The Mystery Ninja
by Lost96Girl
Summary: Will I be alone forever? Shikumaru helps me to not feel lonely though, in fact he makes me want to tell my story. That's what I am going to do, tell my story. Hi my name is Tooru Kato and I would like to be your friend.
1. Chapter 1: Copy Group

A/N: Hello! I am fixing this story so bear with me for a little while! I am making changes that I hope make sense to everyone reading! Thank you for reading and I hope to make the story better for your reading enjoyment.

 **Chapter 1: Copy Group**

I walk into the village, just retuning from a mission. A mission that takes a lot of energy out of me. One that I am the only one allowed to work on. This mission is the only mission I am working on at the moment. I look around the village.

The Hidden Leaf is peaceful and it has been for two years, since Naruto, Sakura, Saskue and Kakashi brought the Fourth Great Ninja to an end. The great war that allowed for all the hidden villages to come together. Only, there are still secrets that the hidden villages keep from each other. I sigh, these thoughts should not be in my head.

It is almost 2 am, but I must report to Lord Sixth, Kakashi Hatake, before I can maybe go to sleep. I did send word about my expected time of arrival to Lord Sixth. But there is no way for me to know if I will go to sleep. I feel the automatic movements of my body and my mind begins to go blank.

"He is waiting for you." Tenzo, or also known as Yamato to everyone else except a few people.

I nod, not wanting to speak since most people in the Hidden Leaf are asleep.

I follow Tenzo to the Hokage's office. My hands are behind my back, I feel so natural but Tenzo gives me a look and I understand that I look too uptight. We climb the stairs while I look straight ahead. We open the door to his office, only to see him fast asleep on his desk.

Tenzo and I look at each other, Tenzo gives me a look of sorrow and walk over to Kakashi. But I know that Kakashi needs to sleep, I was punished a lot for bugging lord third about things in the early hours of the morning. Lord Third sat down and had a very long conversation with me about it. To this day I never try to wake anyone up.

"Kakashi, she is back." Tenzo gently shakes Lord Sixth awake.

"Oh good send her in," Lord Sixth looks at Tenzo and yawns.

Tenzo gives Lord Sixth a frown and replies, "Sir, she already is" Tenzo points over to where I am standing.

"Hello," Kakashi sleepily looks over at me, "I am ready to hear you report." He wipes away the sleep from his eyes. "Re-mind me of your mission'" Kakashi grabs a pen and paper with another yawn.

"I was spying on the copy group and try to understand their motives. What I am still puzzled about is when they exactly formed. Their motives are still unclear, along with their members. I do know that these are powerful ninja, since there is 14 we can assume, though I hate to assume on this it is the best I have, that they meet around the Fourth Great Ninja War. Though I do know there are 2 sensory type ninja and that each member possesses a high level amount jutsu's. So far there are no known rouge ninja and by the looks of it they may be a part of a village." I explain.

I stand at attention, forgetting everything else that I have learned other than the group I have been following. I forget being tired and speak, almost as though I am outside of my body.

"Do you believe that any of them are from the leaf?" Lord Sixth leans on the desk, becoming attentive to the information.

"As far as I can tell no: but none wear head bands during any of these meetings. At first they did wear the Allied Shinobi Forces head bands but they haven't for the last few meetings. They talk in very hushed voices, which make it very hard, even with amazing hearing. Every now and then they exchange files, which this meeting they did. I can only assume that they are copied to not raise suspicion. They need to be very high in ranks, those who can get these files. Only there are a few things that puzzle me about everything. Right now though they seem to be getting ready for something that is going to grow very quickly; and these files are going to be given out at the next meeting. The last files were given out and I could not see anything that was written on them," I pause, taking a breath, "and after they left I tried to follow one but I was unable to track them past a few meters."

"When is their next meeting?" Kakashi asks.

"In three weeks. One of them has a mission. In the three weeks everyone has to get information on ANBU that are highly specialized that aren't well known, such as myself. Causing me to think that they want to do something with power, what they want though is unclear. I have a very bad feeling about this group my lord; this group might have something very different planned than those they are following. Since they do have files we should maybe plant one or two fake files, but we wouldn't know. Maybe after I figure out what they are looking for next meeting. I did get that they want chakra, they talked about it a lot," I reply.

"Good job Tooru." Kakashi waves his hand dismissing me.

I bow and walk out of the office. Walking down the stairs and making a left to go home. Man, I am tired. Not sleeping for three days takes a toll on a person. Not to mention that I have to remember as much of the information as I can from the meetings. I sigh and listen to my feet hit the ground. The streets are so quiet, not even a cat is walking around. I look up at the clear sky, all the stars are bright. I make another turn to go home, my only goal is to go to bed. I need to sleep for a good few hours and then actually do things.

I only allow myself a few hours of sleep a night. But if I cannot sleep I go through information or go train. Which is normal and no one has asked me any questions yet. I know that I need to focus and that is what I am doing. Though, it does hurt me in the long run there is nothing that I can do to change it. I have to focus more on what is going on right now. I have a duty to my village and I do not plan on bringing any harm to it. If anyone gets hurt when I am calling the shots, I cannot even think about what will happen to me as a punishment. But, I don't think will come tonight, even if Lord Sixth commanded me to sleep, it would make it hard.

I turn the corner and see my house. I look at it. Tenzo stayed with Kakashi, they are probably talking about what is going on. I only know that this group is bad news. Trying to get information out of these guys is just as bad if not worse than any other group. Their meetings make sense and the members are mysterious.

I open the door, remaining silent. I have things to do, things that can't wait until the morning. I take off my shoes and walk toward my room.

I open my door and walk in. Once I set down my bag I look to my shelf, I pull out a notebook, this is to keep track of the information I have about the group. I read it over.

 _14 members._

 _Spiritic meeting._

 _High level?_

 _From different villages._

 _No head bands._

 _Chakra._

 _Name? Cannot hear._

 _What do they want? What is their end goal? Are they going to try to take over the world and take away the peace that the world has been feeling?_

 _Targets?_

I write in, _they need information, information on people who are high level and are unknown except to the Kage's._

Still, this doesn't explain anything. The position that these ninja are in is too great. Do they believe that they can take out the world with the villages being united in a way that has never happened before? None of the five Kage's would allow for that to happen.

Not to mention that the fact of the matter is that these ninja are traitors. The ninja that are involved are committing a great crime. They want to destroy the peace that is in the world, and for what? For once life has been easy, almost to where lady fifth was going to let me go out and meet new people, but now I have to worry about this group.

Unlike any one would talk to me anyway. I am still an outsider.

I shake my head.

Why people with high levels of jutsu? They want power and is this what they need to further their plans? But information that the Kage's only know. Now that is going to be hard to do since this kind of information is under lock and key. Getting the information seems like a lot to do, and to get this kind of information in three weeks too. They have their work cut out for them. No way is this type of information going to be out in the open like that.

I sit back in my chair. I need to think this through, but I am having a hard time pulling any new information out from the meeting's, they can go months without meeting. But if there are people in the village connected to this group than I could pull information from them, only I have no idea who it is. Any one could be in this group, which is making things harder. Their group is so big that I have no idea what is happening to cause them to act like this.

Do they know they are being followed? Have I failed? No, they would have come after me by now if that was the case.

I stand up for my desk and put away the notebook.

I glace at the clock, almost three in the morning. I shouldn't leave the house, Tenzo would be mad if I left. He has special orders to make sure I try to sleep.

Speaking of I feel his chakra coming into the house. I look out of my room and see him walking to his room which is across from mine.

"Hard day?" I ask.

"Tooru, can we not do the brainstorming right now?" he asks.

"What do you mean?" I tilt my head.

Tenzo sighs, "Every time you come home ask how hard my day to week was and I tell you. Than you manage to turn around the conversation to talking about your mission. And we stay up until the sun comes up, I have a mission to leave for in a few hours and I would like to sleep."

"You usually help me though…" I mumble.

"I'm not in this mission, this is yours. I shouldn't know this much. Good night," Tenzo shuts his door.

I slink back into my room. I… I should try to sleep I guess. I haven't slept in about three days. I lay down on my bed and stare at the ceiling.

I don't know what they want, and I have no idea how I am going to figure it out.


	2. Chapter 2: The Loud Mouth and The Genius

A/N: I will try to catch up to where I was. But I hope you guys like the story better!

 **Chapter 2: The Loud Mouth and The Genius**

I wake up to movement. It should be Tenzo leaving. I sit up in bed and look around, I only got three hours of sleep. I guess three must be my lucky number this time. I guess Tenzo is slightly late in getting ready to leave.

I roll out of bed and get dressed, mostly just changing into a clean pair of cloths. I walk out and see Tenzo is running around and eating a muffin. He rushes off and leaves me alone in the house.

I scratch my head, what do I do now?

Day after mission is relaxing, and I don't know how to do that. I look through the house, I see Tenzo did not go shopping while I was gone, that seems like the best option. I grab a basket and get on my shoes.

I walk to the market and see the colorful fruits.

"You're such a drag Kiba!" I hear someone say.

"Oh come on! Tamika is great, I think I might be in love with her." The one called Kiba says, almost shouting.

I turn my head and I don't see them. Whoever they are one of them are really loud. But no one else has turned to look at the noise. This must be something normal that happens. I shrug and continue shopping.

"And asking her out now is a good idea?" The quieter voice asks.

Whatever. I just am here to get food for the house. Nothing else. I want the day to be over to focus on the group. Lord Kakashi made me take these breaks. I never had to take breaks before, all the Hokage's before Kakashi let me do what I wanted to do.

Well, not whatever, but they let me work all the time.

"Ruff Ruff!" I know the dog with them is Kiba's: Akamaru.

These two are a part of the group that hangs out with Naruto I realize, his friend group. Friends with the sand siblings as well, the Kasikage Gaara. They are the biggest group in the village. A group of friends that are so tight that no one could break them apart. I wonder why they are out now. Oh, right because Kiba wants to ask Tamika out.

I shake my head. This is a trivial matter. I need to focus on the group. This is a dangerous group since none are known to be missing from a village and no one has reported one going missing.

No I can't think about that now. I need to focus on the food, but these voices are too dominate over everything else. It is slightly annoyed how loud they are, they are ninja, they should know how to be quiet. I grab a banana, I should make a salad of fruit for lunch today.

"Akamaru is right! She leaves in two days. Just because she likes cats and I like dogs shouldn't keep us apart." Kiba sounds very heated over Tamika bringing me out of my thoughts.

Pathetic, two people fighting over a girl when they should be focused on a mission they have next. Focusing on asking someone out is troublesome. None of us should have time to be worrying about relationships. I am an 18 year old ninja who has so much ahead of me, I have more to work for than these two.

I pay for the fruit in my basket. I turn around and run into the mysterious guy that I finally know who it is. I am taken aback by this. But I also drop all my fruit. Which I am upset about.

"Hey sorry." He says, a little surprised about seeing me.

I am looking at his chest since that's is how short I am to him. I feel his hands on my hip, as though he is trying to stop me from moving. It doesn't matter though. He made me drop my fruit.

"No it was my fault." I mumble into his chest.

I look up and see Shikamaru looking down at me. His face is shocked by seeing me. I break out of his hold and bend down to gather my fruit. This sucks, I make sure none of them got bruised. I pick up the fruit and don't look up at the two of them. I shouldn't even be talking to them, they shouldn't have made me drop my fruit. This is shaping up to being a bad day.

I sigh, nothing can stop this now.

But I still shouldn't be talking with them. I shouldn't even be seen by these two.

"Why are you even here lady…" Kiba asks after a moment.

"I just got back from a mission yesterday." I say evenly.

"Ruff ruff!"

"Well said Akamaru! I should have brought Neji, at least all he really cares about is Tenten." Kiba says to Akamaru.

"Well, good bye," I say.

I feel their eyes on me. I turn the corner and walk home. I believe it is odd that they are looking at me like that. I made a mistake by staying as long as I did.

In the distance I can hear the two bickering a little bit more. I sigh, again pathetic men. But, running into the two of them was odd.

I walk into the house and begin to make lunch.

 **xx**

I open my eyes and see I am on the floor of my room. It's been three days since I went to the market, I was looking at information about the group. I guess I feel asleep while I was working. I look at the clock, seeing that it is seven in the morning. I look around and see that I only have a single scroll out. The room is clean, maybe a little too clean.

The plain walls have nothing to dress them and probably never will. The bookshelf is clean and has everything that I need. The only thing missing is the scroll next to me. I sigh and get up and put away the scroll. I see that the sun is getting ready to rise, something that has lost all beauty to it since, no that information is irrelevant to what I am working on right now. The last thing I remember is the clock reading 4:36 in the morning. A few hours of sleep.

I go to the kitchen and see that there are dirty dishes everywhere. I automatically, almost against my will, go and clean up the kitchen. After I finish I make breakfast.

I eat and change my cloths. I look back over the work I did last night and see that I made very little progress on the plans. I have to be ready in two weeks about so that way I can go.

No one will mind if I just vanish.

Other than the Hokage.

I push that thought out of my mind. The group is something that is important, and it is for the village.

I need to go to the market, I ran out of fruit. Something that I hate doing by myself. I put up a bubble that allows me to detect any chakra and I see that there is no one outside the house. My mind wonders to the group.

Why did they even form? I have been looking into them for about a year and a half at this point. Something that was started in secret when I stumbled upon them while I was training. I went straight to lady fifth and reported what little I could pick up from the groups conversation. Shortly after I was sent to spy on them. I gather the information and report back.

Kakashi recently took over in the past few months. Lady fifth could not wait to give up the seat of Hokage. But, Kakashi was brought up to speed and he and I have been going back and forth. Tenzo helps when he can, which is rarely. When Tenzo does join in it is not helpful.

I look up and see that the market is busy for it being ten in the morning. I sigh and pull my shoulders back and head up. I will not disgrace lord thirds wishes for me to be a strong person in crowds. I feel a similar chakra approaching though. I tilt my head to the side and see Shikamaru and Kiba walking around the market.

Shikamaru looks annoyed and bored out of his mind. Kiba is talking his ear off though. I snap my focus back to the front and refuse to let them know that I had seen them. They are a distraction that I do not need. Anything they say to me does not mean anything to me since I have bigger things to focus on. Anyone that I meet will only inhibit my ability to focus, something that I was told by lord third.

Something that I plan on keeping and making sure that I follow his wishes. Lord Third word was law, and will remain it. The other Hokage's have not changed any of his three main rules for me. Rules that I have no idea if I can even go against at this point.

"Hey!" I hear someone yell and I know that it is Kiba.

I ignore him and go into a shop to get something for tonight at least. When I walk out I see Kiba with a big stupid grin on his face. I recall Kiba being hot tempered and does not think through any plan. He attacks and tries to use counterattacks to his advantage. Though he his better then when he was much younger he still has a long way to go.

I turn my attention to Shikamaru, who seems surprised to see me around again. I have heard the Shikamaru is the lazy genius that knows when to attack and when not to. The only problem that I can see is his lazy nature and not wanting to do anything. Something that I envy about him.

I step around them but Kiba grabs my arms, "Hey, you're the girl from a few days ago. I was wanting to ask you a few questions."

"I have work to do," I snarl.

Kiba retracts his hand and I walk away. I sigh and go home. I feel eyes on me and I turn around and see both the boys looking at me.


	3. Chapter 3: A Change of Orders

**Chapter 3: A Change of Orders**

I slowly work on plans. But looks like the old plan is still the best. Sit in a tree and listen. Since I have only slept a total of five hours the past two days I go back to the market for my mandatory rest time. I look up to the sky. I am prohibited to think about the group, an order from lord sixth. I sit down on a bench and hear a few voices. I place Kiba's right away. I sigh and get up to leave, Only I am able to sit up before Kiba and Shikamaru come into view.

"Hey!" Kiba yells, spotting me.

Kiba runs up to me and sits down. He looks at Shikamaru to sit down, but Shikamaru looks away from him.

"What do you want?" I finally ask.

"Just to get to know you, and why you always walk away," Kiba says

I tilt my head confused as I look up to the clouds. I don't know of walking away. I mean, I thought the conversation was over, I never answer questions about myself. I just wanted to leave. It also doesn't help that I only talk to people that I find useful, and right now these two are not useful.

Then it clicks, "I was going home," I reply.

"Shikamaru, I told you!" Kiba yells as Akamaru jumps on Shikamaru.

"Ow," Shikamaru yelps, "Idiot, you did not figure that out I did."

"Awe come on Shikamaru, I am only trying to help you out," Kiba whines.

This phrase causes Shikamaru to stiffen for a moment before relaxing again. I look between the two men, confused by what Kiba just said and the reaction. I let it go though. The is no point in me sitting here and listening to them argue about things. I slowly stand up and cross my arms.

"Don't," Shikamaru says after a moment.

"But," Kiba starts, "Aren't you the one that kept your eyes on her as she walked away and…"

Kiba never finishes because Shikamaru covers Kiba's mouth with a slight panic in his eyes. I yawn and place a hand on my hip. Tired and confused by what is happening but I already know I should get out of here.

"Sorry about that. Kiba doesn't know when to shut up," Shikamaru says.

I shrug my shoulder, hoping to get the point across that I don't really care. Nothing he would have said would phase me. I don't have time for any of this, I shouldn't even be talking to these guys, I could get in trouble for it.

Kiba rips Shikamaru's hand away, "But I heard you tell Gaara that you saw a really pretty girl that made you want to…"

"Man this is such a drag!" Shikamaru and I say at the same time.

We snap our attention to each other. I click my tongue in annoyance. I should just keep my mouth shut.

"Kiba I am walking her home. This girl is less troublesome than you." Shikamaru turns around while grabbing my hand and begins to walk away.

"Shikamaru!" Kiba yell's from behind us.

We walk a little, hand in hand. I get lost in thought, what just happened? After a few blocks of walking in silences Shikamaru lets go of my hand and steps away. Placing his own hands in his pocket. He looks down at the ground then back up at me. I am annoyed, I was just dragged away and I could have just walked.

"Sorry about that, Kiba gets on my nerves a lot, especially today" Shikamaru looks over his shoulder to make sure that Kiba did not follow us.

I already know that Kiba did not follow up. The last thing I noticed is that Kiba seemed really please with himself about what just happened. I don't understand why he was. I should walk away from Shikamaru, not tell him anything. But that doesn't seem to be the case.

Lord Third taught me to have manners when speaking with someone. I need to ask him why or say something I guess. I just don't want to, but I cannot break the rules that have been placed on me.

"Its fine, but you should have at least given me a hint at what your plans were. I am not ready to go home," I say, slightly annoyed I cross my arms in front of my chest.

I look away from him at the street light next to me that is not on. I wanted to sit and try to relax. I know going home will only cause me to want to work, which I a not allowed to at this moment. But I also don't know how to relax, I think it has to do with me working all the time on a mission.

But the thing with that, I want to protect the village and I know I can. I don't normally work with people and people try to avoid me at all cost. I don't really understand why, and I don't care to understand why.

Shikamaru chuckles bringing my attention back to him, "I could have but it really wasn't a plan, more of an impulse to get away from Kiba."

"Why is that?" I reply, still a little irritated, "Was is something that Kiba was talking about?"

"Yes," Shikamaru looks back at me.

"Well, you have fun dealing with him. I am going to go and work," I say and head home. I don't particular care about the drama.

And I don't care about having friends. I decide to go and talk to Kakashi about this.

I walk into the room and see Kakashi finishing talking with Naruto. Kakashi looks at me and he keeps an even facial expression. I look at Naruto and see the confusion on his face. Something that I am use of people doing when they finally see me. I don't spare him more than a glance. I came here with a purpose, and he is sitting in the Hokage's seat. One person tat I am allowed to fully talk to.

"Tooru what a pleasant surprise." Kakashi mumbles.

"Kakashi who is this? I don't remember seeing her around before," Naruto comments.

"What is it Tooru?" Kakashi asks.

I take in a breath, "I wish to speak with you my lord."

Naruto looks between Kakashi and I. I can tell he is confused and does not understand what is going on. I know he doesn't, but I also know that he is next in line for the Hokage. And when he is closer to becoming the Hokage I can fully tell him about me. But right now, he is not allowed to know who I am.

"Naruto please leave us," Kakashi states.

Naruto pouts, "Come on Kakashi! Who is she?!"

Kakashi gives Naruto a look. A look that makes Naruto back away and leave the room. Kakashi turns his attention to me. Kakashi waits for me to speak.

I never come to his office unless I am reporting back or he calls me to come and see him. I never drop by to talk to him. But I know this is not to talk about small things. I need to tell him that I am about to break a rule Lord Third gave me, one that no one has challenged.

"I believe I must be punished." I state.

"Why is that?" Kakashi places a hand on his cheek.

"People are learning about me Kakashi, no one should know about me…" I say.

I tilt my head down. I know that I have messed up with the plan. No one in the village should know who I am of that I exist. I was told to never be found out. Lord Third made that very clear, I should have been more careful with everything going on. But I wasn't and now Kiba and Shikamaru know about me.

Kakashi chuckles, "So?"

"I was told by Lord Third only a handful of people should know about me," I say.

"I am no Lord Third. I am a different person, I don't think you are okay. I want you to have friends." Kakashi tells me.

"Friends?" I question.

"People for you to hang out with when relaxing or to help train with. There are many things that a friend can do for you." Kakashi explains.

"Is that an order?" I ask.

Kakashi pauses. He hates giving me orders. But he has learned that is the only way to get me to do anything. Kakashi stands up. I stand at attention. I know he hates this but I can't stop doing this. I take in a breath, if he orders me I don't know if I can do it. Lord Third, that was one of his rules, 'never have friends for they will hinder you and place a target on you.'

Is Kakashi going to break that rule? Can I ever go against it?

"Who is it that has been talking to you?" Kakashi asks.

"Kiba, Akamaru and Shikamaru." I say.

"Have you talked with them at all?" Kakashi asks.

I nod my head, "That is why I came here. I have talked with them twice now. And that is more than I should. Hence the reason why I came here to ask for punishment. I disobeyed orders."

"Tooru, you did not," Kakashi states.

"I did though. I can only talk to people once every six months as Lord Third told me. I have talked to them three days apart from each other." I explain.

"Tooru," Kakashi pauses. "I'm giving you an order."

I stand at attention and do not speak. A new order, an order that I think is coming, one I do not know if I can follow.

"I want you to become friends with people, starting with Shikamaru and Kiba." Kakashi says.

 **xx**

Over the next few days I see Shikamaru walking around and we exchange hellos and a few pleasant conversations, never really bringing up what Kiba was talking about. It has been easier talking with Shikamaru than Kiba, and Kakashi told me to take an hour to sit and talk with them. Clearly they both got the message and have been switching to hang out with me. I sigh and go to the place Shikamaru and I are meeting for lunch. I am sitting, look really bored.

I see a man that looks like Shikamaru, but the chakra s slightly different from Shikamaru's. I take a closer look and believe that it is Shikamaru's dad. Kiba invited me over to his place for dinner tomorrow night, saying his family is okay with it. I am hesitant to go, but Kakashi ordered me to be friends with them.

I guess this is what having friend is like. I think it is distracting. No way should I have let this happen. I should have just stayed in the house and made sure only Tenzo saw me, which he hasn't. Tenzo is still out on a mission, and that mission seems to be a long one.

The door opens and I feel Shikamaru's chakra coming in. I sit up a little when I hear him sigh in annoyance. Shikamaru spots me and comes and sits with me. I look down and say nothing.

"So I wanted to talk to you," Shikamaru blurts out.

I look up, "What is it?"

"It's from about a week ago and why Kiba and I were yelling the market place that day," Shikamaru starts, "He woke me up from my nap and dragged me to help him ask Tamika out."

I give him a look of confusion, "S why is this of importance? I mean… I have no idea what has happened between you guys, so why did Kiba ask you to help him out?"

Shikamaru sighs, "This is important because he woke me up, and Tamika and him honesty might not work out. I mean she is a cat person. Tamika is the girl who's grandmother sells weapons as I am sure you already know. But Kiba won't shut up about how she said yes to him. Everyone in the group knows about it. It's getting on some of out nerves. But we know that is who Kiba is. He doesn't know when to shut his mouth."

"And that makes you upset…" I inquire. I place my arms on the table.

"Yes it does Tooru," Shikamaru's replies

Shikumaru and I sit in silence. I keep my head down and focus. I do not know what to say and no words will form in my mouth. Honestly, I have watched this group since I joined the ANBU at the age of 6, longing to be a part of them. Now I am here, having a chance to at least talk to Shikamaru. To talk to Kiba, I remember Kiba saying a thing or two about Tamika when we hang out. Is this what friendship is about? Complaining about each other and still being friends with them? Does that make any sense? No, logically wouldn't you stop being friends with people if they annoyed you. I never had many friends, only people I work with on missions and even then I cannot tell people things.

Not to mention that I was ordered not to have any friends by Lord Third. He said that he was protecting me in those times. Ya right. Some protection. I wonder what Lord Third would think about this now… he would scorn me and punish me.

"Did you hear what I said Tooru?" Shikamaru asks, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry no. I was just thinking." I say honestly, glimpsing at Shikamaru through my hair.

He is looking at me, just where I can't tell. I really hate this. Usually Kiba just talks and talks, he said I remind him of Hinata, which I am nothing like her. And Shikamaru tries to get me to talk, only I never know how to reply. At some points we only sit in silence while I think of an answer.

"How long have you been in the ANBU?" He points to my left arm with the tattoo for the ANBU on it.

"Oh," I look at it and shrug, "A few years I guess, but you can't actually tell anyone that you know who I am."

"Why is that?" Shikamaru gives me a concerned look.

"I wish I could tell you Shikamaru but I can't. Only the Hokage, an ANBU member and I know. Now you, which you shouldn't," I pause, "Wait, is Tamika coming back soon?"

"Yes. Which means that Kiba and Tamika will walk around and go on dates. Not that I don't date, but it would just be nice if everyone didn't freak out about it, or everyone in the friend group was dating someone." Shikamaru says.

"They are all dating? And friend group?" I ask.

"You might be familiar with Naruto's name. He is the hero of our group." Shikamaru pauses, "And yes. They are all almost in relationships. I think Lee and Shino are the only two not in one. Which sucks because we are getting bugged about when we are going to date."

"Bugged by who?" I question.

"Parents. Don't you have any Tooru?" Shikamaru counters.

I look down. No, I don't. I never even know who they were. I look back at Shikamaru who has wide eyes.

"They just nag is all. It's pretty bothersome." Shikamaru says.

I look at him and nod. Shikamaru opens his mouth as though to say something else but doesn't. I think I killed the conversation that Shikamaru and I were having. We order food and after we eat I look at the time. Break time is over. And I know he knows that as well.

Shikamaru gets up and leaves with his father. I sigh and slump back. I need to finish planning for tomorrow. I need to get more than four hours.

I pay and leave for home. Thinking about the group and decide watch for now is better, I cannot act yet.


	4. Chapter 4: New Events

**Chapter 4: New Events**

The mission. The mission the mission.

I just sat here for two days. Only to find out that there was no information exchanged. To hear that the plans changed since they all needed more time to find the information about the ninja they are trying to…

And that is as much as I heard. None of them talked after that. And for the past hour they have all been standing still and not moving. I don't move from my location though. Again and again these people.

I can't get an idea as to what they want or what will happen to me in the time being. Their meeting should be over soon though, according to my internal clock.

I watch as they all look at each other and peel off one by one.

Than there are two in the clearing.

Neither move.

"What?" Asks the man I believe is the leader.

"Do you know?" they ask.

"Have you gotten the information?" the leader counters.

The person chuckles, "not yet, but I have ideas."

They turn away and leave. The leader looks around and looks right at my hiding spot. I stop breathing. I only see the leaders mouth, but I swear there is a smile creeping up on is face. After three hours of sitting in the tree I expand to see if there are any chakras near. I see there isn't and move back to the village. I wait until I am halfway back before talking to Tenzo.

"Tenzo? Kakashi?" I ask.

"Yes?" Kakashi asks.

"I am heading back with new information." I say.

I look around a keep moving.

I feel chakra. Two of them. I look around but I see no one following me. But I know some one is. I look to the path and see a figure walking. This is a different chakra than the one following. I sit and wait. I will have to wait a little before moving again.

I jump down and walk behind the person. I am a few meters behind them but I think I should be safe if I blend in.

Eventually I make it back to the village and go to Kakashi.

The chakra stayed with me, I don't know who's it is. Once I got into the village the chakra vanished. Damn.

I open the door to see Naruto in the office. Naruto narrows his eyes at me and says goodbye.

I look at Kakashi and explain what happened.

Kakashi sits there for a moment longer. I know he is thinks bout something to tell me. I know that this is a lot to take in.

"Tooru, are you sure you think he looked at you?" Kakashi asks.

I nod, "I am. Either that or I can't tell where people are looking."

Kakashi waves me off and I know that it is time for me to leave.

"Wait," Kakashi says.

I freeze. I do not turn around but I stay standing where I am.

"How are things going with Kiba and Shikamaru?" Kakashi questions.

"Okay," I pause, "I don't see the point in this. I can't tell what the intent is when they say anything. And it annoys me."

I hear Kakashi chuckle, "That is part of being friends is about."

"If it is I don't want it. Lord Third was right in that friends are a distraction. Because of it I can't fully focus on the group." I counter.

"But you have brought me more information. It is for the good of the village. I guess you are too blind to see it." Kakashi mentions.

I tilt my head, "I still think it is pointless. Worrying if people like you. That should have nothing to do with being a ninja."

"Well," Kakashi pauses, "What would make it better?"

"I don't know. Usually the Hokage figures out what is best for me. I never get a say in the path I am going down. I will listen to you, whatever you decide to tell me I will follow you Kakashi." I tell him.

"You may leave now." Kakashi states.

I open the door and walk out.

I don't know why friends are important to me. Nothing should come before a mission. I know that, Kakashi knows that, any ninja knows that.

 **XX**

The following day I go to my favorite tree to watch clouds before going to the market to get food for Tenzo and I. He also just got out of a mission and it is a rare time when we are both home. Normally he is leaving for a mission while I am home and his missions tend to be longer than mine. He was on a mission with Sakura, Sai, and Naruto. The nature of their mission I don't know yet.

I have to begin to draw up plans for my next mission. I am always planning ahead. I have to be or else I might get caught off guard when I need to return to the village safely. And after the last mission I am worried I got found out. Kakashi is worried as well. I need to think of something to protect myself from getting hurt.

I am being forced to relax though for a few hours. I sigh and look up at the sky. The clouds are really pretty today, there are a lot of them. They float in the sky, not having a care in the world. Sometimes the clouds have different shades in them which is what makes them so pretty and nice too look at.

"You're in my spot," the familiar lazy voice says.

I look up to see Shikamaru standing next to the tree, a look of shock on his face by seeing me. He wasn't expecting to see me watching clouds. As I am not expecting to see him here. Shouldn't he be doing something? I gather my thoughts and form a thought.

"Sorry Shikamaru, I was actually about to leave." I begin to get up to leave.

"No," Shikamaru said a little quickly, "Stay, I just didn't take you as a cloud watching type. I don't mean to kick you out." Shikamaru explains as he blushes.

"It's nice, they aren't much trouble. Plus, I've been here longer than I should have been. I need to go to the market," I glance back up at the clouds not reading into what he said.

"Can I come with you?" Shikamaru asks simply.

I nod. "Well, we will be walking around and you seem like a lazy man."

"Eh, that's fine." Shikamaru shrugs and starts walking.

We begin to walk toward the market, silently. Neither of us knowing what to say to the other. After Shikamaru asked me about parents he hasn't found anything to talk to me about. I look up at the sky, the sun is really bright almost blinding. When we arrive at the market we head over to the vegetable stand. Looking through the food, I think of my life. I grab different colors for dinner for the next week, filling up my basket. I know I can say a million things to Shikamaru as we walk through the market.

We come to a fish stand and I stop. I begin looking for something to put in rice, or really anything for dinner tonight. All the fishes are different colors, my eye is drawn up to the man behind the fish. He is short, almost my height and he is only glaring at me. A glare that is not welcoming or making me want to buy any fish, but I know Tenzo likes fish. I pick out a fish and quickly walk away.

Man that guy was creepy I think to myself. I quickly move to looking at some more vegetables. Shikamaru following behind me quietly.

"That guy was creepy," Shikamaru mumbles.

I nod in agreement.

I don't know what to say. People don't normally hang around me since I don't talk and they cannot get any information out of me. I think back to the groups meeting and know that they reflect me in some ways. Giving away just enough information but it comes too slowly. They know the full picture but everyone looking on knows nothing of the picture.

After a few hours at being at the market we finally turn to leave, most of the trip was silent and only a few remarks here and there. By then I filled up two baskets of food. I know for dinner I could eat alone or Tenzo could join me in any way. I glance over at Shikamaru, knowing I won't say anything to him. I welcome the silence from Shikamaru, and find it soothing. Silence is a golden thing to me. Yet, it is the only thing that I have ever known, so Shikamaru makes it easier to accept the silence in my life.

"Shikamaru!" A female voice yells behind us.

We turn around to see Ino and Choji running up to us. Two more people that I have only seen but not talked to. Which makes me nerves. Kakashi specifically stated Shikamaru and Kiba. No one else.

"Hey Ino. Hey Choji." Shikamaru says evenly.

"Um Shikamaru," Choji says looking at me ignoring Shikamaru's greeting, "Who is this?"

"I'm Tooru," I say.

I extend my hand to shake Choji's. He looks at my hand and back at Shikamaru, he finally takes my hand to shake it. I am actually talking to Choji and Ino; people I watched but never dreamed I would talk to.

I never imagined talking to people in general. I knew I would always be alone, that was a fact I had accepted a long time ago, but knowing people is so different. Kakashi is making me do this.

"Well Shikamaru has never mentioned you before Tooru," Ino says in a teasing tone.

She cuddles up next to Shikamaru, as though trying to get him to respond to her in any way. Shikamaru tries to push her off by Ino keeps looking at me.

"Ino, we only met a few weeks ago," Shikamaru says, a little annoyed.

Ino looks over at me than back at Shikamaru, "And you are already at the market together?"

"No, we only bumped into each other." I explain.

I don't know why I replied so fast. Ino and Choji look between each other. I glance at Shikamaru who has the slightest panic in his eyes. I look between the three confused. Did I say something wrong in the process of this exchange? No, I said what was on my mind, lord third told me that is what I should always do when I am meeting new people.

"And you each have a basket of food?" Choji asks looking back and forth between Shikamaru and myself.

Choji points to the basket of food that each one of us are holding. Ino puts her hand on Choji's shoulder, providing back up for him. I have no idea what to say.

"Shikamaru was just… being friendly." I answer.

"And why is that Shikamaru?" Ino asks

"Umm…" Shikumaru and I look at each other.

Ino and Choji begin to laugh at our reaction. I am even more confused since they are mine and Shikamaru was only helping with them. I open my mouth to speak.

"Well, I have to go and put these away before they go bad," Shikamaru finally says and pulls me away, I wave and begin to walk away.

"Oh, do you guys want to go to the bath house with us tomorrow?" Choji asks.

Shikamaru shrugs, "Sure, we will be there." Than we walk away.


	5. Chapter 5: Past Coming Out

**Chapter 5: Past Coming Out**

We return to my house, talking. The sun is getting ready to set, and the sky looks like it is on fire. But it has no beauty, and I need to figure out my next plan of action. I have been distracted for too long. I need to refocus on the mission and having Shikamaru here is not helping me think of any plans. If anything I have be failing. I think I was followed, and being followed is not a good thing for me. I should be focused, not worried about what the other will think of me. It is time for Shikamaru to leave so I can work while I cook.

"But, will they leave us alone?" I say for what feels like the millionth time to Shikamaru.

Attempting to figure out a way to ask him to leave. I figure asking him the same question over and over again will get him to go. But so far he has stayed and talked with me. Something that I was not expecting. I don't need him around while I am planning about things, I need to be left alone. It is moments like these I question if Kakashi was right in allowing me to have friends.

"Maybe they will maybe they won't." Shikamaru yawns.

"Awe, is the super tough ninja tired?" I tease him ever so slightly. Before I can even think I ask, "Why don't you come in Shikamaru?"

I can feel my eyes widen and I am taken aback. Looks like I will be secretly planning while he is around. I shouldn't be inviting him inside. I should be working. I know that. Why did I invite Shikamaru inside my house? I need to focus. I should have left after Ino and Choji left.

"Sure Tooru." Shikamaru says, keeping his calm composer.

We walk through the door to hear rustling in the living room. We walk to the living room and find Kakashi sitting on the couch playing with kunai. He's calm composer looks bored and a little out of place since he is not in his office working. Which is honestly where he should be. Since I am going to head over there after dinner to bounce ideas off of him. Which they won't be as well thought out since I won't be fully focused on the plans.

"Ah, just the two I want to talk to. Listen I have something I need to tell you two," Lord Sixth says.

He glances between us and then turns his attention back to the kunai he is playing with. I don't know why he is here. The Hokage should never have to visit me. I believe this has something to do with the last spying mission I was on. If I was almost caught than I am a goner for sure. I need to make sure I act like the perfect ninja because it should lessen the punishment.

I automatically go into the proper stands, "Of course Lord Sixth."

Shikamaru looks at me quizzing, and I am forced to ignore him and I cannot explain it to him. Besides, he would think I am crazy if I could even begin to explain the situation to him. I am only Shikamaru's friend. Nothing more. I hang out with him because Lord Sixth ordered me to. I like hanging out with him more than Kiba though. I mentally shake my head, no. I need to focus on Kakashi and what he has to tell me.

I should not be worried about what the others are thinking. I should not be worried about what Shikamaru thinks of me now.

I can feel a war going on in my head. I should care because I am trying to be friends with Kiba and Shikamaru, but I need to remember why I am here. I am here to help protect the village.

"Well, Tooru your long term mission is becoming very intel base, almost too much for one person to handle. I want Shikamaru to help you with everything about this mission. You need help figuring out this group. Its time someone other than Yamato to help you," Just than Tenzo pops around the corner and waves. "This means I give you permission to tell Shikamaru everything about yourself. This includes the situation with you clan and your past here in the Hidden leaf. Starting in let's say two days I want you two to begin analyzing this groups that has popped up." Kakashi looks between the two of us.

"May I ask one question Lord Sixth?" Lord Sixth nods in reply, "Why Shikamaru of all people?"

"He is one of the best analysis we have here, his abilities may even pass yours. Plus, you need the help and I believe the he can be more helpful than anyone else." Kakashi pauses, "Yamato and I are going out. Start telling him your story." He and Tenzo get up and leave the house.

"What just happened?" Shikamaru asks as he turns to me after a moment of silence.

I am looking ahead. I am trying to understand what just happened as well. Tell him everything? No one knows really anything about me except Tenzo and the Hokage's. Kakashi just gave me permission to explain everything to Shikamaru though. I feel the story coming up and no block is there.

I got an order that I never have gotten from a Hokage. I can tell someone else about me.

No, this is to help with the work. We need to trust each other. Shikamaru knows nothing about me but I know a lot of information about him. This is for work, nothing else.

"I can tell you everything," I say a little shocked, moving out my position.

Shikamaru walks to the kitchen trying to ease the air, "Well, you talk while we make dinner."

I follow him and pull out the carrots. I take a deep breath, "My clans name is forgotten and we were Kato. Long ago we were one of the most powerful clans and we were not really feared since we tried not to use our jutsu for evil or power. Well, my clan was taken by Orochimaru a day after I was born. He wanted to understand our powers, which I will eventually explain. By the age of two I escaped somehow, I don't remember how though. I came back to the village and Lord Third decided that I should be put through the academy, and I finished within two years."

 _Flash back_

 _"No she should not be able to take the exam," sensi says._

 _"I believe she is ready, she is passing more things than her group." Lord third counters._

 _I look between the two, not understanding what is being said. This is one of the first times I remember being in this room._

 _"She is a child," Sensi says._

 _"I am ordering you to let her take them," Lord Third rises._

 _There is a knock on the door, "Sir, Naruto…"_

 _"I will handle him." Lord third turns back to sensi, "She is taking it."_

 _Lord Third leave the room. Sensi looks at me and turns away. I run up to keep up with him._

 _The next thing I remember is seeing the dead bodies. The Chunin exams. I was told that I would see people die, but I didn't think it would be like this. People thought that Lord third was crazy for putting a child in the exams._

 _"Tooru, come on," a teammate says._

 _I look at him, but I don't remember his name. I don't remember either of their names. They were older, 10 years I think. I cried. I cried because someone just died in front of me and my team had killed them. I cried because it was unfair to see something like that._

 _"Tooru." The other one says._

 _I back away from them. I don't want to be with people who kill others. I can't… I won't stay with them._

 _"No," I mumble, backing away._

 _I watch as they both sigh. I don't want to go with them. I refuse to go with them. No. I want to stay here and wait for Lord Third. I don't want to do this anymore. Normally Sensi would protect me and make sure that I didn't see those things._

 _"Tooru, come on. We need to go. We have two days to get to the tower." A team member says._

 _I shake my head._

 _"Tooru please don't cry…" the other one says._

 _I feel one pick me up and we start to move. We get to the tower. Than it jumps to the last part of the examine._

 _I am standing over the body. A body I struck down. I stare in horror. I can feel my brain snap._

 _I kneel down and can feel the tears coming. A ninja comes up behind me and picks me up. I cry silently though. I never want to hurt some one like that again. I don't want to_

I didn't know at the time that I didn't have a choice. Lord Third decided to make me jonin by 5 and on my sixth birthday he made me ANBU. Only, I felt lonely. I worked with Itachi and Kakashi and a few others. Only when I worked with Itachi, all he would talk about is Saskue. So I would go and watch you guys playing ninja, exclude Naruto and watch Sakura and Ino's friendship grow. Eventually watch it turn sour as guys became part of the picture. I watched you, Ino and Choji find that friend of yours and start a kind of group. How Kiba and Akamaru were determined to always be the best. How Shino and Hinata were always alone… how Hinata was disowned by her own clan. That was something that I wish I could have helped with, only I was under strict orders to not interfere with you guys and not make friends I would not be able to keep. I never payed attention to Lee, Tenten or Neji since they are a year older than you guys. My missions were always dangerous, even for a 6 year old. At first I had one or two older ANBU members with me when I went out on missions but eventually Lord Third thought I did not need anyone. Sometimes he would put me with Itachi. Itachi told me about his clan and how he was trying to save them but none of them could see it. We had a lot of down time traveling but it was filled with silence and sometimes we would talk, only what do you say to a six year old in ANBU? The reason why Lord Third made me ANBU is because if someone touches me skin to skin I can perfectly copy any and all jutsu they possess. This includes those that only their family has. I take a portion of their chakra and put it into my own system adding to the chakra pool that I have. My chakra is greater than the nine tails, normally we only take chakra and powers when others allowed, but Lord Third needed the power of my clan and forced me to take any ones chakra. I was alone and scared so I did not know any better until I started to read about my clan and how we helped the Hidden Leaf." I glance over to Shikamaru who is cutting the chicken up only listening, "I eventually began to watch Orochimaru and what he was doing, how he began to jump bodies and how it would affect him in the long run. Only I could not fully understand what he was doing. I could not piece it together until it was almost too late for Saskue, and even then I was still too slow. After Itachi left the village I started to watch the Akatsuki since he told me about it before he left. He became my inside source, but that stopped when he got sick. I knew he wanted to die making Saskue think he killed him. After the Akatsuki began making bolder moves I couldn't track them and Master Jiraiya died because of one miscalculation. During the War I was in intel with your dad, but they made me leave to track Naruto since he was being an idiot and left. I advised him to remain cautious since tailed beast do have the bomb. And about an hour after I left it happened." I take a breath and see Shikumaru shaking a bit, "After the war a new group popped up and began to cause some concern. So Lady Fifth had me spy on them. As of right now their origins is unknown and what their power is. And that is all I know at this point."

"Wow, so this group sounds just as bad as the Akatsuki huh?" Shikamaru says evenly, you could hear the smile in his voice.

"Out of the whole story that's the only question you have for me?" I say as I walk to the table to sit down.

"What do you expect? It is the last thing that you said." Shikamaru pauses, "You were really forced to take the exams like that?"

I nod my head. I didn't tell him what happened after the exams, for crying in front of everyone and how I acted in the second stage of the exams. That was one of the first real punishments I ever got.

"Yes, Lord Third thought it would be a good idea," I answer.

"But," Shikamaru begins, "You didn't see a dead body before."

"No, my sensi always made sure I never saw a body on a mission. And my teammates made sure I was protected. They didn't prepare me for the exams." I say.

"I remember the first time. I wasn't ready, even though my dad told me about it. I never believed it was that bad. Though I was old enough to understand." Shikamaru says.

"I guess so. Death is an awful thing." I say.

There is a moment of silence. I wonder what is going on through Shikamaru's head. I know he can understand things quickly, but I don't think he will understand this as fast as he usually does. Besides, I didn't tell him everything about me. I can't tell him everything about me right now.

I look away from him and allow him to think about what he just heard. I know that I would walk away. For some reason though he is not.

"So you really watched us since we were 6?" Shikamaru's voice is light and you can hear the smile in his voice.

I look at him, surprised. I wasn't thinking he would ask me about that. I see a smile playing on his face. Is he trying to lighten the mood between us? We were just talking about things ninja should be talking about. I wasn't ready for this to happen.

"Yes, I always wanted to talk to you guys but I was always on a mission or I was sleeping." I say as I sit down.

I hear footsteps walking toward me. Shikamaru lifts my chin up to look at him, he is kneeling in front of me. He has a playful smirk on his face; almost as though he is trying to hold back laughter. But when he looks into my eyes he becomes serious. I hold eye contact with him.

I don't know what he is going to do next. But, I feel something coming. There is chakra near-by. Heading in this direction.

"Tooru look, I'm actually really glad we are talking. Honestly I have seen you around the village for a long time and always wanted to go up and say hi to you, but then Yamato would come up and you two would leave. Every time that happened…"

"Someone is here." I say abruptly, while I get up and out of Shikamaru's hold.

I walk to the door and opening it, reveling all of Shikamaru's friends falling into the house except a few of them. I look back at the rest of them. I don't know how they found the place I live, but I feel like it has something to do with Lord Kakashi.

"We weren't listening in!" Naruto exclaims as he gets up. Sakura hits him on the head.

"We haven't even been asked anything you idiot!" Sakura yells, then smiles at me.

Naruto looks at me and widen his eyes.

"Wait! You've come to Kakashi's office a few times! Who are you? I want to know who you are!" Naruto yells.

"I'm guessing Yamato sent you over?" I ask while sighing.

I never know what those two are planning. Kakashi is going to get an earful when I see him next. I try to look at them but there are so many of them that I find it hard to look at any one of them.

"Yes he did," Shino says, "He said that you already know of us."

I simple nod, "My names Tooru."

I don't want to be doing this. I can feel myself closing off, I wasn't ready for something like this to happen. I never am. I don't want to do this. I see them looking at me and I try to keep calm.

"You are going to the bath house tomorrow?" Hinata asks, a little timidly.

I slowly nod my head. I will be there, but I didn't know that all of them were going to be there. I wish I didn't have to go. But Kakashi told me two days to relax and fill in Shikamaru, which also means fitting in time to relax since he isn't used to how I work.

"The only person we couldn't find was Shikamaru though. Although we already know that you two know each other, Ino and Choji already told us." The one called Neji says, interrupting Lady Hinata and her question.

Shikamaru walks around the corner, oblivious to the conversation that is happening. "Hey, the rice finally finished," He looks up as the group gasps collectively.

He turns red in the face quickly and looks away. Which I don't know why he did that. Doesn't that mean someone is guilty of something?

"SHIKAMARU!" They all yell at once.

"Look, it's been a long day. We can talk tomorrow right? Bath house. See you guys there." I say as I shove them out of the house. I turn around and see Shikamaru's look of confusion, "Sorry Shikamaru, Lord Sixth and Yamato rarely tell me about their plans."

After a moment of standing, "Come on, let's eat."

"Shikamaru can I ask you something?" I ask.

"Sure, what is it?" Shikamaru replies, gathering food.

"Why did you turn away from them? Did something happen?" I question.

Shikamaru takes a moment to pause. I don't know why. I just wanted to know why he turned away, I thought that they were all friends. Did something happen?

"No, I just wasn't expecting them." Shikamaru answers.

I can feel him shut down on the topic and drop it while we eat.


	6. Chapter 6: Separation and Girl Talk

**A/N: Hello! I have updated a lot today but I know I will be slowing down. But please comment and like this story if you are enjoying it. If you were a reader before and have a comment please message me. I rarely am without my computer. Please enjoy and read on!**

 **Chapter 6:** **Separation** **and Girl Talk**

"I'm still really sorry about last night Shikumaru," I say again as we walk to the bath house.

"Tooru, its fine. I understand you didn't know about them coming," Shikumaru looks at me, a little amusement is on his face.

I look at Shikumaru. After the group left we had a conversation about my past. Something that I haven't been able to in a long time; honestly I have not felt this awake in a long time. We talked about how wrong it was for Lord Third to put me in ANBU and Shikumaru understood me and how I hated that I didn't die in intel with his and Ino's father. That part of the conversation was a little heartbreaking to handle for both of us since his father was one of the few people that knew about me when I was younger.

Though, I didn't tell him about the punishments and how small some actions were that got me in trouble. While Lord Third was to lad back with Naruto he had an iron fist with me. Sometimes I wonder if our roles should have been switched. But knowing who Naruto is, it wouldn't have worked with him. Since I was in a position where I had to be treated like such, I think it worked out.

We also played shogi for a little while and currently are tied with wins. Shikumaru smiles at me, amused at how a ninja of my standing can be so sorry about things out of my control. I keep saying sorry, ever since he picked me up this morning. Something that I wasn't expecting for him. Form my knowledge he prefers to sleep and not do a lot. We walk to the bath house and no one is here yet.

Not knowing what else to say I said sorry. I really didn't know that Kakashi would do something like that.

Why do I care?

Maybe because Shikamaru got embarrassed by what happened. So I feel like I should say sorry to him about it.

We stand in front and wait for a little bit in silence; both of us knowing that we will get hell for last night. I look up at the clouds, becoming lost in thought. I am working with Shikumaru and actually tell him about my past; something only a few people know. I find it odd though. No one gets to know anything about me. Not only that; but have group of friends maybe, that one may be a long run though. Besides, I don't even think that they will ever see me as anyone more than someone who knows Shikamaru.

And I don't know if I'm allowed to be doing this. I only said because Kakashi gave me an order.

Than it hits me, I will be separated from Shikamaru and Kiba when in the bath house.

I have no idea how to talk to females my age either. No matter if they were war heroes or not. I don't think I can keep going like this.

"Ow! Sakura what was that for?" I hear Naruto yell.

"Because you're an idiot Naruto and you almost blew our cover last night!" Sakura says.

"Looks like it's about to be a drag Tooru," Shikumaru is looking at me, almost worried.

In the distance we see four people, two are Sakura and Naruto. The other two I assume are Saskue and Hinata. I look at Shikumaru, knowing that this can end so badly for all of us. This the first time I have actually met anyone that is my own age. Shikumaru knows what I am thinking and shakes his head. I open my mouth, about to plead with him but Naruto spots us first.

"Hey guys! Sorry Tooru for barging in like that but Kakashi said it would be fine." Naruto gives his dorky grin.

I panic and respond the way I was taught to reply to the future Hokage.

"It's fine. Lord Sixth has a weird sense of humor and I am sure he did not mean for you all to come to my house at that hour while he was unsure if anyone was around." I stand up a bow to him.

"Umm, Shikumaru what's up with this girl?" Naruto whispers.

I hear a hand bang into a head and know that Sakura wacked Naruto on the head. I raise my head and see Naruto on the ground holding his head while Lady Hinata giggles and Saskue smirks. I look over to Shikamaru confused about what is going on. Shikamaru is smirking as well.

But I don't know what is happening. Why is she hitting him? Did I do something wrong?

Shikumaru laughs, "Naruto this is Tooru; her and I are working on a mission together."

I turn my head, "The rest of them are here" I say directly at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru and the others look around and do not see them. I can feel their chakra coming into the area. And I can feel one is bouncing off the walls.

All of a sudden Lee is in front of me talking very fast, "I am here! Please forgive me Lady Tooru for rudely barging into your home without any permission! I swear I will never do it again and punished myself accordingly to the crime. I am sorry Lady Tooru. I understand-"

"Lee, it is okay," I interrupt him.

Lee looks at me with tears in his eyes and runs around. Something that I have heard he does. I become a little dizzy; I raise an eyebrow at Shikamaru. I turn to see Neji is looking down at the ground and Tenten is watching Lee with a little amusement in her eyes.

I take a step back away form Lee and Try to hide by Kiba. Kiba is looking around and takes Lee's attention. I know that I have to avoid him until I get use to the energy. I know Guy is like this too, I never knew how badly Lee took after him.

Tenten sighs, "Well, let's get this party rolling huh?"

We walk into the bathhouse and the girl's part ways with the guys. I try to maybe look into the group but I feel the block in my mind. I sigh as I get undressed and head into the bath. I want to just think about anything else. I do not really care about the fact that I am around other people. This is forced relaxation for me since Kakashi ordered it last night so Shikamaru could get use to me being a robot basically.

After a few moments of silence I step into the tube and submerge myself, hoping none of the others ask me too many questions about myself. I know I cannot answer them fully about my past or what my intentions are. I also know that my intentions reflect the Hokage's. I am just a person to help the Hokage reach the goals for the village.

I begin to think about this group of friends. They are the group that has ever gotten into the most trouble; even Kakashi's age group did not cause this much up roar in the village. Every few days something new is broken and that is not good for the villages financially. The Hokage has recently started to keep a builder in the village that only repairs the things that these kids make. Most of them are jonin therefore they should all know better.

Every one of them graduated from the academy and clearly cannot keep their tempers in line. At least Sakura can direct her anger onto Naruto even though he did save the village multiple times from being destroyed. But now they are all starting to pair off and maybe settle down from the crazy teenagers that they have been stuck as for such a long time; one can only hope for such a thing to happen.

"Hello?" I almost stand up in the tub since Hinata startled me since she spoke up so much for someone who has always been so quiet.

"I'm sorry Lady Hinata. What is the topic we are talking about?" I look around and notice all the girls are staring at me.

I settle back into the bath while I wait for one of them to reply to me. I should have been paying attention to what they are talking about. I have no idea what could be the topic. I kick myself. I don't know how to take to these girls.

"We were talking about our guys and we wanted to know if there are any guys you like that might be here." Sakura inquires.

"What do you mean?" I ask, generally confused.

"Well," Ino interjects, "I have Sai and we've been together only six months. Neji and Tenten have been together since the end of the Great Ninja War. Sakura and Saskue along with Naruto and Hinata have been together the shortest amount of time out off all of us."

"I crushed on Naruto for a long time though…" Hinata mumbles.

"Neji and I started just as friends. We never thought we would be together. And right not it's really nice to be with him." Tenten chimes in.

"There is also Kiba and Tamika now. Awe, it's like a forbidden love story. A cat and a dog falling in love. Doesn't that sound amazing," Ino sings.

I look at her confused. I have no idea where they are trying to go with this but so far I am not liking it. What is the point of having a crush on someone if you know there is a possibility that you can get hurt in a great way, never being able to tell them everything that you have on your mind. Besides, feeling are unknown and take up too much time. It makes a person unfocused and causes deaths.

They are all with someone, I remember Shikamaru talking about it at one point. Hinata and Naruto, Sakura and Saskue, Ino and Sai, and Tenten and Neji. All of them have paired up. But they were all crushing on each other before the war ended.

"Well, we know that Tamika and Kiba will stay together," Sakura states.

"I hope they do, this is the happiest I have seen him," Hinata mentions.

"What is the point of all this?" I finally ask.

All the girls looks at me and I sink into the water further. I may have just asked the wrong question.

"This is girl talk, haven't you ever had girl talk?" Sakura asks.

I shake my head. I found it pointless and Lord Third would not allow it. Is it like when Shikamaru and Kiba were talking when Kiba was asking Tamika out? I believe so… but I am unsure.

"Oh… we need to teach her!" Ino comments.

"I don't like that look in your eye…" I mutter.

"Lets start small," Hinata pleads.

Ino looks at her, "No we need to ask"

I look at all of them… very confused. Ask me about what? I see Tenten and Sakura look at me. The same look forming in their eyes. I sink a little further down in the tub. I really don't like where this is going.

"What do you and Shikamaru talk about?" Ino asks.

I tilt my head.

"What?" is all that comes out.

"We want to know why you and Shikamaru hang out so much!" Ino exclaims.

"We are working on a mission," I state.

I see all the girls look at each other. I watch as Tenten and Sakura shake their heads. I see Hinata slightly giggling, but its her nerves giggle. Ino looks impatient. I don't understand what they want. I can't tell them that Kakashi ordered me to be friends with Kiba and Shikamaru.

"We talk about the mission, I am catching him up to speed." I say.

"But when you're bored. Like running out of the mission talk," Ino coaxes.

"We sit in silence," I comment.

Sakura speaks up, "You sit in silence?! Seriously?"

I look at each of them. I still have no idea what they want out of me. I answered their questions. I don't know what the big deal is.

"I think what they are trying to ask, just not out right, is if you and Shikumaru could be a couple in the future." Tenten clarifies.

I sink into the water, I ponder this for a moment. I mean, no. Just no. I talk with hi to gain a friend. I know Kakashi would never allow for it. I also know that no way in hell would that rule ever be broken. I can't break it. Orders are orders for me. Nothing will change that fact. I have to obey what I am told.

I know my answer because it is the Hokage's wish, specifically the one who raised me whe I came back to the village.

I already know my answer, no there is no way, "As of right now no. We are simply working on a mission together and we both want to have a flawless mission."

"That is such a diplomatic answer. But you paused," Ino states, giggling a little bit.

"I was thinking," I retort.

"But you want him!" Sakura exclaims, grinning.

I go further into the water. I know I should stay but I really want to leave. And these girls are not helping my easy; I knew I would be too weird for them. They don't understand about how much I don't want a relationship, and even a friendship is too hard for me.

A relationship? No, I can't. No way would it be approved, I was told lord third would pair me off when the time was right, only he never got to it. I believe Lord Sixth will pair me off. And I know that day will come soon. Lord Third thought that a civilian would be a good match since I need to rebuild my clan again.

"What is the mission you and Shikumaru are working on Tooru?" Hinata asks, attempting to change the subject.

"It's top secret Lady Hinata, something I cannot say nor if I could I would for it would put you all in too much danger." I reply.

I look up and see a look of concern from their faces, I know that I should hint at it but I cannot. The rest of the afternoon was spent talking about the upcoming exams and what each person would be doing. I was the only one who would only watch the exams and not really do much. I might work security but other than that not a lot. And watching Kakashi is not that big of a deal. I almost want to tell them about the exams where Lord Third died but I cannot bring myself to tell them about it. I wish that I could, or even protect Lord Third from falling into that trap. But he had me focus on the teams and making sure that they were safe from harm.

Only, it makes it harder. Knowing that Orochimaru was coming with the Sand. It sucks that no one else got to know what was going on fully. I could only tell them certain things and try to warn them about what was going to happen. When Lord Third sent that spy, I know for a fact that he shouldn't have sent that person, he died for no reason. The exams tend to be a time where there is nothing I can do. I watch inside the arena to make sure everyone is okay and if I can prevent them from dying.

The girls keep talking about everything and sometimes I chime in. We have a few good laughs and I get to learn a lot about each one of them. Eventually we get out of the bath to get dressed. All the girls talk and giggle about things. Ino talks about Sai and how he keeps reading about everything that he should do in a relationship. Hinata tells us about how Naruto shows up to her house and gives her flowers and then Neji chases him away. They go around and tell these cute stories about their guys.

We said or goodbyes and Shikumaru walked me home, in silence. Only this silence felt weird and a little awkward. Maybe someone said something to him or we were both too in thought to really have a conversation. I shrug it off of my thoughts and keep walking. I walk to my door and say good night and go inside to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7: Confusing Heart

**A/N: Hello! Another chapter for your reading enjoyment! I hope you enjoy.**

 **Chapter 7: Confusing Heart**

The next day I am training and trying to make sure that I know what fighting style I should use in case I must fight. One can never be too ready. I just hope that I do not have to fight anyone. I hate fighting, I have since I was little, so I try to avoid it.

The Chunin exams. In the second stage, I could never forget the moment my teammate cut down the ninja from the Sand. How much blood there was and how he did it without a second thought.

I shake my head.

I look at the training post. I quickly pull out three stars and throw them at it. Each one hits the target and almost cuts through the wood. I did not even infuse chakra into the shuriken, yet my power is very strong.

Looking around I think about how I should maybe train, knowing that it is too hard to only train by myself. I decide the try chidori with sharingan. The one thousand chirping birds that can and will kill anyone in its part. I haven't tried this one in a very long time.

I take in a deep breath and begin the jutsu, I feel the power around me and the chirping begins. I lock my target and swiftly I move to the post, destroying it within nanoseconds of impact. I keep my arm through the hole that I made for a moment. I breath out, slightly frustrated.

I keep thinking about how Shikamaru seemed to be so awkward yesterday. What could have they guys said to him? Are they probably pulling us together? It was odd and I thought I did something wrong. Based on what the girls talked to me about, maybe the guys did the same thing. I know I felt weird talking about relationships, mostly because I should be arranged with someone else soon.

But when Kiba came over early this morning… it wasn't even a time to hang out. But he said he needed to talk to me. So I allowed him in. He asked me about the future, and I gave him the answer of wanting to protect the village. I learned a lot about Kiba. Kiba isn't so bad, he really does love Tamika. I think he said that she is coming into the village in a few days. And he is really excited to see her.

But, why am I worried so much about it? This is something that I should not care about. Though, he is the first person that I have actually had a conversation with; only we have only known each other almost a month and a half at this point. I sigh and release the sharingan.

I jump back from the post and look at the hole in it. It is choppy and has splinters coming from it. I look up at the clouds, there aren't that many. I sigh and sit down, looking at the scrolls I brought with me. What else can I try to train? I could try… no that only works with a partner. Most of these things only work with someone else around. I should see if Kakashi will let Tenzo train with me. That would require me to hold back though, just as bad as having no training partner at all.

If I am ever to have to fight against the group I would not know the full potential that some of the moves I have been working on. I close the scroll and seal put them back in my bag. I look up at the sky and try to think about the group but the group has not come back into my mind.

I lay down, why can't I think correctly? I knew having friends was a bad idea. I can't make any progress on the group and I am wondering what Kiba and Shikamaru talked about yesterday.

"Well, look who is being alone," the familiar lazy voice says bringing me out of my thoughts.

I look up to see Shikumaru looking through the hole in the post that I made. He seems shocked by it. He looks at me as though he has seen this kind of thing before. I only look at him. Wondering why he hasn't been scared off yet. So many people have, and Shikumaru should not be here. I haven't trained with another person in years, I stopped because they would either get badly injured or I had to fight at about 50% efficiency.

Doesn't matter. He shouldn't be here anyway. I need to focus and he won't help me with that.

"I'm trying to train here you know." I reply, a little ruder then I meant it.

"Did you do this?" Shikumaru points to the hole. I respond by nodding. "And you're training by yourself?"

"No one has ever wanted to train with me." I mumble.

"I'll train with you." Shikumaru states.

"And you aren't afraid of me? My powers and jutsu's are greater than Naruto's." I timidly mention.

Plus if I do fight him I know he will never want to speak to me again, which might be a good thing. This feeling that I have been getting around him is one I don't want to figure out. And with everyone talking I don't know what are mine and what are the thoughts they have implanted in my head.

Shikumaru shrugs, "No, I know that everyone should have a training partner and I need to try to improve some things with my jutsu. So why not train together."

I sigh. Getting up and signal for Shikumaru to attack me. I know I should not let him but hey he offered to be my training partner. If he gets hurt I guess that ends whatever is going on. I don't need the distraction of someone in my life. I need to be alone. I know I do not need anyone's help with this. I know that Shikamaru will only distract me when I am trying to figure anything out. This two day break is annoying when I could have made so much progress.

He begins his jutsu and I look at him with the sharingan putting him in a genjutsu. He looks around confused. He retracts his attack and tries to understand. I keep an even look across my face, I stop caring about what is going on through his head.

"What is this place?" He asks.

I look around to see a house. Nothing special about the house, one that a family can live in. There is a child running around, the kid looks like Shikumaru. Then Shikumaru walks out, yelling something. The words are lost to me, but they must mean something to Shikumaru. The kid stops, listening to him than runs inside almost hitting a woman. They begin to talk and after a moment they kiss and move inside.

I turn back to Shikumaru who looks shocked and hurt, "It's what you want most in the world Shikumaru," I sound so cold.

He snaps his attention to me, "But, why her? What's so special about… who is this woman?"

"Someone you know. Someone you care about." I state.

Slowly the ground shakes and I turn around to see his first fight against her in the Chuni exams, where only he passed and the village was destroyed. The fight unfolds as Shikumaru shows how he uses his ability to trap her and how close he was to winning the fight. The points where he tries to flirt with her are highlighted and when she does it back make his heart skip a beat. How he was hurt to learn that she was actually fighting to destroy the village and his reason why she would never like him. It melts away to when they were planning the joint exams. How he tried to do everything for her and show how he felt for her. The growth and development of his love for her.

"You fell in love over years, your feelings were hidden though." I mutter.

"It was… never going to happen." Shikumaru's voice cracks and I turn to him.

He is crying, I know he is heartbroken about her. He talked about it a few more times. But I know if I let him cry more things will only get worse in this.

I walk over to him, "Don't cry, it will chan-"

I never finish, the ground shakes violently and changes to a shadow figure and her. The man is attacking and trying to get the upper hand against her, only she is sitting back. It flashes to them talking about everything while laying down in the grass. Doing things that Shikamaru and her did, but what Shikamaru wanted more of. How the pain and regret of never being able to train with her was killing him, that it should have been him kissing her, not someone else.

I break it, something I never done before. Shikumaru is sitting with his head down crying still.

"What… what was that Tooru?" He asks with a shaky voice.

"It was a jutsu that puts you in your head and shows you what you want the most in life, weather you know it or not. Normally you would live there in the body you want, only you are now confused about what you want." I explain.

"Why would I be confused? I still love her…" Shikumaru mumbles.

"I can't answer that for you." I state simply, maybe just assuming.

"I've wanted her and she doesn't feel the same way about me, why couldn't I live in the world you put up?" Shikamaru asks.

"Again Shikamaru I don't know…" I trail off.

There is a silence, Shikumaru begins to cry more. I bring him in and hold him. He turns into me and lets me hold him. I can feel more pain from him than he wants me to know. Right now all he needs is to know someone wants to help him. After a moment he gets up and runs off.

I look after him and get up to go home.

Maybe to think about plans that need to be made. That has to come first, I know he will meet me but only talk for a little bit then leave, like everyone else. For some reason that breaks my heart a little bit.


	8. Chapter 8: Planning and Sleeping

**A/N: Here is another part of the story! I hope I can update a few times today. Please follow and comment on the story!**

 **Chapter 8: Planning and Sleeping**

The next day we are sitting under a tree, discussing strategy.

We do not talk about the bath house a few days ago or the training yesterday but talk about the mission. Though everything seemed awkward and hard for me to understand. But I don't want to try to understand. I don't know what I am thinking, getting involved with a group of friends that have been together for a long time, that seems pointless.

I know this is a drag, I cannot stand this; this feeling that is inside of me. I know everything is going to suck about this mission. We need to focus instead of things going on around us. I know I cannot afford to be distracted by these feeling because I know that I mean nothing to Shikamaru, just like everyone else.

I stopped getting my hopes up about people actually caring about me. This is one of the first times we are looking into the group, and so far we have gotten nowhere with anything. Just as I thought. We have only been arguing about the information. Anything that could be said about the issue has been brought up. We don't agree on anything.

Shikamaru thinks that the motivations are to try to build a new village to take out the old ones. Since the people they are looking into have more than likely been treated poorly. But there is no proof that the group wants to do that. I mean, why would they? There isn't a place for a new village to be going into. That cannot be the case.

We also are arguing about where they can all be from. Which is also going no where.

"I don't think that's their motive though," I counter Shikumaru who looks more tired than normal, "If you look at their meeting patterns they a spratic; meaning they have to be from villages. And they have to be powerful at that."

"I'm not saying they aren't. They have to have a different motive, if only we could figure out which one. To do that we need to know more things," Shikumaru states, almost coldly.

"But we know their meeting patterns." I counter.

"Tooru, there's more to this than their meeting patterns, like why and when." Shikamaru answers.

"I've told you everything I already know Shikumaru" I retort.

Shikumaru sighs, "Well maybe we can assume a few things."

I shake my head.

He seems more argumentative than usual. His usual light and teasing tone is gone and replaced with a bitter taste for words. Maybe from what he saw yesterday and other things that have happened over the last few days. No, maybe he is hurting from Temari, I still don't know why he told me anything about her. I know he loves her and I don't really want anything to do with people. She doesn't even want him.

I glance up at the clouds and look back over at him.

I snicker and look away from him.

I don't understand why he is still so infatuated with her, she hurt him. I don't know the full story but I know things from how he acted yesterday about her. I look back over and see Shikamaru with a heavy face, almost about to fall asleep.

He lays down and yawns "Lets take a break, we've been at this for hours."

I look at him. How can he sleep at a time like this? We need to be figuring out plans. We need to be using this time to our advantage. Not taking a nap.

Shikamaru closes his eyes.

This is going to be harder than I thought. I can go forever thinking about this group. I have even done that.

But he isn't trained to do these things. I am trained to do these types of things. I know that I should go easy, but we need to get ahead. This is why Kakashi put him on the project.

I sigh.

Maybe I should go for a little break. That might be the best thing to do.

He is right though, we have been at this for hours. Which is way longer than I thought that we would be working on the group though; plus I was up late trying to clean and set up for anything.

Also thinking about why he saw shadow man and a shadow woman. It just doesn't sit right with me. Shikamaru is really worried about something. I just don't get it. Is he in love with this woman? I feel a memory tugging at me but I cannot pull it out right now. It has something to do with before I became so robotic. I close my eyes to sleep. Hoping that he might just need sleep.

 **XX**

When I wake up I feel Shikumaru jump. I put up a bubble automatically when I do sleep and I can tell the smallest movements of someone. It's a jutsu that I copied a long time ago that doesn't require a lot of chakra. I look around and see a person chest in my face. I roll away and I look up to see Naruto and Hinata looking down at us.

"Sorry didn't mean to scare you," Hinata says, with a small grin on her face.

"Hey, you're that girl… from the bathhouse, right Hinata?" Naruto turns to Hinata.

Hinata nods, "Yes. The girls would love for you to come and have a drink with us sometime."

"No." I say.

Shikamaru looks at me, "Why? Seems like you had fun last time. And Ino won't shut up about wanting to hang out with you again."

"I can't, Shikamaru you know that." I answer.

"Look," Naruto starts, "It was just a question if things clear up than maybe we can all hang out again."

"Did we do something to offend you?" Hinata asks.

This is pointless. Shikamaru and I have already wasted enough time by sleeping. I don't even know how long we were out for, but I don't think it was a good idea that we were even asleep. We need to fix this and keep working before Lord Sixth finds out about what has happened.

"No," I say again.

Shikamaru looks and me and I look at him. I see Naruto and Hinata are… I don't know what that look is. I don't say anything to them though.

"Its fine Hinata, we need to get back to work anyway on this," Shikumaru looks at me and I nod.

Naruto and Hinata say good-bye as Shikumaru and I discuss the plans.

"So the group has to be planning to steal people, or maybe getting a village started," I begin

"Tooru no, that cannot be it," Shikumaru yawns as he says it.

"Shikumaru, there is nothing else that we can do. They make sure to keep the information to a minimum, as though they talked about everything beforehand. There is no way unless we assume a few things and that would not be a good thing," I say.

We go back and forth, staying at a standstill with the group. Both of us are too determined about what the group could be planning. I feel like we are repeating things and getting nowhere. Everything I say he has a reason why it cannot be, but everything he says are things I have already thrown out from the possible things that could be happening.

Eventually Shikamaru gets so frustrated that he gets up and walks away. I lay back down and place my bubble. I don't need any more distractions from now on. That's what I feel like Shikamaru is doing at the moment.

I am upset and mad that Shikamaru is allowing his feelings for some girl who left him get in the way of a mission that requires careful planning. A mission should always come first and not the feelings of being hurt.


	9. Chapter 9: Care About it on Your Own

**Chapter 9: Care About it on Your Own**

A few days later I am at the market shopping for breakfast for myself.

Tenzo has gone out on a mission with Saskue and Lee. A lot of the people are out on missions. But I don't think the rest of the group is out on missions. Shino and Hinata might be out, but I am not sure on that one. Since the war, missions have become less and less. A lot of missions have become rebuilding the world, and ninja's aren't forcing others out of missions. Tenzo is usually watching Orochimaru and his replacements come so he can change cloths.

I look at fruits and pick bananas. I turn to pay the women behind the stand, getting ready to leave I see something that catches my eye.

It's a kunai that Lord Fourth would have used when he was alive. I look at it for a few moments and figure it is for Naruto to teleport around when he needs to, just like the stories about lord fourth. Lord Fourth would have been proud, from what I have heard about him from Lord Third.

It truly is amazing that Naruto has improved so much since he first started out. I know that he will be the Hokage, no one can really argue with anyone. By this point it is common knowledge. And eventually he will start watching over what I do. Kakashi is already messing with orders and making things harder for me to focus. Lord Third would have never allowed it. But I know Naruto won't let me live by myself, even if I am a tool for the village to use. No one should know about me.

I look around notice how many people around out. Right now missions are pretty easy and require maybe a squad. Though there are still a lot of threats to the world many bandits and rouges still happen, therefore civilians still need protection. Which is what most people do now, which sounds boring compared to before the war.

"Hey!" I hear someone yell behind me. I turn to see Sai and Neji walking up to me.

"Hello." I reply.

"Lady Tooru correct?" Neji politely tries to remember.

I nod. I have no idea what is going on. Normally people don't run up to me and say hi, usually only Tenzo does that.

"That is correct Lord Neji," I turn to Sai, "Lord Sai, how are you?"

"We wanted to know if you would like to hang out," Sai explains.

I am taken aback by Sai and Neji. Since when does anyone ask me to hang out with them? I look back and forth between them, thinking that they might be kidding. I mean this has to be a joke right? There is no way that someone would want to hang out with me just because I am working with one of their friends.

But I don't even know if I should be hanging around them. Kakashi made it very clear that I should only be friends with Kiba and Shikamaru, no one else. I have orders and this is not in my orders to be hanging around anyone else. I should go and talk with Kakashi about this after they leave.

I don't like the fact that I am being found at the market so often.

I don't even know what to think. When I see they are not going to leave; I nod.

"Well, lead the way," Neji says after a pause.

"To where?" I ask, unsure about what they want to do.

"We should drop your things off correct?" Sai interjects.

I look down at my food and remember that I came to get food. I begin to walk with either of them on a side of me. Which I find strange. I feel like I am being closed in. I have no idea why this is happening.

We walk in silence for a few blocks, I don't know why they want to talk to me but I have a sinking feeling about it. But I usually have a bad feeling about everything, which helps me stay alert in most situations. But I don't think it will help here.

I remember that time I was at the park with Lord Third and Kakashi, they made sure I was the only one at the park while they discussed what to do with me. That was one of the first times I felt so alone. But then Choji and Shikamaru showed up with Shikamaru's father; as Lord Third grabs me to go. Only Kakashi stopped him and made Lord Third allowed Choji, Shikamaru and I play together. Only, it ended with me running to Kakashi scared and him taking me home. I glanced back to see Shikamaru and Choji wanting to play with me. It was shortly after Itachi had left the village.

I don't know why I am remembering this, but the feeling of being lonely comes back to me. The feeling of being alone is awful. I guess walking between the two is making me remember this. How I always had people watching me and making sure that everything is okay. Or just keeping everyone away from me.

"Well, Tooru, have you been well?" Sai asks bringing me out of the memory.

"Yes, very well. How are you Sai?" I need to be civil to the and not panic like the time at the park.

This is something that I need to be okay about. I will not be able to charm my way out, not like I have any charm at all. I feel the panic rising, something that has not happened since the day at the park. Emotions no longer come easy to me. Yet, why am I feeling this now? I shouldn't be acting like this. For all I know I am walking into a trap.

I take a deep breath as Sai continues.

"Well, Ino is freaking out but she's so cute when she does," Sai gets a grin on his face, showing he does really care for Ino.

"What is Ino freaking out about this time Sai?" Neji speaks up.

"You know how we were at the bath house a few days ago?" Neji nods, "well something that the girls were talking about scared her. Only I am having to stay quiet about it since that is what my book say to do when you are in a relationship past six months."

I begin to giggle. Sai doesn't remember but I trained with he while he was in the foundation. Well, more of me sneaking into the foundation and him coming after me. Watching him now is funny, with all his books and trying to understand emotions are great.

Even though, I have no room to talk since I have no clue how to handle any emotions at all. Although I know what he is talking about, my mission. I guess it spooked the girls more than I thought. Which would mean that if this spreads, Kakashi won't be happy about this at all, which could mean punishment.

"Well, Tooru?" Neji is looking at me.

I tilt my head, confused. I got lost in thought again.

"Why did you giggle?" Sai looks a little hurt.

"I'm sorry Sai, I thought of something funny that someone once said to me." I reply.

Both guys look at each other, maybe a little confused about what is happening. I know I should maybe explain it more. But that would go against orders about keeping it out of sight. I cannot tell what would happen to me. Kakashi would be upset since peace would be destroyed that took so long to achieve.

I continue walking until I get to my door. Unlocking it I head inside and know that all of them, except Shikamaru, are sitting and waiting for me. I know I should have ignored them. They set me up. I don't have time for this.

I turn to Sai and Neji, "What is this?"

Neji sighs, "We need to ask you a few questions."

He pushes me to the living room and I see Naruto and Sakura standing up, while everyone else is sitting down. I look around I can feel myself becoming overwhelmed. Why are they all here?

Did I do something wrong? Is this because of…

I shake my head.

No, I need to focus. This could be important. I wait.

"What do you guys need to talk to me about?" I ask, addressing the whole group.

Ino stands up, a look of concern and as though she does not want to talk about what wrong. I see that Kiba is worried, more than normal. I don't know what is going on. I look at Naruto, he just stares at me.

I can feel a lot of… tension in the air. I don't understand why they are here. I swallow hard. I don't want to panic, I am scared about a lot of things.

"Tooru, do you know what's going on with Shikumaru?" Ino finally asks.

I snap my attention to her, "I can only assume and I hate assuming."

"I know," Kiba says from his seat, "He keeps isolating himself and not talking to us."

There is a moment, that's when it all becomes clear. Shikamaru doesn't know what to do. He saw something that he didn't want to see, or that he should have seen. The shadow figures, they… Shikamaru had a tie to the two of them. I don't know what it was though.

And training the other day together didn't help him at all. I should have broken the fight off earlier. I wanted to know, I don't get to fight that often.

"It's because he is scared," I mumble.

Everyone looks at me. I know that they won't understand, I know because I watched it. Normally, the person is inside, but this one, Shikamaru was placed outside. That is because he does not know what he wants, not fully.

"What do you mean?" Sakura swallows, maybe worried.

"There are a lot of factors playing into it," I state.

Factors of the mission. The mission that could make or break the village if we act fast enough. Something I am worried that I have slowed down in.

"Is it about the mission?" Naruto asks.

"Maybe that's part of it, but there might be other things." I look down at the ground, becoming lost in thought.

Would Shikamaru really do this? I mean, the shadow figure, who could that have been. I have been thinking about it, but I haven't been able to figure it out. I don't know enough about other people. I recognize people by their face, not by the outline of them. Shikamaru is isolating himself for a reason.

Do they have a right to invade that though?

Maybe. They are _his_ friends after all. But… am I also his friends? I don't know.

The figure though. It looks like something he wouldn't want to tell anyone else. The fact that I forced it out of him. And Shikamaru's reaction. He cried. He broke down, something that a ninja should never do. It was a sparring match, and I went too far.

There are too many things to know what caused Shikamaru to act this way.

Naruto comes up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder, "Do you know what these other things are?" I nod my head, "And you won't tell us will you?" I shake my head.

"Why the hell not!" Tenten explodes, "He's our friend. We were all there when he was the only one who became a chunin. We have always been there, like when his father died and Ino's father. What makes you so special that you magically know what he is feeling and know how to maybe fix it? Why won't he talk to us? Only-"

"Stop," I whisper making Tenten stop, "I only know because I watch people and we have to spend time together because of the mission. Therefore we end up talking when we cannot think up anything else to help us with the mission."

There is a long pause. I look at Tenten. I can see she is upset.

"I don't know the cause though." I answer.

"But why you?" Tenten growls.

I hold up my hands, "I have no idea alright? I was there. That's all. This was…"

I never finish. I trail off.

This was a mistake. I shouldn't have done this. I should have asked Kakashi more question, why is this happening. I thought that I could handle it, that they wouldn't even know who I was.

I was wrong.

Here they are in my house, upset at me for something I don't know how to fix.

"So then, are you going to try to help him?" Neji inquires after a moment.

I shake my head, "Right now he needs to be alone, tomorrow we are meeting up. Maybe I'll talk to him than."

I finally look up, everyone is glancing between each other and wondering if it is the right thing to do. They have never had to deal with this before; and I know that they are all worried for Shikamaru. They have known him for a long time. While I have not.

Personally, I actually feel worried about Shikamaru, but that does not matter. All that matters is that he can look at our mission clearly. If he cannot do that then I will have to ask Kakashi to allow someone else to come in and help me with everything going on.

Ino looks at me, "We don't think we should leave him alone."

"He needs us right now," Naruto finally speaking up.

"Therefore we are going to talk to him," Neji gets up from his spot.

"Don't." I basically command.

"Why should we listen to you Tooru?" Sakura is angry.

I look at all of them. I don't know. I just said something. I should have just let them go to. Why am I saying anything?

"Would you want a huge group of people coming at you asking you if you're okay?" I ask, there is a pause about the group, "Exactly, he will become overwhelmed and therefore lash out on every on more than he is now. Let him cool off and in a few days then talk to him."

They look around at each other, not knowing what to do. I look at each of them. If they decide to talk to Shikamaru than it will end badly. I hope that they do not talk to him, then we can actually maybe get a good amount of time before any one should talk to him. Until then it will only be talking about what happens on the mission.

"No we need to speak with him," Ino states.

I look down. I shouldn't be arguing with them! I have other things that I need to worry about, not about Shikamaru and these guys feeling. No way should this be happening.

"But we want to talk to him about what the hell is going on with him." Neji states.

Neji turns around.

They all turn and walk out. Sakura giving me a look. Naruto looks at me with soft eyes. I don't see the rest. I turn away from them. I don't want to be dealing with this right now.

I watch as Choji is about to leave but turns back around and comes back in.

"Tooru, can I talk to you, just us?" Choji asks.

I motion for a chair for him to sit down. I don't know what he wants to talk to me about, but it most be something if he isn't talking to one of the others about it. In fact, he didn't talk the whole time.

I don't want them mad at me, but maybe I should just listen.

"I've known Shikamaru since we were kids. And I know he doesn't do this kind of thing. I was wondering if you know what really was going on…" Choji trails off.

Should I tell him?

What the heck is Shikamaru's problem? Why is he hanging on this person so hard? I want to help him only it is not my place. All I can do is try to get through this mission without Shikamaru exploding on me. I have no idea where to start.

If I tell Choji, would he even be able to help Shikamaru out? Would Shikamaru react the same way, just run away form him.

The shadow person though. I don't know who they are. If I knew that might help the situation that we are in now.

Maybe I should.

"Shikamaru and I trained the other day, and something happened." I mumble.

"What happened?" Choji questions.

I take in a shaky breath, "Well… Shikamaru got caught under a genjutsu that I placed on him. And what happened ended really badly, even if it was just training."

"What was it about? I need to know, please he won't even talk to me about it." Choji pleads.

"It was what he wants most in life, and I don't even know if he told you what he wants the most out of life…" I trial off.

Choji leans back and thinks about this. He looks at me. But I think he already knew what Shikamaru wanted from life the most. Choji knows things about Shikamaru.

Do I want to know?

I mentally shake my head. No, he is only helping you with this mission. Nothing else.

"Temari." Choji states.

I simply nod my head. Shikamaru wants Temari in his life, more than a friend at that.

Temari.

Shikamaru saw Temari. But that doesn't explain what else he saw. Of the other shadow. But I don't even know if Choji would know about that. But… ugh.

Why is this so hard?

"That's why he's so hurt." Choji says.

"Yes. He wants a family with her and to settle down. I saw all the flirtation he tried and never succeed at." I tell him.

"I see." Choji pauses, "Shikamaru didn't tell anyone else. And I can guess that Temari knows how he feels?"

I nod. I believe so, but I don't know if she feels the same way about him. Or if she does she is scared to tell anyone else that she has feelings for Shikamaru. Which isn't good for either of them. They should talk about this together.

Although, there is a lot I don't know. Maybe he has talked to her about it already. Maybe he doesn't want to bring it up with her again.

That still doesn't explain why he was outside of the dream. He should have been in it. Experiencing it as it was happening. He wasn't. Which is why it's so confusing to me to figure out. Shikamaru is confusing. All the signs point to him having a thing for Temari. So why wasn't he in the dream?

"That makes things… well, lets just that things are harder. Temari has feelings for someone but I don't know what else is going on. I mean Shikamaru has talked to me about you…" Choji stops, "But I can't tell you."

"Why not?" I ask.

"He asked me not to talk to you about it. He… he is working things out at the moment." Choji says.

Working things out? I don't know what that means. Is Shikamaru doing this to sort everything out? That seems really inefficient. I don't like how he is working on this, it is hindering the project.

"I believe that it can be worked on better, but I guess I should just let him bee." I state.

I know that I am letting myself go into a robotic state. I shouldn't care. This is his problem, not mine. I look down at the ground, not wanting to make anything worse.

Choji say thank you and leaves. Leaving me alone.

I still think Shikamaru and Temari should talk. If Shikamaru has feelings for Temari they should be able to work it out. That should be the option for both of them. Shikamaru needs to work this out and needs to talk to Temari about it.

I shake my head. This is a matter that does not concern me. I was only talking to them because they asked me. Shikamaru needs to sort out what is happening and get his head in the game. The group needs to be handled and Shikamaru is going to help me, I need him to help me.

I get up and head out the door. I need to talk with Kakashi. I have no one else to talk to about this.

I head to the office and knock.

"Come in," is all I hear.

I walk in and see Sakura and Ino in the room. They both look at me. I turn my focus to Kakashi. I need to talk to him, not them. Kakashi and I lock eyes.

"Tooru wait there for one minute." Kakashi turns his focus back to the girls.

"Wait? Why does she get to stay?" Sakura asks.

"I believe this is good for her to hear as well. It affects a mission she is working on, and a new order that will be given by me." Kakashi states.

I keeps my expression even. Kakashi… giving me new orders? Why would he do this. In all this time he barely has given me an order to follow.

"Go on," Kakashi tells them.

"He hasn't acted this way, he started when he began working on this mission," Ino says.

"And as a medical ninja I believe he needs to take a break," Sakura continues.

Kakashi nods, "Sadly, I cannot do that. You have been having too many easy missions. Shikamaru is specialized in this thing."

"But" Sakura begins.

"No," Kakashi cuts her off, "This is something that must happen."

Both girls look at each other than look back at me. I keep looking forward. I don't have time for this.

But they are here about Shikamaru. Aren't I here for the same thing?

"You are dismissed Sakura and Ino," Kakashi says.

They leave and I close the door after them. I look down and away from Kakashi. I don't want to be here now. I shouldn't even be worrying about something like this.

"Tooru, look at me," Kakashi says.

I raise my head and look at Kakashi.

"Speak," Kakashi commands.

"I was worried about Shikamaru…" I begin.

Kakashi slams his hand on the table. I keep a straight face. I know that I need to not show fear. But… I don't know. Something is off about me.

"Again with Shikamaru?! Leave Shikamaru alone. Let him work on it by himself." Kakashi raises his voice.

I nod.

That is an order. No hanging out with Shikamaru, everything has to be professional.

Kakashi sits back down, and I can feel the want to say something but I can't. Once he said to leave Shikamaru alone I must leave him alone. Even if I had something I was worried about I can no longer voice it.

"Understood," I say.

I bow and leave the room. I walk home and decide that working on the plan is the best option.


	10. Chapter 10: Figure it Out

**A/N: Here is a new chapter! Sorry I haven't been updating a whole lot this past week. I will try to update.**

 **Chapter 10: Figure it Out**

A few days later I get up and go into the kitchen. It's been days, and Kakashi hasn't retreated his order. Though I have not seen him. Shikamaru left a note saying he needed a few days, and I was told to leave him alone. Orders are orders. Nothing can change that. Shikamaru said that today or tomorrow will be a good time. I kept working though on my own.

I know that I need to start having protection if I have to run away from them. And I know how to. I figured that smoke screens should be good protection for me. Even those with good noses won't find me. It is something that Lord Third taught me.

After making breakfast I go back into the market to get things for the smoke screen. I walk around and look at specialty shops for what I need for my journey. I begin to look at the shades of smoke types and debate about what one I should use to mix with the scent neutralizer that I have in mind. Maybe a darker one, my normal mission wardrobe is pretty dark so I can vanish within shadows and the darkness. That would be best, especially if I have a tracker following me, putting my scent all over the place would help me a lot, especially with the low chakra out put that I have.

"Oh, nice choice!" The shopkeeper comes up behind me.

"It will work with what I have in mind. Do you happen to have any skunk scent neutralizer in your shop?" I ask.

"Hmm, let me check in the back," He goes to the back to maybe find one of them.

I continue to look at the smoke screens.

I should make sure I make it back to my house before the planning meeting. Shikamaru finally wants to meet with me about the group. I should be able to catch him up with what he has missed over the last few days, which still means that Shikamaru is behind in planning. Go over plans, just to find holes and to be sure everything should go smoothly. This will help.

I pick up the dark smoke screen and move on to adhesive to bind the two things. A weaker one so they can clear in different ways causing a disillusion of which way I might have gone. That might be the best option for me right now. But the shop keeper is giving off a weird vibe. Maybe I should keep a closer eye on him like the fish person from a few weeks ago.

I am a jumpy person I guess. But hey, you never can be too safe right?

"Well, you are in luck. I have a few in stock, here are about three," the shopkeeper says behind me again.

"Thank you," I reply and pay for everything to leave.

I walk down the market street and see people talking about small things. I can see that everybody has had a good day so far.

I catch a few lines of conversation.

 _I wish there was more to do_

 _I just found the best gift!_

 _I heard he won't talk to anyone._

 _Thank you for the fruit!_

 _No Shikamaru would never ignore them._

 _I heard he asked someone out on a date!_

 _Who?_

 _Shikamaru!_

I pause to listen to this conversation.

"No way. Who did he ask out?" A woman asks.

"The girl that deals with the records for ninja." The other replies.

I walk away. So that's why he isn't coming to meetings.

Right now, everything is jumbled up. I am still worried about Shikumaru, and I need to maybe ask him what's wrong with him. No, I shouldn't. It is not my place to ask, we are only comrades for this mission. The only reason he knows everything is because of lord sixth.

An ANBU member appears in front of me.

"Lord Sixth wishes to see you now." They say before vanishing.

I turn around and head to Kakashi. I let my mind go blank so I can focus.

I feel like a robot again.

I can feel myself slipping into the dark hole again. Should I go back into the hole again?

I open the door to Kakashi's office. I bow to him.

"Tooru," Kakashi begins, "I gave you an order by accident."

"I believe you had cause for it." I answer.

Kakashi pitches the bridge of his nose. I know that he is frustrated by this. I think everything with Shikamaru was blown up too much. I can see that now. Everything that has happened over the last few weeks should have never happened, this much is true. I see that I am unfit to be a part of anyone's lives because of the way I have been acting around others.

"I have an order for you," Kakashi states.

I stand still, how I must always stand when receiving orders from the Hokage.

"Figure out what is going on with Shikamaru." Kakashi commands.

"Yes I will." I answer.

"Also," Kakashi begins, "I want you to become friends with Shikamru's friends."

I nod. I leave the office.

I can care. But I know I shouldn't. I think Shikamaru has it figured out. From talk around the Market earlier. Besides, I think he has a date with that weird girl in the records today before our planning meeting.

This all shouldn't matter.

As the person that I am, I don't care about these things. I only should care about the protection of the village. That is what I am trained to do.

I'll let the others worry about it. It shouldn't be my place. Besides, they are right. I barely meet him, they should know more about him than me. Only Choji seems to know way more about Shikamaru than anyone.

I sigh and turn into the yard of my house.

I open the door to my house and feel as though someone is here. I examine the shoes and know that they are not Tenzo's shoes, but someone else.

I silently go through the house and try to see who is in my house. I go into the living room and see no one is in there but there is a foot print in the light layer of dust I placed. I cannot tell who's foot is it. Slowly I walk over to the kitchen and turn the corner to see a shadow.

I crouch down and enter, I don't think that they noticed me yet. I need to get them out of my house or at the very least figure out who they are. I get down and make my chakra output as small as I can. I spring up and jump in their back.

"Tooru stop!" The person says.

I jump off to see that it's Shikumaru. "What the hell Shikumaru! How did you even get in to the house?"

"The front door was unlocked and you said to just come in. Where were you at?" Shikumaru seems anxious.

I don't understand why he is here though, "I heard you had a date today with someone, that's why I wasn't here."

Shikamaru looks shocked by this. I know that people talk but normally they don't talk about the ninja in the village.

Shikamaru shakes his head, "I cancelled on her, and something didn't feel right about the date. But you didn't answer my question of where were you?"

I tilt my head in confusion. Why would anyone even want to date? Arrange marriages seem so much better and less troublesome. The fact the Shikamaru is even willing to go on dates with people bugs me to no end since there is really nothing good to come out of it. Shikamaru is looking around like something might pop out at him any second. I sigh.

I look at him concerned, "I was getting a few things as a precaution for my mission in about a week. Than Kakashi wished to speak with me. I thought we agreed later on tonight since you were busy with other arrangements."

"I guess I was a little early. Can we start now though?" he asks.

I nod and lead him into the living room.

I am annoyed with him though. Why they hell would he even think about coming into my house and waiting for me instead of the steps? Maybe having emotions is more troublesome than I thought. I want to just focus on the mission and go back to being alone with everything that is going on.

We sit down and don't talk for a few minutes. I don't understand any of this, but then again, do I really want to understand what is going on? Relationships are a small thing in my life and even now they are not at the top of my list. Relationship should never be at the top of my list.

I avoid eye contact as I begin to make my smoke screen. I have to tie them together with an adhesive so that way I can get away.

"What is that for?" Shikumaru breaks the silence and I look up to see him looking at me, as though he had been for a long time.

"It's a smoke screen so when I go to spy I can get away should something go wrong. It's only a precaution." I explain, maybe colder than I thought.

"What makes you think something will happen?" Shikumaru seems worried.

"It's always like this Shikumaru," I say.

Shikumaru only looks at me, he almost looks like a puppy dog begging someone to not leave. I sigh and go back to working on the smoke screen. I don't have time to be babysitting some heartbroken person in the village. I expected a ninja of his standing to be able to separate his feeling for people long enough to work on a mission that could bring the world back into a war.

He finally opens his mouth, "Should we go through different situations to see how you might reply?"

"You and I both know that we cannot come up with each and every situation I could face." I reply, a little uneasy.

"Oh, ya. I can help you make the smoke screen," Shikumaru seems embarrassed by it.

I am getting frustrated by Shikamaru. I know he is a good person to look at a situation but he knows better. Many people can come up with a few strategies in combat but Shikamaru can come up with up to 200 moves ahead and change that in a heartbeat if something changes. That is why Kakashi put him on this mission with me, I need another point of view. So far Shikamaru had not been helpful in anything that we have tried to do.

Shikamaru is looking at the mission and doesn't seem to have it on top of important things. I need someone who will put everything aside to focus on the mission.

Maybe helping me make these will help him focus. Than we can really begin to plan.

"If you want to. It's mostly just getting them to bond weakly so they will go in different directions if I have to run away from them." I state.

"Well, are you going to set them up or keep them on your person?" Shikumaru asks.

"I will set them up from ways that I know I can run from. I have scouted the area many times and know it like the back of my hand." I say, a little confused.

For a moment I only look at Shikumaru, he and I keep eye contact for a little while. I can feel myself blushing since I feel he is more concerned about me than before. I look down at the smoke screen to see that it's not done yet.

I begin to work on it again.

I cannot allow anything to happen between the two of us. Right now he is in way over his head. There I no way that this emotion filled ninja can be as great as the stories say he is. I sigh again and refocus on the work at hand. My mind goes blank as I work. Shikumaru and I sit in silence for a few good hours.

But I would have thought that Shikamaru would have begun the conversation about the group. I learned that I shouldn't push him.

Lord Sixth's word ring in my head.

'Figure out what's wrong with Shikamaru.'

Shikamaru must be someone important to be having the Hokage worrying about him. Either that or since Shikamaru is the lead strategist in the village he has a large role. That means that Lord Sixth is looking out for the village. Shikamaru has been talked to become the next adviser of Naruto when Naruto becomes the next Hokage.

I finish the smoke screens by then and my belly growls.

"Sounds like someone is hungry," Shikumaru sounds like he has a smile on his face.

I look at Shikamaru. I see that he is smiling. I know that he thinks it is funny, but I need to finish working on these things.

"What of it?" I ask.

This mission and getting ready for this mission is important. I am use to not eating and getting everything ready first. Food is a reward for me when I finish a task fully. So far all Shikamaru and I have done is work on smoke bombs.

"Let's eat something," he gets up and walks to the kitchen.

I get up and follow him. He moves around the kitchen as though he also lives in the house. I watch him.

I have to remember that Shikamaru isn't trained like I am. I am someone who is trained to work without a break. I know this is something that he needs to do.

I help him make dinner. We silently make dinner, only the silence is a mix of the old and the awkward one that's become new. But that silence only comes after we run into each other or we are close to each other.

We also eat in silence, not a lot was to be said. I am okay with the silence.

Maybe I should be a little more relaxed with Shikamaru, I mean he knows everything about me but I know next to nothing about him. Well, as much as I am willing to tell him. I don't know if I should tell him about the times I have gotten in trouble with lord third.

That is the bad thing. Besides, it's not like I can work with someone I don't understand. Some of his reasons are so weird to me that I need to know what is going on through that head of his.

"What should we do now?" I ask after we clean up.

"We can talk, play shogi or exhaust the topic of the copy group," Shikumaru gives a playful grin.

I pause for a moment, "Let's talk. I want to understand you better."

"Fine, ask me anything," he replies, maybe a hint of surprise in his voice.

There is one thing that keeps bugging me. I need to know why he is acting the way he is. I may not understand it.

And Lord Sixth wants me to find out. I have to know what is going on with Shikamaru. I will find out.

"What happened the other day?" I can't just ignore it anymore.

I have to ask him. It is inhibiting his ability to think straight and it has been driving me crazy. The fact that one day he can be excited about having a date with someone to going around moping about someone form a different village who doesn't seem to into anyone on the village. Always distracted by the clouds and any messages that come from her village.

Shikumaru steps away from me, shocked by what I just asked. He looks at me and sighs, "It's a long story Tooru."

"We have time," I counter.

He sits down and looks at his hands for a moment, "Well, this is about a girl named Temari. I think you've heard of her. I've known Temari for a while. You knew that already. So when I first stopped a fight from breaking out is when I first felt something for her. I thought it was just because I was lonely and I knew I did not have anything with any girl in the village. Well, maybe one but I don't know what happened to her, or I don't maybe want to know. But that is beside the point that I am making here Tooru. So that connection stayed the whole time she was in the village and I would see her around. So when I got to fight her I felt weird, and that's when I knew that I could not shake it. I didn't know if it was mutual but it was there. So after the Leaf worked things out with the Sand we started to talk whenever she came to the village. The chunin exams stopped for a while and we got to plan the first one when Lady Fifth wanted to restart them. She knew I had feelings for her, but she didn't tell me to stop or that she didn't feel the same way. So I thought the feeling was mutual. I fell in love with her shortly after the war. But, she didn't think it would work, she wanted to stay friends." Shikumaru pauses as he looks away from me.

"Shikumaru…" I whisper.

"I don't understand why," His voice cracks.

Shikamaru stays facing away from me. I can only look at him. I don't know how to help him. I don't understand how to help him. I don't think I can help him with it. I try to think of anything. But I can only think of one.

"Is that what the fear was about?" I ask.

"Yes, and I hope that every day I wake up missing her less only is seems to grow and I don't know why…" Shikumaru begins to shake.

"How did you find out about her feelings?" I ask.

"She sent me a letter explaining everything. And I felt heart broken by it," Shikumaru looks at me.

"I don't know what to tell you Shikumaru, I've never really had any friends." I look at his eyes and retract my hand.

"No," he mumbles.

I stop, not sure of what to do. Here is someone crying in my living room and I feel helpless. I don't understand what he wants from me. I listened to him and tried to ease his pain but beyond that I don't know. Most of the times that works and people stop crying. Only, Shikumaru is so broken by all of this. He clearly loves Temari and knows he cannot get her out of his mind. Only, I have no idea how to even try to help him. I know that I shouldn't try to help him, and that whatever is going on between us needs to stop since it interferes with the mission. No, there is nothing between us, he is hung up on a girl and I am getting annoyed with him every time this topic comes up.

"I love Temari with all my heart, but I don't know about these other emotions I am feeling." Shikumaru gives me a pleading look, as though I can help his with his pain.

"Shikumaru I don't understand how to help people. Maybe asking Sai?" I joke.

Shikumaru cracks a smile, look up at me he smiles, "I don't know if I can tell any of them this though."

"You should tell someone other than me," I state.

"I can't," He looks away from me.

"Why not?" I question him.

"Because, I know I shouldn't feel this way about her since she and I already talked about these thing. Therefore everyone expects me to move on from her just as fast," Shikumaru has calmed down.

"That's unfair," He looks back up at me, "You need time to heal besides you have important intel that you need to help me on. Not to mention that relationships seem too hard and like they should never happen."

Shikumaru laughs a little, "I guess you're right Tooru."

After that we stayed up talking about anything. There are a few moments of silence but it's turned back into the soothing silence that feels normal. We did eventually get back on the topic of the copy group. And we did make some new progress on the group, like who was in the village and about the build of the group. Also that the highly specialized ANBU members are going to be taken away like Naruto and Gaara were. Only that these files could be key to finding more information out about each village, or that since there are so many they would want to start a new village to rival the five great nations. There are so many but we got them narrowed down. I even had to draw a picture of the area for Shikumaru to understand just where I am and how they always stand. We noticed a pattern, they stand in a way that points to each village. Something that I over look everything because I thought that it meant nothing.

"Can we at least run through a few possible things that can happen?" Shikumaru asks.

"Fine, one or two a day," I reply.

"Okay. Situation one, while they are asleep you are placed in a genjutsu and you cannot find a way to break it," he sits back with a smirk.

"Easy, use shadows to break a finger and escape," I retort.

"You wake up to see that you are surrounded by them and they all have kunai in their hands," he comes back.

"I would sink into the ground and cause an uproar with them," I say easily.

Shikumaru looks at me, puzzled. I know he cannot think of any other thing that could happen. Even if they chased me he knows that I can hurt them a lot. He throws up his hands to surrender and I only laugh. He laughs as well. Maybe working with him will be good for me. Now that we are focused on the mission and not stupid relationship problems the progress that we can make will be fantastic. We finally calm down from laughing and go back into silence.

"I should be heading home though," he yawns and gets up.

"Awe, the super tough ninja tired again?" I tease.

He shoves me playfully, "Maybe we can train in a few days. But go easy please, I don't think any of us can match your powers."

"Fine. Meet up around noon?" I ask, Shikumaru nods and leaves.

I change and go to bed. Only, I think I understand that Temari never fully loved Shikumaru. Maybe there was something, but Temari did not feel the same. I think that there is more to this. Only I have no idea what those things are.


	11. Chapter 11: Training Ground

**Chapter 11: Training Grounds**

A few days pass and I am at the training grounds waiting for Shikumaru. I am waiting for a surprise attack from him. I put up my bubble and wait.

Maybe I should try hand to hand. I am a little rusty with it and would maybe like to fight against Lee one of these days. That might actually give Shikumaru the upper hand here. I don't want to repeat what happened last time I fought Shikamaru. Hand to hand is something I need to review, since some people fight in close combat, such as Naruto and Hinata are good examples of that.

Then again, fighting something else would be good. He isn't too good with long range fighting since his shadows have a fixed amount of distance they can go. And staying out of his range would be easier. But I need the challenge, I cannot only rely on staying out of range. Some people are too fast, even for me to get out of range. Therefore, it would make sense to try to fight closer to someone.

I hear the rustling and then sense him. Shikumaru's shadow comes out from the bushes and tried to get me. I jump back and get out of his range, marking the place, and unlike when he fought Temari the sun is in my favor since I went south to avoid his range from increasing since there are no trees west, only the post. Plus, there is no way for him to reach this far. I decide maybe hand to hand, most middle and long range forget to work on close hand to hand battles.

"Nice move," he comes out from the bushes and yawns.

"Cleaver hiding in the bushes," I reply.

I wait. Shikamaru is trying to figure out what he should do next. I know that he is going to try to get me with his shadow, so I should jump and try to attack him. He doesn't know what I am going to fight with.

He crouches and starts with the shadows again. I jump up and run toward him, ready for an attack. I stop in my tracks, I glance down to see that he split his shadow since he figured that I would try attacking him. He gets up and starts to walk over to me and I have to walk the same way he is. I begin to formulate in my head. He will become cocky and act all high and mighty with pinning me down, but there is a way to break it, by will power.

He has a look of victory on his face, only he doesn't know that I have one or two tricks up my sleeve. I was ready with being caught. I think I have and idea of what to do.

"Don't try," he states simply, "As someone who also uses shadows you should know that as you get closer to the caster the bond gets stronger."

"You also forget that I have many things I can use," I mumble, knowing he isn't right.

"Tsk, only a handful of people know how to break this. And that is limited to people in the Nara family." Shikamaru says.

"Well, I learned a lot of things. You're father taught me a lot," I smile.

Shikamaru stops. This is a shame. I know how to do a lot of things.

I feel my arm moving to him and I know he is moving it. I feel some movement of my own freewill. He places a hand on my shoulder and my hand is on his shoulder; he smiles believing he won this match. I narrow my eyes. Focusing my chakra through my body.

Quickly I break the jutsu and spin around and sweep his legs and jump back away from him. He yells, not expecting me to do that.

"How the hell-" he starts.

"I told you before, I know how to fight," I run back up to him and try to hit him.

He blocks my hit and jumps back. I go after him again and for a while we have a hand to hand combat fight. He jumps into a tree and releases his shadows again. He puts me on defense again. I dodge for a while waiting for him to run out of chakra.

With all my dodging I can see him get frustrated and rushing some moves that could get me. Making sure I try to figure out what he is planning. There is no way for me to tell since he can change plans so fast and figure out who he is fighting against.

I jump back out of his reach, forcing him to come out of the tree. We pause for a minute, I see he is having fun as I am. Fun, what a strange word for me to think, something I haven't thought about in a long time.

He jumps down for the tree and walks toward me slowly. I try to stay of his range but I know I cannot go into the trees with a lot of shadows. That's when the plan hits me, I know I have to act fast in order for it to work. I seem the smug look on his face and know that he isn't thinking about the fact I can be fast when it comes to this kind of thing.

Now I understand why Kakashi put him as my partner. We both watch and see what the other person is going to do. Which makes us good against each other. We can challenge each other. There is a lot of things that can happen. We both are good about bouncing back and forth.

"Running out of options?" he reads my thoughts.

"Not yet," I say.

I jump up and over his head, when I land I charge him. Only he is ready for this one since he knows I am only fighting with my fist. He blocks my kunai and ducks when I punch him. He sweeps my legs this time and I fall to the ground. I roll and jump back up before he can try anything and get behind him, kicking him into the lake.

"Had enough Shikumaru?" I tease.

He pops his head out of the water and glares at me. I start to laugh as he chuckles. He gets out of the water, completely soaked and still laughing a bit. I lay down in the grass and Shikamaru follows me down. I look up at the cloud and see that not many are out, which gave me the advantage, which works out fine for me.

"That was nice. I thought you would have fought with something else," he comments when he gets next to me.

I needed to remind myself of hand to hand.

I shake my head, "I need to work with fighting hand to hand so why not try it?"

"Well, I need to work on hand to hand than," he looks at me.

"I will change it every time we train you know," I state matter-of-factly.

He glances at me than glances at the ground, not knowing what to say. I giggle, knowing what he could be thinking. I leave in a few weeks to go spy and maybe actually training with someone will help me a lot more than just hitting things while they break. After a while we part ways and I decide to take a nap before dinner.


	12. Chapter 12: Talking with the Loud Mouth

**Chapter 12: Talking with the Loud Mouth**

Later on that week, I am under the tree, looking up at the clouds. There are not may today, mostly sunshine. I welcome the warmth. The house has been really cold the last few day since Tenzo never fixed the heater. I may do that today before bed.

Training with Shikamaru helped a lot for me to understand what I still need to work on. And we have been working every day to try to understand what is going on with the group. Surprisingly, we have gotten very far when it comes to the group.

We believe that there are other ninja that are very hidden in the villages. That much is known to us. But we are lead to believe that when Orochimaru was working on his experiments one child survived. And there aren't many of specific clans left. That or they were orphaned during the war. Either way there is a high amount of power these kids hold. I don't know of others in the village that are like me, all I know is that the traitors should be finding the fake copy of files on me any day now.

The file that will hopefully lead me to figuring out what they want.

Shikamaru also knows a way to improve my hearing. We have been training with that in mind.

One more thing is that the group might use how these hidden ninja have been treated to take down the village's from the inside. These ninja know too much about the workings of the village since that might be all they have been able to do with the power that they hold. Though unclear as to why they want to take the villages down, we have multiple things as to why.

1\. Gain power

2\. Overthrown the peace

3\. Cause the ninjas to riot

4\. Expose how we have not changed our ways

5\. Create mistrust in the villages

6\. Begin a lack of miscommunication

7\. Get these ninja to join them

8\. Start a village with these powerful ninja

9\. Play with the ninja and make them go crazy

All of these seem like a possible out look since there are too many things. We haven't fully ruled out beginning a war again. But that doesn't seem fully possible with the time they are taking nor are they trying to gather members.

We have worked days just to reach these conclusions.

Yet, we had to stop working together today.

Shikamaru was called away to help Tenzo with his mission and he had to grab Sakura as well. He left a note and Lord Sixth came to tell me that I had to work on my own for a few days. I sigh knowing that I have to keep planning by myself but with the help of Shikamaru I can figure out what my next plan of action will be. And I feel much better since my partner has offered a lot of support to me.

I leave to go spy on the group in a few days. Days, that I have to create the precautions. Shikamaru left some suggesting. Basic traps and a few places to hide these traps.

Suddenly, there is a shadow in front of me, I open my eyes and see Kiba standing in front of me. I close my eyes again.

Kiba hasn't hung out with me in a while. And I am still under the orders of Kakashi to make friends with them. I want to work on that, but I never remember until it is late at night. I figured they would all be asleep and wouldn't want to be around the girl who knows more about Shikamaru than them. I open my eyes and sit up.

"What's wrong Kiba?" I ask.

"Can I talk to you?" Kiba sits down next to me.

I move over a little so he s still in the shade. I don't know what he wants to talk about but I can feel my heart beginning to race a little more. Is this what others feel like? Is this what Kakashi first talked about when I meet him. I think he called it being nerves or anxious.

"Sure," I reply.

"It's about Shikamaru and Temari," Kiba looks away from me, "I feel kind of bad for Shikamaru. We all knew he liked her a lot. Recently Gaara told us of some guy she started to date a while back. Though Shikamaru isn't showing us, we know he is in pain by it."

"There isn't much you can do when you are in love though," I state, almost robotic.

"I know that's why he stopped talking to us. I mean all of us are in relationships. We wanted him to be with Temari, but she never returned the feelings. Sakura understands that point. Like when Naruto liked her, or when Hinata liked Naruto." Kiba tells me.

"Do you understand that?" I ask.

Kiba nods, "Ya, I mean there were some girls that I have liked that didn't return the favor, and girls like me that I didn't like back." Kiba pauses, "The better question is, do you understand it?"

I tilt my head.

"I have no idea. Having friends and liking people are new to me. So I wouldn't know better," I answer.

I notice Kiba jump up a little at my answer. What is going on with him? I don't find this relaxing, its beginning to feel like I am working to talking to him, but I'm also not. Like that's not confusing.

"You wouldn't know? You have no idea what it's like?" Kiba asks.

I look at Kiba. Is he trying to get something out of me? I have no idea if he does or doesn't I want to know. I might, but I don't talk to anyone else about my feeling towards others. Is appreciating the Hokage considered this? No, I don't think so.

I appreciate Shikamaru and his help.

Besides, it's a time to relax. Though I feel like I have gotten really far with getting to know the group.

But I need to know what Kiba wants.

"Kiba, what's the point that you are trying to make?" I inquire.

Kiba takes a deep breath, "I want to know if you have a crush on him, Shikamaru I mean."

I look at Kiba and wonder why. I don't say anything about it because I am only trying to be his friend. What motive does he have? This reminds me of the bath house and all of his friends trying to push us together. Should I let them push us together? Would it only hurt Shikamaru more or maybe help him?

No he still love Temari, he is hanging on to her so much and maybe just maybe he is finally accepting the help from me. I know my feelings for him but maybe Shikamaru only sees me as a friend, someone who he'll work with once and never talk to again. Besides, it is a mission that he and I need to focus on. There is no way any feelings can develop between Shikamaru and I. The thought never crossed my mind, I mean sure I admire the kid for helping me out so much and such a huge mission but liking him is stretching it. I sigh, this is pointless for me to try to think of a way out of.

"Tell me what you are thinking Tooru," Kiba states.

I look at him, "Why are you even bothering asking Kiba?"

Kiba looks at me confused, a little grin coming across his face, "Well, I mean you guy have been working together for what about two months by this point and you spend a lot of time together," I open my mouth but Kiba talks over me, "I mean, you two seem to really enjoy spending time together and from what I can see you two already know each other really well."

I pause, "It's to help us get ideas going…"

"I say that is bull. Come on! Can you not tell when someone is trying to make a move on you Tooru?" Kiba asks.

I turn away from Kiba and think. Does he like me? No, he still loves Temari from what he has told me. Besides, no one ever has made a move on me since I hide more in the shadows than anyone else that I know. The best option would be to play along and say I do, I don't even know how I feel about him.

"I do like him, only I don't know how he feels about me," I finally say.

Kiba snaps his attention to me, "You do?"

I nod my head, feeling a little awkward telling this to Kiba since I never talk to him in general. Well, we only talk about training and helping him improve his skills. He is learning how to be faster now, which is helping him get ready to be the leader of his clan. Maybe I shouldn't have told Kiba this. I mean, what happens if anyone else figures this out. I don't need a lot of people just coming up and asking if there is something between us. Maybe I should have just left, my time is almost up to just relax and this is not relaxing for me.

"That's good, but aren't you two working on a mission together?" Kiba pushes.

"Yes, but this started before I started to work with Shikamaru…" I look away, maybe getting Kiba to think I am blushing.

I mean, I have known about Shikamaru for a long time. And he was always the one I watched the most. I can start to feel the heat coming into my face. I have always been watching Shikamaru the most. Next would be Hinata.

"How long has this been going on?" I hear Kiba ask.

"A while," I stammer.

Kiba doesn't say anything. Only thinks as well. I wonder what he is thinking, I know my mind is racing a million mile a minute.

What if this gets back to Shikamaru? What if they all hate me because of this? I feel like I could be a part of this group but I don't know if this will allow me to be in the group. I am so worried about not being able to be with Shikamaru but I want friends more than anything right now.

I have gotten a taste of what it is like. And though I think most of the time it is a waste of time, lately I can see the merit about talking with people. I feel like I know myself better than I did two months ago. I guess Kakashi was right with forcing me t make friends. But I know Lord Third didn't want anyone else to abuse my power.

I remember the park again, and how much I wanted to play with them. After that Lord Third made me into a person who could not even talk. All the adults knew what happened but I started to disappear into the background of the village after I was cursed. The crush started that day at the park, well the closes thing to a crush I could have at the time. It melted away after I was ordered not to be so attached to people until I was over 15 years old. I have never been close to any one until Kakashi took over, and now Shikamaru. But that doesn't matter, all that matters is the safety of the village.

But that shouldn't be the only thing. Shikamaru and Kiba have both talked about how Naruto has faced people to protect his friends. How can I protect the village like that if I don't have anyone I want to protect other than the Hokage?

"You know Tooru, we do want to be friends with you," I look over at Kiba who is looking at the clouds, "You seem like a cool person and Shikamaru seems to trust you. I'm sorry that we all kind of snapped at you the other day, but we just worry about that kid. Besides, you talk to me, you just seem busy lately."

Kiba looks at me and sees the look at my face, how much hope there is in my eyes. I can tell him so much more than what I can to others. Even then, I can talk to the others more about things. Kakashi ordered me to get to know everyone.

"I wish I can tell you how much this means to me Kiba." I mumble.

"We all want to get to know you. So start with your past Tooru. I promise I won't steal you from Shikamaru." Kiba laughs at his own joke but I remain silent, "Well? I'm all ears and I will try to help."

I look away. I can tell him. I know I can, but Kakashi said to be friends with them. He did not tell me that I could tell them about myself. I think of my story and see myself telling Kiba. But there isn't a block. I can clearly see myself telling Kiba everything.

"I've had a past, and I was put into the place I am at a very young age. You can think of me as someone very gifted." I pause. "There is a lot to tell you Kiba."

"Why Tooru? You told Shikamaru everything right?" Kiba sounds concerned.

"Yes. I told him to help build trust between the two of us. Kakashi ordered it of me." I tell him.

"Kakashi ordered it?" Kiba asks.

I nod, "Kakashi has to give me orders and it's a special thing for me to tell people about myself or to be ordered to make friends."

Kiba begins to nod but stops. Kiba eyes widen as he registers what I am saying.

"Wait, what?!" Kiba exclaims.

"Kakashi has to give me orders to do a lot of things. Shikamaru was the first one to get the special orders from him." I explain.

Kiba snorts, "He has special orders from Kakashi? That's annoying. He should honestly just let you tell whoever you want."

"I wish that was the case Kiba, only this goes all the way back to Lord Third. There is really no escaping this," I put sadly.

"There is a way," Kiba interrupts me, "Trust me, Naruto and I can find a way to break it. I'm sure Naruto will tell you the same thing."

I only look at Kiba, I am worried that if this group learns about anything going on than they may decide to do something. I really only think of Naruto since he is the village hero who hasn't learned to calm the hell down. I know if I tell them my mouth will go numb and I will forget everything for a few hours or until that person leaves. Plus, if they all learned that I use to work with Itachi before he left and that I knew of the plans, they would not want to be my friends.

I know that this will blow up in my face, especially if any other information about me is to get out. I… I am… scared I guess is what I am feeling. If people are willing to help, what does that say about this generation of ninja? They are more focused on building friendships then the safety of the village. I don't know how I feel about that, it is reckless. Friendships are so dumb and inhibit the person's ability to think clearly when it comes to a life or death situation.

Though, looking at how they all act with each other, you know that have each other's backs.

I shake my head, "No Kiba, there have been many people who have tried to take care of it and fix it. No one has had any luck with working this thing out of my life. I can tell you bits and pieces but other than that, I cannot say much."

"Well," Kiba is looking up at the clouds, "At least let us help you and Shikamaru get together."

I force a giggle and nod. Kiba laughs as well, enjoying the mood. I guess that it is nice but I am not use to this. What will happen is Shikamaru beings to develop feelings for a person who knows nothing about emotions and cares way more about the village than anyone else in her own life?

"Seriously Tooru," Kiba pauses, "Come and hang out with each of us in small groups or one on one so we can try to get to piece the puzzle of your life together. We want to train with you and make friends with you so we can all go out on missions or just to get some food. I'll tell you what, Hinata, Shino and I are all grabbing dinner tonight if you would like to join us."

I look at Kiba wide eyed, amazed that he is asking me to come eat with his group. Should I even think about it? I have a lot of things that I need to be doing, and I did not expect to be asked to hang out with anyone. What do I even do? No one ever wanted me to come out with them and surely this is the first time. Normally people just leave and say good-bye. I nod after a moment and we get up and walk over to the ramen place. There we are greeted by Hinata and Shino.

"Tooru! You decided to come?" Hinata asks.

"Thank Kiba, he convinced me," I state, a little harshly.

"Well, lets eat," Shino says.

That night was filled with Kiba trying to set up a jokes and Shino hitting it away and saying something deep and insightful. Normally I would listen to him but Hinata and I only giggled at the two boys causing a fuse over little things like a joke. Normally joking is not allowed on my missions. But hearing their stories of missions and how much fun it seems to be, I would love to go on a mission with them. After and few bowls I head home.

Is this what it's like to have friends, laughter and a good time that you just want to go out again? I don't know what this feeling is, but it feels warm.

I start to fix the heater and giggle at how much fun I actually had. I remember Hinata almost spilling her ramen on me and how Shino said something along the lines of how she should be careful and watch out. Then Kiba interjecting with pushing Shino down and telling her everything will be okay. After finally fixing the heater I go to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13: The Unexpected Guest

**A/N: Hello! Here is a new Chapter and and me that much closer to starting to update the actual story!**

 **Chapter 13: An Unexpected Guest**

I wake up feeling that someone is at my door. They are only sitting there and not moving.

I get up and get dressed. I put on some food, ready to invite the person in to eat if they hadn't already. I go to my door and open it. I don't know what I am going to find on the other side of the door, but I don't think it will be pleasant.

I see Neji sitting, as though thinking. He doesn't turn around with the door opening so I lean against the doorframe and wait for a moment. I let him sit there thinking for a few more moments as my mind wonders as well. What the hell could Neji want? From my knowledge he isn't much of the social type of person, and right now he looks like he wants to say something to me.

I shift and sigh, I should get this over with now. I should say something first. I think Neji knows that I am standing outside. I don't understand why he is here though. But I should find out. Kakashi would be mad if I didn't treat all of them the same. I would have invited Kiba in so fast.

I look at Neji a little longer. I feel so… I don't know. I guess out of place with him. Neji is one of the smartest people but he is also someone who comes across as having their life together. Something that most people are just staring to get together now, he looked like this since they were younger.

"Hey what brings you here Neji?" I ask, he looks up at me and has this look of determination.

"A lot. Hinata told me about the great time you guys had," Neji says.

"Why don't you come inside? We can talk over some food," I gesture inside.

Neji gets up and walks inside. I show him to the kitchen and finish up cooking.

There is a moment of silence after I give Neji his food. I look at him and wonder why he has come to visit me. Does it have something to do what I talked to Kiba about yesterday? I am concerned about all of them. But, maybe I shouldn't worry so much. I need to understand that everyone has a reason, just as I have my reason for letting him in. I know that I should just hear him out.

"I bet you're wondering why I'm here," I nod in response, "Well, I was talking to Naruto and Hinata last night and they both think we should help you with Shikamaru. I want to know what you even want with him since you did come out of nowhere. I don't know what you are planning but you better not hurt him. It seems forced the way you came into his life you know."

"What makes you think I would hurt him?" I ask.

"Who even are you? None of us know and it seems suspicious for how you have just come in. Shikamaru refuses to tell us anything. We just want to know." Neji states.

A pause. I don't know what to say to him. I want to avoid the topic of being ordered to become their friends. How Kiba reacted yesterday proves that. But I need to tell Neji something.

"I came because of circumstances," I carefully say.

"That doesn't convince me," Neji retorts.

I shake my head, "I don't want to hurt him, or any of you."

Neji pounders this for a moment. He looks away, "It's just, try to understand Tooru. You seem like a really nice girl but I am only about trying to make sure that no one gets hurt here."

I see now, he is worried about his friends getting hurt. I don't know how I can ease his mind seeing as I don't normally deal with people all too well. I guess that he is making sure that I am here only to work and maybe become friends. But what is the point in friendship if no one trust me?

I don't want to tell Neji anything. So far Kiba and Shikamaru know the most about me. There is nothing else for me to do about it. I shouldn't be telling people about myself.

But Kakashi told me to be their friend.

IS this what friendship is about? Every time I think I understand what someone is telling me they go against their word. I don't understand this. I am trained to look at how enemies act, not how people who should have my back are acting.

I don't want to tell him.

"I know. I wish I could tell you more only I can't. You have to take my word that I won't hurt anyone," I say.

"I don't know if I can," Neji looks at me; catching me off guard.

I pause, not knowing what to say to him at all. I only look at him confused, I don't know what to say to him since he clearly does not trust me. And he has every right to. I can tell them anything.

But with this feeling I don't want to. I feel like I did when I had to first tell Lady Fifth about me. How she acted was so different and I didn't want to tell her. I wanted to be as far away from her as I could.

Unlike the time Saskue caught me watching them play ninja. It was a month or two after Itachi left, and Saskue even invited me to play. I ran away though, always. I remember the glare he had. I could not bring myself to ever approach them again; so I slipped into the shadows even more. Now, here I am being told off. So disrespectful to do to someone in their own home.

I don't know how to tell them everything. I shake my head. I was ordered though.

There is a need for me to tell them. I have to tell them.

I don't want to tell Neji.

"I don't know anything about you. Not even a clan name or even how long you've been in the village," Neji codly says.

I feel tears stinging my eyes, "I've been in the village a very long time."

"So you just want me to take your word?" Neji stands up, clearly trying to say he is in charge.

"It's something that you would never be able to understand Neji," I snap, standing up, "You always talked about how people cannot change their destiny. Yet, Naruto changed the fact that you were going to beat him! What about Lee becoming one of the greatest taijutsu user in the whole world? Have you forgotten that you have been wrong with people when someone else believes in them? You have no right to come in here and not want to trust me because of things that are out of my control. Neji I know you will become great but that greatness has a two way street that is you give but you don't receive then you will fail…"

I stop, finally seeing the look of shock on his face. I know I may have gone too far but Neji knows better than to come into someone's home and basically insult them. I know this will cause a rift between us. But I can't deal with these emotions. I feel like I am fighting with myself to get anything done with Neji. I don't like this feeling and I don't like how I am acting.

Yet, I cannot stand here and hear about how bad my intentions are toward the group that Kiba said wants to be my friends. I put my hand on my face and see that it is wet. Pathetic that I am crying in front of someone. Something I have not done since Itachi left. I feel so welcomed into the light of the village, led by no other than Neji.

Some warm welcome by Neji.

This makes me wonder again if having friends is really the best option for me at the moment. I don't think I should be friends with Neji. I don't like the way I am feeling right now. I feel, guilty?

Should I keep going with the orders?

I have to. It is the Hokage's wish for me to be friends with these people. I cannot disobey orders. That is something I have never done. I don't know what happens what I disobey an order, but Lord Third made me think it was awful.

Neji smirks, "Tooru, you have some good points, I've slipped into some old habits that should not happen. Only with you I feel like I should take the precaution."

I cross my arms in front of me, clearly upset by Neji. I don't want to keep talking to him. I want Neji to leave. I want to be alone, something I haven't felt like in a long time. I don't want to feel this way.

"Just don't insult someone in their own home. That's what made me mad at you Neji," I say, trying to collect my thoughts again.

"I understand," Neji seems sincere with it.

I look away from him, embarrassed by everything I had just said to him. I know I should not have spoken to one of Shikamaru's friends like this but Neji sometimes needs to understand that not everyone thinks the way that he does. After a moment of looking away I realize that he has moved to a different spot in the house. I walk to the living room and see him getting ready to leave. I flash back to Itachi leaving that day when he left Saskue crying in the street. I know I should stop him, but what good would that do right now?

'become their friends.'

Kakashi's words echo in my head. I need to do this. I need to make things right.

But I don't think this can be fixed right away though. I don't want to fix it, but I have to fix this. By orders.

"I'm sorry Neji if I am pushing you out," I say.

"You aren't. I have training with Tenten and Kiba. But I'll see you around," Neji nods and leaves.

I stand in the middle of the living room, wishing he would have invited me. Training with people is what I've always wanted to do. Being able to have other see what I can do. I never fully trained with someone. I want to. Only I know that is not a good idea since they don't understand my powers like Shikamaru.

I miss Shikamaru.

I sigh and go and clean up the kitchen. I pick up the bowls of rice and see that Neji only ate half of his share I gave him. I put it away, saving it for lunch. I wash them out and hope that Neji isn't going to be a jerk about what he learned from me and how I didn't tell him anything about myself. I don't actually want to tell Neji anything though, I feel uneasy around him already.

How much I want to make friends with them only I can't for some reason since it was something that needed protecting according to Lord Third. I couldn't tell anyone. I was forced to be alone and separated from everyone. I never had a chance to talk to anyone else. Lord Third did this.

Damn Lord Third, he caused all of this. I wish I could not be in ANBU and actually have friends without all the secrets. I know that Lord Sixth and Tenzo are trying to break the seal but it's on the back of their minds with this new group. Even Lady Fifth could not break it with any medical tools she had. The constant trying of breaking the jutsu and not being able to get through any layer of it.

And them trying to break it hurts me. Every time there is a beginning to breaking the seal it hits me harder. I cry out in pain. The seal, when threatened begins to harm the person it is placed on. Last time we tried to take it off I was passed out for a day and a half. I was in a lot of pain. I could barely form a thought. That was a year ago about, and Kakashi hasn't tried to do it again.

Though we did figure out how I can tell one person every six months with permission. Only, I want the rest of them to know. I long for the others to know and actually trust me with missions and helping them with little things. And Lord Sixth can only grant permission once every six months to tell one person about my past. Although, I think the last time we tried to break the seal, it loosened. Which is nice for us now. Now I can tell more people about my past.

The past that is locked away from everyone else except for a few people, one of which is dead. Itachi was one who knew everything about me, and he actually treated me like a six year old who needed to be punished and love. Big brother Itachi was great and he loved everything about his life, except his family motives. I loved Itachi, with all my heart and I envied Saskue for having such a great older brother. I never loved anyone in any way again since, when Itachi left I was heartbroken and I could no longer confide in him. I was alone again, only able to watch people being friends. It was shortly after Itachi left was the park and me being locked away from everyone except a few people.

Until someone else came along.

That someone else doesn't even know that he has helped me so much. I don't feel nearly as robotic as I did before; as though I am actually alive and seeing the world again. Shikamaru's face pops into my head and I can't help but feel sad and happy at the same time. Just the thought of him sends chills through me and I know I have someone else who I finally trust other than Lord Sixth and Tenzo. I feel guilty though, it's not like I'm trying anything with him but just the fact that he has to be the one to know all of this information and he cannot even tell his friends about it. Besides, why would he talk to me after this? He had a date a few nights ago with someone and actually went on it. He seemed happy I guess after it but he still went on it. I shake my head.

Everything is so messed up. I cannot even fathom the fact that Lord Third did this to a child no less, one that could not speak up for herself and fight for her clan name. Kakashi and I both know how messed up it is, but Lord Third did not want anyone to know about me. Only in the process he messed up is my guess and created a seal that would be passed down from each Hokage. Now, we may never figure out how to break it. And no one has ever been able to break the seal.

I sigh, realizing that it is nearly lunch and I have not even started on planning anything today. I get up from the table to grab the plans that Shikamaru and I began a few days ago. I drew up the forest area around the clearing that they always meet. It is detailed and shows every aspect of the clearing. I look and decide to plant my smoke screens. Looking due west of the clearing, away from the village, about 20 meters is another clearing. Hopefully I can also set up some more traps. That would require me to leave a few days earlier than expected. I may even have to leave the a few days after tomorrow in order to set everything up and make sure that I can get away if I need to. I will go and talk to Lord Sixth tomorrow since that is when I need to tell him everything and request to leave sooner than I expected. I can set up traps all around the clearing that only my chakra will set off. I would also need to hide them really well so none of them find the traps while they are doing a sweep. They will not have chakra infused since I can only assume both work off of chakra.


	14. Chapter 14: The Blonde Man

**Chapter 14: The Blonde Man**

Looking down at the plans, I feel happy knowing that I will be leaving sooner than I expected. I am actually ahead of my normal planning. Thanks to Shikamaru I know what I need and things to look for in case anything should maybe happen. But that pattern though, it was something that I missed. I was too focused on the information that I missed a placement thing, something sitting right in front of my face. But I have been too close to this group, so little things like that I over look as something that is a habit. Or so I thought. It has been great working with Shikamaru and getting to know about his friends and family. I look at the plans and all the new marks that I placed on it. I know I have something solid placed for anything that could happen.

I finally look up from my work and see that it is dark out, my belly growls. I missed lunch today since I was thinking about the mission. I had every intention to eat but thinking took hold of everything. Knowing that I should not fall into the same habit as before meeting actual people I should eat. That was when I only actually ate food pills and not normal food like rice. The taste sets me off a bit since I am no longer use to the taste, but it has grown on me. I sigh, knowing that I might not get a chance to say good bye to everyone.

I can't get ahead of myself. They aren't even my friends yet. That was clear with Neji coming into my house and insulting me. Why should I even worry about saying good bye? The one person that I thought was my friend told me details of a group and left. He said he was going to come back, he broke a pinky promise to me. I only saw him enough to maybe get information on the group. Something always came up. I missed him and he only worried about Saskue, not even caring that a little girl was getting all this information.

I feel someone watching me, I look out the window to see Naruto watching me. He sees me and waves. I signal for him to go to the door. I go and open it to see him standing and smiling.

"Hey,' he says.

"Hi," I reply, a little awkward.

We stand there for a moment, not saying anything. My belly growls again. Naruto looks at me quizzing. I sigh and step aside to allow him to come into the house. I close the door and walk to the living room with Naruto following me.

"Doesn't Caption Yamato live with you?" Naruto asks.

"Yes," I reply, "Right now he is on a mission since they had to go help a Lord."

"I know, I am mad that I wasn't able to go as well," Naruto pouts, "But that's not why I am here though Tooru."

"Okay, what did you want to talk about Naruto?" I ask as my belly growls again.

He sits at the table laughing, "Maybe you should eat first Tooru."

I move into the kitchen and begin to make food for both Naruto and I. I reheat the rice from this morning with another thing so Naruto can also have some. I decide to make chicken as well with some greens. I move around and pull out bowls for Naruto and myself, along with chopsticks. I barely even think about what I am doing, lord third said that if I have a guest I should always make them food as well. I even forgot to ask if Naruto wanted anything. But from what I know Naruto eats like he is a family of four by himself.

"Umm, that's a lot of food you are making there Tooru," Naruto says.

"Sorry," I look at him, "I thought you would also like some since I didn't know if you have eaten yet."

Naruto looks surprised, as though Neji talked to him. We are silent for a while. I have no idea what to say to him, and I think he is trying to think of what to say to me. Maybe he has heard somethings. I look over and see him looking down at the table then I remember that the plans are still there. Along with some thoughts scribbled on it about the group and anything else is important to the mission. The mission that I should be focusing on, not ties to people inside the village.

And Naruto is looking at them. I wasn't told to let anyone else know about the plans. Naruto is planned to be the next Hokage. But right now he isn't.

"What is this Tooru?" Naruto asks.

"They are plans for me leaving in a few days and that is what today has been," I mumble.

"That mission that you and Shikamaru are working on?" Naruto inquires. I nod, "You know Tooru, I should just be up front with you. Neji and Shino seem to be questioning what you want with us. And Shikamaru during training has tried to tell us but he can't seem to ever tell us. Kiba and Hinata seem to want to help you and trust you. What I am doing here is to see how you are. So you offering food is a little weird to me. Everyone wants to know you. You can tell me everything since I am training under Kakashi to be the next Hokage."

I only look at him. It isn't until he is Hokage that he can know everything. I sigh, upset that I can't tell him. Suddenly Naruto is hugging me. He is warm and welcoming, but I am surprised by what Naruto is doing. I haven't been hugged since before Itachi left the village and even then, he would do it very rarely, more of a surprise thing he would do. I feel something stinging my eyes and I wonder if it is the sauce that I used.

Only, I know in the back of my mind that it isn't. I am upset. I wanted to make a good impression on the group, but so far I haven't done anything to help. Two people don't trust me, one I thought I would. Everything is so messed up.

"Tooru, don't cry. I know, Kakashi explained things to me a little since I asked him," Naruto seems upset as well.

"There is nothing Lord Sixth can do. Him and Lady Fifth have tried very hard, only there is nothing that they can do," I hear my own voice crack.

Naruto only hold me, I begin to actually cry, something I haven't done since Itachi left the village. This is a moment when my story comes to my mind but I'm crying, I can't even find my voice. It feels weird, crying like this.

"I miss him," I mumble into Naruto.

"Who? Shikumaru?" I shake my head then shrug, "Someone from your past?"

I nod, "He was a very good friend of mine when I was younger."

"But you can't tell me who it was," Naruto sounds sad about it.

I break away from him, "Trust me I would love to tell you and everyone else about myself but I can't. It's frustrating and annoying. It's unfair to everyone that wants to help but can't. I thought I finally became numb to everything but then Shikamaru got to know about me and something changed."

"Please, I want to know," Naruto asks.

I take in a breath. Do I tell Naruto that Itachi and I were friends? I should. I want to tell someone about it. I think Naruto would be a good person to tell.

"Itachi and I use to work together. I just miss him a lot." I reply.

"Itachi?" Naruto begins, "Ya, I know what you mean. Itachi was a good guy. He wanted nothing more than to make everything right."

I nod. I look away from Naruto. I feel like Naruto is the easiest person to open up to. I don't know why. He is so opening and makes you feel safe with him. That is how he has been since he was little. Something that I admire from him.

I wish I could be like that. I know he must think I a weird. That I don't have a right to be talking to them. But he asked Kakashi and Kakashi can tell him things. I don't know how much information the Hokage is able to give out about me, but they hold all the power in this situation.

"You are breaking everything that we know about you every time," Naruto sounds amazed.

"Is that a good or bad thing?" I ask, worried.

"Maye a little bit of both, we don't want you to be the bad guy. In fact we all talked about it after we snapped at you. The group was pretty diverse about what we thought about you. I am one of the ones who wanted to talk to you before actually forming anything on you," Naruto pauses, seeing my face, "We haven't met anyone who kind of just comes into our little group. We've all been together since we all took exams together."

I step back and sit down at the table, looking at the plans for the mission. They have no reason to trust me. There is no base for it. I want them to know I don't mind it.

Only, I really care what thy think of me. I want to know what they thought of me. I want to know if there is any chance that I can be their friend. I am sure that there are too many factors. I shouldn't be worrying about it, but I can only wonder and hope that the outcome is good for me.

I look at Naruto, "I know it's weird and out of nowhere. But I honestly don't want to hurt any of you. I've never had many friends and even then, they weren't really a part of my life."

There is a pause, a tension forms in the air. A tension that I don't like, I want this to end because I don't want to deal with these facts. I don't know what is going to happen, and I hate not knowing what is going to happen next.

I feel like he will just walk out and leave forever, just like so many have done. I turn away, not knowing what to say or do since this silence always leads to me feeling lonely. The loneliness that I want to keep away from. A place I was forced to go to, a place that Lord Third began for me, that the Hokage after have been trying to break me away from. So far Kakashi is starting to take me out of the issue.

Yet another memory comes to mind, one with Ino and Sakura. When they both were friends and working together. They saw me and walked away from me laughing about something and I gave up on being their friend. I didn't know what they were talking about, I only know that if they were talking about me, I didn't want to deal with it. It most likely wasn't me, but it could have been. It could have been so many people.

I hear footsteps, moving to the living room. I know I should follow him and try to save whatever friendship I could have with Naruto. I cannot bring myself to stand up. I feel the water coming down my face and bring my hands up to hide my face. I feel weak again, so much like a child.

I messed up yet again with everything, I cannot seem to get one thing right when I am talking to the kindest person in the whole village. The person in the village that was hurt because of what happened at his birth. Can I not talk to him? I messed up.

I don't know if I can obey this order. I don't think I can.

The water is getting thicker. I feel a noise escape my lips. I place my hand over my mouth. I… I don't know.

Suddenly, I feel warmth.

"Don't cry Tooru, I cannot stand to see my friends cry," Naruto whispers in my ear.

I wrap my arms around him and just allow myself to be held. Naruto just called me his friend… no one has ever called me a friend. Not even Shikamaru has said I am a friend and I thought I was okay not being a friend to anyone and being friendless. Ever since Ino and Sakura walked away from me, I wanted no friends since I thought that no one wanted to be my friend. But it is something I have wanted to be called for a long time, not just a comrade but a person that is more trustworthy.

"Look, you show a hard outside but really you are scared. I think I understand how lonely your life I have been. No, I know, I was always alone. Only a few times would I feel like someone was there for me. It wasn't until I became a part of a squad did I finally feel like I belonged in the village. I can see the pain in your eyes Tooru, and I want to help. You have my trust and I tend to spread the feeling around. You are no longer alone, you at least have five people who trust you even though they can't really know your past," Naruto explains.

I need to tell him. I have to tell Naruto something about myself. I know, I should tell him my clan name.

"Kato," I say simply.

"What?" Naruto is now confused.

"That's my clan name," I mumble.

"Kato Tooru… that's really pretty. And I'm guessing that's all you can say right now?" Naruto clarifies.

I simply nod. A friend, one who I thought was going to leave for sure. I feel emotions, they are no longer distant from me but now a part of who I am. They are overwhelming to me. How do people deal with them? I am glad that I at least have one friend.

Eventually Naruto leave after dinner and we try to make plans to hang out again after my mission and hope he isn't on a mission by the time I get back.


	15. Chapter 15: The Hokage's Dog

**Chapter 15: The Hokage's Dog**

As I get ready another memory overtakes me. It is summer time, they are all in a group getting ready to play ninja, and they are about 10 years old. I am watching from the roof top and I cannot hear what they are saying. I think they are trying to figure out who is going to be it. Kids at that age don't have the sensing abilities, they are untrained. A ninja who has been trained could spot me from a mile away. I have a small energy but there is still a chance someone can find me.

I see a boy with a spiky pony tail.

The person who is it happens to be Shikamaru. He yawns after everyone scatters and only walks around. After a while he gets everyone. Most people are surprised but Shikamaru was smart, even then. Shikamaru knows how to find people.

I feel someone behind me. I turn around to see Saskue behind me, glaring at me. Backing away I know that Saskue is watching me. His eyes, they are strong even for how old he is. I can feel the anger and the hatred he felt. I quickly leave the area and never try it again.

Saskue is a scary person. Even more after Itachi left and Saskue was left alone. He was too hung up on power for anything to happen. I was scared. I didn't know how to talk to people. Saskue had friends and knew people. Saskue could have anything he wanted since he was known through the village. I was nothing in the village.

I still am next to nothing in the village. Well, now is less. People have been getting to know who I am as a person. It became less when people began to get to know me, since Kakashi ordered me to get to know people.

I shake my head.

I am right outside of Kakashi's office. I need to focus. That memory is old. I shouldn't be worrying about it.

I walk in to see Tenzo, Saskue, Lee, Sakura and Shikamaru already in his office. All of them turn to see who just walked into the room. Tenzo and Shikamaru already know. Sakura narrows her eyes at me and turns back around. Lee keeps facing forward. He is holding onto a crutch. He must have gotten hurt while they were on the mission.

Saskue, he looks at me. At first his eyes are the same as all those years ago. I shutter at the eyes. But they soften, a look of confusion? Yes, I have seen that look on Shikamaru before. Why would Saskue be confused about me?

Right he hasn't really seen me before.

I hear a cough and I look. I see Kakashi looking at me. I go into my stance. I need to focus.

"I am sorry Lord Sixth. I can come back in a few moments," I bow and begin to leave.

"No, stay, you also need to hear this Tooru," Lord Sixth waves me over to him.

I bow and walk over to him. I look at the others and I see Shikamaru is looking over at me. I almost forgot that Shikamaru went with Sakura to go help Tenzo with his mission. Shikamaru keeps his focus on me. Which makes me a little… flustered? Is that what I feel right now?

I also see Saskue, his facial expression is confused. He is trying to figure out what I am doing here. I wanted to talk with Kakashi but I didn't know that Tenzo would be back today.

Shikamaru gives me a small smile. I nod at him.

I stand next to Kakashi, looking at the group, "Now, go over it again Yamato."

"Yes Kakashi," Tenzo turns to me, "We spotted a few things out of the ordinary that may help you with your mission. We spotted a clearing that looked like the one you drew for both Shikamaru and myself. Only something seemed off, but we had to stop since Lee got hurt. Time seemed to speed up and not obeying anything that is going on. We forgot what day it was, we thought we had been there for days not knowing when back up would come. So, when Shikamaru and Sakura came it felt like Lee had been in pain for almost six months and not only a day or two."

"So Shikamaru and I got there and felt this odd chakra. We could not understand how it was like that. We know how to break these things but could not break it," Sakura interjects.

Right, I should have thought this could happen. I never thought that someone would have to deal with this. Though Sakura interjecting like that felt… like she was trying to make herself bigger than me. I shake it off.

I should not be trying to read them. I should be focused on what they are saying.

Kakashi looks at me, "Can you explain what is happening."

I nod and look at them, "Well, the chakra you feel is a preservation jutsu. It makes the body think that time is speeding up and it cannot be just one day that has been spent in the area. Beyond that I do not know much about it since I know how to counter it. I wish I had known you would be close to the clearing or else I would has taught you how to make special pills to take to keep from having this weird since of time. That feeling is so people don't spend so much time in there. That time though weights you down and steals your chakra each day you are in there."

Kakashi just looks at them. The whole group is shocked by what I just said. There is a very heavy moment of silence as I see Shikamaru and Tenzo understand what that might mean. I stand in my normal attention position but now something feels off about it. I feel awkward about how I am standing, normally I would not care too much about it.

I just don't know what I should be saying.

No I know what I should be saying. I don't know why I am acting like this. I need to just calm down.

"What are you saying Tooru?" Saskue asks.

I mentally shake off what I am feeling. I need to answer questions. This information is important to me and the mission.

"That place, it is suppose too be a secret and now that your guys chakra is around the area they will know that you where there. Since you didn't move your chakra will remain there until the meeting and they will know who you are. This will allow them the information that they need since certain chakras mix together very easily," I state.

There is a pause. I can see all of them thinking over the information I just gave them. I know I gave them the basics. But even then, Shikamaru knows about the clearing, I never thought that he would ever go there. I never told him since it was unimportant.

I never thought that something like this would happen. Shikamaru usually stays in the village. So I never thought of him leaving. I know how to get ride of everything. Chakra leaves a trace, which is why people can track us. Or small things to keep everything in place.

"So, how have you not been discovered?" Shikamaru inquires.

"Food pills that neutralize chakra. That's why I can do this mission since I know how to get rid of any chakra that I give when I am not infusing chakra. These food pills help to get that trail to a minimum to where even special trackers and all that cannot track the chakra. Along with a low chakra output makes it easy to hide up in a tree or in the ground. That is the only reason why," I reply.

I know this could be bad though. The group will know and could target these people. I don't even know who the people are yet. I want to know. No one knows who I am, but they could be very well-known ninja.

Sakura chimes in, "They will know who we are?"

"Each one of you have a specific chakra set up that allows you to have each jutsu's. This is why Naruto could not properly infuse chakra until he was older. Since he also has the nine tails he is very easy to know. Saskue has this certain darkness to him, and so on," I respond. Kakashi looks at me, as though telling me something, "I will go and clean it with special herbs that will mix them together making them one."

Kakashi nods. I look back at Shikamaru. He gives me a blink? No that was only one eye. What is that called?

My eyes go to Sakura, she doesn't look too pleased. I move my eyes away from her.

I see Saskue is still going through his mind. I don't know what he is thinking though. I don't know if I want to know.

"You all are dismissed," Kakashi waves his hand and they all file out.

Shikamaru hangs around for a second longer but Kakashi waves him out too. Normally there is only Kakashi and myself in the room when I am asking for things. That is a rule from Lord Third, this was to keep everything safe. But the orders have never changed.

Kakashi turns to me after the door is closed and I nod at him saying they are all gone, "Well, you want to leave the day after tomorrow correct?" I nod my head, "Very well, you gave me your plans yesterday through messages."

I nod, "So everything is good?"

Kakashi nods and dismisses me. I walk out and head into the market to grab the herbs. I quickly grab them and head home.

Kakashi is very quick with letting me do things. I wonder if it has to do with Sakura and Naruto. I mean Saskue too. They were a wild team. Usually there is a long meeting. But today there wasn't.


	16. Chapter 16: Making Herbs

**Chapter 16: Making Herbs**

I walk home and see Sakura waiting on the porch.

"What's wrong?" I ask walking up to her.

"I have heard many things about you Tooru, and I want to also get to know you," Sakura seems upset.

I am shocked by this. Normally, I don't have people coming and seeing me. But recently a lot of people have been. And I feel overwhelmed. I believe that is the correct word for that. I am not use to talking to so many people in a course of a few days.

"Well, come inside. Yamato is out right now so I can mix and we can also talk," I open the door and Sakura follows.

I can feel her thinking. But I don't know if I should be worried or not. By how she was acting in Kakashi's office. I don't know if she is happy with me.

"Neji doesn't trust you, along with Ino as well," Sakura is timid, "I kind of don't as well. Maybe this will change this though. I don't know how everyone else feels though."

I sit down and begin to mix the herbs, I know that this will take me a while and that I have primary focus on it. I begin to cut up everything so I can grind it up. This is something that I need to focus on, letting Sakura in was a great mistake since she will cause something. I am already stirring with emotions that I never thought existed until a few nights ago when Naruto came over.

I also need to remember that I need to focus. Becoming their friend is a secondary mission. A secondary mission to the primary mission, an order. That is all I am good for, giving orders and I obey.

"Look, I don't know what your rank is or anything but you seem very powerful. I, I mean why would you even talk to us? Most of us just became Jonin and some are even being looked at for ANBU. We each are good with a few things and how to do things. I mean Naruto is being looked at for Hokage!" She pauses.

"What point are you trying to make here Sakura?" I don't look up from measuring the herbs out.

I feel the coldness to my voice that hasn't been there since before I started to work with Shikamaru. I don't want to do this, but I don't know what else to do. Shikamaru would understand what I am doing and why I am doing.

"The point is that I don't trust you, and I am a medical ninja. I don't even know what mixture you are making. This isn't something-" Sakura starts.

"This is a family thing that has been passed down generation after generation. I can teach it to you if you would like Sakura," I interject.

This makes her pause a little bit, "Passed down?" I nod, "You have to be joking! I have never seen you around family and I always have seen you around the village."

"That's because I have none!" I shout at her, losing my place in the herbs.

She stops, I look down at my work, hoping that I did not just make a mistake by snapping at her. I hate telling people, but I know that I need to get this over with.

I notice that I am about to cut the wrong herb and quickly switch to the other one. I breath and I need to focus on this. I need to do this. I don't need to be distracted about this.

I work in silence and I know that Sakura is watching me, I look up to see she is giving me this compassionate look. One that I see her give everyone else, but the only look I remember is a look of disgust she gave me when we were younger. Something that I could never forget. Something that is a look I think everyone gives.

This look confuses me and I have no idea what to do about it. I look back down and try to hide that I am confused and upset, I don't like this at all.

"I'm sorry. You and Saskue both have something that I cannot understand. I assumed in places that I should not have," Sakura looks down.

"Didn't you have a vision during the Fourth Great Ninja War?" I ask, looking away again.

"No, I was helping Saskue and Naruto," she pauses, "Did you Tooru?"

This makes me stop. Can I actually tell her about what I saw? It was a different life, one I saw but never actually lived. I should be able to tell her. Nothing from that was real, I can tell her about my life, but maybe I should tell her about my life. I know many things could change.

I start to speak, "Yes, my parents I guess were there and I actually had brothers and sisters. We did everything together and I was actually friends with you guys, a very good friend. Only we actually had Lord Fourth and he was a great Hokage. We had missions and would hang out. I enjoyed everything that was going on, it didn't feel like a dream though. Every single person was in harmony and we really only played ninja," I stop, not being able to say anymore.

"That's all you can say isn't it?" Sakura asks.

I nod my head. I know I can tell many things, I should tell her more.

Knowing I have to focus on this or I will cry again. All these emotions are horrible and I don't know how to handle them. I feel arms around me and Sakura's hair is in my face. I place the herbs aside and hug her back, finding comfort in it.

"Let me help you, I don't want you to get discovered," Sakura picks up one and follows my instructions.

After a late night of mixing and talking Sakura leaves to her own home. I sigh and make sure everything is ready and I go to bed.


	17. Chapter 17: Mission

**Chapter 17: Mission**

It is morning, I am walking with Lord Sixth.

It is early morning, the sun is about to rise. Not even Shikamaru is up yet since I did not tell him when I am leaving. I had a fear that I would not come back from this mission. But, I could not stand to see the faces of people worrying about me; it is almost weak and pathetic to worry about a ninja going on a mission.

"You know we have to figure out their true motive before they attack anyone. I know that you and Shikamaru can figure this out." Lord Sixth says, I nod in response. "I know now you actually have people to come back to now, this village is your home and hopefully that curse that Lord Third placed on you will lift soon with Tenzo and myself trying to break the seal. Leave and remember everything you see and hear."

I nod and head off into the forest. I know I need to be effective when it comes to this. This mission is important.

Hopefully getting there before any of them do so I can set up. I make my way to the clearing, food pills ready and smoke screens to be placed. I need to make sure that I have everything ready. There is plenty for me to do before the group gets here.

I left the map so Shikamaru can look at it while I am gone to see if I missed anything. Maybe I should have asked him for his help, only I know that leaving would be harder. I shake my head, I cannot be thinking like this right now, it will only hurt the mission.

I make it to the outskirts of the clearing and begin to set up. I take a food pill and move into the clearing. I take out the herb mixture and sprinkle it around the clearing. It will soak up in the few days I am here by myself so everything is mixed together and maybe even be gone by the time they all get here. I sigh, the idiots for not being able to feel this thing taking effect on them. It is an easy jutsu to see past.

I move back outside the clearing, it is about noon. I go into the trees and place a smoke screen in a triangle around the clearing. A little inside and out of the triangle I place my traps with wires and paper bombs that none of them should be able to detect. It takes me about two days to set up all the traps. I know that the chakra I place in them should only go off if I will it to. They should be safe enough to where I can leave them for a while. I sigh sitting up from looking at the clouds.

Around lunch time I sit and think about my past. A new memory comes into mind.

The chunin exams, how I actually played a role in who passed and failed. How I went to each team and warned them about a dark time coming. I knew he was coming but all I could do was bite my tongue and wait for him to make an appearance. I cursed lord third for that choice right from the start, I knew that something would happen but I was good and followed orders, though it wasn't like I had that much of a choice. The first part I was next to Naruto and I knew that Hinata was going to let him cheat off of her. I smile at that, knowing that Naruto could have passed the exams if he had just looked over at Hinata. I took a look into his head and saw that he did not know what the point of the first exam was, everyone else knew and I was more than happy to play a part on letting them cheat off of me. If it was obvious I would signal those watching. The second round, I watched Gaara before he fully meet Naruto. How when there was the fighting, I knew Orochimaru was in the building close to Lord Third. I had to keep an eye out, right after Kabato quit was a red flag to me and I knew that he was a snake. I was not allow to act though and he tried to take Saskue right after that. The last round, I should have been by Lord Thirds side. He sent me away and I failed him. I failed the village by letting Orochimaru take lord thirds life.

I sit that night and think about all the information, knowing that all this can kill me. If I only knew specific targets that they are going after. Those targets would be nice to know since that would help me put together what they want more. This puzzle has too many pieces and too many unknowns. At least with the others I could get a general picture together about them. I look in the direction of the clearing, I sigh. This is such a drag. I wish I could have someone with me but I can't. I get up and move to my spot.

I sit in the trees, ready for three long day meeting that they have in physical form each time. One by one they enter the clearing, gathering into a circle. I notice each one having a few files on them. I finally note the way they all stand. I look at the one specifically from the Leaf, I want to try to find this one when I go back.

One enters from under the tree I am sitting in; the one I assume is the lead, "Let us begin! Does everyone have their files on secret ANBU members?" everyone nods, "let's begin with the hidden rain shall we?"

One person step forward and begins to talk about an ANBU member who I have never heard of. He is a part of the guard for the village that no one knows about. He is only 20 years old, impressive for someone so young to achieve a high place in his village such as that of the rain. Each person takes a turn, and each member they discuss I never heard of before or only heard about in stories that other ANBU tell. Each one of these ninja even greater than anyone can think of, one has the power to turn invisible and everyone who knew that person would forget them quickly and would never know that they existed. She is form the Sand, so Gaara knows about her. I should bring it up to Kakashi to talk about these things with the others, this is spelling doom for everyone.

"Good, now we can plan for the weakness of that shinobi. Next is the Village Hidden in the Leaf!" the leader proclaimed.

Someone steps forward and I look at their appearance, hopefully so I can identify them in the village, "This ANBU members name is Tooru, I could not find her clan name. She is the youngest ANBU member that we are looking at for she is only 18 years old. She did not have a lot on her file, no birthday, no friends, no family, or mission history. I looked for two weeks in every place they keep files, hers must be in a special place," I smirk my files are kept with the remains of Lord Third and only the Hokage can ever enter to look at my file and update it. "It is almost as though she does not exist in the village."

"Hmm, that is unacceptable, you did not tell anyone of what you are doing?" the leader inquires.

"No sir, I would never think about hurting this group." The person from the Leaf exclaims.

"Do we have to put you on special duty?" the leader's voice changed. The shinobi shakes his head, "Good, find information on her, she sounds more useful to us than any other village."

There is a moment of silence. Soon the leader calls for rest time and they all lay down and sleep. I take this chance to go over information. They are going after ANBU that even I had no clue existed. What could that mean though? What purpose do they all have? I know I have to be loyal to the village no matter the cost. I know that I have a lot of chakra but they would need the tailed beast for that. Maybe a new village? What good would that do? Unless they destroy all of our memories a new village will not be formed for any reason, especially if ninja go missing right as this village springs up.

After what feels like a few minutes a ring cuts through the air and they all get up and continue on with the meeting. They discuss how to bring down some of the ANBU. They have no idea with me since they have no clue who I hang out with or what I can do. After a few hours they move onto high shinobi with great power. All of Shikamaru's friends are mentioned along with the sand siblings. This goes on for three long days. This only confuses me more, what the hell could they want with them?

"Alright, I believe that is all. No plans for attack yet I assume, especially on the Leaf. And if you," the leader points to the one from the Leaf, "believe Gaara of the Sand is staying in the Leaf then we cannot attack yet."

"Sir, what will you have us do?" one member asks from the back.

"Find more info on these ninja and see if you can learn anything about them. We must wait two months for that is when we can all meet again." The leader pauses, "you are all dismissed."

I wait for them all to leave, this way they have no idea that I am there at all. I watch silently as one by one they all leave the clearing. I am still puzzled by all the information that I have just gotten. This does not help anything. Or maybe this did.

I know that the ninja that they are trying to get are all very strong. But now I know Shikamaru was right, all the villages are hiding powerful members. Some of them could be even more powerful than me. And surpass the tailed beast holders. This is bad.

I see they are gone and slowly stand up.

"You won't leave," a voice says behind me. It is the leader. He grabs my shoulder, "You are only a spy, nothing more. Why don't you join us and stop playing ninja. We can teach you how to properly fight."

I break free of his grip on my shoulder and silently go into the clearing. Everyone else already left.

Now I know something bad is about to happen. I need the think quickly. I don't have time to just be sitting here looking at the clouds. I need a plan fast. I can't be taken by this guy. I need to get away from him now.

"Seems like we have one that can move easily. Fight me little girl," he floats down into the clearing.

I see three options, stay and fight this jerk, run, or I can fight while I run. The traps I set will allow me to disappear in a smoke screen and cover my scent in case any of them are tracker type ninja.

I decide to run and fight.

I must report back to Lord Sixth. There is no reason for me to be fighting. I have to get this information back to Kakashi. I need to. There is too much that I know. This interaction will help as well. He doesn't know who I am yet.

"Ah, playing hard to get, I see," the leader chuckles, "Running will not do you any good!"

I hear it before I see it, a kunai is thrown and I dodge it with ease. I set off the smoke screen and make a break for a clearing far away. I don't turn back. I place up my bubble while I run. I need to get away from here. That man could take me.

I stop in the clearing to catch my breath, hoping I was not followed. I put up a bubble around the clearing to make sure no one is coming. I can feel him not coming. I know I am safe. So why is my heart rate not slowing? Why do I still feel like I am running? I am still in a clearing, with a lot of information.

What the hell do they want with all this generation of ninja that have only even seen one war and probably won't ever again? That information on special ANBU members is classified, and stored in secret. I know this is now becoming another war and we need to stop it now before it escalates into that. I know that if it gets too big the village will have to act quickly. Kakashi should have a plan of action. He thinks ahead.

I wait a few minutes, feeling the exhaustion begin to overtake me. I know that I am not being followed, I begin to walk to the village. I feel a dull pain in my shoulder; I guess he gripped me harder than I thought. I will see Sakura in the morning after I get some rest. I should send word through the insects. I call and send them ahead of me so Kakashi knows I am heading back, slower than normal too.

I get up and walk away from the clearing, not feeling anyone coming close to the clearing at all. I sigh. As I walk I remember something else. It is right before I am leaving on a mission.

I am in the bath being forced to relax a little before I spend three days in a tree. I heard someone come in. I do not know who this person is but she barks at me to get out. I stay silent and sink into the water.

'What a drag' I think to myself.

The person steps into the bath and glares at me. I hold her eyes for a moment but break eye contact. We sit there in silence and she begins to talk. I don't know what about and frankly I don't care too much. I pick up that she loves this guy, but she is scared to be with him. I don't reply to her and just wait for the timer to be up.

She asks a questions. I mumble "Follow your heart."

I click my tongue in annoyance. I really don't have time for any of this. People should care less about the relationships they build, they will all die anyway. I can feel I have about a minute before I can leave finally.

After a few hours I am back in the village.

It is nearly 2 am, I head straight for Kakashi's office to report to him. After an hour and a half of talking with him I finally head home, forgetting about the shoulder injury I had gotten from the leader. An injury that I should take care of, but I can feel my eyes becoming very heavy. Something that I cannot stop.

I walk in and see the hall light on, I turn it off and head to bed.

I change and collapse in bed falling asleep.


	18. Chapter 18: Groups Pain

**Chapter 18: Groups Pain**

I wake up to rustlings going on in the house. I roll over and look at the clock, it is only 10 am.

I sigh; wishing I could get more sleep this time instead of only a few hours after a mission I stay up for days on. This is a drag, nothing could be worse than a cranky ninja getting back from a mission.

Tenzo should know better than to make a lot of noise in the morning after I get back from a mission. I stay up for three days, something that people try to avoid. I don't even sleep for the longest time.

Yawning I roll out of bed. I stretch and walk out to the kitchen; I walk in expecting to be alone walking into the kitchen, only to find Tenzo and Shikamaru cooking. I take a step back a blink a few times, trying to understand what is going on. It's early in the morning and the two of them decided it would be a good idea to wake me?

Why are they cooking though? I thought that Tenzo would be out on a mission. And Shikamaru… well I don't know. Maybe asleep or working on something. I thought that I would be alone in the house like always.

Tenzo turns to see me, "Tooru! You're up. We made you breakfast. I hope your mission went okay?"

I nod and look over at Shikamaru. As though he can read my mind he shrugs his shoulders indicating that Tenzo went and got him this morning knowing when I would return from my mission. That is something that I never thought Tenzo would do, go and get someone. That person being Shikamaru, who I am working with on a mission.

Unless Lord Sixth is planning something to help me with my mission. Which could be possible. It would be the first time something like this has happened, I am very use to working alone that I don't remember the last time I worked with someone closely on a mission.

I sigh and go to sit down; I place my bubble up around the house, something natural for me to do. Tenzo looks cheery but I know that he is actually worried about me and that the mission is taking a toll on me. Shikamaru places a bowl of rice in front of me and I thank him for that. I watch Shikamaru sit across from me. Shikamaru looks… upset about being here.

I begin to eat the food. It does taste good though.

I am clearly annoyed with the two of them. Now I have to work around the both of them to get anything on this mission. Both of them are going to be troublesome, I can already feel it in my bones. Knowing me, I will probably have them kicked out of the house before dinner is even thought of.

But that may not be the case. I could enjoy having them around. I would like to enjoy people being around me. So far though that has not happened. I tolerate Shikamaru, Kiba and Tenzo at the moment. Though Naruto is getting up there.

I feel something approaching on the outskirts of the bubble. I don't know who's chakra that is. I narrow my eyes. Who is coming? Actually it feels like a group.

"Did you hear what I said?" I snap my attention to Tenzo; shaking my head. "Well, Kakashi is coming with everyone and lucky for you Gaara is also here. They should be here…"

"Now," I interject, Shikamaru looks at me puzzled, "My bubble around the house is back up. I can sense when anyone comes."

As though we have an understanding, Shikamaru goes to answer the door and I go into my bedroom to change out of my P.J.'s into my off mission cloths. I take more time though. I need to think this through.

What the heck is Kakashi planning to do with this group of ninja? He knows that this mission is highly sensitive to what I need to be doing. If too many people find out about what is happening the group could begin to act out. Which would not be good for anyone involved at the moment.

I sigh, I highly doubt it is anything good though. I place my pouch on the small of my back and walk down the hallway to the kitchen again. Still wondering what Kakashi has planned.

When I come out I see Naruto eating my food. I knock him on the head and grab my bowl of rice and sit by Shikamaru. I don't hesitate in sitting by Shikamaru, I should have stood by Tenzo.

I shake my head, that isn't important right now. What is that I need to know why these people are here.

The food was made for me so I continue eating. Tenzo worked hard to make food for me, so I should eat.

They all stare at me as though I just became a rouge ninja for hitting Naruto on the head. Though he was just eating my food, and if I remember you don't eat someone else's food. I don't pay it any mind though, I have to eat so I can try to get a few steps ahead of the group in question.

"Anyway," Kakashi says, breaking the silence, "Tooru, I want you to tell them everything. About the group and what you reported to me last night. They should not talk until you are done explaining everything."

I wonder what Kakashi is trying to do. I am usually working alone. Even just having Shikamaru as help is weird. But having all of them working with me.

It doesn't matter.

Kakashi just gave me an order.

I have to follow the order.

"Of course Lord Sixth," I set my food down, "This group has no name, and we have been calling them the copycat group. Only recently have their motive become clearer. They are not after the tailed beast anymore but are after powerful ninja that are not only specialized ANBU members and the generation of ninja that next to become Jonin. What they want to do is unclear though, we can only guess. And that is being debated," I pause and glance over at Shikamaru, "We have assumed though that they formed shortly before the Fourth Great Ninja War broke out. Therefore they used the war as a cover up to hide themselves. My guess is that they wish to steal your chakra…" I stop and grip my shoulder in pain.

I don't know what is going on. What kind of power is this? I feel my shoulder is on fire. But that can't be right.

Right there was a dull pain in it yesterday.

I forgot I had to go see Sakura about it.

"Tooru, are you okay?" Sakura gets up and walks over to me.

"I don't know, pain just shoot through my shoulder," I stop again and lean into Shikamaru since all my focus is on my shoulder.

This pain is intense. I feel like someone is trying to rip off my shoulder slowly so all the pain is through every muscle and joint. I grit my teeth together and try not to yelp in pain. Though that is easier said than done.

The pain though. I don't believe I have felt pain like this before. I should tell them the rest, ignore the pain. But that can't happen.

I feel healing chakra from Sakura, "Did you come in contact with any of the members."

"Yes," I say through pain, "he popped out of nowhere behind me and grabbed my shoulder before I jumped out of the tree."

Another surge of pain.

"A new jutsu?" Shino inquires.

"Possibly inflicts pain?" Neji chimes in.

"Tooru, what do you know about the man who came after you?" Tenten asks.

I take in a deep breath. I need to tell them. I was ordered by Kakashi to tell the about the group. This pain is intense though.

"Nothing, they never discuss their powers around each other, it is as though they talked about it when they formed." I say as another shot of pain and Shikamaru wraps is arm around my waist.

I can feel the healing from Sakura but it doesn't seem to be working all the way. I feel Shikamaru shift to where I am sitting on him. I close my eyes and I know that I shouldn't be acting like this. But the pain is very great.

"Stop talking, you will only make it worse," Sakura snaps.

"We need to come up with a plan of action," Temari declares.

I focus on what Sakura said. I can talk after I get healed. I don't know what else to do. There is a moment of silence. I can feel Shikamaru's arms around me. But the pain is greater.

"They meet again in two months," Kakashi says evenly, "They have two sensory type ninja. Tooru and Shikamaru will handle this. Lord Gaara, I would recommend you stay. I can explain more in my office."

"Sounds good since the chunin exam begin in about a week." Lord Gaara replies as he, Kakashi and Kankuro rise to leave.

I finally open my eyes. The pain has died down a lot. It's back to being dull. I know that there are too many things that can be going on. But right now isn't the time.

"Wait, Shikumaru and I are planning the chunin exams! I cannot plan it myself." Temari exclaims standing up, outraged.

"Saskue can finish up Shikamaru's duty," Kakashi states.

Temari snorts and sits back down. They leave as Tenzo goes after them to discuss something. Slowly the pain dulls in my shoulder and I can sit up right on my own. I sigh, things look like they are going to be interesting from here on out. Shikamaru keeps his arm around me.

"Now try to talk Tooru," Sakura softly whispers.

I slowly get up off of Shikamaru, "Well now that's done, we need to figure out what the next step is. I want Neji, Sai, and Shino to help Shikamaru and myself. Also, Saskue after the exams I would also like you to help us along with Gaara."

"Why them?" Lee asks.

"They can help plan our next move, plus they can actually focus on this," Shikamaru says reading my mind.

There is a moment of silence. I know that Shikamaru is trying to not pay attention. I even forgot that Temari was here. I don't even remember her coming in. I can still feel Shikamaru's arm around me.

I shake my head. No, this is between them. I only know because Shikamaru has told me about it. Nothing else.

So why do I feel… safe? Or is that pride? With Shikamaru's arm around me.

No. This is not the time. I need to move on. Focus on the mission and getting everyone ready for what will be a long planning session.

"Fine by me. Temari, let's go and finish the chunin exams preparations," Saskue gets up and begins to leave and Temari follows him.

I feel Shikamaru sigh beside me, I know he still has feeling for her. I only know this because we spend so much time around each other and I have told him a lot about myself. And Shikamaru has told me a lot about himself. So I know about how he feels for Temari.

I shake my head that does not matter at all.

Relationships are something that never last beyond a mission of maybe one or two interactions. Besides, Shikamaru had a date will I was gone, so he should stop mopping around and move on with his life or he will get killed. Worrying about others should never be a thing in the ninja world.

"So then Tooru want to go and train?" Naruto asks.

"Sure, good way to see you guys in action," I reply.


	19. Chapter 19: Capture the Flag

**Chapter 19: Capture the Flag**

We get to the training ground. I see that my hole in the post was never fixed. Kiba split since he had a date with his girlfriend. Which is upsetting since I don't know his fighting style. I know it in theory but not in practice.

Lee steps in front of the group, "Alright let's make this a competition between teams. Tooru you can join Shino and Hinata. We can play capture the flag."

"Lee, that's a great idea only none of us know what jutsu Tooru uses," Naruto says.

"I do," Shikamaru absently says and everyone looks at him, "We've trained together."

There is a pause. I know that it is odd. But Shikamaru is the only person I have trained with. So he knows how to counter me, at least a little. And he also knows that I hold back from some of my fighting styles.

"Then its fair Naruto," Shino says.

"What are the rules Lee?" Hinata asked.

"Right! There is one person who is the flag indicated by these papers I am handing out," Lee walks around and gives out a piece a paper to each team, "The first team with all four flags wins."

Everyone nods and groups together. I am unsure what this will accomplish but I can be sure that I will see some of them in action less then I would like. I sigh and look around to see that everyone is excited. I look at Shikamaru and he winks at as Lee throws up a paper in the air and everyone waits for the paper to hit the ground. The paper barely hits the group and everyone scatters.

I don't know what to expect. I know peoples fighting styles in theory. But I have no idea how they work. Which makes me nerves.

After a few meters Shino, Hinata, and I stop.

"Well, who wants to be flag?" I ask holding the paper.

"I will," Hinata takes the paper from me and places it in her pocket.

"Good, knowing everyone they will assume that I was picked to be the flag since you and Shino are better at fighting together. And since Shino can hide and fight, giving him the distance to move away and lead people into a trap. I would be the logical choice, the only one who would think different would be Shikamaru." I explain.

Shino and Hinata only look at me. I place my hand behind my head. I know I may have talked too much, but the choice to be the flag is logical. Though you can make an argument for all of the people in the group.

"Who should we go after first?" Shino asks.

"Let's go after Naruto's first since I have heard about him going in without thinking," I say, thinking, "Therefore the knuckle head would be reckless to have as a flag and Sakura would also be too obvious. So we can assume that Sai is the flag since we would not think about it and Sai can hide while Sakura and Naruto attack us and get the flag. Plus, Sai can defend himself if we don't know where he is. That or he will be coming after the flag to get them."

"Should we go get the flag then?" Hinata seems eager to go after them.

Right as Hinata asks we get ambushed by Naruto's group. Sakura and Naruto go after Hinata and Shino. As they fight Sai comes up behind me. He has some of his beast out and ready to attack. Should I use hand to hand? Yes, I will.

Sai doesn't know what I will fight with. It could be anything. But now I can fight with him and have an advantage.

After 30 seconds of fighting, I pin Sai down.

Quickly Hinata and Shino take out Naruto and Sakura, then I confirm that Sai is the flag. We move with Sai following to a new position. We should keep moving, since we don't want to be sitting ducks.

We stop after a little while. Hinata and Shino look ready to keep going. But here is where there should be a fight.

"Lee's group should be next. Neji and Lee would not be the flags, again with the distance. I can only assume since they tend to protect Tenten when they are teamed up even though she is okay fighting by herself. I'll stay here and guard Sai." I state looking at the clouds.

"LEE WAIT!" I hear Tenten shout.

Lee comes rushing out of the bushes with Neji following him. Lee decides to come right at me. Neji is trying to stop him and get him to follow the plan that the three of them had made. I sigh, such and easy attack to see past. I look right at Lee and know that countermeasures will be the best thing to take care of him. I spot Neji coming out of the bushes to try to stop Lee, bad move on his part.

"Leaf hurricane!" He yells.

I side step at the last second and grab his leg and swing him around and throw him at Neji. He hits Neji dead on and they both fall backwards when Tenten pokes her head out. Shino goes and grabs Tenten who turns out is the flag. Hinata and I tie up Neji and Lee. I sigh, both of them should know better than to go for a frontal attack against a ninja they don't know anything about.

"Wow Tooru, how did you beat them so fast?" Tenten asks.

"Simply by using Lee's loud attack against him by throwing him into Neji. It wasn't a hard attack to see past." I reply. I begin to move away from the boys to a new location.

"I guess you are the flag then Tooru?" Sai asks.

I shake my head as Hinata laughs and raises her hand telling them that she is the flag. Tenten and Sai look at each other in shock, neither of them expecting Hinata to be the flag. Something that I figured the teams would assume. With the little information that they have on me it would be logical for Hinata and Shino to protect me.

"So now Shikamaru's team." Shino says after we laugh for a bit, "Who is the flag Tooru?"

I pounder for a moment, "I would say Choji."

"Why do you think Choji?" Hinata asks, putting us at a stop in a clearing.

"Can you guys guess?" I reply

All four stop to think. They all look around, becoming lost in thought. I giggle and sit on the ground. We only need to wait for Shikamaru to strike. Which I know that he will go for a clearing. Knowing that his team has been following us, out of range so they have to figure out the flag. And by us talking about will confirm Shikamaru's thinking. I sigh, this is a lot easier than I would have thought to be honest. Besides they are taking a really long time to think about it.

"I still think it would be Shikamaru. He has the distance to stay away from the fighting." Hinata says.

"No Ino. Shikamaru would guard her and Choji can take on two people at once, therefore Ino would be the easiest to protect. Therefore making her the obvious flag." Sai interjects.

I grin, "Which is why Choji is the flag. We automatically look at the two distance fighters and overlook Choji and his ability to get away quickly. Making Choji the best option by far. It is like with the other groups, they made the obvious choice to have the flags, but we know how Shikamaru thinks, and he has a plan to gather all the flags in one go."

I hear a familiar sound, it is Shikamaru's Shadow Jutsu. I get up and jump off the ground. Then the Human Boulder comes through the clearing we picked. Everyone scatters, I notice I am the furthest from everyone which is what Shikamaru wanted. I land in the trees a few meters from everyone. Then team Shikumaru comes out from their hiding spot. I so called this.

I know that Shikamaru wanted me away. This is a good plan. We know how to counter each other.

"Thanks for collecting all of the flags for us!" Ino yells.

"The other teams are untying themselves now. Let's get this over with." I mumble.

I catch Shikamaru's eye and I can see he is having fun and forgot about Temari. I smile knowing that Naruto and Sakura are helping Neji and Lee out of their tie down they got. I smile knowing that this is helping everyone.

Maybe we should do one on ones, so I can really see their abilities. Besides this game lasted maybe five minutes. Something that does not give me time to know the extent of what this group can really do. I only know Shikamaru and that he uses his brains since he doesn't have a large amount of chakra to pull from.

"Shikamaru knows that you aren't the flag!" Choji yells at me.

I nod, "We know that it's Hinata, and now that you have all of the flags taking Shino out will be better since I can take you on," Shikamaru says.

"Are you sure you can take me on? I've beaten you every time before," I smirk.

There is a moment of silence. There is no movement, as though we are all waiting for something to happen.

I start to feel a tension, one that should never be there. The fun starts to disappear. A sense of urgency quickly fills the air and everyone freezes. I can feel someone behind me and I can feel four people moving at a quicker pace to get to us to help. This chakra feels familiar and I put up my bubble, knowing that someone is out there, lurking in the shadows and this chakra is not friendly.

"Tooru look out!" I hear Shikumaru yell from the other side.

I feel something flying at me, I move my head a few inches and a kunai passes my head. I jump from the tree, knowing that something bad is about to happen. I turn in the air to feel the leaders presence and see the hood on his head. This is bad, and nothing good is going to come out of this.

"This is a little present from the group to you spy," He grabs my shoulder and pulls me close to him. "It truly is a nice genjutsu that even you cannot break."

Time slows down. I can heard the footsteps of everyone, but the leader pulled me in for a kiss. There is more shouting as more people enter the field. He breaks the kiss and smiles to only vanish into mid-air. I feel dizzy and I cannot tell which way is up and which way is down.

Suddenly time speeds up and I am falling. Someone jumps through the air and catches me. I know that it is Shikamaru. He begins to bark orders to the others.

I know my senses are fading and I need to tell him that. I look up at him and see shock and concern on his face. He is talking and something stops him mid-sentence. A kunai is thrown and Shikamaru runs with me in his arms. He is saying something to me but I cannot understand what he is saying. I try to open my mouth but no words form. I see a tear coming from him and all I want to do is reach out and tell him I am fine, even though I am not. The horror on his face is great, I move my hand to his face but I cannot feel his face and I don't know if I am touching his face. He stops and sees my hand, I need to transfer the memories to him; about the leader and every moment after that has meaning. I can't feel any one around me, not even him. I can see him trying to come up with a plan.

That's when I finally think of a way to get him the memories. I put all my strength into pulling Shikamaru's face to mine. I press my lips to his and get my memories to him. I can tell something changes in him, the emotions that he felt for Temari, the love he felt for her seemed to melt away. They are replaced with new emotions and feelings for someone else. Only, I can't tell who they are for, but for some reason he may love this girl. More than he ever loved Temari, which was deep and true. These feelings are even more and would not be obvious to the person he has them for. But this is so I can tell him what is going on. I should not know what he is feeling.

"Shikamaru! Tooru!" someone yells, I cannot place the voice. I keep my eyes closed, for Shikamaru or I move away from each other. Our lips are still pressed together. "Shikamaru! Where are you?" The voice is closer.

Shikamaru breaks the kiss, "We are over here Hinata!" I lean into Shikamaru and fall asleep.


	20. Chapter 20: Dreams Parallel Reality

**Chapter 20: Dreams Parallel Reality**

Dreams come spatially then there is darkness. One moment I think I am about to wake up the darkness swallows me back up. This is a drag, I should be awake but I keep getting swallowed by the darkness.

I never feel like I am getting anywhere. The darkness is never ending.

I remember one dream though, Shikamaru and I were laying under our tree and talking.

 _Our tree._

What a weird thought.

But it's the tree we always go to talk. The tree where I started to trust Shikamaru. Where I really started to begin to build a friendship, the first true friendship that I have every had.

We were watching the cloud go by. There were so many out that it was almost sickening to watch.

I wasn't in my own body though, I was watching from the outside, as though I am a by stander watching these two teenagers fall in love with their laughing and inside jokes about something.

Falling in love? That is such an odd thing for me to think. Knowing me, I would have never believed it. I cannot hear what they are saying to one another but I know it's deep. Something that I have always longed for.

Do I actually have that with Shikamaru? Did I make those feeling with him?

I want that. I feel like I know what I want, but I also need to focus on what is important. And that is the thing… do I really want that? Yes I slightly do.

I shake my head and keep watching.

Naruto comes up to the tree with Hinata and they sit down and talk with the two kids. No, that's me and Shikamaru. They laugh and the scene changes to a night out at the fair in the Leaf.

Everyone is there and holding onto their partner. Shikamaru stays close to the other me's side, almost wrapping his arm around her. He pulls her face closer to his. Shikamaru pulls away as the rest of the group to boo. Shikamaru let's go and grabs her hand.

I feel the blush creeping up onto my cheeks. I want to be there, in that body by Shikamaru's side. Only I know that it is not possible because of the situation surrounding me.

There is an alarm, one that requires all jonin and ANBU to go protect the village.

Moments like this are the worse. She looks at Shikamaru and runs off, pulling me with her. Leaving Shikamaru alone. I don't know what happens to him But I can feel myself worrying about him.

We go to the main entrance of the village and see the copy group. She does not waver, knowing this is what she was born to do, protect the village. She is one of the first to respond to the alarm with a few others around her.

There is an exchange of words and then fighting. She dodges and fights but they begin to get the upper hand on her with each one focusing on double attacks and blocking her every move. No one else has come. The odds do not look good for her. They are surrounding her and she is breathing heavily. Eventually she is knocked out and I am again swallowed by darkness.

 **XX**

I wake up in my bed with Shikamaru asleep next to me. I see only the moon light, I look over at Shikamaru who is fully asleep. He looks so peaceful, and maybe even a little happy. I guess he must be having a good dream.

I look back up at the ceiling, becoming lost in thought. That dream. I wish I was in the body of other me. But isn't that where I am now? I am asleep next to Shikamaru. Someone who I have said I like only I have no idea if I really like him or not.

After a moment of looking at the ceiling I remember what happened and I shoot up, waking Shikamaru. I look around and try to find my kunai or shuriken but I can't. I need to defend myself, he could come at any moment.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, "Calm down Tooru. That person isn't coming back. And we figured out how to stop whatever they did to you. We went through every one, which was a drag, and figured out that I need to sleep in the same bed as you holding you or the jutsu takes effect. But some moments I just have to stay in a bubble that you put up, which helps me get up and I think you subconsciously realized that," Shikamaru explains in a sleepy voice.

"But what about if you have to go anywhere or…" I question.

I am worried that this will cause some trouble. There is a lot of things that can happen. Shikamaru could have gotten called away or even had to do something.

"Tooru, you've been asleep for three days, the times you were probably freaking out is when Naruto and Sakura would hold you down until I came back. I had to report to Kakashi at one point and everyone except Hinata was here trying to make sure you did not go and try to kill everything. Naruto and Kiba are very close to figuring out your past," Shikamaru yawns.

I look down at the blankets and mumble, "They… they are?"

"Yes," Shikamaru replies, "They know more about your clan and how you watched us when you were younger and the war."

I nod, "That's impressive, how did they…"

"By asking yes or no questions," Shikamaru chuckles.

There is a pause. I cannot look at him. I know that he has been here, for three day taking care of me.

I cannot remember the last time anyone ever did that for me.

Three long days of laying here next to me, doing nothing. I know I could not do that, but Shikamaru is a very different person than myself. Just the fact that the leader found me is hard to believe. I was an idiot for letting that happen and allowing him to get into the village. It should have never happened to begin with. I should have been ready for it.

Then I remember something else, I had to kiss him. I had to tell him something but I couldn't speak. But I don't think it was the right thing to do.

"I… I'm really sorry about kissing you…" I say, feeling very shy around him.

"Don't be so troublesome. You transferred memories to me. It helped," Shikamaru sits up and leans into me.

He rest his head on my shoulder and brushes my hair out of my face. I feel slight heat to my face. What is wrong with me? Getting frustrated by having Shikamaru close to me. That kiss was professional and meant nothing more. At least to me I hope.

But that dream… I wanted to be her.

No, that isn't what this is about right now. I shouldn't be thinking like this.

But the heat on my face would say anything else.

I need to change the subject.

"I felt something change in you…" I begin and never finish.

Shikamaru sighs, "Yes, Temari is a memory now," he pulls my chin up to look at him, "I feel something with someone new. I'm hoping it isn't a drag since I don't know how she feels about me."

"Why else are you here?" I ask, becoming lost in his eyes.

"This jutsu causes violent fits and physically tears your body apart, which is all healed. Even though I am with you, we don't know if you still have nightmares. Although telling by your reaction you are still having the nightmares," Shikamaru whispers.

I shake my head, "No, I remember what happened and the last thing I remember is kissing you and that someone was looking for us."

I know I am lying. I've never lied to anyone. But I don't think I should tell him. I don't want to. I said I don't remember the dream, but I remember it.

Shikamaru chuckles, "I'll explain more in the morning, it's late and we both need to sleep so we can also figure out what this group wants with us."

Shikamaru yawns and pulls me down next to him. I curl up and fall back asleep.


	21. Chapter 21: Feelings Become Warm

**Chapter 21: Feelings Become Warm**

The next morning I wake up in Shikamaru's arms. I look around and I know that we are in my room. I move out of Shikamaru's arms and go to get food. I move out of the room and into the kitchen. I sigh, there are so many things that are happening.

"Good day Tooru," Tenzo greets me.

"Hey, what are you making?" I ask.

"Some rice paddies. Would you like one?" He replies holding one out. I nod and Tenzo continues talking, "You know Tooru; that was scary, even for you. The leader isn't supposed to know who you are at all. Just the fact that he was able to find you must mean they are more of a threat than we all thought at first."

I take a bite, "I know, I think I know how he found out who I am though," Tenzo gestures for me to talk, "When he held on to my shoulder I was too startled to think about it but he tracked me; whenever I talked about him after an amount of time he could find me. That is why he never came after me in the first place, or even followed me to the Village. He knew I had to report and that if I had been spying for a while then I would need help. Finding out I was in the Leaf was a bonus since they had the least information on me out of all the specialized ANBU members that they are looking at. I felt him before he appeared and that only happens when there has been a transfer of chakra into the system."

"In simpler terms Tooru," Tenzo looks confused.

I sigh, "You know how I take peoples chakra whenever I touch them and copy their jutsu?"

"Yes," Tenzo says as he sits down.

"Well, he has a very specific chakra build up and it's a small one…" I see the look of confusion, "You have a very earthy chakra, such as Saskue has a darker one. Thinking back to him putting his hand on my shoulder he inserted chakra into me. Which normally works with tracking. He has a special tracking jutsu that is almost perfection since the caster only has to focus on his chakra. It is almost invisible to the person, unless you are someone that takes others chakra. Which is why I was put in pain before, he was trying to find me. If you had that happen, you would have never noticed it and might have felt a little weird and thought it was a bug. Only, you would have noticed too late. He didn't plan to kill me but make it to where I could not move so he could take me. Little did he know was that there was training going on. Once he got within a fixed amount of distance from me I could feel that unwanted chakra inside. All the others could feel it as well and prepared how they should have."

There is a silence. I know it is a lot of information to take in, but it's the best way I can explain it.

Tenzo ponders this for a moment, "So kind of like Shino's bug trick?"

"Yes, on a very basic level," I reply.

"Is the chakra still there?" Tenzo questions.

"I can feel it," I say, closing my eyes.

"How do we get it out?" Tenzo places a hand on the table.

"You don't," I state, "Look, I can take it into the chakra pool I have, that will cause the bond to stop and he can no longer track me. So long as he did not touch anyone else."

"Not that I am aware of," Tenzo give me a look of concern, "Will you taking in this chakra cause you pain?"

"It could, he will be aware that I am breaking the bond and that he will want to take me more than before," I look Tenzo in the eye and hold the eye contact.

Tenzo sits back and thinks about this for a moment, he looks everywhere and avoids looking at me. If I do decide to do this it will weaken my body a lot, allowing the jutsu to overtake me. Causing me to have the violent fits even when I am awake and it could last between seconds and days for it to finally stop, either way would be bad.

Another thing to worry about is him still being in the village. He knows specifically where I live and the training grounds that we use to train. Right now he isn't infusing chakra and now would be the best time to break the connection. Only, that puts me in a position where I could no longer put them in troubles way anymore. All the special ANBU are going to get taken out unless I can figure out what they want with us.

Which is something that needs to be figured out. They have information about all of us. Something that no one else should have. I am sure that Gaara is worried now about his person.

But I know that I need to take in this in. This chakra should not be in my system.

"You are thinking about breaking it, aren't you Tooru?" Tenzo gives me a father look I nod, "You know what that means? Staying low and trying to make sure that none of this copy group finds you. And that you would need to leave gathering the special ANBU members from their homes to try to fight these guys. And you know Naruto and Shikumaru would follow you."

"I know," I hear the crack in my voice, "But, what else am I supposed to try to do? Wait for them to attack and cause a full blow war again? I cannot let that happen Tenzo."

"Tooru, you are not thinking right…" Tenzo begins, "Look, we should take a day or two to maybe figure everything out and come up with a plan."

Tenzo gets up when the doorbell rings. I curl up into a ball. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't let the safety of the whole world be put on hold just because I made a few new friends. I don't think I should even think about what to do. I need to break the connection and work quickly before they make any more moves that are big like the Akatsuki. Once they become bigger there is no way that I could even think about to stop them, just like how Lady Fifth should have stopped them before so should Lord Sixth. This group, I can feel it in my bones that they are bad news. If only I knew what they could do than maybe, just maybe I could put a team together and stop them. But that would cause everyone to worry. I shake my head, why should I care about that? There is no way that I should even worry about just a small group but the village and the world as a whole.

"Tooru, Naruto is here," Tenzo pops his head around the corner and Naruto dismisses Tenzo.

"What do you want?" I ask, a little cold.

"I wanted to see if you were alright and that you kicked butt a few days ago," Naruto smiles.

"What is the real reason Naruto, I am not in the mood for this," I snap.

The smile fades and Naruto sits in front of me, "I think I understand what you were talking about. Lord Third was a jerk. I never noticed you watching us ever Kato Tooru, but Saskue vaguely remembers you along with a few others. And I also don't think any one of us can fully know how lonely you were until a few weeks ago with talking to Shikumaru. Kiba and I are so close to finding out what happened with the jutsu, and we know why he did it. I believe it was since you were younger than anyone else and he didn't want you to say anything. Sai went through the same thing in the foundation."

I look at him, "I… I don't know how you learned all of that."

"Don't ask why or how. We want to know you and you should be able to tell your story," Naruto explains.

I look away, not ready for whatever is about to happen. I need to break the jutsu and get started. Tell Lord Sixth and send word to the other villages so we can make sure everything is good to go. Maybe with others in ANBU we can finally figure out what is going on. I do not have time to think but I have to act. I have done enough planning am I have a great idea of what is going on. No one will miss me and they will all be forced to forget that they ever met me in the first place.

"Don't try it Tooru," I heard Shikamaru from behind me.

"Why not?" I mumble.

"It won't work under the situation, maybe breaking will help but finding the others will not fix anything. You are upset and normally only think of the village and not people you care about. I understand that but we all need to think this through and how to get rid of this threat before it grows," Shikamaru reasons through.

"How would I do that," I retort.

"First off, stop over thinking it," Shikamaru holds up his hand, "Second, don't do anything rash. Third, let us help you. We wanted to have a planning session with or without you. Only now you are going to join since you have the most information on this group than the rest of us."

I glare at Shikamaru, unable to respond since I am still really tired. Naruto gives out a nerves laugh. Right than more people enter my house and I get up and change. I sigh, no one in their right mind should know this much about one person. I am annoyed by Shikamaru. What does he even think he is doing?

I walk out see Shikamaru finishing up some food while talking, "That has to be what is going on, Tooru come and sit down."

I walk over and sit where I normally sit and Shikamaru brings me a glass of water. I cross my arms in front of my chest and try very hard to not look like I am sulking.

"As I was saying, those are what we have so far for what we can do. If anyone can think of anything else that could help feel free to chime in," Shikamaru takes a seat next to me and I finally see that everyone is here including the sand siblings.

"Tooru, what ANBU do they know of?" Gaara asks.

I pause for a moment, trying to remember, "The one who disappears from life."

I see Gaara's eyes widen ever so slightly. I know that Gaara was not ready to know that the highest ninja in his village had been discovered. I look and see Temari looking between Shikamaru and I. She has a small smile playing across her face. I look away and meet Gaara's eyes.

"Kakashi was right, the one ninja no one should know about," Gaara sits back and thinks.

"That's the problem Lord Gaara, it is still unclear what they want with everyone. Why would they go through all the trouble of finding out about these special ANBU members that only the leaders of each of the villages knows about? Not only that, but what they want with the most high level jonin and ANBU member out in the ninja world," I say, unamused.

"Which is why everyone is here Tooru," Shikamaru directs at me.

"Well, maybe they want the chakra?" Lee asks.

"That is possible, like with the tailed beast," Neij states.

"You two know that will never work. If they want chakra than they need the tailed beast. They have the most chakra in the world. Only no one wants a repeat of the Fourth Great Ninja War since that lady almost took everyone out," Naruto chimes in.

They debate about it some more.

I know that they won't find the answer. I go over the information in my head again.

There are two sensory type ninja and one that can transfer chakra into a person's body and track them. Not to mention the leader can also cast genjutsu, my guess on that one is that it is more chakra control.

Long distance and messing with people's heads is what he does best. What is the most logical explanation for the other eleven members? The one from the sand must control wind or sand. They each have to have a purpose for forming. Would they have a master of puppets in the group?

No the only master is sitting in the room with me. But I also need to know how old they are. Age could affect the dynamic of the group and what they want out of life. Older would want us to maybe go back to the old ways, yet an older group would think there is no way that ages will ever change.

Why is this so hard? They have to want something, no matter how small it is, they want something out of this.

Maybe they have a common goal, only what is it? None of it makes sense. Even the larger details and information do not have any correlation what so ever. It could be to gain great power. Or even to start a new village to rival the five great Nations. Only what would that have to do with the smaller villages that they have members from? Would they really be planning for that?

A plan to create a new village.

Only the majority of the land is already divided up and no one wants to budge on making new boundaries. Could it be to gather more information? Only why would they? They have the members and they seem to be getting info on their own very well.

Wait, specialized ANBU members know everything about their kages and the village they live in. Along with being able to retain the information learned on missions even greater. Meaning that the specialized ninja could be used as puppets, calling for a puppet master. Or even a master at getting intel. Which explains one aspect of the part. These ninja could be used as puppets, But what kind of puppets.

But that does not explain their goals or what they even want with everyone. There are too many places to assume and assuming can cause deaths. Maybe I could try to connect with the chakra and get into the leaders head and pull information out of him. Only, I know he would feel it and be put in pain like I was when he was tracking me. That would raise red flags all over the place for both sides. But how else are we going to get information out of them? I don't even know who the spy is in our village.

That's our key. Getting the spy in the village.

Why don't we trap him? We could pull the information out of him. But how can we get him is the next question. At any moment they could have taken me away and gotten me on their side. But they haven't they are wanted to make sure we are fully isolated from the public. Maybe build up a bad picture of the village once we are far enough away?

Getting the spy is the best option.

A trap would be perfect to get him out of the shadows.

"Wait," I say stopping Tenten's argument for why it's some way, "Why don't we set up a trap?"

Shikamaru looks at me, "Were you even listening to anything we were saying?"

All of them look at me. I didn't know I should have been listening. Everything they have probably said I already came up with and discarded.

I shake my head and Naruto burst, "We are trying to help you Tooru!"

"Look, everything you guys have said I have already come up with a million times. Tenten was talking about how they could be wanting to summon us and sacrifice us to gain power with something," I look at Tenten who nods, "What we can do is try to find the rat in the village."

That's when everyone pauses. They didn't think of a rat or that they were important enough. They were looking at the group as a whole.

"What do you mean Tooru?" Neji asks.

"We use my file as bait to get this ninja to come out," I reply.

That's when Shikamaru gets is, "And that means we can get whoever it is into intel and Ino can get information out of him."

"Yes, meaning we could know their motive," I nod at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru and I only look at each other and we can see that a plan is starting to form between the two of us. We need no words but only the smallest change in the face and we know that the plan is being formed. I can see the plan is forming and it is quick to become elaborate. It goes through the moment by moment and how each person could help.

We both stand up, "That's it!"

We look around and see the confusion on every ones faces. We look back at each other and smile. We know exactly what the other is thinking, and we can see we are on the same page.

"Explain please," Shino asks.

Shikamaru opens his mouth to explain but I cut in, "We shouldn't say anything so we do not raise any red flags with the rat don't you think?" I look over at Shikamaru.

"You're right Tooru, Tell them what they need to do one on one and let everything happen from there," Shikamaru finishes.

I give Shikamaru a look and we both know that it is the best plan by far and we know the three most likely moves of the rat. We also understand that each friend will be willing to follow Shikamaru and maybe even me. But for this plan to work we need everyone to listen to Shikamaru and I.

Shikamaru looks around at everyone and I follow his gaze. I can tell that their faces are trying to figure out if they should follow us or not. I can only hope that they follow us and help us with this kind of crazy plan.

"I'm in," Naruto says as he stands up.

"So am I, good chance to show off," Kiba follows.

One by one each person stands up, willing to help. The last two people to stand up and are actually still sitting down are Temari and Neji. Both are looking around at everyone standing up. Temari's expression lands on Shikamaru and Neji's lands on me.

I look at Shikamaru and he looks at me. I look at Neji and nod my head for him to follow me. We walk outside and sit on the porch.

"You have doubts?" I ask.

"Not really, I trust Shikamaru and now that I know a little more about you I can trust you more. I only want to know is if you and Shikumaru end up making something about-" Neji starts.

"What do you mean…" I shift a little.

"There was a change in him wasn't there?" Neji questions and I nod my head, "And how he looks at you is how he looked at Temari for years until everything turned sour. But lately he has almost the same look for you Tooru."

Why is this being brought up? This has nothing to do with the mission.

Right, Neji is being a friend to Shikamaru. Neji is looking out for Shikamaru.

"Why would he feel that way about me? I'm someone who came into his life and he was roped into helping me. We might not even talk after this…" I trail off.

Neji chuckles, I snap my attention to him, "I'm sorry but you really don't know how to read people do you?"

I do too. I know when someone is lying and how to catch someone hiding important information about an important mission. I can read people.

"Yes I do," I say, confused.

"No, you can't even see that Shikumaru likes you Tooru…" Neji starts

"SHIKAMARU!" we hear everyone yell.

I pause. I don't like the sound of that. If Shikamaru just told them about plans, plans that could go wrong if one person is out of place than everything can go sour.

But I am also scared that… well I don't know what I am scared about.

"Maybe we should go back in there…"I say as I get up, but Neji grabs my hand to stop me, "Why? We need to make sure that…" I stop with what I was saying.

Neji only looks at me, knowing I was mostly trying to make sure that Shikumaru is okay, "My point is being made. Tooru, what do you feel for Shikamaru?"

"I…I don't know…." I stammer.

"Yes you do. I know that you know Tooru, maybe you are only scared to admit it," Neji pauses, "But it is been shown most the last few days while he has been taking care of you."

I ponder this for a moment while there are screams and claps coming from inside, "You and Temari planned this didn't you?"

Neji simply nods, "Yes, we both had our suspicions and Temari wanted to make sure that Shikamaru could move on."

"So this whole time… you guys were…" I try to process this thing.

"No, it's only been recent since we have seen how happy he has been when you are calm in him arms. Every time he had to do something there was a pain in his eyes along with worry. When he came back after reporting to Kakashi he ran in and saw you freaking out; he cleared the way and only held you. Within a matter of minutes you calmed down and Sakura and Ino were able to finish healing your wounds. He worries more about you than anyone else I have ever seen, but we all just stayed to talk to him. If you moved in a way he would stop mid-sentence and look at you. Just a bunch of little things he would do that we have never seen him do and Temari saw all of it," Neji stops, "You know Tooru, at first I did question you but now I see a great person who has always been alone. Much like Naruto and Saskue and Lee. Lee hates talking about it, but when he meet Tenten and I he was happier than he had ever been. He did become a great jutsu user, and that was the best thing for him."

They watched all of that happen? They all saw what was going on when I was asleep. Shikamaru made it sound like he was forced into doing it. I don't understand what is happening. I don't get friends.

But I do get that Neji is trying to help out.

I slowly nod, "yes, I understand. Only, I cannot understand how Shikamaru feels."

"Why is that Tooru? Don't you feel the same way for him?" Neji asks.

"Well," I ponder this for a moment, "I sometimes don't know how I feel about him. I mean sometimes when I see him I get flustered and I can feel myself blush. And when he's gone at times I want to see him. But other times he frustrates me to no end."

"That sounds like Tenten and I," Neji begins to laugh, "She and I get into fights but other times we miss each other a lot when one or the other was on a mission."

"You must love her a lot," I say.

"I do, honestly I wat to ask her to marry me, only I feel like it's too soon. But one day, I will marry her," Neji's face brightens up when he talks about Tenten.

We sit there in silence for a few moments, knowing that everything was said.

Do I have strong feelings for Shikamaru? Yes I do. I always have and spending the last few weeks with him have been better and the feeling have only grown for him. But then there was the whole thing with Temari and him missing her, now that he doesn't love her… what does that mean for us? Do I even have a chance or did another girl steal his heart. There are many girls that he talks to that have a thing for him. And he talks to them as well and even went on a date or two with some of them.

I shake my head.

Relationships are unimportant in a situation like this. But I can't help but wonder what is going on. I feel safe around Shikamaru, but I am starting to feel safe around the others as well. But Shikamaru is different. And the dream… I was jealous of myself.

"You know he has a crush on you right?" Neji asks, breaking the silence.

I look at Neji shocked, I shake my head. Neji looks away and up at the clouds, becoming lost in thought. Maybe I should really start to mind when he and I flirt. I over looked it and thought he only saw me as a friend. I sigh, this is a drag, I wish I never can in contact with any of them.

"I never noticed before… I knew how much he wanted Temari and I only wanted to be his friend," I say, bringing Neji out of thoughts to look at me.

Neji sighs, "Maybe you two didn't even notice how close you two were getting until you already felt it. For sure it creeps up on you. With Naruto, he never knew he loved Hinata until a mission. And Saskue never knew with Sakura until he saw her again in the war. It just hits people sometimes. Like it hit Shikamaru when you kissed him, he wasn't expecting you to do that."

"I don't know if I'm in love with the kid…" I mumble, causing Neji to chuckle.

"Maybe he loves you," Neji states simply.

"Maybe. We should go back in though Neji; we do have things to talk about," I say.

"No, they will come and…" Neji starts.

The door opens to Shikamaru and Tenten standing there waiting, "Hey Neji," Shikumaru greets, "Tooru."

"Hi," I reply shyly.

"Neji you and I need to go in, we have a few plans and we want to see how much on the same page Tooru and Shikamaru are on," Tenten explains.

"Alright," Neji stands up and follows Tenten inside.

Shikamaru takes the seat that Neji had been in and we sit there for a few moments. We don't even look at each other, we look at the clouds forming. Maybe we should only discuss strategy and nothing else. Feelings aside, we need this mission to go well.

A mission that was assigned first by Lord Sixth. A mission that I cannot fail him in. I need to know what is the full plan. And double check to make sure Shikamaru and I know about what everyone's role is going to me.

"The plan," I say, breaking the silence.

"Have it on the Hokage's desk and it be a fake with information about you," Shikamaru starts.

"And have the group talk about it with people who match the profile of the rat from what I saw on my mission," I continue.

"Lead him or her to the file," Shikamaru says.

"Take them down, already charged with treason and get information out of him," I finish.

We look at each other, both knowing that is not why they put us out here, everyone already knew that we were on the same page about the plan. It was the best on by far for everything else that we had thought of in that moment. We know the basics and we understand how the group will react to everything going on and trust the plan. I raise and eye brow, knowing that the others are listening in as I move my head to the door. Shikamaru gets it and understands my plan to mess with them.

"So, what did they tell you in the house," I ask.

"Well, what the plan was, and I wouldn't tell them," Shikamaru replies.

"Why did you do that?" I question, trying to sound angry.

"You told me not to!" Shikamaru exclaims with a grin on his face.

"I didn't tell Neji anything!" I say back, also smiling.

"There were some other thing," Shikamaru silds in. "Such as anyone that I might want to be with."

I raise an eyebrow. This is taking an interesting turn of events. But messing with friends is okay right?

"Oh, and who would that be?" I question.

"I don't know, they kind of beat around the bush," Shikamaru slides over a little bit.

"Really, Neji was talking about relationships too. It was cute to watch he talk about Tenten," I retort, I hear some awes from the other side of the door.

Shikamaru and I pause for some laughter, we both need it and it was a good moment. I know that Neji doesn't seem to show a lot towards Tenten but he told me how much he loves her. Besides I needed to pay him back in some way.

After we start to chuckle Shikamaru continues, "Well, I think I have an idea of who it is though." Shikumaru slide over again.

"Really? I can only assume who Neji was talking about but-" I start.

"We know how I feel about assuming things," Shikamaru and I say in unison.

We smile at each other and I see that Shikamaru's arm is brushing up against mine. Smooth, he has been getting closer to me by each sentence and laughter. I don't mind him being close to me at all though. In fact, I welcome it from Shikamaru. I love waking up in his arms and watching him laugh. I enjoy our deep conversations and our ability to discuss strategy with each other. I love that there is someone who can finally beat me at shogi and yet I can still beat him. Someone who can help me through my past and I can hopefully help his. I know that I can be human and that I no longer have to be alone. I look into Shikumaru's eyes and become lost in them.

All I can think about is kissing him. I feel my eyes go wide at that thought. I feel embarrassed for thinking something like that. I look at him and focus on him.

He feels the same way, I can see it in his eyes. As though we have a mutual understanding we lean in and actually kiss. I feel my senses explode, I know that the feelings are for me. We both know what the other person talked about when we were separated and our friends finally pushed us together.

After a few moments we break the kiss and only smile at each other. I hear whispering at the door, mostly a 'what is going on?' thing.

"You're such a drag," we both say. After that we break out laughing and get up to go inside.

We open the door the Naruto and Lee being hit in the nose. Shikamaru and I walk hand in hand knowing that everyone would already know. Both smiling and looking at each other as our friend cheer.

"Anyway, back to business," I say walking away from Shikamaru, "This plan needs everyone to focus and follow everything that we say." I wait for everyone to nod before I continue, "Alright, there are going to be groups as followed; Gaara, Sakura, and Choji group 1. Group 2; Shino, Temari and Lee. Group 3; Saskue, Hinata and Kankuro. Group 4; Sai, Tenten, and Naruto. Group 5; Neji, Ino and Kiba. Group 6; Shikamaru and myself. This groups are going to be trailing different suspects which hopefully I can get to 5," I walk around handing paper to Gaara, Shino, Saskue, Sai and Gaara, " These are times you will come back here today so I can explain your part. You ae all dismissed," I say as I hold the door open.

After everyone exits I turn and run into Shikamaru's chest, "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"

I cuddle into his chest, "I don't know, I feel like my shoulder might put me in pain though." I say wrapping my arms around him.

"Do you feel that way?" he asks.

"Yes, the chakra is building up inside me, I know it is and he is trying to track me," I bury my face in his chest.

"What do we do?" Shikamaru pushes.

"Wait, see if he tries to track me," I mumble.

We stand there, only holding each other. The worry begins to set in, what if I don't come back? What if the rat is the leader? We have more work to do and finding out what the rat is. I know that Lord Sixth is trying as hard as he can to let people know about me, not that I am ANBU. Only, it's kind of working. This feeling is so weird to me and I have no idea how to handle it.

I feel the pain in my shoulder, and I lean into Shikamaru. Knowing that he will understand that I am in pain.

"He's coming, isn't he?" Shikumaru asks right away.

I simply nod and Shikamaru picks me up and sets me in a chair. There is a knock on the door. Hopefully it is Ino or Sakura's group.

"Hey Ino, hey Choji," Shikamaru greets. He leads them into the living where I am holding my shoulder.

"Tooru, are you okay?" Ino asks as she walks over to me.

"No, the leader is tracking her. We need to get everyone together so in case he comes out we can all be there and guard Tooru just in case," Shikamaru explains.

I feel Ino healing my shoulder, yet I do not speak.

"That's a good idea Shikamaru, and you pull aside each group," Choji inquires.

"Yes, good idea Choji," Ino chimes in.

"And this gives Tooru a chance to see everyone in action since she wants to fight everyone knowing what they struggle against the most and that evenly matches them," Shikamaru yawns as he says this.

"Alright, Shikamaru you take her and Choji and I will get everyone ready to go," Ino states.

The pain in my shoulder stops, and I know I am no longer being tracked, "We should move training locations though. This way he does not know where we are," I say.

"Where will we go?" Choji asks, confused.

"Outside the boarders of the village in a clearing that we could watch and you guys can understand how she fights," Shikamaru explains for me.

Choji and Ino nod, understanding.

"Let me put some chakra in you so you and only follow any trail Shikamaru and I take," I put my hand to Ino's head and give her a map along with a little chakra that creates a trail.

Ino only looks at me in amazement, "I can see your chakra perfectly."

"Yes, this allows for me to leave a visible trail of my chakra so you can follow it. I also put a map in case I have to cut off my chakra because of the leader following me. But I can also know where you guys are in relation to me," I explain.

"Alright, sounds like a plan," Choji grabs Ino and they leave out the door.

Shikamaru stands in the middle of the room, looking at the door. He sighs and moves over to me and sits on the floor, thinking about training. Maybe about how this could end badly, how each one of the one on one battles could case something to happen. Or even for the leader to find me out. I put a hand on Shikamaru's shoulder. He grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze; he looks at me. I know that he is worried but he and I know what to do if something happens. We get up and go to the clearing for training.


	22. Chapter 22: Remembering Hidden Info

**Chapter 22: Remembering Hidden Information**

Shikamaru and I are sitting in the clearing, discussing each group's part. I know that there are some problems with the plan as a whole, since I came up with it on the fly. I normally have a few days to plan this kind of thing.

But I know Shikamaru is good about changing things quickly. But I can't help but worry about these things.

"I am still worried about Naruto and Lee, they tend to overdo it with everything they do," I voice my concern.

"But both girls in the groups have a natural act to stop the two of them from getting out of line with this, plus we are putting them in two different areas which means that they have no way of getting in trouble," Shikamaru counters.

"True. I think Kiba's group will be good with the specialty shop, I got an odd feeling about that guy. Besides Neji can see if anything is weird about that guy," I sigh.

Shikamaru only looks at me. After a moment he speaks again, "Are you sure about baiting yourself?"

"Yes," I reply simply.

I look up at the cloud and lay down in the dirt. I know that I am one to normally do everything by myself. I understand Shikamaru's concern about me baiting myself but it has to be done. I hear Shikamaru sigh and get up. This is a drag, bringing other's into the fight is normally not my style.

"There is one problem though Tooru," Shikamaru says.

"What would that be Shikamaru?" I ask.

"Neji's group. Kiba and Neji will start to fight and Ino will not help with that," Shikamaru has a tone of not wanting to go through with the plan.

I sit up and look at him as I talk, "Look, Shikamaru there is a reason why they are all in certain places. The five people we are looking at visit these places often. I set word ahead to Lord Sixth that way we could set this up quickly. I understand your worry but this is getting a little crazy. They are all trained to do this kind of thing or else none of you would be jonin or being looked at for ANBU. These cause the least suspicion and they will all fight well together. Stop worrying."

Shikamaru stops and ponders this for a moment, "And what about you and me?"

"We are going to be hiding in the Hogakes office," I retort, maybe a little harsher than I should have said.

He looks at me and looks toward the village as everyone enters through bushes. I sit up to face them. Everyone looks excited and ready to go. I sigh and finally stand up next to Shikamaru. Naruto look the most excited since we never got the full chance to fight.

"Well," Naruto steps forward, "I want to be your first opponent"

"Sorry Naruto I want to start off with Neji," I say and I point over to where Neji is at, "And Shikamaru is going to talk to group 2 a few meters that way." I nod my head toward Shikumaru who waves.

Neji is in front of me when I turn back, he is smiling and also ready to spar against me. I jump back and signal for him to come at me. Neji does air palm and I transport away from it. Behind him I hit his back and move back away from him. He looks around and I hear gasps from everyone. I smile a little since I haven't been able to fight anyone in a long time.

"What did you do?" Neji asks, confused.

"Why should I tell you?" I retort back.

I transport again, away into a tree. I see him using his eyes to try to find me in anyway. I lower my chakra output again and spread it out. I am getting excited. I know though that I should not go all out on them.

"See, you aren't the only one with a cool thing," I whisper when I pop up next to Neji. I transport to a tree and watch him again, "You talk a lot when fighting as well Neji."

I move from behind him as he turns around trying to strike me with gentle fist. I move to trees and lower my chakra output so he cannot tell where I am so easily. I whisper more things to him as I pop up around him. After a few moments he knows I create a pattern and I break it. I end up hitting him into a bunch of trees. He is sent flying from a few seconds and I can see he understands the implications of the position he is currently in.

"I fold," Neji says holding his head.

"Alright, next is Gaara," I say.

Gaara steps forward and automatically has his sand shoot forward to me. I put water on the sand to make it mud. While I flip backwards I infuse chakra into the water to act as I would like it.

"You use your sand, but it's harder with this water jutsu," I say, charging at him.

I begin trying to take him out with my fist but he blocks me. I smile, knowing that normally long distance fighters rely on staying hidden that they don't look at hand to hand. Which is where they mess up a lot. Eventually his sand comes back and I use water to move it. I remember that he looked into being able to fight hand to hand which is why he became the person he is today. I water is countering his sand quickly and might be moving a little faster.

"She didn't make any hand signs!" Naruto exclaims. His statement is followed by murmurs and more shouting.

Gaara and I look at each other and know that they are both more defense than anything. His sand comes at me and is hit but the weighted water. He releases his gore only to find it also has the water in it. I run to him and quickly take him down without having to ask any questions.

"I know when I am backed into a corner. I fold," Gaara says.

"Alright, group 3," I hear a yawn and know that it is Shikamaru.

"And now for Kiba," I say.

I hear Kiba snort and comes to the middle of the clearing. We both wait, and him and Akamaru start fang over fang. As they approach me I sink into the ground, ready for anything. This pattern keeps going. At one point I hop into a tree and wait for him. He attacks and never thinks ahead with his moves unless he is running low on chakra.

"You have a shorter attention span and an even shorter temper," I melt away when he tries to attack me and pop up in the middle of the group watching, "And I know you would never attack your friends. You may have a short attention span but even you aren't that dumb."

Everyone scatters and I sink into the ground. While they are looking for me a grab Akamaru and put him to sleep. He will wake up as soon as Kiba folds. Normally, I would have killed the dog but its to test abilities.

"What the hell!" Kiba yells

"It's okay Kiba, he is only asleep," I explain, "Ino and Sakura can look after him and tell you he is only sleeping."

Kiba charges at me and I sink him and I into the ground, "I fold," Kiba mutters, clearly upset.

"Don't worry Kiba, this is the type of opponent is the hardest one for you. You lasted longer than you would have a few weeks ago. You should be proud of the fact that you almost hit me and pushed your limits," I tell him, pulling both of us out of the ground.

Kiba looks at me and growls. But Akamaru runs up to him and wags his tail, causing Kiba to smile. I crouch down and pet Akamaru who nuzzles up to me in response. I laugh and stand up.

"Choji, you are up," I say.

Choji walks away from the group to me. He stops and expands. I take note of this and shrink to where no one can see me. I see Choji is confused, along with everyone else.

"Where did you go Tooru?" Choji ask.

I crawl up his leg and to his shoulder after he shrinks down to his normal side.

"Why, I'm right here Choji," I whisper in his ear. He tries to hit me but I move too fast for him, "Awe, I am too fast in this form Choji. This is the hardest jutsu for you too face, since you cannot see them and they move too fast for you."

After a few moments I grow and hit Choji and he holds up his hands.

The process repeats, each one tries but never gets past step one. By this point Shikamaru finishes with each group and just sits and watches me. I can hear him chuckling. I know that he is amused by everyone getting beaten. I know I am having fun, this is something that has never happened to me since Itachi.

At one point I feel something hit the bubble that I have placed. I know I cannot stop since I cannot place the time they have been watching us, but I know for a fact this could be good or bad for us in the clearing. At least everyone is here and can fight if need be.

"Alright, Naruto you are up," I say after Ino's match.

"FINALLY!" Naruto yells.

Naruto approaches me and goes straight into sage mode with the nine-tails chakra. I also go into a sage mode, cat sage mode. Something that I have been wanting to go into for a long time. This is something that I never get to use.

"What?!" Naruto exclaims.

"You aren't the only one who can do sage mode. I trained for this one," I tell him.

He charges at me. I quickly move around him and move at speeds even greater than Lee. Naruto has a hard time keeping up with the movements. We dance for a little bit. I can see Naruto is getting frustrated by what I am doing. I get behind him and hit him on the head. I quickly move and make hand signs for a clone. I need to get to the bottom of this.

"Awe come on let one of us beat you!" Naruto yells as I vanish again. I can hear Shikamaru chuckling again.

"Nope, I have to test you guys. This is how I can see what you guys can do, and though each battle is short they give me a lot if information on what your limits are. So far this have been good," I say, almost too robotic.

Naruto comes at me again, I dodge and go into a tree while a clone does all the work for me. I sit in the tree and only watch. I sigh and get up, getting ready to leave for the person watching us. He is good, I will give him that. Even so, he is no match for cat sage mode, it is too quick and I am not even pairing it with anything. I feel someone next to me though.

"This is cheating you know," Shikamaru appears beside me.

"It is to see how fast he figures things out, that clone isn't a perfect copy of me, there are differences that even Naruto should see," I reply calmly.

"When did you ever switch?" Shikamaru asks.

"When I first hit him in the back," I say, watching my clone make moves.

"I don't know if anyone but me has noticed," Shikamaru looks down at the group, oblivious to us in the tree.

I chuckle, "You are the only person who can see through anything that I do."

"Naruto, that's a clone!" Saskue yells from the group.

"Huh?" Naruto turns away from the clone and looks around, "hey that's unfair!"

I jump down from the tree, "I wanted to see how you receive information. Clearly you are a little slower but faster than when you were younger."

We fight for a bit but I pin Naruto and he folds. I still have the feeling of someone watching us in the shadows. I need to finish this soon so we can all look for whoever is watching and see what they know.

"Well, that's everyone," I mumble.

"No fight Shikamaru!" Kiba yells from the back. There are nods and yells of agreement from everyone in the group.

"You guys really want to see this?" I ask.

I look over at Shikamaru who is walking over to me, looking really bored out of his mind. I glance over and everyone is waiting for us to start fighting. We cannot waste any more time though. Whoever this person is knows a lot of things I can do and that is normally forbidden for others to know.

"This is a drag Tooru," Shikamaru states.

"I have a bad feeling about this Shikamaru," I say as he is passing me. I try to hint at the fact that something is wrong and I keep my voice low so no one else can hear us.

This stops Shikamaru in his tracks, "Why do you say that?"

"I have this feeling that we are no longer alone out here, in fact we are being watched. They are outside of the bubble I placed. That's why I sent a clone to fight Naruto, I wanted to try to find out who is watching us. Only you came over, now I have to tell you this," I reply.

"Should we warn the others?" Shikamaru asks.

"No, whoever is watching is a spy. Just maybe the rat that we are looking for. Only this feeling goes way beyond that. Plus, if I fight you there's a feeling that you won't be able to calm me down when I am sleeping or if I decide to break the chakra line," I glance around. Trying to come up with any reason not to fight anyone else today.

Shikamaru ponders this for a moment as though understanding what I am trying to do, "Well, that would be a drag. So should we try to get the spy out and figure out what they want with us?"

I nod, "That would be the best thing to do."

"I have one question Tooru," I nod for Shikamaru to talk, "how did you figure out that someone was here? Not ever Kiba has done anything."

I pause, forgetting that not everyone is a tracker, "they have a low chakra output, only I can feel it since sensing chakra is how I keep everyone straight in my head."

Shikamaru looks at me quizzing, and I know that I have not explained this very well. Explaining things are not my strong point, I like to get straight to the point and think everyone else can keep up with me. I sigh again and try to figure out how to explain this to him without giving him a headache.

"Look, Saskue has a dark chakra you have a lazy chakra not being fully tapped. Kiba has a chakra that is bigger than he can chew. This person naturally has a low output of chakra or has trained to do so. This is one of few ways to stop someone like Kiba and Akamaru from finding them. Only, you have someone who knows all about chakra and can find them. Since that is the case we need to bring this person out," I explain.

Shikamaru nods, "Well how are we going to do that?"

"I have a plan, follow my lead and don't clue them in. Ino and Choji will understand since you guys work together a lot," I respond.

Shikamaru walks away, as though he is mad at me. He knows that is what I want. I storm off in the way of the spy. Hopefully no causing any attention. I walk into the bushes and I can finally feel the chakra that is looming outside of the first bubble I placed. Shikamaru is to keep attention while I sniff out the rat. The chakra is an energetic; one that I have not connected with before. I slow my pace down and lower my chakra, focusing on the spy's chakra. It almost is like Naruto's before he found out about the nine-tails. Full of life and energy, I can almost see no darkness. But it is darkness that is normal in every person. I climb up the tree to feel that the person has moved away from the place. I focus on the chakra and follow them.

Jumping from tree to tree and I that they moved into a bush to hide. I stop in front of the bush and cross my arms when I see the scarf.

"Konohamaru, what are you doing?" I ask.

Konohamaru pops his head out, "I wanted to train with you guys!"

"Well, you could have just come out and asked us," I reply.

"It looked like you were busy…" he trails off, almost embarrassed.

"Just some training Konohamaru. You are more than welcomed to join," I step aside and let him lead us back.

"So, who are you anyway?" Konohamaru questions.

"Oh, I'm Tooru. I am working with Shikamaru on a mission," I state.

"How did you find me? I was working on lowering chakra output for two years, not even Kiba could find me," Konohamaru complains.

I chuckle at that, "I also work with that. Therefore I can tell when someone is hiding."

Konohamaru crosses his arms in front of his chest and runs all the way to the clearing. I follow him and know that Shikamaru is no longer in the clearing. Everyone turns to face me and Konohamaru when we enter.

"What happened?" I ask, looking around.

"Tooru, I am so sorry…" Temari starts.

"We thought that he already knew that day in the bath house," Kiba interjects.

"I will go look for him," Neji says, "Ino, Choji, Sai, Hinata and Sakura come with me."

"I will look to," Shino says leaving with the group, "It's better than staying here. Konohamaru come with us."

Konohamaru looks between the group and me, he finally sighs and follows the group leaving the clearing. I stand there and wait for someone to explain to me what just happened. I cross my arms in front of me and turn back to the group. I look at them and see that Temari is about to break, something that I would never expect from her. Kiba is next to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. Saskue is sitting up on a stump and refuses to look up. Naruto is looking between me and Temari. Gaara is leaning against a tree with his eyes closed, refusing to open them and looks to be in deep thought.

"Well someone please explain what is going on," I finally say.

There is a pause in the clearing. The longer it is quiet the harder it is for me not to think that Shikamaru decided that I am not worth it, or that maybe Temari wants to be with him again. Either way, I can feel the something is very wrong with this situation. I have no idea what is going on. The bathhouse… when I first mentioned the group. Did I say anything else to her? I don't really remember.

I hear Saskue take a breath, "I am starting to remember you around the village Tooru. I remember after Itachi left I caught you watching us play Ninja. I remember catching you a few times doing that. It didn't matter how many times I asked you to join, you always ran off. Other than that I never saw you around, or would even hear you talked about. Then there was the exams and right before we fought you were there telling something to Lord Third. I guess we are all starting to remember you from the past," Saskue concludes.

"What are you getting at?" I ask.

"What we are saying Tooru is that Temari remembered something, and she told Shikamaru it. Only we didn't know that you had not said anything to him," Naruto says, "so we told him."

I look at Temari who looks guilty, "What did you remember?"

I try to sound kind but she shutters at my words and I get a look from everyone. I forget that I know how to sound in charge. I take in a breath. I don't know what it could even be. I know there are a lot of things going on.

"Please don't be mad…" Temari begins, "But I remember a time while the last chunin exams were about to happen, being about 6 months ago. And that was when I was in a new relationship and told Shikamaru that it wouldn't work out. But while I was wondering around I saw you, but you were tied up to a post. And every so often someone would come by a slash you. I tried to get in the middle of it but I was told to stop, that you deserved this. I was trying to make Shikamaru feel better about what happened, and that you guys began to fight. I wanted things to be right between you two."

I pause. I barely remember that, I slipped on something. I don't remember what it was though. I was looking at the group. I could have said the wrong thing to the wrong person. Or told something to Tenzo that I should have told to Kakashi. But I don't remember.

"Tooru, what happens to you?" Kiba asks.

Why can't I remember what happened? I don't remember what began that punishment. I have no idea what even happened. I don't remember the punishment. The last on I remember was very early on for Kakashi to know what a punishment is.

"But I don't remember it…" I trail off.

"How do you not remember it?" Naruto asks.

"I hadn't been sleeping, I was too focused on the mission and making sure that everything was ready for anything. But, I don't remember having to be punished…" I stop talking.

I feel sick to my stomach. I should remember everything. I need to remember.

"This was about six months ago right?" Saskue asks, "Well, I don't see why you have to remember it. We thought that Shikamaru already knew about it, but he ran off. We didn't know that this happens to you."

"No, it isn't I should remember everything that I see and hear. I don't remember this. I should know why. I…" I turn away, losing my words.

No, this isn't good. I never meant for this to happen, and this is something that since it has started no one can stop it. I never wanted them to know about the punishments. I wanted to keep that a secret. That was something for me and the Hokage to know about. No one else. Punishments are not something that everyone else should know about, they are a privet thing for me, the punishments are to keep me in line, they are to make sure I don't put the village at risk.

But I don't remember why I was being punished.

The emotions are overwhelming. I feel myself going down on my knees, about to cry. I feel pushed onto the ground. I feel my hand go to my mouth. They know something about me they should not know. They know about it.

They know I'm a weapon for the village.

I am the one to blame. I hear people shouting but I cannot understand what they are saying. The pain that everyone is feeling, I caused that. I feel my breathing becoming irregular. I don't know what to do.

I need to punish myself.

I can't get this deep with people.

But Kakashi's orders.

Be their friend.

I can't. Not when they know this about me. Not with knowing the one thing I hoped none of them would ever find out. Temari saw me in a punishment. I should have never let myself get in trouble. I know better.

I hurt people. I'm hurting someone I care about.

I shouldn't be here.

"Tooru," Naruto is right in front of my face, forcing me to look at him.

I can feel wetness on my face. I can feel the air being cut off. I don't know what to do.

"I didn't mean to do this…" I mumble.

"What happened?" Gaara asks.

"I stopped sleeping, and I don't know. I don't…" I mumble.

"I can see the fear in your eyes. I see that you didn't mean for this to happen. It will be okay, somehow we will make this okay," I don't know who said it.

I hear the lie in the persons voice, they don't understand. This is something that Lord Third never wanted anyone else to know about. I didn't want anyone ese to know. I don't remember why I was being punished. I don't remember it.

"Tooru?" Temari asks.

This isn't good. Nothing is good. I don't remember what happened. I should know.

I need to focus.

If anything this is proving how distracted I have been.

I feel my hands going over my head.

I need to stop.

No, I need to follow orders, I need to know why Kakashi is making me do this. What did I forget about the group? Why was I being punished? Did I do it myself?

I can't punish myself. I need to have Kakashi to lead it.

"No," I say.

I hear some talking. I don't know what is going on. I want to stop this. My head hurts and I can feel that I am isolating myself again.

Why are they remembering me? They had to find out about me, they had to know about the punishments.

I feel a hand pulling my head up. I see that it is Saskue. He looks me right in the eyes.

Saskue says, "Can I talk to Tooru alone?"

I hear protest, a lot of it. But Saskue doesn't break eye contact with me. I watch his breathing. Even. I can feel my breathing hiccupping every now and then. But I can feel myself calming down. Saskue keeps his eyes on me.

I feel his hands move and after a long time there is silence.

"Are you afraid Tooru?" Saskue asks after a moment.

"What kind of question is that?" I retort, refusing to look at Saskue in the eye.

"It will lead to what I want to talk about, but I need you to answer the question," Saskue says.

I take in a breath, "yes, I am afraid Saskue."

"What are you afraid of?" Saskue pushes.

I stop. I know there are a lot of things I am afraid of. But I never have really talked with Saskue at all. I don't know if I can tell him anything. But he barely talks to anyone anyway. He keeps to himself. I could talk to him, or at least try to talk to him.

"Everything. I… I didn't want you guys to know. Going back to being a robot," I reply.

"Tooru, I understand that being alone. You and Naruto are similar. No family, always being alone. I know you had a few people but they never seemed to care about what happened to you. I only recently understood Naruto and I think that helps me understand you," Saskue pauses to think, "I hope that my words will help you."

"Get to the point Saskue," I demand.

"The point is, you freaked about it. I don't know what is going on through your head, but it seemed rough. We want to learn about you, but we don't know how. Naruto is trying but even he gets upset by how little you reply to us, or how you are barely giving us the amount of information for us to fully think of you as a friend. I know how that goes, I was there once. After Itachi, I tried to close myself off…" Saskue says.

"Itachi was a jerk." I bluntly say.

Saskue stops, amazed by what I just said, "You knew Itachi?"

Before I can even stop to think I speak, "Yes, I worked with him in the ANBU for a few years when I was younger. Which is why I even started to watch you guys in the first place. You were all Itachi talked about and I wanted to see how you two acted together. Big Brother Itachi was the first person I truly cared for. A lot of people I couldn't stand in your family, only Itachi. He taught me how I should act and that I was never alone. When he left, I was heartbroken since I lost the only friend that I had ever had."

There is a silence between the two of us. I know that Saskue was not expecting me to know Itachi. But I had to say something, I don't want to run away from Shikamaru. Only I feel like I need to leave him alone.

I need to refocus on what I need to do. I need to do my mission and take everything with caution. Being friends need to be put on the back burner. The mission should come first. I will worry about the others and what they know about me after the mission is completed.

"So, you feel like Shikamaru is Itachi?" Saskue asks after a few moments.

I shake my head, "Not at all. I think I should leave him alone though. Along with all of you. I should not have come into your lives. Kept you out of the group that I am tracking."

"But you couldn't," Saskue states simply.

I look at him finally. I know that I couldn't, but I should have tried harder to keep them from it. I know Kakashi would have brought them into it one way or another. I look into Saskue's eyes and I can feel that he believes me when I say I never intended to hurt anyone. I sigh, knowing that one person believes me in this matter. Or one person who knows. Though I didn't really tell him anything about the punishments. I don't want them to be in danger. Only, now they could be in a lot of danger from this.

Which brings my attention to my bubble. There is a new danger lurking outside of it. I know that danger has come to us and this could be bad since it is only Saskue and I in the clearing. We need to leave this area right now.

"Let's go back to the village," I say standing up.

"Why?" Saskue asks, slightly confused.

"Someone is watching us," I state, "We need to leave now."

Saskue gets up and follows me out of the clearing. Only a kunai is thrown and I jump backwards pulling Saskue with me into the clearing.

I stand with him back to back ready to fight. A shadow comes out of the bushes on my side.

"Well, looks like we showed up at the right time," the one facing me says, slowly clapping his hands.

I disconnect the chakra line with Ino and Choji, signaling that something is wrong. I think though they may take it as my emotional state being torn up. Either way they will hopefully understand that something is wrong.

"Who do you want to take on?" The one across from Saskue asks.

"The girl, I know how to fight her, it will be like taking candy from a baby," the one in front of me says with a chuckle.

"Saskue," I whisper, "We have to fight. Don't show them any new moves from your fight with me."

"Why?" Saskue asks.

"They have been watching us for a while. Since I fought with Kiba, so they know how you fight. Do not try anything new unless you have to," I say.

"Understood," Saskue pulls out his sword and hold it that the ready.

I pull out three shuriken and hold them close to me. They both just stand there waiting to fight us. I know that Saskue and I are ready but I want them to make the first move. Use their attack against them and Saskue has the same idea.

"I have a bad feeling Saskue," I mumble.

"I know what you mean, why aren't they moving?" he responds back.

"Let me look around," I say.

I use byakugan and see the chakra is the same in both of them. They are clones. I scan the area, looking for the real one and spot him a few meters away in a tree. Barely outside of the bubble. I also see something else right outside of the bubble. One has chakra flowing and the other is dormant, meaning a puppet user.

"Saskue, they are clones," I inform him.

"So we slice and dice?" Saskue asks.

"No, we wait. He doesn't know that we know where he is. Let him make the first move. See if he is all talk and no bite," I mumble back.

So we wait, no one moves. I know that he is waiting for us to make the first move. But, I know better than to go charging in. What could he want? See our skills? This chakra is similar to me.

"Saskue, does anything seem off to you?" I ask.

"Yes, I feel weighted down and like it's been a day already," Saskue sounds tired.

"Open your hand," I command.

I feel a hand by my side and I give him a food pill. I hear him take it and I take one as well. I know this is a preservation jutsu.

I know how to get out of it too. This will let us keep moving.

"Well, seems like you know the jutsu!" one exclaims.

"So sad, we were getting good data for the boss man," the other says.

"Well, let's take them out!" the first on exclaims.

They leap into action and both attack Saskue and me. I throw my stars and the one I was facing vanishes. I turn to see Saskue fighting harder than he should to keep the clone away from him. I feel a new person entering the clearing. I turn to see a puppet and the master walking. I move quickly knowing Saskue with regain what he lost in a moment.

The puppet fires at me and I redirect it into the master's direction. I take control of the puppet and honestly I play with it to figure it out. And it is one of the best that there is. Even better than my own that I never really get to use. But I shouldn't let her play with her toy any longer, she might get hurt.

"Cool toy you have here," I say.

"How the hell! You little…" she begins to yell.

I take the puppet apart and fight her hand to hand. She is a distance and forgot to work on close battles. Both are which normally would be bad for ninja who fight hand to hand but since it is Saskue and I we know how to handle those types of fighters. She is having trouble keeping up. I slip one of the anti-food pills to her and wait for it to take effect.

Eventually her movements become really slow and she cannot keep her brain power anymore. I take her out and tie her to a tree and see Saskue has taken down the clone. I move and transport right behind the guy and knock him out.

"Man for ninja, they weren't that hard," I state.

"Why are they here?" Saskue asks.

"My guess is they are part of the copy group. Some puppet master she is and his clones are okay. Oh we get to have some fun now," I say.

Saskue looks at me and I know he was having a hard time fighting. I know it was only because of the jutsu that the guy placed. Only he feels like it should have never happened. I know that he doesn't have a huge amount of chakra like Naruto and I have but he does have a good amount to keep up. Even Naruto would have a hard time with this kind of thing.

"Let's get them to interrogation, there we can find out their plans," I say, walking with the girl over my shoulders.

Saskue picks up the guy up and follows me without another word.


	23. Chapter 23: A Freaking Nightmare

**Chapter 23: A Freaking Nightmare**

After hours trying to pull information out of them I finally get to return home. That process took longer than I thought it would.

I do not bother with my bubble since I have a feeling that Shikamaru will not be inside waiting for me. He learned something that he shouldn't have learned about me. I wanted to keep it away from everyone. But he found out.

I shake my head.

That isn't important now.

We had to call Ino in; she and I tried to find anything we could. We could not find a motive or anything like that. But the puppet user was of the Sand. The clone user of the Leaf. We don't know anyone else identity. What happened was that during the war each one of them got notes inviting them after the war to that clearing but by wearing hoods they could still meet and build a trust.

No one knows who the leader truly is.

Which is annoying since there is no way to actually find the leader without putting the village in danger at this point. That was the only useful information we could pull out of them.

We are keeping them, but there is a chance we could use them to our advantage. Sending them back would be bad for us. They could reveal what they learned and possibly know who I am. Which everyone wants to keep hidden.

I unlock the door and walk in. I take off my shoes and sit down.

I know that there is a lot to think about, only it is all messed up in my head. I can't even think straight.

How the hell am I going to fix everything that is going on? Maybe, just maybe, Shikamaru should come last. It is getting to the point where the village needs to be protected, but I need to fix things with Shikumaru. And now with Saskue and the whole group, I have to give them some form of explanation of what happened today. I don't know if it is concern or what else it could be. I am worried about Shikamaru and what he learned. I am worried about what I told Saskue earlier today.

I never wanted them to find this out.

I slap myself. I need to get a hold of myself.

I sigh and get up. I walk into the kitchen and put on some rice and get water.

I see the plans are on the table and I walk over to them. Focusing on them would be the best thing. I mean, there has to be something I missed right?

Only, what could it be?

This is one of the hardest things, but at least I know when they were formed, shortly after the war. But that is the only thing that we know for sure. Other than that everything is only probable cause, which isn't good enough. It isn't what Lord Third wanted from me. Lord Third raised me to be a better ninja than this.

What the hell did I miss?

How could I have missed anything?

I had help and even the support I never knew I needed. But that support might be gone, or wonder why I am being punished like I have. They are going to dig. They are going to find out. And that could result in… I don't know.

I hate not knowing.

I throw the plans off the table. They aren't any use right now. Everyone was counting on me and I failed. I failed with something that I shouldn't have failed with, and now the village could be in danger because of this one thing.

I walk away from the table and check on the rice. It is almost done, I think. I grab a bowl and try to wait without thinking too much.

I tilt my head down and take a deep breath in.

What if Shikamaru hates me? Or doesn't want to deal with someone who has to be punished for every little thing? I don't know if I can live without him being around. Or really any of them for that matter.

I think of them all as really good friends but the thought of losing them reminds me why I never wanted friends in the first place. Dumb things like this; where one thing was said even before I got to know them causing everything to go downhill. It is all dumb. I want to be all of their friends, especially Naruto's and Shikamaru's friend. There is no way that any of them will forgive me and if they do, I will never be able to believe them. Temari… she saw me being punished. Kakashi, he should have never sent me there.

But I don't even know if it was Kakashi that sent me. But I have never punished myself. I feel like I have failed because I don't remember what I did to be punished like that. It might have not been too bad since it was a mild punishment. But I always remember why I am punished.

Feeling a tear running down my face I finally look up from the floor. Wiping away the tear I put rice in my bowl, not caring if it is cooked or not. I begin to eat, trying to hold back tears. The rice is not cooked at all, which I don't mind. I have to focus on something else other then everything else that is going on. I bite down hard on some rice, almost biting my cheek. The next time I try to get rice I hear a clank. I look down and see that I finished the rice. I stare at the empty bowl. What is the point of me?

None; that would be the right answer. Two ninja attack the village and I didn't even see it coming. I knew that someone was watching us, only I should have went looking and brought them out for everyone to fight. That would have been the smart thing to do, but I didn't do my job. What good am I to the village if I can't even do my job? What happens when I can no longer protect the village? I hate this feeling, I hurt people and I know that I will be punished for what I have done.

That's when I feel something snap. I feel tears running down my face and before I can think about what I am doing I throw the bowl on the ground. I don't care if anyone else is in the house, in fact I know I am alone, just like I always have been. That is something that will never change in the world. I curl up into a little ball and can feel that it is getting harder to breath.

I hear gasping for breath, is that really me?

How pathetic am I?

I should know better than this to let something this silly get to me; I should be planning but I am on the ground. I feel the loneliness creep up on me. It consumes me like never before. I am the only person who has truly ever cared about me, no one else cared. Sure they all acted like it but it never happened. That is the worst feeling to know that I am alone, even with people around. Like the bathhouse, it feels like that was a dream but clearly it was not.

"Tooru?" a voice says.

I keep crying, the voice might actually hurt me. If I reply I would be in danger form the person entering the room. But, what if the voice is trying to help? Although, when has anyone ever tried to help me out? Never; that is the answer.

"Oh no, Tooru," a new voice says.

I cannot place the voice. Just like the bathhouse, I wish I could say sorry to Shikamaru, only I know I cannot. But both bring me panic and the need to run away. Only, my body does not move, it doesn't even seem to care that I could be in danger. My body knows I am no longer of any use to the village; I know too many secrets that they can get out of me.

I should be taken out. One thing Lord Third said to keep away from everyone. One thing that I had to make sure no one found out about. And people found out about the punishments. I can't stop it.

"Tooru talk to me," the first voice is closer.

I feel a hand on my back. I cannot do anything but let it sit there. I want to scream at the person to take their hand off of my back, to leave me alone before they regret it.

Only,

I know I am about to get what I deserve for being so useless to the village, to every single person that I have tried to protect for years. No one knows who I even am and the hand on my back is keeping me there to remind me of the job I did today and screwing up on the mission.

Of forgetting.

Of letting down the Hokage.

Of not protecting the village.

I hate myself.

"Yamato, she broke a bowl, that was the crash we heard," the second voice says.

"We need to get her help," the one called Yamato says.

"Tooru, can you please talk to me?" the second voice comes closer.

I roll over into the wall and can feel myself shaking. I am blinded by tears. I feel short of breath. I can barely think straight. I hear voices but I can no longer make out the words. The hand is gone, there is a sound of glass being moved around, at least I guess that is the sound. I don't know what is right anymore.

I'm an idiot.

I should not be doing this.

I… I … I don't know what I am anymore.

Am I a high ranked ninja?

Or am I a scared teenager?

I can't figure out which one I am. Normally I guess I am a ninja who follows the rules and tries to make sure everything goes smoothly. Why of all things is this happening? I am weak, for letting this happen. This will get back to Lord Sixth, and I will be punished. I cannot go through another punishment. They are so bad and they scare me so much. I can't let that happen, I need to get rid of the enemy in my house. I need to show that I am not a disgrace to everyone.

I feel myself being picked up, and my body reacts. I start to try to punch whoever it is and be put back down on the ground. The person pulls me closer and makes it to where I can no longer move. They are strong, I cannot even wiggle a little.

Maybe these aren't friends but the enemy. I know that no one in that group can pin me like this, so it has to be someone else. I try to scream but I feel nothing coming out of my mouth. Not even my mouth opens, I am trapped by them.

"Tooru, it's me," the voice says that has me pinned in their arms.

I keep trying to fight them, I cannot see since tears are still coming. I still cannot breathe though and I need to get away. I don't want to be anywhere near people, I need to punish myself before this gets to Kakashi.

I need to prove myself.

I need to be what Lord Third made me to be.

I am the dog of the Hokage.

"Shikamaru, we need help," another voice yells, the one called Yamato I think.

"Who would come now?" the one called Shikamaru asks.

"I'll send clones out and try to get help," Yamato says.

Help, no they are trying to take me. I begin to struggle some more. I need to get to Kakashi and explain to him what is going on. I have screwed up, something I should not do. I don't believe them and that they do not blame me for the suffering that I have brought on the group. Saskue is probably sulking and is hurt that I worked with Itachi. I know that a lot of things have happened.

Temari saw me…

They know…

I can't live like this.

I need to leave.

"She needs help now, we need someone here now Yamato," Shikamaru demands.

There is a knock on the door. They both freeze. I break free and fall to the ground. I start to crawl anywhere else but by them. I need to be alone. I need to figure out the situation and get everything fixed. Nothing will be fixed by itself. I have to do it, alone.

There are no such thing as friends for me.

I was built to work alone.

"I'll get the door, you get her," Yamato says.

I feel arms wrap around me, "Tooru we are trying to help you talk to me please?"

I hear footsteps running into the room. I begin to fight harder since I cannot tell how many of them there are. I know Shikamaru hates me and the whole group no longer trust me. I can no longer think straight.

I was spotted. They know.

I don't remember why.

"Tooru," I am flipped over and pinned on my back, "Calm down and look at me," the voice belongs to the one called Shikamaru.

I refuse to look at the face.

I need to stop.

The punishment will be worse if I act like this.

I need to calm down.

I need to shut down.

I feel myself taking in a few breaths and can breathe again. My eyesight also clears up as everyone is asking what happened.

The first thing that comes into focus is my arm and someone's hand holding my wrist down. I focus on that, knowing that the pain is real. I still do not want to say anything to Shikamaru until I gather my thoughts, but it looks like I have to face him sooner or later. The talking calms down since I have calmed down I focus on what everyone is saying.

"That doesn't explain what caused it," Yamato says.

"Look, Naruto what happened in the clearing after I left?" Shikamaru asks.

"Well," the one I assume is Naruto begins, "She asked what happened and after we told her what we had told you she got upset and said she didn't remember it. We don't know where you went. She started to cry. Like cry. We don't know if she heard us at all. Saskue got her to calm down, and he made all of us leave, I mean after forever of arguing with us to leave."

"Great, where is he now?" Yamato asks, I can hear the edge to his voice.

"On a date with Sakura," Naruto answers.

"Just our luck though," Shikamaru mumbles, too low for anyone else to hear except me.

I slowly follow the arm up and see Shikamaru's face looking to his right. I know that it is Shikamaru right away. I only look at him and hope that he doesn't look down. I know where I am and who is in the house. I put up my bubble. Tenzo is leaning on the counter, Hinata is standing in the doorway, Ino and Sai are standing together, Neji is up against a wall, and Naruto is next to Tenzo. I can see the tenderness in Shikamaru's eyes.

I don't know why.

I messed up.

"Well, that doesn't help with anything Naruto," Ino says.

"Look, she is calm and we only wanted to make sure that you were okay Shikamaru. I mean, you learning that the girl you like a lot was being tormented by someone else is hard to take in. You are attached to her a lot," Neji chimes in.

Shikamaru's face lightens, "I think I am okay with it. It was a shock. Who would have known that she would go through something like that? I mean, we don't know a lot about her, sure, but Kakashi sounds like he is letting her have freedom and allowing her to make friends. Even though she was never allowed to. I ran into Yamato and explained it to him. I want my friend to be okay."

"Are you sure it's only a friendship Shikamaru?" Hinata asks.

I see that she knows I am paying attention. But I am confused. Isn't keeping things hidden from your friends a big deal?

"I know that it is more than just a friendship, but I don't know if after this she will ever want to see me again," Shikamaru responds.

I tilt my head, puzzled. I do want to see him but I also want to make sure he isn't hurt by everything that has happened in the past twelve hours. I feel his grip lighten giving me some chance to move, only I do not want to. I would think he would not want to see me again.

But Shikamaru talked with Tenzo. He learned something else.

No one has put an effort in learning about me.

"It could still happen though Shikamaru," Sai says.

"That is true Sai, you and Tooru can still be together at some point," Naruto chimes in.

This causes Shikamaru to laugh, "I know. It's more of if she is ready."

"But what if you are not?" Neji gets off of the wall, "Tooru, hasn't told us anything. She has the right to, but after how long you have known her, don't you think it's odd. I mean she learned about you and Temari at one point. She should have told you about the punishments."

"I can feel like I know her though. Not everyone opens up right away. I remember her though. Her orange red hair in any crowd and I knew that was the mystery ninja. One that everyone saw but never knew about. And when she first lifted her purple eyes off the ground, I wanted to talk to her. I remember one time going to the park and Lord Third and Kakashi were there with Tooru. Somehow we all could play together even though Lord third wanted her to leave. Choji and I tried playing with her but after Choji shoved a chip in her mouth she ran off. We were six, Choji thought she wanted one. After they left my dad wanted us to really try to be friends with her, he knew how alone she was already and wanted us to be friends with her like how he let me be friends with Naruto when no one else wanted to be friends with him. Besides, who said that I only just cared for Temari? There were others that I cared about," Shikamaru stops and finally looks down, "How long have you been listening in?"

"A while," I whisper, and even that seems too loud.

"You won't freak out again will you?" Shikamaru asks matching my volume.

I shake my head and he slowly gets off of me and helps me stand up. When I finally get on my feet I nearly fall over but Shikamaru catches me before I can. I look around and everything begins to spin, I put my hands up to my face. I feel myself leaning forward as though I want to go on my knees.

This doesn't feel good. I don't know what is happening.

"Tooru, are you okay?" Shikamaru asks.

I shake my head. I feel like I might faint, or even throw up. I have no idea what is going on.

"Shikamaru, she doesn't look fine," Naruto comments.

I feel something is different. I am too weak right now, even if I did just freak out. I feel a pounding in my head. I don't know why, though maybe it isn't abnormal for someone to feel like this after a freak out.

"Something is wrong," I manage to mumble.

"What did she say Shikamaru?" Neji takes a few steps and tries to help Shikamaru.

"That there is something wrong," Shikamaru pauses, "let's get her to Kakashi."

"Why Kakashi?" Naruto asks.

"I think I figured out how we can break the jutsu Lord Third placed on her, but we need everyone. Sai, Ino and Hinata can you round everyone up at…" Shikamaru starts.

"Don't… take… out… of the… house," I manage to say.

I hope I said it loud enough for everyone to hear me. I can't leave. The protection of the house is what will help me.

"Why not Tooru, we need to…" Yamato starts.

"She is in too much pain captain Yamato. She needs to be here," Neji says.

"Right, then we will get everyone here, I will get Sakura and Saskue first," Ino declares.

"Good, Hinata get Kakashi first," Neji replies.

I feel like I am dropping more. I feel Shikamaru pick me up and hold me against his chest. I lean and hear his heartbeat. Steady and calm, he has a plan and I trust him. I feel so weak.

I don't know what's wrong with me right now. I think I am growing weaker and weaker.

"Thank you," I hear Shikamaru say, "Tooru here drink some water."

There is a glass pressed against my lips and water hits my lips. I swallow a few sips but I begin to choke on the water. I cough and the guys allow me to cough. Shikamaru begins to walk and he places me down on the table. My legs hang over the edge, and I question why he put me on the table. But I feel a wave of nausea overtake me.

"Shikamaru…" I finally manage to mumble.

I want to throw up, but I don't know where the trash is.

"Don't worry Tooru, I have a plan," Shikamaru says and gets up.

I try to focus, I know that something is different. As though something is missing inside of me. This weakness is too great. I need to let someone know. Only Shikamaru is not near me, I see that Neji is next to me. He has a hand on the table. I glance up at his face to see that he is talking to someone. Looking back at his hand I know I need to transfer memories to him quickly.

I summon all my chakra to my right hand and garb Neji's. I know he is startled but calms down.

"I see Tooru," Neji says, "And no I do not hate you Tooru. I will tell them."

"Tell us what Neji?" I hear Naruto ask.

"Tooru feels like something is missing, which might explain why she is so weak. She also let me see moments leading up to her freaking out. Only she knows she should be fine right now," Neji explains.

"Oh no," Shikamaru and Yamato say at the say time.

"What is it?" Naruto asks, worried.

There is a pause. A long one. I feel myself to trying to look around but I am in too much pain.

"She took in the chakra," Shikamaru mumbles.

"What do you mean Shikamaru?" Neji questions, also worried.

"The leader placed chakra in her so he could track her, and she thought about breaking it but we were able to get her not to. Do you think…" Shikamaru trails off.

"While she was freaking out she accidently took in the chakra," Yamato finishes.

"So now what?" Neji gets up.

"Now we have to work fast, the leader could come at any moment," Shikamaru has a slight panic to his voice, which means he didn't calculate this happening.

"So, that means that…" Yamato starts but there is a knock at the door as there are footsteps running to the door.

"Naruto, be ready to defend or move fast," Shikamaru warns.

"Right! I have places all over the village," Naruto says.

I hear footsteps running in, I know Kakashi is here and my bubble finally fades. I can feel my eyes close but I fight to keep them open.

"Shikamaru what happened?" Kakashi asks.

"Work now, explanation later. I need you to focus your chakra into her; that is what Sakura is going to help you with. As much as you can," Shikamaru commands, "Neji take a look at her chakra network and see if there are places chakra is not flowing and open them. If some places look damaged close them quickly. Yamato, as soon as everyone is here put up wood around the house with yours and Naruto's clones outside who can report. Naruto get rags ready, she will get warm quickly."

I hear the door open as more people enter the house quickly.

"Shikamaru, what do you need me to do?" I hear Shino ask.

"Great, you are going to also be part of protection. Shino set insects up around the city and have them look for any one out of place that could come here. Kiba and Temari go into Tooru's room and grab a few scrolls that say 'rules' these will help us in a way. Gaara, I also want you to set a protection bubble around the house and be ready to fight with sand. Konkaro I need some poison you have along with how to cure it," Shikamaru has more worry to his voice now than he did before.

"Why do you need…" Konkaro begins.

"It is to break the jutsu that she is under," Shikamaru explains.

"Don't question him," Temari and Kiba say at the same time.

I hear more rushing though out the house. I start to feel chakra being poured into me along with chakra points being opened and closed. There is a rag on my head and it actually feels cool. There are more people rushing in.

"Good, Choji get some rice and make it along with placing herbs in there. Lee, you are on close protection, stay close to Tooru and Lord Sixth. Tenten, I want you to hide and be ready to throw kunai if anything should happen. Sai could you draw some animals to wait outside? Hinata help Neji with opening and closing chakra points on Tooru," Shikamaru says.

"We found them!" Temari yells walking into the room.

"Man, her room is so clean, it is scary," Kiba chimes in.

"She is a neat freak Kiba, and from what I remember Lord Third ordered her to be clean and she had no choice but to listen," Shikamaru mumbles.

I feel a scream escape my lips. I feel pain all over my body as though I am being poisoned by something. I feel the chakra stop and points that should be open and closed and all chakra points are closing I can feel it. I feel a few jabs and the chakra begins to flow but the pain stays.

"Sai, where is Ino?" Yamato yells.

"I don't know!" Sai replies.

"We need them here, Sakura plays a key role here," Shikamaru mentions, "Naruto, teleport everywhere to find them!"

"Who will take over what I am doing?" Naruto asks.

"Sai will, he is helping you anyway. Go fast," Shikamaru asks.

There is silence in the house, everyone inside is trying but my body is weak. I feel myself tearing myself apart. We need a healer or someone. There is only so much that Neji and Hinata can do with chakra. There is a long silence, one that tells me that Shikamaru is thinking about what to do. He was not expecting me to take in the chakra, now I am in greater pain then I should be.

"Shikamaru," Yamato says, "You should explain to everyone why this is happening."

I hear footsteps come closer to me, I can feel Shikamaru's chakra near me and my body begins to calm down. My breathing is heavy and irregular.

"We need everyone here," Shikamaru whispers, "I need to know how long ago you broke the connection Tooru. If he was infusing chakra, or whatever"

I open my eyes to see Shikamaru looking down at me, concern plagues his face. I need to tell him but there are too many people around for me transfer anything to him and I cannot move my hands to do anything. As though he reads my mind he puts his hands on my cheeks and I close my eyes focusing my attention on his hands and telling him everything. I know the leader was not infusing chakra and won't notice for a while now. That I broke it right before he pinned me down is when my body got stronger then weaker.

"Alright," Shikamaru whispers when I open my eyes back up, "Thank you Tooru."

"What just happened?" Kiba asks.

"Tooru just explained everything to Shikamaru which is what she was trying to do earlier. Normally they would be bouncing ideas back and forth but since she is so weak transferring memories is the only way she can tell anyone anything. So now Shikamaru has what he needs to go further in his plan he has formed," Yamato pauses, "Which I'm guessing Tooru doesn't get since she is too focused on something else. Right Shikamaru?"

"That's right," Shikamaru says simply, not breaking eye contact with me.

"Therefore," Choji chimes in, "We know enough to know that Shikamaru has a plan, but only a few of us can fully guess as to what the plan is. If Ino was here her and I could maybe get it, but that is because we don't know everything."

I keep looking at Shikamaru, and that's when it finally clicks about what he is planning. There are things that even I could never think about and Shikamaru figured it out. Everyone has memories of me, and so with them telling Kakashi what they remember Kakashi can lift it. That's why each person is starting to remember me, Shikamaru brought it up. I feel my eyes widen and Shikamaru winks at me.

"I knew you would get it Tooru," Shikamaru whispers.

"Shikamaru?" Hinata speaks up.

Shikamaru lifts his head up, "Yes Hinata?"

"Her chakra is going crazy, it's like a bubble is forming in places and trying to spread to shut down the whole chakra system. We need to know what her jutsu is," Hinata explains.

There is a thud.

"Shikamaru what is the…" Saskue begins but trails off, "What can we do?"

"Sakura help Kakashi, Ino also help since you trained to heal. Saskue go through the rules with Kiba and Temari," Shikamaru sounds calmer than before.

"Now tell us what the plan is Shikamaru," Neji says as he jabs me opening a chakra point.

"Everyone listen, I know everyone has memories of seeing Tooru around and everyone is going to share those memories except Yamato and Kakashi. Any order, just when you think of one before a few weeks ago," Shikamaru explains.

"I have one," Saskue starts, "I remember while I was in Orochimaru's layer that I would feel this person. Only it was lingering, as though they had already left. One time I saw red hair and tried to attack. We did end up fighting a few times and I remember her beating me each time. There have also been times when we were all younger she watched us. I would offer her to come and play with us but she ran off. Also when Itachi would bring her home to have dinner."

"Ino," Sakura says, "Do you remember the little girl in the fields that one day?"

Ino thinks for a moment, "Yes, she had red hair and looked like she was already a jonin by that point."

"Remember going up to her and insulting her? How mean we were to her because she was so small," Sakura bounces.

"After a moment of silence she turned around and we saw she was the same age as us, and we laughed at her for taking her parents gear," Ino continues.

"She said they were her cloths and that she was something else, only she never finished her sentence. She finally lifted her eyes," Sakura explains.

"They were the same purple. We insulted Tooru when Sakura and I just became friends. It was after a class and Sakura wanted to learn more about the flowers," Ino concludes.

"I remember a few times walking Akamaru and seeing a shadow jumping from tree to tree. I could tell they were following us, so one day we set a trap to catch whoever it was. And I caught Tooru in it and she got out and ran off," Kiba pauses, "I remember seeing the marking on her shoulder, but I never thought anything of it."

"There was this one time I was following someone and I saw her a few times," Hinata chimes in, "I never talked to her though, I remember her at the chunin exams when we all first took it, she was telling Lord Third something."

"I don't remember her there though Hinata," Naruto chimes in.

"It's because you and I were arguing," Saskue reminds him.

"Right," Naruto says, "Anyway, I remember her during the war though. She was laying on the ground after everything and she was getting up while we were making sure everyone was okay. She got up and left quickly. I tired to follow her but she was too fast in her movements. I started to see her around but was never able to talk to her."

"I remember my father was up early one morning and I was a genin at the time. He was talking to someone, only my mother asked me to put my ninja skills to the test. I saw that it was Tooru talking to him about something; but he was laughing about it. This happened a few other times. It hasn't happened since the war ended, but I have also been seeing her around the village," Shino speaks up.

"There was this one time in the foundation," Sai says, "Or maybe it was a few times that I caught her spying on us, I tried to fight her but she always over powered me. After the war though she slowly became more and more like a zombie."

"I also remember more zombie Tooru. She always looked like she was thinking and thinking. But eventually she just had a look in her eyes that showed she wasn't getting enough sleep. Then the bathhouse happened and after she came back she looked better," Temari inputs.

"Yes, we are trying to work on that. She over works since she doesn't really have anyone," Kakashi chimes in.

"She seems calm," Gaara says, "I do recall one time when I was about 7 and there was a ninja walking around the village with some other adults. They pointed me out and she came up to me and sat right in front of me. The red hair and the purple eyes told me she didn't want to hurt me but be my friend. I questioned why she was here and she replied with a smile and took my hand; she asked if in the future we could be friends. And I told her no because I was scared to even try to be friends with her. Tooru said that she knew what it was like to be alone and…"

"Then I came up and told her to get lost. I don't know why but anyone who tried to hurt Gaara I would stop. I thought that she was threatening him like everyone else did. Only Gaara told me after she ran off that she was trying to help," Konkuro finishes.

"Do you guys remember training that one day?" Tenten questions.

"Getting ready for exams?" Neji asks.

"Yes! Guy sensie was late and we decided to start. Then a girl with red hair came out," Lee starts.

"But when she saw us she turned away because we had the training ground first," Tenten continues.

"We surrounded her and asked if she wanted to train with us, but she refused each time," Neji says.

"But we did not give up! We started to follow her around the village to see if she would give us a chance to train with her," Lee exclaims.

"But," Tenten interjects, "She knew what we were planning already and she stayed in the market until Guy came and found us."

"Later on that day we were taking a break and Guy said he would be right back, I used my eyes to pinpoint his location and that's when I saw Tooru in the trees and then they vanished," Neji finishes.

"Well," Choji starts, "I really only remember the park with Shikamaru. Maybe seeing her a few other times but that's all I can tell you."

"And mine is the same as Choji's. Seeing her at the park and them seeing her around the village a few times," Shikamaru concludes.

Another scream escapes my lips, this causes everyone to stop for a few moments. I feel myself bend backwards and bend in odd ways that hurt me. There is no more chakra coming into my body but I can hear the shouting but cannot make out that they are saying.


	24. Chapter 24: Temari Talk

**Chapter 24: Temari Talk**

I finally open my eyes to see that I am still on the table.

My head hurts. My whole body hurts a lot. Only, I can feel the chakra moving correctly for once since I passed out. I hear talking but cannot make it out. I want to get up but I am afraid to even try to get up. They left me on the table.

I can't even open my mouth, I feel trapped again.

I hate this feeling as well.

"Why, Tooru you are up?" I hear a voice.

He comes right over my head and I see that it is Sai.

"Don't try to talk yet, Sakura says that you hurt your voice very badly when you were screaming. But that cannot be helped," Sai places a rag on my head, "We are all worried about you Tooru. But we know how alone you were. Kakashi was finally able to tell us what happened when you were younger. I'm sorry about that."

There is a moment of silence. I close my eyes and I try to put up my bubble. Only I cannot infuse chakra. I open my eyes again and see that Sai has moved away but I can hear rustling around the kitchen. I turn my head – with a great amount of pain – and see Sai washing out some bowls. I also see Temari next to him. She looks a little upset, as though she is hiding something.

"Yes Temari," Sai answers.

"I know it is wrong but maybe we can fix this whole thing. I know that Shikamaru is not okay with how she was treated," Temari says.

"Maybe, only why are you bringing this up now?" Sai asks.

Temari sighs, "I don't know."

"I think you are hiding something," Sai says.

Temari sighs, "Maybe you are right."

There is a pause. Sai looks over to Temari and waits. I don't know what they are talking about but it seems serious. I still am in pain, but now I want to focus on what they are saying.

"To some extent I do love Shikamaru." Temari mumbles.

"Then why are you with that other guy?" Sai questions.

"Because, he is someone who challenges me and I love him a lot…" Temari responds looking down at the ground.

Temari… she is dating someone. I remember her saying that. I don't know who though. But why is she saying she loves Shikamaru now? Did something happen with this other guy?

Why do I feel slightly upset with her saying she loves Shikamaru?

What changed in me?

Sai is quiet for a moment, "Would you want to be with Shikamaru?"

Temari snaps her head up and looks at Sai, "Honestly, I would. I mean, I still do care for him. Only, I know that if I do go with Shikamaru I would have to move to the Leaf… I mean he is going to be the head of the Nara clan soon. I would have to leave my home and come here since I don't think Shikamaru would think of leaving the Leaf now."

"But it would be nice to have you in the village Temari, Ino enjoys hanging out with you," Sai says.

"I know. But how he looks at her…" Temari trails off.

How he looks at who? I feel… guilt maybe? But why is Temari so worried? She loves the sand, and she loves her brothers. No way in hell would she leave them. Not if it meant she had to give up being a ninja. Or was that just a rule Lord Third placed on me?

"Maybe it is because he is feeling lonely. And Tooru was there and she showed him a tenderness. She challenges him in ways that no one else has ever done. Not even you did," Sai explains.

"I guess you are right," Temari sighs.

"Besides, why would Shikamaru fall for someone so fast? That doesn't sound like the calculated Shikamaru I know but she would sit and talk to him. Something none of us would do for him. Plus, he no longer feels alone. She distracted him form you and maybe in some way he felt something but it was from the looks he saw. We both know that Shikamaru does not like people based off looks. I am sure he still loves you," Sai concludes.

Temari ponders this, "I want to be with Shikamaru."

There is a moment of silence between them.

I don't even know what to think about this. She breaks his heart but she loves him? I turn my head back and close my eyes. There is no way that I can even be with him. It is true that Shikamaru has been feeling lonely since Temari.

Maybe my first guess when this all started was right. I am merely here to help, I won't talk to him after this. He will see that Temari still him and he will go to her and be with her.

It was that man… the man I saw her with right after the war, the one who was willing to wait for her. Temari has someone she fell in love with. Is she scared because of it? Why should she be?

"Sai," Neji comes into the kitchen, "Kakashi wishes to speak to you."

"But I am watching Tooru," Sai replies.

"I will be watching her," Neji states.

I open my eyes and tilt my head to see Sai walking into the living room. Temari and Neji remain silent. I see Neji is leaning against the counter. I know Temari is thinking. I just don't know what she is thinking.

I don't want her to love Shikamaru.

I don't want Shikamaru to be in this picture with her just because she is scared about something, maybe it is the man from her village. The one from after the war. The one who wanted to wait for her.

If she loves him why is she running to Shikamaru?

"I overheard you and Sai," Neji states.

"And what do you think?" Temari asks, she almost sounds ashamed.

Neji looks at her, "I don't think Shikamaru loves you anymore."

"Why not?" Temari raises her voice a little.

But I feel… I don't know. Maybe joy a little?

"Because," Neji remains calm, "He knows that you moved on and hopes you two can be friends but I think that he truly does care for Tooru. Personally I would like to see where it goes."

"What happened to not trusting her?" Temari asks.

"I got to know her past. You sat and listened to Kakashi explain everything. Shikamaru sat by her and made sure she was okay. He was concerned about her, more than Shikamaru normally is. I'm sorry but you already hurt him once," Neji explains.

So Neji knows what happened. He knows that Temari rejected him by a letter after she avoided him the day the sand siblings were leaving. He knows that Temari is seeing someone else.

Mentally I give Neji a high five.

"But I love him Neji," Temari whines.

"That doesn't matter," Neji harshly states, "Look, I know about the man from the sand. How he was injured and that he doesn't remember you but is trying to be with you."

Temari looks away, a little flustered. She almost looks as though she does not want to talk about it. So, I am right, she is running away from her true feelings. I look closer at her and see she is blushing about it.

"How did you know about him?" Temari asks.

"Gaara talked to me about it. If I remember correctly this man has left presents for you late at night and has even been trying to prove to you that he wants to be with you forever. He is concerned about you Temari," Neji moves closer to Temari as he says this.

"I… I don't know why he is so concern about me…" Temari backs away from Neji.

Neji turns to me and see that I am looking at them. Temari follows his look and looks away quickly. Neji walks to me and kneels in front of me. He only looks at me. I look at Temari who is blushing and very red in the face.

"Tooru," I heard Temari say, "Did you hear all of that?"

Neji moves out of the way, "I will let you two talk."

Neji gets up and walks out of the room. Temari remains where she stands and looks almost ashamed. I only look at her wanting to say a million things but know that I cannot speak. She has to do all the talking. But I remember talking to that man. The man she is with.

"I know what you are thinking," Temari states, "I shouldn't try to come back into Shikamaru's life since I already hurt him. But I don't know if I can face that guy again. I am almost sure that he loves me, yet I cannot tell fully if he does. With Shikamaru though, I know he isn't right. I watch him with you and that look he gives you. I have always wanted that look from him. But that guy in the Sand gives me that look and I don't know why it scares me so much. I guess because I know I would forever be with someone that I know cares. He and Shikamaru are alike but so different. I know that I should let that man fully take my heart but that means giving up on people here. Only, I wish that everyone would stop. Truly, you bring out the best of Shikamaru, and I mean I have never seen him this happy in such a long time. He has an easier time doing things and the worry he has about you is crazy," Temari pauses, "Look, I hope that Shikamaru is happy and you clearly make him happy about a lot of things. I love that other man… but Shikamaru is familiar to me."

There is a long moment of silence between the two of us. I wish I could ask her more about the man in the Sand. I glance down at my hand and hope she understands that I can talk to her through memories. She looks at me and grabs my hand.

I close my eyes and let the memories begin.

 **XX**

"Temari!" someone yells.

I am sitting on top of a building in the Sand, I was there to deliver a message to Gaara from Kakashi. But I showed up early and am waiting for him to go to his office so I can tell him. I look down at the name because it is Gaara's sister's name and Kakashi told me I should start to make friends with people for once in my life.

Temari turns around and smiles, it is the man who loves her.

"Hey, how are you feeling today?' Temari asks.

"Much better, I can finally resume training. I am really excited to train again but I have to start all over which is the only downfall," he replies.

Temari chuckles a little bit, "That must be hard, I mean you were a jonin before."

"You know I don't remember that," he replies and shoves her playfully.

Playful? It seems like what the other couples do in the village.

"I know," Temari turns and smiles at him.

"Temari…" the man pauses, "What were we like before I got hurt?"

Now it is Temari's turn to pause, "We were very close friends."

There is a moment where neither one of them speaks. There is tension, but its one of them both hiding feelings for the other. I remain in my place because I recognize Temari and the man. Temari looks down and blushes a little before being able to speak. The man wants this to go somewhere since he finds Temari beautiful and this is the only time neither one of them are not smiling.

"And what about now?" he asks.

"I don't know…" Temari looks at him.

Before anything else can happen he brushes her bangs back and pulls her in for a kiss. Temari doesn't fight it; in fact she seem eager about kissing him. They stay like that for a moment.

Finally Temari breaks away, "No don't do this to me now…"

"Do what Temari? I think we have something," the man says, staying at a distance from Temari.

"But, I might be with someone and I think I love him," she states.

"You don't sound all too sure about him," he retorts.

Temari looks away from him and waits, "But he loves me and I don't know if there is anyone else like him…. No I know there is but I think I am just scared to do anything."

"But why be the guy you don't love? Go for the man that makes you happy and can give you what you need Temari," the man pulls Temari into a hug.

"I'm sorry I have a mission," Temari breaks away and runs.

I jump down next to the man without my mask on. I land beside him, both of us looking after Temari. I glance over at him and see the pain in his eyes, I know that he wants to be with her. We stand there for a moment.

"I love her," is the first words to come out of his mouth.

"I can see. Would you be willing to wait for her?" I ask.

He turns to me and nods, I can see it in his eyes that he would do anything for Temari. I look at him and I hope that he does get to be with Temari. I just hope she realizes how much he loves her and that she is only fighting the feelings for him as well.

"Then wait," I say.

"I will. I know that even if I am not with her I will be happy if she is happy," he replies.

 **XX**

I open my eyes and see Temari looking at me.

"I didn't even know you were there. But you think I should? I mean he is sweet and that day that he kissed me… I wanted to stay with him but I knew that Shikumaru really loves me. I didn't want to hurt either of them. But that guy, If I be with him, then I may never be able to come back to the village," Temari says

I look at her and know that she will always be welcomed into the village. Naruto will always let the sand siblings come to the village just for visit and everything. There is no question about it, besides any weddings that happen the sand siblings are welcome to join.

Temari sighs, "No, I know that is untrue. I know that I am always welcomed here. I know I am scared about everything. I care deeply for Shikamaru and I know I cannot make him happy like you can. But that man, I know he is right for me."

"Who is right for you?" a new voice chimes in.

Temari turns around, "Oh Shikumaru, no one."

"Temari can I talk to you a little bit," Shikumaru asks.

Temari stands up and follows Shikamaru outside. I look after them and turn back. I am very sore right now. I hope I can talk soon. I close my eyes and allow myself to fall asleep.


	25. Chapter 25: She Wakes Up

**Chapter 25: She Wakes Up**

I jolt awake and sit straight up. I immediately double over in pain. I finally look up and see that I am alone in the room. I grumble and grab my midsection since that is where a majority of the pain is at.

How long have I been out? I remember the memories from the group and talking to Temari about the man from the Sand. Maybe I have been out for a long time. I don't hear anyone in the house. I try to put up my bubble but I cannot infuse chakra still.

I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. I tilt back and launch myself forward to a standing position. I nearly scream in pain and my legs feel like they are jelly. I almost fall over from the pain but I manage to keep standing with the help of the wall. I hold my right hand against the wall and my left is holding my midsection to keep everything in place. I need to get looked at by someone.

I walk against the wall until I make it to the doorframe. I turn and see that it leads to the hallway where my bedroom is.

I sigh, I walk in the direction of my room. Maybe someone will be in the room that can actually run around. Honestly I know that I am in no condition to even think about running around but the thought of laying on the table any longer physically makes me sick. I need to get back to working on the group. Only I know that I do need help from all of them. I stop to catch my breath for a little bit.

Man, I am tired. Not doing anything is more work than I ever thought possible; I am a ninja that has always done everything and lately I have basically laid around and let everyone else do everything for me. Well that stops today.

This mission was in trusted to me and I am the one that needs to let everyone know what to do and when to do it. We still need to get the rat out of the village. I think that there is more than one in the village. I continue walking to my room.

I finally turn the corner and see that no one is in my room. But there are books and scrolls everywhere but I do not feel the impulse to clean everything up. That was on order from Lord Third when I was younger. He wanted everything to be cleaned in a certain way and for me to never leave a mess. And I had no other choice than to listen. I never understood it but as I got older it was all that I knew how to do. I look around my room and see that the bed is still a mess and now it has a few books on top. The floor has open scrolls and books, like someone was trying to read something in a hurry to leave.

I turn back to the hallway and switch my arms to head back to the kitchen. I grunt through the pain since it has gotten worse than when I first got up. After what feels like forever I make it to the kitchen. I turn right and switch my arms again to get full support with the wall.

I notice a glass of water on the counter and realize that I am thirsty. I reach the water and pick it up. I stand there trying to get all the water that I can without hurting myself. I finally finish drinking the water and decide to keep moving. I don't feel that my voice is strong enough to even speak I remain mute as I make my way around the kitchen to the living room. I have to pause every few meters to give my body a break.

"No," I hear someone say when I am close enough to the frame for the living room but I am giving my body a break.

"You really think that?" another voice questions, I think that it is Saskue.

"I do really think that," I know that voice, it is Shikamaru's.

"Is that why you and Temari had to talk outside?" a voice pushes, maybe Neji.

There is a silence in the room. My body refuses to move another step and I do not blame it. I slide down the wall and sit by the doorframe and listen to what they have to say. Besides, I know I will be put back on the table.

"Shikamaru, you know how hard this will be for everyone?" a female voice asks, I would guess Ino.

"I know but look at it this way; it would be harder in the other ways. You guys all know that, especially with everything that has happened in the past week with Tooru," Shikamaru explains.

"I still think that we should ask Tooru about this though," Saskue interjects.

"She has been out for days at this point Saskue, besides her body is still too weak for anything really," Shikamaru counters, "Besides we need to act fast in order for this to work."

"But who would stay with her?" Neji asks.

"We would, Yamato and I are perfect guards for her," Kakashi says.

There is another pause. Something seems off about the whole thing. Why is Shikamaru fighting so hard about whatever it is that they are talking about? Normally, at least to my knowledge, he knows when to wait. Besides, there is also the fact that he needs me for this, if I am thinking about the plan from I guess a week ago. Only, that would be bad since no one else knows fully what the full plan is.

He is an idiot if he thinks he can just do it without me.

"Shikamaru this isn't like you," someone finally speaks up, I believe it is Naruto.

"No, this needs to happen," Shikumaru snaps.

"What the hell is wrong Shikamaru?" Naruto questions.

Another pause. I close my eye and can feel that something is about to be said that is going to change the dynamic of the group.

There is no noise being made from the other side of the wall. I can hear breathing but other than that, there is nothing that I can hear from them. I lean my head back and take in a breath, waiting along with everyone else. I have no idea what could be going through Shikamaru's head.

"Answer me Shikamaru," Naruto states.

"I can't," Shikamaru replies.

I get the image of Naruto standing up and moving toward Shikamaru. He walks over and kneels in front of Shikamaru. But Shikamaru turns his face away and tries to hide his face. A sigh that he is truly having trouble with something going on. Naruto tries to pull his face to look at him but Shikamaru turns his whole body to the door and…

"Where is Tooru?" Shikamaru asks, almost right on cue.

I hear someone get up and know that it is Shikamaru, I can feel his chakra coming closer. He stands in the doorframe and turns to me.

"Hey, you shouldn't be up," Shikamaru says as he kneels by me.

I shrug my shoulders and open my eyes.

"You need to be sleeping Tooru," Shikamaru nags.

I turn my head to him and look him dead in the eyes and try to communicate that I hate staying still.

"Tooru, look, we need you to recover and doing this will not allow you to recover, do I need to go and clear off your bed?' Shikamaru questions, "Actually, I don't care. I am putting you to bed."

There is still a lot of silence from the other side. I narrow my eyes at Shikamaru and he gets up and walks back into the living room as though he never saw me. There is still a silence from the other room. I squirm a little bit, I begin to worry about what is going on. I take note that nothing seems to be moving, not even a small wind.

I pull myself up on the wall and turn into the doorframe to take a look inside the room. Everything is frozen, and the room is not like a normal room. Something is off but I cannot tell what it is. I just know that I need to get out of here and get anyone else to help here. I slowly back away from everyone and move into the kitchen.

I turn to see Shikamaru right in front of me, causing me to fall from being scared. Yet, he is still froze. I look at his hand and he has a kunai in his right hand. And it looks like he just pulled it out. I scramble backwards. I feel pain surge through my whole body.

I cross the doorframe and feel something thick on my hand. I freeze in my place, my eyes locked on Shikamaru right in front of me. But the thick liquid that I have touched, I don't need to look to know what it is. I have felt it many times when I wasn't a spy and I was much younger. It gave me nightmares for a long time.

Then the smell hit me. It overwhelms me to where I want to throw up, only I cannot take my eyes off of the kunai. I finally notice the red on the blade. Did Shikamaru… did Shikamaru kill them? I don't even know who is actually dead, but I have a feeling that they all are.

I have to get out of here, but I cannot will myself to move. I stare in horror at Shikamaru.

Suddenly Shikamaru springs. He moves forward slowly, one foot in front of the other. I try to move back but I feel the blood on my hands.

"Because of you," Shikamaru says, "All of them have died. Why did you take in the chakra? We told you not to, we knew the trouble it would cause, the leader came and took you. None of us stood a chance against him. You did this Tooru. How could you?"

There is a tear coming from Shikamaru's face. He is upset and maybe even heart broken by what he is doing. I feel my mouth open but no sound comes out. Shikamaru is now standing over me with the kunai raised. He starts to bring the kunai down and…


	26. Chapter 26: Do You Love Her?

**A/N: So these past few chapters I haven't changed that much because I didn't think they needed to be changed too much. But I should be catching up in the next week or so with the story.**

 **Chapter 26: Do You Love Her?**

I scream. I bolt up and stand right away. I fall down on the ground. There is actually noise again in the house.

I am scared.

What the hell just happened? I feel the pain in my midsection again. Was that a dream or reality?

I look up and my vision is blurred from something. Am I with the group or with friends? I cannot tell. I feel the panic rising inside of me. I need to get out of here. Something feels off about what just happened, something just is not right here.

"Tooru are you…" a voice begins.

There are footsteps running towards me. I feel the familiar chakra next me. I turn to see an outline of a person. I can tell that it is Shikamaru. I turn into him and knock him over onto the floor. But then I remember the dream or whatever the hell it was a back away from him. I go against the wall and take in a few breaths. I do not feel right here.

I am scared.

I don't know what is going on with me.

"Tooru," Shikamaru starts, "Did you have a nightmare?"

I nod my head. I do not trust my own voice, it could betray me and all my thoughts.

"Okay, this is such a drag. Come here Tooru, maybe the jutsu is still in effect," Shikamaru states.

I feel warmth surround me and I know that this is the real Shikamaru. I calm down and wrap my arms around him. Maybe I was wrong about being scared, this is the real Shikamaru after all, nothing can change that.

"It's okay," Shikamaru says, "Do you want to tell me about it?"

I shake my head. I never want to relive it ever again. If I transfer memories I live through it again, even just thinking about it causes me to want to run away from him again. Why would I even want to run away from him? Out of everyone I trust his so much, maybe even more than I should.

"Was it really that bad?" Shikamaru question.

I don't reply. I don't know if I can. I feel like I shouldn't trust people but I know I can. This is all messed up. What is happening to me? Everything is so jumbled up in my mind that I can't even form a thought without something nagging at me. I am sure that it is the fact I have never had anyone this close to me.

I don't know. Is this all the rules being broken? Is this the seal being taken off me?

"Tooru?" Shikamaru asks after a moment of silence.

I break away from the embrace and sit against the wall. I look away from him and try to make myself as small as I can. I do not want to think anymore. I am scared because of what happened in whatever just happened. I feel my head about to explode. The thoughts are swirling so much that I can barely even see the blurs that are in front of me. I might just need to sleep a little longer so I can actually think things through.

"Tooru, I think I know what happened," Shikamaru says after a moment, "I was made as some bad guy and I get that you are scared. I am not the evil person from whatever just happened to you. I am not that person, but I am the person sitting in front of you. I am your friend and right now I know that is all that you want, and frankly that is what I want as well for right now until things calm down a little bit," Shikamaru puts a hand on my knee, "I am the same person that you have been working with for the past few months. I wish to help you so much Tooru."

Shikamaru leans forward and kisses my forehead. Right at that moment I can feel him telling me a million things. But the most promising thing that I get is that he convinced Temari to go stay with the man in the Sand.

 **XX**

"But Temari…" Shikamaru stammers.

"I think I love you why is that so hard?" Temari asks.

"Because you are scared about something. I have known you for a long time and I have never seen you so flustered about anything," Shikamaru explains.

This causes Temari to pause. She looks away. He smirks, she never got this flustered with him, and normally it would sting but not anymore.

"What if I am," Temari finally mumbles.

"The man you're seeing right? Did something happen with him?" Shikamaru asks.

Temari nods her head, "Yes, and I have no idea what is going on with me. Why am I so afraid to try anything? I get so weird around him…"

"And this is a man from your village?" Shikamaru pushes.

"Yes…" Temari timidly replies.

Shikamaru lays back and looks at the dome that he had Yamato make when all this first happened, "Stay with him. He will make you happy, I can see it in your eyes Temari. It's a look that you forced at times with me. You have the change that I wanted to see from you every time we were together but I never got that look."

Temari pauses. She sits back down next to Shikamaru. Shikamaru is calm though. He knows, he believes that the man wants to marry Temari. And he thinks that she knows it.

"Temari look, if you want to be with him for the rest of your life go for it. Haven't you known him all your life anyway?" Shikamaru asks.

"Shikamaru… how did you figure it out?" Temari asks.

"Simply by watching you, we have been best friends for a long time right?" Shikamaru simply answered.

Temari sits there, she looks back at Shikamaru and fully understands how much Shikamaru loved her for so long. She never knew that he could pick out so many little things about her that he thought she would over look. Like the forced smiles and the face she put on when she knew he was only a friend.

"Temari, do what you feel will make you happy. I know what will make me happy," Shikamaru states.

After a few moments of talking Temari gets up and goes inside to take a nap and Shikamaru also dozed off.

 **XX**

Shikamaru pulls back and looks at me. I can see it in his eyes that he wanted me to see what had happened. I only look at him, I don't know what else I can do other than just look into his eyes and try to understand. Only, I think I do understand. There is a lot about Shikamaru that I understand and something I have no idea what the heck is going on in that head of his.

I can only look at him, trying to understand what that means for us. Something still feels out of place though… something that maybe I should not know about. The fact that Shikamaru can do that, maybe I did teach him something about it.

"Tooru," Shikamaru says after a moment, "If you are still having nightmares I can still stay with you to make sure that something like this never happens again."

I slowly nod, I fall into his chest. I feel his heartbeat is steady. I take in a deep breath and know that there are no words that need to be spoken between the two of us, and that just sitting like this is all we really need. How could I doubt something that is solid and right in front of me? I take in a few deep breaths and listen to Shikamarus heartbeat, slow and steady just like when I felt weak and I was panicking.

"Hey Shikamaru," someone says.

"What is it Gaara?" Shikamaru asks, he keeps holding me.

"Do you think we can let one or two people leave to get food for everyone? It's been a few days since anyone has left…" Gaara trails off, "Is Tooru awake?"

"Yes she is," Shikamaru replies, "And yes, there are plenty of people here and I think that we can have people start staying in cycles."

There are footsteps approaching us, "Shikamaru does it make you uneasy that the leader has not come to get her?" Gaara asks.

This statement causes Shikamaru to pause, "Yes a little, but what else can we do? We all know the same amount of information that Tooru does which means we can start to plan a little bit more to help her."

This causes Gaara to pause, "That is true, but the leader could come at any minute and…"

"And force Shikamaru to kill everyone," I mumble.

Both men pause, not expecting me to speak at all. I freeze to and try to wiggle myself out of Shikamaru's embrace but he holds me tighter. I want to get away from him, I want to hide because of what I just said. I can feel a tear running down my face.

"How dare he," Shikamaru states, causing me to pause.

"What Shikamaru?" Gaara asks.

"How dare he do this to Tooru… I won't let his get away with hurting her like this. Out of everyone, Tooru does not deserve this. She has had so many things go wrong in her life and whatever these people want with her have caused this much stress on her. Who could stand by and do nothing? I know I cannot," Shikamaru pauses, "Tooru, don't worry. We well stop this group."

This causes me to break down again.

Shikamaru actually cares about me. Something I never thought I would never see in a person, what doubt should I have about this? Not only that, but he is serious about helping me take down this group. Now, he understands what the nightmare was about and why I don't want to talk about it. I come closer to Shikamaru and he only just holds onto me.

I feel his strong arms pick me up and take me somewhere. I cannot tell since I am buried in his chest. After a few steps I feel him sit down with me. I stopped crying but I don't want to leave he chest just yet. Shikamaru's arms stay around me, in a protective way. I decide to only listen to what he is saying.

"We should try to do something," Choji says.

"What we need to do is put our heads together and figure out anything about this group," Shikamaru says.

"Shikamaru, we've tried that and we couldn't think of anything," Tenten replies.

"What's wrong with Tooru?" Naruto asks, and I know he is trying to calm Shikamaru down.

"She is freaked out about things," Shikumaru pauses, "I want us to help her so much. But, I don't know if everyone should get involved with this thing."

There is a moment of silence. I lift my head a little bit to look at Shikamaru, and I see him looking down at me.

Shikamaru is upset. I have never seen him this upset. If he gets upset like this he will only make a mistake out in the field.

We lock eyes and I can see the rage in his eyes soften a little bit.

"Calm down," I whisper to him.

"But, I'm worried about you…" Shikamaru begins.

I put my hand on his face, "Calm down. You won't think straight if you are freaking out. I know it hard but you should always wait to hear all sides of the story. You are jumping around."

"I know, I just… I want to help you so much Tooru that it's hard to watch you in so much pain," Shikamaru replies.

We hold eye contact and know that I am right. I know he is worried but we all need to take a step back and not be so crazy about this thing. Shikamaru's eyes soften even more and I see that he isn't nearly as worried as before. We only look at each other and know that taking a day off would be good for everyone. I give a slight nod telling him that he should tell the group.

Shikamaru sighs, "Alright Tooru."

Shouldn't he fight me on this? Isn't the group a pressing matter that needs to be handled swiftly like Shikamaru said? Maybe I am just paranoid and I need to get a grip on reality. There are somethings that need a break, and maybe this is one of those times.

"Anyone else confused?" Kankuro asks.

I hear a lot of agreement from the question asked. I know a lot of people are confused by Shikamaru's and mine's communication but to us it is useful.

Shikamaru looks up and around, "We aren't going to do anything. But we well talk a little bit about the group we are looking at. Tooru though should try to sleep. It has been a few days since you actually have moved though"

"Shikamaru," I hear Saskue say, "Could I talk to you Sai, Gaara, Neji and Shino in the other room?"

"Let me go a put Tooru down in her own bed," Shikamaru says as he gets up.

"I don't want to rest, I want to be helping," I protest.

"The best thing you can do right now is rest Tooru. I need… I mean we all need you for this mission. Besides, we won't be far from you, just in the study you and Yamato have next to your room. I will never be too far away Tooru," Shikamaru explains.

There is a pause as he enters my room. The uneasiness has come back again; this uneasiness is something that I do not like. But maybe my gut is wrong just this once. Something feels so wrong about the whole situation.

"Shikamaru," I whisper.

Shikamaru stops right next to my bed, "What is it Tooru?"

I turn away from him as I ask him, "Do you still have feelings for Temari?"

There is a long silence as I wait for him to respond. I have this fear of being abandon by people and Shikamaru is no different. He loved her once and maybe while I have been out he remembered why he loved her.

Which wouldn't be too far away. Shikamaru fell in love with her over a very long time, something that he did not do with anyone else.

If he avoids me does that mean it is true? But how he reacted…

He did the same thing when his teacher died. He also went crazy. There is no way it is for me.

"You need to sleep and not worry Tooru," Shikamaru finally says.

I look back at him and see he is not even looking away. I think I know what his answer is.

He does.

And that stings me a little. I am scared that what I thought wasn't there.

"But the man from the…" I begin to say.

Shikamaru sets me down on the bed, "Tooru, I said you need to sleep. I will be back to check on you in a little bit."

He turns and walks out the door. I lay there and look at the now closed door. Feeling a tear coming I look away from the door. It is still sunny out, but maybe I should sleep. Only, I feel all alone again… something that I never wanted to feel again. And that uneasiness is creeping up on me again. Why does this happen? This is so messed up that I can no longer fathom it. Is it the fact that I have been in the shadows my whole life? I guess so. I was dumb to think that Shikamaru would go for a person like me.

Slowly I drift off.


	27. Chapter 27: Big Brother

**Chapter 27: Big Brother**

I am in front of a shop, one that I always meet him at. We are going to have dinner tonight, something that I have been looking forward to since he told me that if I did well on my mission I could meet his family. I am bouncing with excitement, something that only he has ever seen my do.

I search the crowd. The excitement is overbearing that I need to be doing something. The mission was seeing what Orochimaru is doing and from the looks of it he joined some sort of group. But I couldn't tell what the group was doing. Surprisingly my teammates didn't give me a hard time like most people do. They understood that I was being helpful. The chair I am sitting in does not even allow my feet to touch the floor.

Finally I see him and run up to him.

"Big Brother Itachi!" I exclaim.

"Tooru!" Itachi says and pulls me into a big hug, "I heard you had a great mission little bird."

I nod my head, excited to be around big brother Itachi after a few weeks. I always enjoy being around big brother Itachi, he is someone who actually treats me like I am not some crazy ninja who lost everything. I bounce up and down, ready to be treated for being good on my mission.

"Well, looks like you can come over and have dinner with us, though you know the rule of…" Itachi starts

"Transforming into an older form of myself since I am the age of your brother. I know Itachi," I finish for him.

Itachi smiles and grabs my hand, leading me to his family's land. I quickly transform and let go of Itachi's hand. He then raises an eyebrow at me. I crack a smile at him.

Itachi told me a few things about relationships. And when I am a little kid I can hold his hand but as an older version of myself I cannot.

He taught me a lot when I was younger. Stuff that I never knew and that Lord Third never wanted to talk about. Everything with him had to be what the next mission was or finding anything out about plans within the village.

"Don't want your parents to think anything," I state.

Itachi and I laugh all the way to his house. After we take off our shoes Saskue comes running down the hall. He is only six years old but he still is a smart person for his age. Saskue is someone I would like to know and Big Brother told me that one day I could meet Saskue in my normal form. Which would be amazing for me.

I want a friend that is my age.

"Itachi!" he yells.

"Saskue, I would like you to meet Tooru, her and I work together sometimes," Itachi explains.

"Hi Saskue," I says, "Itachi has told me a lot about you."

Saskue crosses his arms in front of him and glares at me. I guess Itachi was right that Saskue doesn't like sharing his older brother. I smile at him and notice Itachi moving through the house. I stand up straight, it feels weird to be this tall right now.

"Saskue, where are mom and dad?" Itachi ask.

"They just left, something about having dinner with someone. I can't remember," Saskue huffs.

"I'm sorry Tooru, they must have forgotten about tonight. Maybe some other time," Itachi explains to me in a soothing voice.

"But Itachi you promised," I whine.

Itachi chuckles, "I know, but that means I have to watch Saskue tonight. We can meet up tomorrow and have lunch together to celebrate a successful mission."

Now it's my turn to cross my arms in front of my chest, but I pop a hip out and look at Itachi. This only causes him to laugh a little harder than before. I frown at him and know that he will not budge on the topic.

I want to stay and be with him, but I know that Itachi said he should only watch Saskue until I meet his parents.

The scene melts away and I yell, "Itachi, no you can't do that!"

"I'm sorry Tooru but it has to be done," Itachi won't even look at me.

I feel the tears coming, "Itachi… please don't"

I hear my voice crack, how could he? He is going to kill everything he ever loves and leave me all by myself; in a place I don't feel welcomed. The place where Lord Third makes sure of everything I do? When I watch the others grow up and play, I have to be on the battle field.

I can't watch Itachi do this. This is something I never thought would happen, big brother Itachi doing this means that there is no hope for his village.

That I should also give up on a brighter future for the village. I don't know if I can be without big brother. I don't want to be without big brother. But I know this is also hard for him. He has to do it.

"I have to do it. It is for the protection of the village Tooru," Itachi reasons.

"Why can't they settle it peacefully?" I question, feeling the tears running down my face.

There is a pause as Itachi sighs to think about how to explain everything to me. But, he knows I am right. There has to be a peaceful way to settle this. Killing should never be the answer.

I don't want this to be the answer.

"I wish I could explain Tooru but I…" Itachi starts.

"So, what? Are you now going to treat me like a six year old like all the other adults in this village? None of the kids even know I exist! You are the only one that I trust and that treats me like an ANBU member. Please Itachi…" I plead.

"Tooru, this isn't just about you. We do not want a war to break out inside the village, causing us to be weak. I care Tooru, but not as much as you seem to think that I do," Itachi kneels in front of me, "I only watched you because it was asked of me. I care more about Saskue."

"Big brother Itachi…" I begin.

Again the scene fades and I am standing across from Itachi on the roof. I can see that he has been crying. I can't even bring myself to talk. I can only look at him and try to understand why. I know about the masked man and the he is going to join that group. But, I just don't see why he left Saskue alive out of any of them. No way will this be good for either of them. No one can save him now. I can see Saskue going down a dark path.

Itachi looks at me, almost ashamed of what he is doing right now… and his chakra has a gloomy feel to it. One that Itachi has been growing over the last few weeks. I feel a tear running down my face, something that I wish would go away. The rain begins to pour down as Itachi turns away.

I want to cry out to him, I want to hold his hand. I know he will run away from me, something that I don't want.

I'm losing my big brother.

I am watching Team 7 with Naruto, Sakura, Saskue and Kakashi taking a break from training. Naruto looks like he might pass out and Sakura and Saskue are sitting down opening their lunch they packed while Naruto complains loudly about how harsh Kakashi is being. Kakashi gets up and sits in the tree with me.

"What do you think?" Kakashi ask in a bored voice.

"I think you should put them in the running for Chunin. It would be good for them," I state, with no emotion.

"And their chakra?" Kakashi asks.

"Sakura is very child-like right now and needs to build up the confidence. She needs to figure out what she is going to do, she is smart but her chakra is very behind her. Naruto though has a bright chakra has a hostile undertone. Something about the fox inside him, but right now it very chilled out and doesn't want to make any moves yet. Saskue's is very dark and is bound to attract something bad to him," I explain, "But be warned Kakashi, dark times are coming that no one can stop. Orochimaru is planning something."

I go away to the other groups and warn them as well, only I find team 10 sleeping and not doing much training. Eventually I get through all teams and look of my role in the exams. My job is to help them cheat and to watch over in the second part of the exam. After the battle rounds I talk to Lord Third.

"Who do you think will pass Tooru?" Lord Third asks.

I look up from the scrolls I am reading to look at what he is trying to get at. I sigh, "From everyone who passed?"

Lord Third simply nods, I set aside my scrolls and begin to think. Out of everyone who fought today there are only a few that could maybe. But out of the Leafs, one sticks out in my mind.

But it isn't the people who are in the top.

Someone overlooked.

"Shikamaru Nara," I state.

"Why do you think that Tooru?" Lord Third asks leaning into his desk.

"He clearly has the ability. Though he is lazy he can analysis a situation in a heartbeat. Something that none of the others can do well enough. Right now Neji needs to learn a lesson on how to treat his comrades. Watching him fight Hinata proved that, there is no way he can ever move up if he holds things against people like that. Naruto doesn't have the abilities yet along with Saskue. Both are too immature to move up and that is something they are bother going to struggle with. Shino won't be able to show off his abilities, but he will grow quickly," I reply.

Slowly the time comes for the final rounds of the exams. I am working security and come up to Kakashi. Something feels off though. I know for a fact that Orochimaru is near, and that ninja killed last night is one that had to be taken out by someone powerful. That Gaara kid seems off as well. He has the same energy that Naruto has but it is full and what even he has is getting ready for something. I turn to Kakashi wanting to know why he was late.

Lord Third was not pleased and sent e to go and find out wat happened.

Suddenly all hell breaks loose and I am trying to figure out a way to save Lord Third before Orochimaru takes his life. I stand there and watch him die, and there was nothing I could have done. I watch as Lady Fifth takes the seat and explain everything to her. I watch them all grow over 3 long years, it happened so fast. I was sent sometimes to go and check on Naruto and a few times I encountered Saskue. Fighting Saskue was odd, he always seemed to grow stronger each time I saw him.

The war, something that I wish I could forget. How I saved Neji.

There was something flying at Hinata, but Naruto gets in the way. I sink into the ground, leaving Shikamaru and pop up right before Neji gets hit. I turn around and see the surprised look on their faces. I smile and sink back down to help Shikamaru again. I stand by him when Sakura goes to help heal Naruto. Shikamaru and I are standing back to back, I am giving him some chakra so we can get the monster coming at us. But then the jutsu happens.

One where I actually had some control over my life. I had a family and grew up with the rest of the ninja my age.

When I wake up I am lying next to Shikamaru, and I hear something. I turn and see Naruto coming over, some people are up but not many of them. I run away, something that I have done my whole life. I go to the village and wait for everyone to return and work with the others to fix what we could of the village.

As the two years go by, my body becomes automatic. I stop thinking about everything. I focus on tasks at hand. I only look forward to maybe sleeping a bit. Lord Sixth sees this and begins to force me to relax and get some sleep. Only, I can no long rest. My body has to be doing something all the time. Resting is not easy for me to do, something ordered a long time ago by accident. Just knowing that Lord Sixth will order a time to relax is something I want.

But I become a zombie and maybe I always will be.


	28. Chapter 28: Breaking Away

**Chapter 28: Breaking Away**

I wake up being brought close to Shikamaru as he sits us up with a kunai in one hand.

"Get out," Shikamaru hisses.

"Well… well seems like you figured it out Tooru," That voice. He is the leader and he knows who I am, "I guess that I cannot out smart you. Therefore, I have to kill you or take you with me."

He takes a step toward Shikamaru and I, but Naruto comes in and teleports us out to Naruto's apartment.

We land on the floor and I am still held close to Shikamaru. Naruto saved us, at the right moment.

Almost at too perfect of time, but great timing at least.

"Tooru, are you alright?" Shikamaru asks, still holding on to me tightly.

I nod in his chest. What just happened? How did he find us? How did he get past everyone?

There was no way.

Not with the precautions that Shikamaru lined up.

Not with the chakra being broken off.

"How did he find you guys?" Naruto asks as Hinata comes out ready to go.

"We need to move," I state, "He knows where each of you live. We need to switch locations soon and meet up with everyone so we can plan this out."

"Hogake's office?" Hinata asks.

I nod into Shikamaru's chest and can't bring myself to snap out of the situations being played out in my head. I move out of Shikamaru's hold, something I have not done since the first time I meet him that night. I feel like I am going back into a mindless zombie. The information of the group floods my brain, trying to think of a way out of the situation. I stand up and place a bubble around Naruto's home. No one is here and it looks like the leader did not follow us. But that does not mean anything, especially if I am going back to being a mindless zombie.

I move to the door and poke my head out, seeing if the shadows hold any information. Nothing, no networks are tracking us and no way to tell if the leader is lurking right outside the bubble. I don't want to expand it though since that would alert anyone paying attention that something is wrong. I walk back inside to see Naruto grabbing supplies for the office. Lord sixth should still be there. I glance at the clock, eight at night. I look back into the room, for some reason they are all calm compared to how they should be in a situation like this. I feel uneasy about the whole thing. But it is only eight at night.

Perfect, this will give us time and I can go and train. I pause, that is something I have not done in months, go and train at night. Shikamaru is watching me as I walk around. Only his eyes do not have the same effect as they usually do when I am around him. I slightly tense up, knowing something is off here. I sigh, realizing that orders are orders. I always put the mission first, no matter what is happening around me. But why can I not shake this feeling of wanting to be there for people actually? I shake my head and try to refocus.

I can feel myself slipping into the old habits I had before I met Shikamaru. I know that I should not go into them but the village comes first. That is something that rings true and they stay with me more them I remember. The uneasiness begins to overtake me as I move around. Something is not adding up here and it is puzzling me. Finally looking at it without the distraction of friends, things are starting to click about myself.

"Tooru," I hear someone say.

I snap my attention to where the voice came from and see that it is Naruto, I stand at attention like I did a few months ago. Ready for anything and trusting my instinct that something is not right here.

"Yes Naruto?" I ask.

"Well, we are ready to go. Hinata and Shikamaru are going to walk with you while I gather everyone to toward there we will regroup," Naruto says and I nod.

I am ready, I will not be caught off guard at all. I finally see Shikamaru and Hinata ready to go. I am ready to go since I am the target. I have woken up and need to focus on the group. The group, all the information come flooding to me. The time they formed and the fact that we got members.

We have captured two of the group members meaning that the leader will not be too happy with us right now. Even more so, there is a fixation on me right now, since I am breaking a lot of the rules that he has put in place for this operation. But how did we get those two in the first place? Saskue and I should not have been able to take them out, especially since we both had chakra depleted. I shake my head. It is important that we get to lord sixth.

I feel Shikamaru right next to me and I know that we are ready to go. I nod and we head out into the night. We stay in the streets to avoid meeting up with the leader. I still don't like this feeling though, something seems to be unraveling.

"Tooru, do you know what we need to do?" Shikamaru asks.

I nod, "Protecting the village at all cost."

"Tooru that is not what I mean," Shikamaru replies, "More of making sure you get out of this alive."

"No," I snap, "My life in unimportant when it comes to the villages safety. No one will miss me. I know that I need to protect the village and everyone in it. That is my duty to the village being in the position that I am in."

I can feel Shikamaru and Hinata giving each other looks. I cannot stop the words coming from my mouth, I have gone back. I feel myself shutting back down. I cannot go back to that place again.

Yet, I can feel myself slipping into the darkness again, slowly but eventually I will be back to my old self. I… I know I will do something horrible again to Shikamaru. I cannot believe that I did that, or that they all supported me.

I stop in my place. Something is off. Something isn't right.

Why would they forgive me for that? I hurt someone that they all care about. I have put someone through hell by knowing me.

What is the point of doing that? There is a line that ninja never cross, there is a place that people try to stay away from, and this is one of those things.

What kind of ninja would willingly forgive someone that hurt a friend?

I should have never been forgiven, yet I was. I clearly hurt someone. Besides, why would Shikamaru even help me after I broke like that? I did not mean to but it happened. I should have been abandon by everyone. Yet, I wasn't, I mean, nothing is adding up at all now. No matter how I look at it.

I look up at Shikamaru and Hinata. Nothing makes sense.

Why did those two from the group know so little information about the person that they are following? A ninja should know as much as they can about a leader that they are following. Ninja are made to get information. We are trained to look at the world around us and know when to pay attention. Those two knew too little about the leader.

I know so much about Kakashi. It looks like there is no other way. Kakashi knows a lot about me. And the others know a lot about me, as much as I allow. Bit I know so much about them.

They shouldn't have been able to break the seal. Lord Third placed it somewhere, that actual seal. It won't be destroyed until it is ripped up. None of this should be happening. I don't trust this. Why would the walk through the streets? Why send Naruto when Naruto can send out his clones to deal with thing.

This isn't adding up.

This is not my world. I know my ninja way along with so many other things. I back away from them.

"Tooru, what are you doing?" Hinata asks, taking a step toward me.

I instinctively take a step back. Forgiveness does not come easy to someone who betrayed their friends. I should have been scolded for hurting someone like that. Even someone as clueless as me should know better.

"Tooru, do you want the leader to take you away?" Shikamaru asks, almost in too sweet of a tone.

I shake my head, this has to be a dream or something. No way could they have forgiven me.

I bring my hands to form a sign, "Release!"


	29. Chapter 29: Move Out

**Chapter 29: Move Out**

I finally open my eyes to see a cave. I blink a few times and feel the wall that prevents me from telling anyone anything about myself. Meaning it was all a dream. Which I was hoping it wasn't. I want others to know about me, I liked being around others. But only a handful of people know about me, which sucks.

How long have I been out? I know better than to just sit right up. Closing my eyes, I listen to what is going on around me. What a drag, I got captured by someone. I have no idea how long I have been out, but any amount of time is bad. However long I have been out, I need to leave and get out of here.

Meaning I should have been noticed missing.

Which also means nothing with Shikamaru happened. And I don't think it ever will. Which I want, but I know that was what I wanted most now. Just like how I want my family the most.

"She should be waking up soon," A voice says.

"Boss, are you sure taking her like that was a good idea?" Someone else asks.

I scowl a little. Damn, how long have they had me? I have been on multiple missions to spy on this group, yet, when could they have taken me? I made sure that I was always careful.

Shikamaru:

Man, this is a drag. Being awoken at two in the morning to talk to Kakashi sucks. I want to be asleep, because my dream was getting amazing. I never wanted it to end. But there is nothing about having to be awoke at this time.

I yawn and grab the people he instructed me to. Five people, five of us that are going to go on a mission at this hour. It feels like the Saskue rescue mission again, only it isn't a ragtag team, it is an actual group picked by Kakashi.

I approach the first place. Some place that use to be lonely but now is full of life and love. But this kid has always had love in his heart before meeting any of us. Which is a great story and we all appreciate him so much. And I know he will play a key role in the mission, like always.

"Yo! Naruto!" I knock on the door and hear a crash coming from inside.

"What Shikamaru?" Naruto opens the door in his pajamas. He looks annoyed, "Hinata is over! It is the first time her and I have been together in a while. Can't this wait till the morning?"

I shake my head, "Sorry Naruto, Kakashi wants us. We have a mission right now."

This causes Naruto to stop, "Awe man, give me a minute Shikamaru, I need to change first. And say bye to Hinata, again since she and I were both supposed to be off together."

I walk in and wait. Man, this is troublesome. First Temari rejecting me and Kiba getting into a relationship. But I did meet that girl, what was her name? Tooru. I haven't seen her in about a month or so. Which by what I know about her it isn't good. There is a time and a place to worry and I can see why Kakashi could start to worry. She is good at timing. So good at timing it is a little scary, but that also means she likes to work in a system.

It is almost time for the chunin exams too. Kakashi wanted me to help her with something, but other than that I know a lot about her. She left for a mission a few weeks ago and has not come back. Something about spying for three days than returning. But there is a fuzzy memory around her. But I feel like I know her really well.

I do remember helping her. She was always so robotic and hard to follow. It was a drag at first since there were times her logic made very little sense, but in the end it did. Eventually though, she started to show a softer side of herself and I started to grow to like her. It's been a few months of knowing her and I would like to get to know her a little more. I wasn't too worried about her being gone; but Kakashi is seeing red flags because her reports have been inconsistent. I even looked at them compared to old one and they are weird.

One report sent of being chased. The next is hiding in a tree. The following one being lost. Than the pattern would repeat. Normally she has a detailed report back, but most have become one line and vague. Which isn't a good thing.

The trouble I do for the village, I feel a smirk play across my face.

Now, here I am, getting ready to go and find her. A ninja like her should be very hard to find. If I remember right this group is worse since then the Akatsuki. Which is going to make our job a lot harder since we need to find her and make sure she is okay while we move. I can already see a plan forming in my head.

The plan, like the one in my dream. Could that really be a thing? No one else has ever made plans with me like that, just a look changed this aspect of the plan. We were on the same page, a page that no one else has ever been on with me, not even Temari. But I have to wonder, does Tooru get punished like that? If she does that has to be the worst thing ever.

"Alright, ready to go!" Naruto basically shouts.

"How do you have so much energy right now?" I ask annoyed.

Naruto does not reply, which is fine by me, better to not have a loud mouth. We travel by roof top to Sakura's home. A healer, perfect if anyone gets wounded but also good since she isn't defenseless when it comes to fighting. Besides with the others she will be good to help with fighting.

I knock and I can here grumbling from inside. I know we are going to get an earful from her once she that door opens. Which I expect from her, she hates being woken up.

The door flies open and Sakura shouts, "This better be good Nara for waking me up right now! Do you have any idea what time it is?!"

I feel Naruto hide behind me, "Sorry orders from Kakashi, get ready we have a mission."

Immediately Sakura calms down and runs inside to get ready. Sakura knows when to be serious and when she needs to grow up and act like a ninja. She plays the role of healing if we need her.

I sigh, this is a pain. I know that Tooru could be in a lot of trouble right now. We need to get a move on. The longer we wait the harder it will be to find her.

"Say Shikamaru," Naruto starts, "What are we even doing?"

"First we have to gather everyone Kakashi ordered me to, second we go to his office to get the full details about the mission he wants us to leave for before the sun rises. I have an idea of what it is but I could not tell you much because it is something I have not been told a lot about," I state.

"Can you tell me anything?" Naruto asks.

"We need to get Neji, Tenten and Shino. We are forming two three man teams for what I assume is a rescue mission," I explain.

Sakura comes running out and we are off again. I don't want to talk but I am puzzled by why we are going. From what I have been told it sounds like something ANBU should be handling. Why hasn't Kakashi informed the ANBU anyway? This most be sensitive, but the ANBU are better at this. Tooru is an ANBU member, meaning that there is a chance ANBU haven't been able to figure out where she is. Which I don't know why we are being asked to go.

This is a drag for the six of us to be taking care of. Tooru is in in the ANBU after all, therefore a team specialized to save people should be formed to get her and not people who have just became jonin, I do not see Kakashis angle on this one. Beside, from what I remember about the mission she was working on the group we are dealing with is bad news.

We make it to Tenten's to find Neji there, making this less of a drag. Quickly they get ready, and Naruto and Sakura stay quiet. We head off and after we pick up Shino we are off to Kakashi.

Eventually we are standing in front of Kakashi who looks dead tired. I click my tongue, waking us up in the middle of the night. Why can this not wait until the morning, if this rescue mission is that important he should send someone other than us to be handling it?

But if it is the middle of the night that means that it is important we find her soon.

I still want to know why we have to be the ones that have to go get her. Kakashi waits for a moment.

"Now before we begin I need to ask. I know that it is going to be strange but please answer the best way that you can. Are any of you having strange dreams?" Kakashi yawns.

"Um, strange dreams?" Naruto asks.

I tilt my head and an annoyed expression plays across my face. What is Kakashi getting at? We should be told what the dangers are and go. Not talking about dreams. This is a waste of time. None of us should be talking about this. I don't want to admit it but I slightly wish the dream was real.

This is the second time Tooru has gone on a mission. Apparently they are exchanging files. But everything after has been a dream.

"Dreams that you would find out of ordinary and that pertain to someone none of you know but can name right off the top of your head, unlike Shikamaru who knows who I am talking about but you five barely know anything about this person," Kakashi explains.

What the hell is this all about?

Odd dreams that we have been having? There is no reason for Kakashi to be asking this of us. I mean sure I have had them because I have started to like her. Everyone has met her once or twice but never fully understood her. But they all knew her in the dream. I helped her become a part of the group. I want to know she is okay.

He is making a point but we need to worry about something else. We need to be getting ready to leave. Once we leave we can find her.

"Well," Neji begins, "Does this have anything to do with someone named Tooru?"

I feel my eyes go wide with shock. Kiba is the only other one who know that girl is alive. Well, that she exist outside of the blurry stories people have been telling me about her. I know this is serious. I look at Kakashi who nods to Neji.

Kakashi has something he is not telling us, only barely have any of them had an interaction with her. I have worked with her for months, so I know who she is. But Neji and them know nothing about her. She was never allowed to tell her story to them.

There was something that blocked her, or she was blocking herself from it. She was closed off and things like that can't be broken overnight. Naruto was learning about it very quickly. Neji was as well.

"And judging from Shikamau's reaction he has been having these dreams too. Look, I need to know, this could help the mission," Kakashi leads forward on his desk.

"Then yes," Neji starts, "Not every night but often and I wake up realizing that it was a dream. From what I remember she thought I hated her. I remember talking to a girl who looked similar but I have almost forgotten about her. No matter how hard I try to remember her I never can."

"Mine is the same as Nejis, except I became her friend, and she was actually a good friend too," Naruto chimes in.

Eventually they all say one thing or another but me. I look at the ground and wonder why.

Man, this is bad. This means that we are connected in some way. Or she had imprinted on all of us during the interactions she had with us… but those kisses felt so real. Those kisses are still lingering.

I mentally shake my head. I know that this is going to be troublesome for us.

"Shikamaru," Kakashi says.

I look up and pause. I feel every one's eyes are on me as I take in a deep breath, "Almost every night. But they are never the same, it is almost like she is here in the village still."

Kakashi looks at me and knows I will say no more but that is all he needed for me to say. The mission is going forward as I try to understand what is truly going on.

"Alright, time for information," Kakashi leans forward again, "This is a rescue mission being led by Shikamaru. Two teams of three to get Tooru Kato who was captured about a month or so ago. This important because she has been looking into a group that could bring the ninja world to another war. We believe she is being held in a cave masked. You guys must retrieve her at all cost, she must come back alive since she has the information we need to prevent this war from happening. Leave."

We leave the building and travel by roof top to the gate. I look ahead since I have to figure out how to put this together to make sure we get her alive back to the village. Everyone else is silent as we head for the gate.

The kisses with her, her panicking in my arms, me thinking that I figured out how to let other know about her and everything else. I was sleeping in her bed with her, I would wake up and try to find her, only I couldn't. I would like to know why this is happening.

"Well Shikamaru, what's the plan?" Sakura asks.

I shake my head. I need to be leading this team.

"We have two teams, a front and back group. Neji, Shino and Sakura will be in the back, ready to heal and cover. Myself, Naruto and Tenten will lead and attempt to create a diversion. The plan is to draw them out grab Tooru and go, I don't want to be in a battle too long with these guys," I state.

We begin to travel right as the sun begins to rise.


	30. Chapter 30: The Truth and Dreams

**A/N: Whooo! First time I have updated a chapter in a really long time. I am still editing the story but now it is getting better. As always please follow and favorite!**

 **Chapter 30: The Truth and Dreams**

I keep my eyes closed and try to figure out what is going on.

All my chakra is working and there is no sign of any kind of odd chakra in my system. I push out my senses and can see that the sun is starting to rise. The forest is clam, we are not too far from the clearing.

Good, maybe I can get away. But that is only a possibility of getting away and right now the odds are not in my favor. Considering that I have been out and that I can sense at least two other people in the cave with me makes it slightly harder to figure out an escape plan.

I also know I have a lot of chakra drained from me but that will not stop me from getting back to the village.

I mean Kakashi had to have seen I was missing right?

I try not to sigh, maybe he didn't yet.

I have no idea how long I have been out. It doesn't seem like the weather has changed much, so maybe I have only been gone for a day. Who would know honestly? I mean, the fact that I got caught is bad news. The fact that a rescue team has not been sent out is a sign that it hasn't been a full day yet, let alone I have no idea when I was caught.

Or it could be longer. They could be having a hard time finding me. Which isn't good. But now I am more use to them than just being knocked out.

This is a lot to take in.

There are too many factors that I would have to assume and I hate making assumptions about that I have no idea about. This is a worst case for me since I have been left in the dark both literally and figuratively. The two are talking about something, this could be a clue.

"You know this girl is more useful than anyone else right?" I hear a voice say.

Any ninja you capture is use to you, but it's better if you know the ninja's powers. These guys have no clue who I am. And even then they would have to assume that I am the ninja that will make a huge deal in the ninja world going missing.

Are these guys new to being a ninja? I am useful but they have no idea what I can do. Big mistake on their part.

"From the memories that Natsuko pulled from her it has to be that Tooru from the village hidden in the leaves," Another voice replies.

"Idiot, that girl has a huge block on a lot of things that even Natsuko could not pull out. For all we know those are fake memories," The first one argues.

I hear a sigh.

I am a puzzle piece that can fit perfectly but if they put in the piece before they even get a chance to do all the proper investigation they could piss off the wrong person and end up getting killed.

With the current generation of ninja there is a greater chance that they could be beaten by someone younger than them with less experiences. From how they talk they have seen two wars, not counting civil wars and minor ones that did not reach across the whole shinobi world. Not to mention that they are already being beaten by a younger ninja.

But I might be special since I have the seal on me.

"Think about it Mako, there are so many thing that could happen! We could assume this girl is in fact Tooru from the village hidden in the leaves; she would help bring so many things together in our plan. But if that is wrong then we could get in big trouble from the boss," The first one says.

"And no one wants to be on special duty…" Mako trails off.

"Look, its logical and very good. The boss will have our heads if any type of information is leaked out the leaders of any village. Who knows how long this girl has been spying on us?" The first one asks.

There is a moment of silence. They could have code names to help cover up their identities from being discovered, but these two are speaking like they have been comrades for a long time. The way they talk about Natsuko is also very familiar. But it might be coming from working together for a while at this point. I cannot push out my senses anymore that would alert them that I am awake and getting ready to make a move.

But they are making moves quickly.

So they don't want anyone knowing about them yet. I figured that. I just don't want to assume in any place.

There is shuffling in the cave, "I am going out for a walk. Watch her Mako and make sure she does not walk up idiot."

There are footsteps walking out of the cave. This would be the best time to strike, one on one is what I am good at. But, the problem is that I have no idea what power this person named Mako has. He can have any form of jutsu that I am not familiar with and that could cause a problem for me. I don't particularly like thinking on my feet when it comes to one on one fights since that takes time away from me being able to get away.

This group has given me some interesting work over the last year or so, but nothing that could give me an advantage to fighting them now. I never planned on being caught, and just the fact that I was is amazing since no one ever has before. But I do have to wonder when I did get caught and just how much of what I saw was a dream and what I know I actually lived through. Meeting Shikamaru had to have been real, there are things that I can recall never planning. But, that doesn't matter if I don't know when I was taken.

Besides, how do I know that I am even fully awake right now? I could still be out or in a different location.

I hear footsteps approach me. It should be Mako.

 **Triggering! This is where it about starts.**

"What good are you to us anyway?" Mako asks, coming close, "I can think of many ways for you to be useful to me at least. I know that the boss won't mind if I accidently slipped and did something to you. Only what fun would it be if you were awake though."

I hear him chuckling and I am trying to piece together what he means. I could surprise him saying that I am awake but that would blow everything. I need to think of something fast. I feel the footsteps stop for a moment, I can feel hot eyes on me.

This isn't right.

"Natsuko is fun and all but I like when there's more of a fight," I hear the footsteps coming closer to me, "You know when he goes for a walk that gives me about thirty minutes to an hour to have some fun. And I like to drag it out. Just maybe, for once I should take advantage of those that are weaker than me."

It finally clicks in my head.

No… he can't mean. I need to get out of here fast. I cannot waste any more time. I have a bad feeling about what is going to happen to me. Thinking, only one exit and Mako is standing between it and me.

He stops right next to me. I wait for some form of opening to attack him. I wait, I know something is about to happen.

I feel a foot against my side and I let out a surprised yelp. That was a lot harder than I would have ever thought. I feel myself go into the air by a foot, I finally open my eyes to see that I am on my way to the roof of the cave when a hand brings down his whole force to my stomach. I feel the blood coming out of my mouth.

"How long did you think that you could fool me with acting like you were still asleep? Pathetic," Mako says as he grabs me by the collar of my shirt and throws me into a wall.

I prop myself up with my elbow and know that I am in so deep trouble. He has already causes me to bleed like crazy and throwing me against a wall is not that easy. But that doesn't stop his actions.

"I like to play a little bit before the real fun begins," Mako states as he slowly walks over to me.

I spit out a mouthful of blood and slowly stand up. I lean against the wall for support, trying to slow down the bleeding even slightly. I know I have no weapons any more, smart move on their part. I do not have enough chakra to stop the bleeding and fight Mako at the same time. I need to pick one.

I am scared of what the real fun is though. I don't want to be around to find that out.

I glance around and see nothing that can be of use to me. I look back at Mako and see him smiling as he walks to me. I need to just hit him or something, anything that will give me the upper hand right now so I can run and hide.

"You know how we found you?" Mako asks, bringing me out of my thoughts, "We found you sleeping the morning of the meeting, a big mistake on your part."

I grunt and inch down the wall to the mouth of the cave. Lucky I have a clear shot at it but I know that Mako is going to be faster than me. I just need to get there so I can get out of the cave, fighting in a cave like this is bad.

But they found me. They actually caught me. I overslept.

This isn't good.

"I see you noticed you don't have a lot of chakra, welcome to the regular life of a shinobi where we have a small amount of chakra, you are at a normal level; at first we thought you had a tailed beast inside of you but no, you just have a lot of chakra. We knocked it down though while you were knocked out. Helped us a lot. I just want to know who you are," Mako is a good few centimeters from me.

He pushes me against the wall and pulls my arms over my head. I let it happen and wait for the moment to kick him right where I hope it will hurt like crazy. He takes one hand away and leans in very close to me. He exposes my neck and he slobbers on it.

He is almost a full foot taller than me but puts me at eye level with him. His face is close to mine, I hate the smell of his breath. When did this guy take a bath last or even brushed his teeth?

I feel like vomiting.

This whole situation has gotten out of hand, and I hate to say it but I need the help of anyone. Two people is better than one in a situation like this. Mako can naturally over power me and he is using it to his advantage. I feel him pouring chakra into his muscles to give them a boost in pinning me down. He naturally relies on chakra to take care of his opponents swiftly or to weaken them for someone else to come in. The problem is that this takes a large amount of chakra to maintain, even for a ninja who has spent years perfecting this technique. Not to mention that I am only about 5 feet tall. This always makes fighting slightly harder.

I squint my eyes and try to lower my sense of smell because the smell of him is making me sick.

I put chakra into my leg and kick him right as he closes his eyes. He drops me and grabs where I kicked him. I scramble up and make a break for the mouth of the cave putting all my senses on high alert. I used too much chakra right there. More than even I care to admit.

I feel the air beginning to slice as I turn around and see a tunnel of wind coming at me. I widen my eyes and try to move but the wind catches my foot and slams me face first into the wall. I groan in pain as I start to get up but I feel someone approaching me quickly. The anger is steaming off of Mako.

I silently curse at myself.

"Why you little, you are going to pay," I feel a hand grip the back of my shirt and a sharp object cuts my side, "I was going to make this fun for you too but now you are in for a world of hurt!"

I try to get out of his grasp but my efforts are met with a fist to the face knocking me back into the wall. I can feel the anger coming off of him and for once in my life I wish I was not here, in this situation. He brings his foot up but I am able to barely roll away and throw him away from me. He lands as I get up and back toward the mouth of the cave.

Mako grabs me by the leg and stands up putting me upside down. I feel blood rushing to my head. I cough up more blood. I am lifted up higher into the air; I feel myself beginning to spin and know that Mako is getting ready to throw me again.

I manage to curl up and hit a pressure point in his hand. I hear a small curse as I am thrown toward the mouth of the cave. I feel like some of my ribs have cracked from being thrown. I cannot heal them though. I need to focus on getting out of the cave before Mako gets back up. Great, my lucky break. I struggle up and turn toward Mako who is glaring with a kunai in his hand.

 **You are safe here! No more trigger.**

Mako comes charging at me when I see things flash by me. They all go towards Mako as he dodges, forgetting about me. I can see that he is trying not to get killed. I freeze and prepare to fight, I feel that it is around noon, maybe his friend came back. This is no longer good for me, I am going to die here in this cave by the hands of this stupid group.

I see someone come in front of me and turn his head, "You're Tooru right?"

That lazy voice, it can be no one else but Shikamaru. He was sent to come rescue me since he is one of the few people that know who I am.

"Yes," I say, finally realizing that I am panting.

Two people come and flank him as he turns to me, "We are here to save you, something about you be a comrade that cannot be left for dead. Why we were sent you would have to ask someone else. I have an idea of why we were sent but I will share that with you later."

Behind him I can see clashing as the blonde and the girl with buns fighting Mako. Both of them are close range fighter but it doesn't look like they are giving it their all with this fight. The blonde has to be Naruto, and I have seen what he can do, this is nothing that he cannot handle. The girl with the buns just pulls out weapon after weapon.

I widen my eyes, and I finally see what they are doing. Creating a distraction to get me out of here. I wince in pain, I can feel the cracked ribs. I hold my side, trying to keep eye contact with Shikamaru. His lazy expression softens just a little, almost as though he knows my whole life; that he and I have actually talked about things other than the group. I click my tongue, this is something that should have never happened; I know that for a fact. Kakashi is going to have to punish me and he knows it. This is something that I should not have let happen.

Shikamaru grabs me and runs out of the cave with the two other following him. I yelp in pain since his hand is right against the stab wound. I curse him silently since it puts me in pain and I cannot fight like this. I can see behind us and that Mako is unable to follow us since he has a few injuries the will keep him there for a minute or two.

"Calm down we have a medical ninja with us. We have a place where we can guard and she can heal. Besides you have access to my weapons should that guy follow us. You are the eyes behind us," Shikamaru explains.

"Some plan smart one. Go the village instead," I demand.

"As if!" The girl with us exclaims, "We cannot take you to the village like this. You will bleed out before we get half way there."

I snort. This is dumb, some rescue. Grab and run, not even going to capture to enemy? I roll my eyes. But I am grateful that Kakashi sent someone to come and help me. If not, who know what would have happened in the cave. After a few minutes we stop in a clearing and I am laid down. I look up and see a girl with pink hair focusing on closing up my wounds. I watch as she evaluates my wounds and sees the damage and that there is more than even I know about.

"Shikamaru she won't be able to get to the village on her own," She says.

"I'll carry her than," Shikamaru replies.

Everyone stands at the ready, the girl with the pink hair is focused on making sure that I make it back to the village. I know medical stuff but I never use it, I would prefer not to. I like fighting way more. I sense that everyone is standing at the ready, something I normally do. I do not like being the odd man out and being treated. But I haven't been beaten up in a long time, so there is that, my body is not use of being hurt. Spying mission tend to make it hard to get hurt, especially since I am small enough to fit in small spaces.

"Watch out the bushes," I say.

I tilt my head toward the bush and watch as the guy with the really long hair changes his stance and attacks the Mako guy who followed us. I attempt to get up but I am pushed back down by the medical-nin working on the stab wound.

"Stop moving, the more you move the longer this is going to take. I don't want to show them everything that I have," She snaps at me.

I snort and lay down. I know to listen to a medical-nin, especially one I am sure trained under Lady Fifth. I hear the clashing of metals.

"Neji fall back. Shino Tenten attack and create an opening," I hear Shikamaru bark.

Even before his words are done the formation changes, I see so this Shino and Tenten are two distance fighter. But in the cave Tenten was hand to hand, I guess that she can do both depending on the weapon she has. The pink haired girl gets up and begins to move as Shikamaru picks me up and we begin to move again.

Shikamaru looks down at me, "Don't worry, I have a plan to get you out of here and capture that guy. It might take us a little bit but I know my team can do it."

I watch as a smirk plays across his face and I can't help but to think I have seen it before. I feel my head fall into his chest and I can hear his heart beat. I feel my eyes go wide again because unlike most other ninja his heartbeat is strong and steady, almost as though he is positive that he will get everyone out of here alive and back to the village.

"Shikamaru the traps are ready whenever we are," the blonde on says.

"Good work Naruto. Now we lead him on the chase," Shikamaru replies, "Ready for another round of healing Tooru?"

I look up at him and wonder what he is planning. No one can have this elaborate of a plan.

But than I remember the dreams.

Shikamaru Nara, a master planner and can change his plans at a moments notice.

Someone Kakashi trust.

"Sure," are the words I hear coming from my mouth.

I watch a small play of amusement comes across Shikamaru's face. I sigh, why can I not form any thoughts? Must be from all the blood lose, from what I can tell I lost a lot when I was in the cave. We drop down into a clearing and they set up again. This time leaving the pink haired girl at my side.

"I healed you to the best of my ability, but doesn't hurt to double check ones work right?" She smiles at me, "Oh, by the way, I'm Sakura. I think you know my teacher, lady fifth."

I nod, "And I am assuming that you know my name is Tooru?"

She nods and begins her second check on me. I wait for this all to be over. I can tell I have gone robotic again. But I never fully got out of being a robot now did I?

Sakura and I both hear rustling in the bushes. We look over and see that it is Mako. I realize that it is only Sakura and I in the clearing. I feel Sakura get up and put on gloves.

"My turn to shine. Tooru, just hang out there." Sakura steps over me and casually walks up to Mako.

"What is this? A girl thinks she can beat me up?" Mako says as he begins to laugh, "Someone is cocky leaving this to a girl. A medical-nin no less."

Mako gets low and charges at Sakura. Sakura just pulls back her fist and right as Mako is about to attack Sakura punches him right in the gut. I look with Byakugan and see that she focused chakra into her fist, something that takes a lot of focus and chakra control. I would expect nothing less from lady fifths pupil.

Mako doubles over in pain as Sakura actually gets in a stance to fight. Mako slowly gets up and looks over to where I am laying down. Sakura slides in front of me.

"I am the one you are fighting right now," Sakura growls.

"Fine by me, take you out and take that girl is what I want to do," Mako replies.

Sakura is ready for him. He throws two kunai at her and she dodges them with ease. I can only lay down and watch. I feel that I am regaining chakra, it is only about half full right now.

Sakura is caught in his grip but as she is about to be sent flying into a tree she is able to plant one foot on the ground and send him flying into the tree instead. I see that Mako lands up right and is ready to take her on again. I see Sakura's smile and can tell that she doesn't get much of a chance to fight against anyone. She normally plays support, but she can hit.

Mako looks mad again though. I don't know how much longer Sakura can last against this guy. He doesn't seem like the type that would give up so easily.

Sakura changes her stance to keep her center lower to the ground. Mako mimics her and they simply stare each other down. I am wanting to know who will make the first move. Sakura is using counter attacks against him, which makes fight a lot easier. Only for that you would need to know the fighting style of the enemy. Something that she could do but to know so quickly within the first battle that she has had against him.

Mako takes a step forward, he is actually thinking about his next move against her. He must have evaluated her and realized that Sakura is more than just a medical-nin. She has also trained to fight, something that lady fifth always believed in. Slowly Mako approaches Sakura, only to find three throwing needles scraping the side of his left cheek. He barely dodged it though.

Sakura has a smile creeping up on her face. This was all planned, from the start. Shikumaru is making this plan elaborate to where each ninja looks to be acting alone. Only, he gave them a skeleton outline of the plan; smart on Shikumaru's end since they all trust him when he makes a plan by himself.

Mako charges at her, thinking that she left herself open for an attack but that is where he is wrong. Sakura wants him to attack her so she can create an opening for someone else. I have not figured out the plan yet, but I know that Naruto's shadow clones are plotting something out of sight.

Sakura dodges him trying to punch her in the face, as she comes back up from the backbend she kicks him in the face, hooking her toes under his jaw and throwing him into the tree behind her. Mako never saw it coming; he fell for the trap so easily. A simple one that anyone could see through.

In a flash Naruto ties Mako to the tree and gives Sakura a thumbs up.

"Nice on Sakura! He fell for everything you threw at him!" Naruto basically yells.

I feel myself being picked up and see that it is Shikamaru. He has a smirk across his face, notifying me that his plan went well.

"Good job, now lets get Tooru and this guy back to the village," Shikamaru turns and jumps into the trees.

I hear everyone else following and chatting among themselves about how well the plan actually went. Shikamaru is giving me a piggy back ride. I slump my head on his shoulder and sigh.

"That was a large sigh for you," Shikamaru observers.

I click my tongue, "Why do you make the statement?"

"Well, you seem like you are disappointed about something," Shikamaru pauses, "Mind telling me what happened?"

"It was a mistake, something that will never happen again," I answer.

"I thought we were working on this together, therefore I am asking to be briefed about what happened," Shikamaru says.

I look up at the sky, what a drag this is. I hate explaining things to people. I can feel an eye roll coming on. I forgot that Shikamaru was helping me out, plus he is pulling the card of being teammates, something I can never deny.

Lord Third never allowed me to deny a teammate information.

"Fine," I finally say, "I don't know much, I was taken before the meeting even started, so I have no idea how long I have been out for. But I do know two code names. Mako and Natsuko. Both seem to be familiar with the group, in almost a creep sort of way. Mako is the idiot over there, his friend should be back about now to see that that cave is empty. My guess is that we have a little bit before this goes around to the group fully."

I feel Shikamaru nodding his head. I cannot see his face but I can imagine that he is thinking about something. I can feel myself tensing up just thinking about the cave and how I was found out.

"Relax," Shikamaru say, "I can feel you tensing up making it harder to move through the trees."

"Observant person aren't you?" I question.

I hear him click his tongue, "I thought you already grilled me about this. About a month or so ago."

I think back, that's right. I made a comment the first time we met and he brought it back up and pointed something out to me in my house that I never paid any mind to.

"I guess you are right," I pause, "What were the needles dipped in?"

"I see you at least caught that. They were dipped in a poison that causes the person to be suspended between life and death. Thus, making it easier to move Mako through the land and him not causing a scene out here where there can be any one out here," Shikamaru replies, "Honestly, I thought about doing that to you but Sakura has that look in her eye that you had been in that state for too long already, sending you back would only hurt you and might ruin the whole mission."

"You guys think they put me in that state?" I ask.

Shikamaru nods, "Or at least something similar. Either way putting you in a state where you could not move would have harmed us. Lucky you weren't being so robotic, I guess even the strictest ninja can have a soft spot once in a while."

I snort at that, "I just feel weakened right now, give me a few hours and I will kick your butt."

Shikamaru chuckles, "You won't be fighting for a while. Looking at you, you have cracked ribs and you got stabbed. Not to mention what they did to you before you even woke up. Sakura only made it to where your life was not in danger in the first clearing, we would have been there sooner but we had to prep for the plan. Be glad the first trapped worked as well as it did, if not the other would have just been stalling for time with less chance of actually getting him. Sakura wanted to fight so putting them up against a medical-nin is something they would not have expected."

I see Naruto come up next to us, "Yo Shikamaru we should be back in the village in about an hour. I'm guessing that she is going to the hospital right away?"

"You bet she is going to the hospital!" Sakura yells from behind us.

I sigh, "I need to report to Lord sixth first about what happened."

"Tooru…" Shikamaru starts.

"You know I cannot go against orders. First thing I must do is see lord sixth, after that is when we can worry about my health. Until than take me to lord sixth," I say coldly.

"Shino," Shikamaru starts, "Tell Kakashi to meet us at the hospital so that way Tooru can get looked at right away and we don't have to put her life in danger because of a rule."

Shino nods and sends his bugs to the village. I sigh. My life is not important, the village is important and that this information should be put first. I can feel the annoyance coming on, something that I hate feeling. Not like I feel anyway. Mostly everything is numb to me.

"Tooru," I hear Shikamaru say.

"What is it Shikamaru?" I ask, clearly annoyed.

"Do you have any idea why Kakashi sent us here to get you?" Shikamaru questions.

I glance around and see that the others are ahead of us, ordered not to pay attention to the conversation. I sigh, man this could become really bad really fast. But, I do need to figure out why.

Kakashi works in a very different way than Lord Third.

I never know what Lord Sixth is thinking, or why he is planning anything. I tried but I figure it out at the last moment.

"Honesty, I have no idea. You guys are all jonin and at that most have only become jonin. Personally, I would have sent ANBU to come and get a ninja who I know was being held hostage by a group I was aware is powerful. So, that raises the question of why you guys were sent," I reply.

I feel Shikamaru take in a breath, "I have a few theories on why. The first one is that we are all connected to you in some way."

"What is that suppose to mean?" I ask, a little confused.

"You were out for a month right?" Shikamaru counters. I shake my head and he continues, "Well, I believe in all of the short encounters you had with each of us you accidently left an imprint on us. Since I spent the most amount of time with you it was greater on me. Neji has a strong one along with Naruto. My guess is that Kiba also has a pretty strong imprint on him and Akamaru. Which leads me to believe that it was some form of accident."

"How do you mean I imprinted on you?" I think I already know the answer but I just need to be sure.

The dreams always had Shikamaru in them.

"I think you know the answer to that but to confirm your theory, yes. We all have been having what Kakashi called 'dreams'. It was realistic and it was like we were getting to know you every day," Shikamaru starts.

"Which means," I continue, "That say I had a dream where we were training and you ran off because of something that was said to you while I was gone. I don't know what was said or even if it was true, but the emotions felt too real. Or if I was freaking out, the pain on my arm was real if someone was pinning me to the floor."

Shikamaru nods, "So I see that they were the same. When did you figure it out?"

"Something felt off when I was forgiven for hurting you guys, but I could not figure out what it was. It wasn't until I was heading to the office that something felt off about the whole situation. I became robotic again and something finally clicked," I respond, "Anything more to your first theory?"

"No, I think I understand it. But the second theory is that no ANBU would take to job or it would tip someone off," Shikamaru changes topics.

I glare ahead of me pushing away the comment I want to make, "Still think someone in the ANBU is part of the group?"

"Yes," Shikamaru pauses, "If Kakashi sent ANBU than they would have known something was wrong right away and that this mission was taking place, by sending us, there would be no leak until we got back to the village and by that point you might recover and we might get some information out of the guy."

"How high up in the ANBU do you think this person is?" I grill.

"Pretty high. One of the ones who recommends members to Kakashi for missions," Shikamaru explains.

"Or they have some good connections. Think there might be a new Foundation?" I ask.

I wrap my arms around Shikamaru as a wave of sleep over takes me. But we need to figure this out before anything else, I can maybe sleep later. The mission comes first, as always.

I feel Shikamaru tilt his head and chuckle, "Possible Tooru, but you should sleep, and we still have a little ways to go before we make it back to the village."

"No," I groan, "We need to figure this out, and this is the best time to."

Again Shikamaru chuckles, "After you wake up we can discuss. I will be there when you brief Kakashi and myself fully. I will even give him what you told me, so you can rest. There is no point in pushing yourself if you are just going to stop making sense."

"Fine," I mumble and listen to his steady breath.

For some reason I find it a huge comfort. I feel my eyes close.


	31. Chapter 31: The Conversation

**Chapter 31: The Conversation**

I open my eyes to see the tiles of the hospital.

I sigh, man this is dumb. I should be figuring out what is going on with the group, looking into Mako's mind to get anything about him. I am leading this mission and I need to do my part about it, since I just spent a while knocked out in a cave. I am clearly behind in planning and now I have to figure out a way to get information on the group since I no long have direct contact with them other than Mako.

I glance around the room and I find myself in eye contact with brown eyes.

"Glad to see that you are awake," Shikamaru comments.

I snicker, "Glad to be awake."

"Are you going to go on about having to talk to Kakashi or are you going to listen to me?" Shikamaru question.

I glare at him. Should I request to talk to lord sixth or listen to what Shikamaru has to tell me? I need to tell lord sixth about the cave and everything that happened in the dreams. I also need to discuss possible strategies with him. But, what is there to actually tell him? I am sure Shikamaru has told him everything that is important to say about what happened. I look around and see that lord sixth is not in the room, so I could request to speak to him in an hour; but right now is a good time to figure out what Shikamaru wants to tell me.

"I will speak with him in an hour, but till then I will listen to you," I reply.

Shikamaru pauses for a moment. Getting ready to tell me. I don't know what he is trying to tell me. But I want to know so I can figure everything else out.

"Alright," Shikamaru says, "First off, what the hell were you thinking? You of all people should have known that help was on the way."

I look away from him, I know where this is going and I do not want to go there. I mean, I know but I had to get away or else Mako would have… no. I cannot let my emotions get the better of me today. I need to shut down again and look at this from a calm point of view to figure everything out.

I didn't know help was on the way. I didn't know how long I had been out. But there are a lot of things that I needed to figure out.

"I know, I just needed to get back to the village," I manage.

"You needed to… that is so typical of you Tooru," Shikamaru snickers.

"Shikamaru you have listen to my story, you of everyone knows my duties to the village and that I cannot ignore them, even if I try to they are always inside me. I know that I will be punished and that no matter what I made a stupid mistake by being caught. I greatly apologize for the trouble I have cause you and your team you brought to rescue me," I sound so cold.

I see Shikamaru thinking. He knows as well as I do that these words are automatic. Something that I have said countless times. I know my duties as does Shikamaru. Which he also knows I cannot be away for too long and prolong missions like how I did with this one.

"Besides, you know that I cannot stop what will happen to me once lord sixth hears what happened. I was caught and put the village in danger because of it. I know lord sixth is thinking of a punishment for me right now. I have to be ready and I have a feeling it will be a bad punishment this time. There is nothing that you can do to stop this Shikamaru," I codly say.

"Tooru, I have a question for you," Shikamaru states.

I pause, feeling my face turn to stone as we are talking. I know that I am becoming robotic, honestly I am okay with it. It was crazy having those dreams, those dreams where I melted. I should have known it was too good to be true.

No way in hell would Shikamaru go for me!

"Do you really have to be punished?" Shikamaru asks.

"Yes, Lord Third wished it." I answer.

"But why? Tell me why." Shikamaru pleads.

I have to tell him. I was told to tell Shikamaru everything about me. I never should have left that information out.

"To keep me in line. I was told to be the perfect ninja and now I am. Change the topic." I demand.

Shikamaru stops.

Shikamaru should just not ask questions. I have a dark past, a past he shouldn't know about.

He needs to move on with his life and be with other people.

Before I left he was going on dates and looked like he actually liked some of the girls he was going out with. I was only a stepping stone, I should have never let him see me in a state, so open.

I hated being so open to him. Sure it was nice but I knew I was going to get hurt. Those dreams meant nothing, I was still the same person as I was before I left. Only now, I truly knew my place in the village. Nothing more than a piece in a game played against the other villages in the shinobi world. That is all I ever will be.

"Did you have any dreams?" Shikamaru finally asks.

"What do you mean by dreams Shikamaru?" I question.

I give him a look of confusion. This is odd, even for me.

"Dreams that resulted in you thinking it was reality when it really wasn't," Shikamaru explains.

I pause, what is this suppose to mean? Did Shikamaru… there is no way he could have. This type of this only works on the person it is being casted on. Unless something went wrong? I have no idea how that could have happened though; I was the one under the spell, not him. I keep my face neutral as I think of what to say to him.

"Dreams; that seemed like reality? I guess you could say that, what significance does it hold though?" I look into his eyes.

I watch as they calculate what he should say next. I narrow my eyes, trying to figure out what is going on here. Clearly I am out of something and I need to be in it.

"Shikamaru, tell me what is going on," I say.

"Well, allow me to explain," Shikamaru pauses, "It seems that we have some connection things that we need to discuss. Specifically the dreams."

Dreams, kissing Shikamaru is all I can think about. I look Shikamaru right in the eyes. He looks very deep in thought; something that I understand. These dreams, did they not only affect me? They all seemed so real. Would Shikamaru have had the same dreams?

"Care to share?" I finally ask.

Shikamaru takes a deep breath, "Dreams with you and waking up forgetting that you were gone. They started the day you left to go and spy, the day after I had gotten back from my mission with Yamato."

"And I was taken shortly after I was having those dreams," I pause, "Only, I have no idea what was real and what was reality."

"What kind of things did you see?" Shikamaru asks.

I stop, I have to fill him in. This has to do with the group, no matter what the group captured me and put me in a fake world. Which mean I should tell him, not the trivial matters though. Everything that happened with the group, me melting in those dreams was all part of the illusion.

"Well, that there was chakra inserted into me, I was tracked by the leader, eventually knocked out and before I actually woke up the leader had come into my room and we were getting ready to move," I say.

"I know that there is way more to it," Shikamaru comments.

I am taken aback by this, "What does that mean?"

"There were more interactions than just the group," Shikamaru leans against the wall.

I narrow my eyes at him, "Do you care to share?"

Shikamaru looks down at the ground. He doesn't seem to into sharing what is going on through his head. I sigh, I don't want to have ask him about it, only we are working on this group together now under Kakashi's orders. If it has to do with the group he needs to let me know about it, I could care less about the trivial matters right now. I need to put together this puzzle that is the group.

"You know that we have to tell each other everything that is related to the group," I finally say.

He sighs, "Well, there was a lot of interactions between you and me. It got to the point that I forgot that any of it was a dream since it felt so real. I mean, even the little ticks that the others do were there as well. Which made it harder to leave that dream and come back to reality in the morning. Unlike for you where it did become your reality."

I look at him, does this mean that he also had the same experiences? I shake my head, no. That cannot be possible. Ticks from the others? I mean they all had patterns, some that they did every day that I had been watching them. But if they were the same than he might know about Temari, something that hurt him in the dream.

"Then tell me this," I start, "Do you dislike me because of the dreams?"

Shikamaru holds eye contact with me, trying to understand what I am talking about. I know what I am say, it all comes back to Temari. The women he loved, heck, he still could love her for all I know. I'm the one who told the man from the sand to go after her. I know she rejected him shortly after that. But I know that he saw me for who I am, and not the robot. For someone who doesn't understand the social norms.

For that should be enough to cause dislike.

"Tooru…" Shikamaru begins.

The door slides open. Kakashi walks in.

And he does not look happy.

I try to sit up but I feel the pain, but that doesn't matter, orders are orders when it comes to me. I must stand at attention when the Hokage is in the room. I am an obedient dog to the village, even willing to lay down my life if that what it comes to. Any command given to me I must follow.

And I did not follow an order.

Which means punishment.

"Well, glad to see you made it back Tooru," Kakashi sounds bored.

I do not speak, only look at him. If I feel the Hokage is mad I cannot speak unless I am asked a direct question. I have to hold eye contact with him as he told me what to do. Which normally makes it harder, but I learned to have a blank expression when talking to the Hokage. Nothing I can do about it though, even if I tried.

Kakashi sighs, "You broke the rules, and by the rules I have to punish you. I've thought about it and you will be placed in the small cell for a full day. Next time the rules are broken though it will increase to two days."

I look at him.

Not the small cell, even I cannot fit in there. Last time I was in there for half a day and I was in this weird position and I could barely breathe. A full day in there? That little cell will hold me for a full day, this is an extreme punishment, but I did mess up badly this time. I know that he has thought about this since he figured I was taken. I have no idea how I will be coming out of the small cell, but I know that small cell will force me to close up.

Solidary conferment, no way of knowing the time. And I would have to reflect on my actions. Last time I was not allowed to sleep, maybe I could sleep for a few hours. But knowing the harshness that lord third placed on punishment I am not hopeful about it. The punishment will start soon, almost too soon.

"Let's go Tooru, it is time," Kakashi says.

I struggle to get out of bed but I manage. I sneak a glance at Shikamaru as I get up, I see the look of anger and frustration on his face. I can't blame him, I never told him about the punishments that I face when I mess up.

"Wait, Kakashi," Shikamaru's voice is near, "She can't go anywhere, she still needs to rest and heal up."

Kakashi turns to Shikamaru, "She has to have this done now, I would have done it sooner but she was sleeping. This is something you have not learned about and maybe later you will learn about it Shikamaru. Even the Leaf has dark secrets."

Kakashi turns and walks. I can't even see the expression on Shikamaru's face, but I know that he is worried.


	32. Chapter 32: Punishment Thoughts

**A/N: Hello! So I am very close to updating the actual story line. I think I am two chapter away after this one from writing the new chapters out. Please stay tune!**

 **Chapter 32: Punishment Thoughts**

So cramped, so cold.

There isn't even enough room to shiver. I cannot stretch out and I feel my emotions shutting down again.

I stare at the wall, I cannot sleep and I am allowed no food. Only water when Kakashi has time to spare. Which, with his work load, won't be too often. And I thought half a day was bad. A full day so far is worse.

I am the worst. I should have never been caught. I should have been able to stay hidden. I don't even know how I go caught. Yet I did.

Maybe my dreams were telling me something. I don't belong among those who have emotions. I can't let emotions cloud my judgement like all the other shinobi before me. Lord sixth doesn't have much choice in the matter, lord third started it all. Emotions should never be mixed with fighting. I am a pawn. I am the dog, I obey commands and I have to make sure everything goes off perfect.

But this is for the better of the village. I have no way of ever having a family. This is something that no one can ever start. I can never be with someone, the emotions would overwhelm me and no one wants to deal with that. That was showing in the dream. Once I started feeling things and seeing how I was working that way, I folded under the pressure. I panicked. I can't be with anyone.

This cell is to remind me of that. I have no way, or hope for that matter, of ever making a family. All because Lord Third wanted to keep me a secret. All because I wasn't aloud to have friends. All because I was never going to meet anyone else.

"Tooru, come with me please," the old man said after the park one day, the day Choji shoved a chip in my mouth.

I nod and follow closely behind him. I am a child still but in the ANBU, I have the skills but my balance is still a little off, but it gets better each day. I keep messing up on missions. I know that Lord Third is disappointed in me. I know that. I just wish that Lord Third would help me.

"Listen Tooru, were you scared back there?" Lord third asks me.

"A… a little. Why lord third?" I stutter.

He gets a look in his eyes, something that I had never seen before. I tilt my head and wait for him to reply to me. What is the question. Lord Third wants to help me? That makes me excited.

"I might," lord third begins, "Have a way for you to never be scared again. I just need to know that you trust me Tooru."

"You know I trust you lord third, you have helped me so much I don't know what I would do without you," I reply.

That's when he finally looked at me. A look that should have sent me running. A look that looking back told me everything I needed to know about what he was planning to do with me. The day he made any trace of my life vanish from anyone who was not a genin yet. The adults knew but they were never allowed to tell the children about me. I started to live with strict rules and a harsh training program that no one else had ever seen, and that no one even knew about. I was forever to be alone.

I am a shinobi.

I am the shadows.

I am nobody in the village.

Shikamaru, he can never understand how I feel. Naruto can't understand. Neji can't. Not a single one of them could understand the position that I am put in. Not a soul can recount the horrors that I have had to deal with in the years I have been working behind the scenes. Nothing in the village would get done as fast if I wasn't able to work the way I do.

And if I messed up, something would happen to me. A punishment, they were never the same. I have scars on my back from whips. I had to train with bruises forming all over my body, all because I let Naruto or a child see me. I could never bring up the punishments. Soon though the physical punishments were not enough, for they had numbed my body to pain. So mental punishments began.

That pain is something I can never forget. The first time I was in the cell was before the chunin exams a few years ago. I let them see me talking to their teachers, I was put in this cell. And now it is smaller since I grew a little in almost seven years I have been out of this cell. The water dripping on my forehead, it drove me insane for a while. I can never forget that I am a shadow.

The pain is all for the good of the village, lord sixth is too relaxed with me. Lady fifth held on to the punishment. Lord third is when I had the most punishment. Almost every month I would mess up, even now, looking back I have messed up so much that the punishments should have stayed in a steady way. I have no way to learn my place, I am the dog of the village. I must obey, I must always hold my own and I must stay hidden.

I am working behind the scenes and I know more than most people in the village combined. This position has no love to give or receive. I am the secret to the village, nothing more and nothing less. Love is something I have nothing of. I was foolish to think that I could love him, I know I can never be the person he needs and I am too far away from him to ever have anything.

I am only a tool to the village.

Shikamaru will leave after the group is gone.

Never will I ever deal with that group again.

I am a ninja of high standing. I don't have time to be bugged by these simple matters of relationships. I don't care if any of them like me, I am the person who help the village remain strong and steady. Lord third make a decision and I know he had made the right one. Danzo was taken care of and things in the village are going back to normal. The war was taken care of, now this group needs to be handled as well.

I need to stop thinking of trivial thinks. My mind should only focus on things that will help the village. I am the one to protect the village and take care of all the hard things. I plan and prepare for the next big threat in the village.

I take a breath.

The group, there is still something that I am missing. 14 members, all still registered in their villages. We have one now in the village. Which means we have information on the group. Something that we have not had in a long time with the group.

Starting a new village is something that I would expect from any group that is as powerful as this one. But something still isn't sitting right with me.

How did they know I was going to be in the clearing?

What made them do a sweep before?

Could it have been Tenzo tripped something by being in the clearing and I never saw it coming?

That could have happened. I mean, the thought of someone new in the clearing could have tripped something. Which could have been the reason for them to look over the area, and finding me when I am sleeping. That makes sense and very few assumptions have to be made in the situation. I close my eyes, and think about the group some more.

The leader, there is something familiar about them, but I cannot place my mind on it. I have meet so many ninja that keeping them all straight in my mind is a little hard at times unless I have had more than two interactions with them in a few month period. I cannot shake the feeling that the leader is from the village, but where he stands does not match up with the diagram that I drew for Shikamaru.

He is standing in the direction of Waves. Although, he does have the mind of someone from the land of waves, I don't think that is where he is from. I can tell the others are from the village the stand at, but the leader is too hard to read. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the leader and not the followers and their reactions to what the leader was telling them. I click my tongue, such an annoyance that I have, in a small cell and thinking about this group.

The leader's chakra, focus on that. It is similar to an ANBU members, so controlled and is able to suppress it with ease that it becomes a weapon itself. A ninja like that is hard to deal with, even for someone like me. If everyone in that group can do that than I can see why Shikamaru believes there is someone in the ANBU working for this group.

I can agree with him there. There is no way someone lower would be able to pull anything like this off. I snort. I know that I need to take a closer look at the actions, what has the leader done?

Bark orders so far. There is a strong plan that is happening right now, what is it? I just need to think about it. The actions should tell me. They gather information on each village, and they copy it. I know that no record has ever been moved but they seem to know a little too many secrets about each village. Since they know about me, which is something no one else knows, so the person getting information on the leaf was at least a genin 12 years ago.

A genin that knew about me, even if it was a small amount of time. They know. If the same thing had happened in each village than all the special members should be around my age. What do they want with us? Chakra?

But the chakra is still bugging me.

Why is it so familiar? I pull out my own, but I have so many mixed in. I need to figure this out. I have each clans chakra, it is not Uchiha. Not Nara's who's chakra. None of the outside villages match a clan that I feel. I even strip it all the way down to the core. That's when it clicks, my clans, Kato. An experiment? Could be. My family was killed when I was two, but that's what I think and from what Saskue has told me that is the truth. He never knew anyone else with my charka. But I do have many mixed in. The rat is hiding in plain sight, under everyone.

Now I just need to figure out who the rat is.


	33. Chapter 33: A Hard Tme

**Chapter 33: A Hard Time**

I am walking back to mine and Tenzo's house from the market.

It has been a few days since I was placed in the small cell. I don't feel any less robotic, if anything I have remembered why I was so robotic in the first place. I am back to getting maybe two hours of sleeping a night. I can feel my mind slipping back into the one where I know my surroundings I just don't care about it unless I am told to pay attention to it or something feels off. I don't need to waste my time on trivial matters. There is no point to things that don't matter.

I feel no point to sighing like I did in the dream. It was pointless. Everything from the dream was pointless. None of it was real. Everyone avoids me, or I ignore them. I don't want to try, I want to focus. The dream died when I was put in that small cell.

I know that part of me is something I can never have, no matter who comes. Sure I had feelings for Shikamaru, but now those feelings are gone. I have no reason to feel anything toward him.

I am only a pawn in the village. I have no family and no one wants to be my family. Naruto is someone who could have been, but I cannot allow myself to be sucked into another empty promise. Promises are something that are meaningless to me now, no one will ever stay and eventually Naruto will have to do these things, punishments and giving me missions.

This is a cycle that cannot be broken by any one. No point in trying. We need to keep going with the system that is in place, nothing will work better.

Everything but the group is pointless. The rat is still roaming around the village and I need to find them. They know who I am by now so they should be avoiding me like crazy, or coming up to me in a manner that should make me feel ill. Either way, I am a target to them and I am the best bait to get them to show their face inside of the village. Maybe I should plant something is Lord Sixth office just so they can find me.

That would be less work for me. Plus I stay on guard around the clock, should be an easy plan to follow.

I pause, I need to think it over with Shikamaru though. Though, there is no fault in the plan that I can see. Besides from what I know about him he should want the easiest way to take out this group. No need to get crazy about it if all we need is some fake papers on a desk to have to sources of information.

Which reminds me I need to have a nice long talk with Mako. I am sure he could teach me a trick or two about this group that is hiding so well from us. I need to know the information that he is hiding. I think I know how to get it out of him.

Finally I open my eyes.

I am almost home.

Good, I can sit and plan this before I talk to Shikamaru about this. I need to fully talk to him about what I think they could be planning. It's not like I have anything else to do. Might as well make the best of my time before I have to take a rest.

I actually really hate rest though, looking back I think he made a bad move giving me rest. I never feel rested. Resting is the worst thing for me, I need to be working. I don't need to be relaxing, that takes away from me being productive. Resting is pointless.

Work is more important.

I walk up to the house I can feel a few people are inside. I sigh, this might be pointless but I do need to put away the food. Besides, I live here, so they should get out so I can get some work done.

I don't understand people. Wanting to talk about small things, not the big picture.

I open the door and see Tenzo standing in the entrance. From my dreams I am going to assume he is mad. But what good is it for me to assume anything? I could get into some major trouble that way.

"Tooru, glad you're home," Tenzo says, he has a stern look on his face.

I keep my face neutral, "Glad to be back."

"Care to explain why Shikamaru and Kiba are here?" Tenzo asks.

"I have no clue," I say taking off my shoes, "They came here without me knowing. Do you have someone here?"

I stand up and face Tenzo, man he is upset by this. I wonder what has him all mad. But, I realize:

I don't really care.

So long as this conversation is over with soon so I can get to work. I could care less why Shikamaru and Kiba are, let alone why it is making the person I live with so mad; it is trivial. Nothing is important to me.

I don't care why he is mad. I care that it is cutting into my work time.

"Yes I do, Anko and I are planning something," Tenzo finally says.

"Why are you planning something with Anko?" I grill.

I don't have time for this. I should be cleaning and making sure everything is okay. It is out in the open that I can no long spy on the group and I have to meet with the Mako guy and question him or pull information out of him by force.

Besides, what is so important with Anko? Are they going on a mission soon? Maybe they should plan elsewhere and not at home. I only work here because I was told to do all my work at home, plus I never got an office like Shikamaru. So I have no other way to work on the group. Beside, home has always felt more like a work space than a place I can relax.

"Because…" Tenzo's face begins to go red.

"I see," I say pushing past him and heading into the kitchen.

I couldn't care less on who he gets involved with. It will be the destruction of him out on the field. I know that for a fact. I need none of that in my life, so I should just do my own work. It's not like I care that much about Tenzo anyway. He is someone that lady fifth made me live with, so I had to do what she said. Doesn't mean that I care.

In fact I dislike that Lady fifth made me live with someone. I don't need to be watched and I have ordered times to eat. I eat three times a day. I am about an hour from eating, so I need to cook, eat then talk to Mako.

I find Shikamaru and Kiba in there talking. They stop when they see that I have entered the room. I know my face is neutral and I don't dare say a word until I am spoken too. It is something once told to me. Never a command but it works for me not to get in trouble with anyone.

"Tooru!" Kiba shouts.

"You don't have to shout," I say, putting the food on the counter to put away.

I hate when people shout. I find it annoying. And Kiba is already getting on my nerves, the very little that I have. I don't know why they are here. I want them to leave though. I need to update Shikamaru on the plan and move on.

"Gez... glad to see you too," Kiba snorts.

"What do you want?" I ask.

Today is not the day to be coming over. I am now really far behind in my work not to mention that I can no longer go and spy on the group, which means I won't be getting any good information. I need to focus on getting information then planning a few counter moves and some measures in case anything should go wrong. Shikamaru should know this yet he still comes here and acts like he can still be my friend? We are only working together, I have no need to make friends.

"We wanted to talk to you," Shikamaru cuts in.

"I'm busy today, wait for a little while," I retort, giving a slight hint that I do not want to play any games today.

"Well too bad," Shikamaru finally states.

I stop and turn toward him, a look of anger plays across my face for a moment. I have no need for this simple matter. I need them to leave. I cannot talk to Shikamaru with Kiba here.

"Speak before you get kicked out," I speak in a monotone way.

I watch as Kiba and Shikamaru look back and forth at each other. I watch as Kiba stands up. Clearly this isn't going to be done with one word. This sucks, a lot. Taking up my time when I should be focused on the group.

"We wanted to talk about the first time the three of us meet," Kiba finally says.

"I find this a waste of time," I reply.

I turn away and begin to make something to eat.

"Tooru, you need to listen to us…" Shikamaru begins.

"Why should I? This has nothing to do with the group and this is pointless to me. I see no benefit from talking to you guys right now. The first time you guys meet me is nothing more than a memory. Something that I don't have time to remember with this group," I comment.

This causes Shikamaru and Kiba to both freeze. I see that they are taken aback by my words. I turn my head and I look Shikamaru dead in the eyes, I have no time for this I need to be doing other things, not sitting around talking to Kiba and Shikamaru about the first time that they meet me. Which should have never happened.

"Look, the Tooru in your dreams is not me. This is who I am, now if you are done I need to go and do a few things before I begin some plans. The Tooru you thought that you knew is not here and I am before you now, trying to do other things that you cannot even begin to understand," I say.

"Tooru…" Shikamaru starts, "Fine, I will be back in half an hour to talk plans with you regarding the group. Come on Kiba, let's go."

I turn around to clean the kitchen really quick. I hear the footsteps walking away and I feel relieved that they are leaving. Now that this crap is dealt with I can refocus and get back to the group. I know for a fact that this thing they are planning is going to throw the whole shinobi world off balance and it is a mess that I so not want to try to clean up. So I have to think of a way to get them to tell me what they are planning. Right now I only know of Mako, and seems like the best plan of action is to go visit him to see what I can find out. But that still leaves mine and Shikamaru's planning session.

Crap, I should tell Shikamaru to meet me at the holding cell for Mako. I turn to the living room where the entrance is at. I feel that Kiba is worked up. I also take a note that Tenzo is gone. Out with Anko to plan things I guess. I pause when I hear them talking.

"Come on Shikamaru! Are you just going to give into her being like that so easily?" Kiba asks.

"No," Shikamaru says, "But right now isn't the time."

"You know she is the reason you were so happy right?" Kiba claims.

Why are they talking about this? I thought that it was only in the dream that they found out about the reason why I was punished. I shake my head, this has nothing to do with that. I need to tell Shikamaru about the idea to get information out of Mako. This could help the village forever not to mention the whole shinobi world.

"Shikamaru, you know where they are holding Mako?" I ask, he nods his head, "Meet me there, I want to ask him a few questions."

"Understood," Shikamaru says.

Him and Kiba get up and walk out the door. I turn around and continue cleaning. I need to make a list of questions I would like to ask him.

 **Shikamaru:**

"Come on Shikamaru! You save her and this is how she thanks you?" Kiba yells in my ear.

"Kiba, she needs time to go back to how she was before," I state.

"But she is the reason why you started getting over Temari in the first place!" Kiba is being annoying today.

"Yes, but she could also be the reason why you are mad all the time, you calmed down in the dream a lot," I retort.

Kiba stops. I know I said something right. Kiba knows what I know, but I know more about her. Kiba also knows that the guy Temari is with because Tooru talked with him. Besides, when I visited her in the Sand there was a guy that always seemed to want to talk to Temari. Sure Temari and the others were here, finishing planning for the Chunin Exams. I know that we would have to keep it at a professional level between use since Kakashi and Gaara wanted the two of us to plan, like we did every six months for the exams. But things bugged me from the nights.

That dream, I remember it really well. Training and Tooru taking each of them on one on one. This is after I kissed her outside of her house. I wonder if she remembers that. I thought I was being smooth, and I couldn't stop thinking about kissing her since inside everyone already saw us as a couple. Besides, she had melted a lot by that point. And the urge was too much, I never felt so inclined to kiss anyone before. I shake my head, not the point.

But she had to go off. Someone was watching us, and none of us even knew that we were being watched except for her. Which is something different. After she left to look for the spy Temari had said something about the bathhouse. And I thought I had heard her wrong. I asked again for her to explain it. I had to ask myself again and again, would Tooru actually do that?

Which made me upset. The next day I asked Temari about it.

 **XX**

I walk up to the office that use to be my fathers. Lady Tsunade gave it to me shortly after the war since I became the head of the family. And she trusted my judgement as she did with my father. It was a drag though, all the paper work I had to deal with. But that morning I woke up from a dream about Tooru, and the fact that she had talked to Temari about it. I have to know if it is true.

I opened the office and waited for her to come. Working on papers and looking at the defense system placed in the village, so far I could not find any faults. Sure we are at peace but that doesn't mean that there isn't any grudges among the villages still.

After a few hour my door opened.

"Hey there pineapple head," Temari greets.

"Troublesome women," I reply.

We look at each other and smile. A greeting that has been going on too long to stop. I lean forward and look at her. But, no words will form. We should just talk about the exams but I need to talk to her about this first. The other guy though, she clearly wanted and I should not stop her. I know she loves him, I can see it in her eyes. But I know that anything that was said in the dream reflects reality.

"Something you want to talk about Nara?" She asks.

"Yes, something has been bothering me since this morning," I finally say after a moment.

I watch Temari shift in her seat. Maybe she already knows what I want to say, she is one of the few people who can read me like a book. That or she is also having the dreams. But the chances of that seem unlikely. No one else would have been imprinted on like I was with Tooru.

I take in a breath, "Why did you reject me?"

Temari looks down at her hands, "Why do you ask?"

I raise an eyebrow, "I think I can handle whatever you have to tell me. Besides, it's better to hear it than read it, it might clear the air."

There is a moment. Maybe I should not have brought it up. But I have to know if what Tooru did is true. She is alone and I want to try to help her in any way that I can. But this information hurt so much in my dream and hearing it a second time isn't going to be easy. But it was resolved for some reason, which it shouldn't have been. I was really mad at Tooru for it. But the anger melted away in a few hours, which does not sound like me at all. I know I am a laid back person, but the feeling I had should have lasted way longer. Sure I did talk to Temari about it but that doesn't mean anything. I need to double check my facts.

I know why, but I also want to see if the dreams are true. If so, than Tooru talked to the man, something that could have ended badly.

Temari finally sighs, "Fine, but I don't think you will like it Shikamaru. A few months ago the girls wanted to have a day will I was here, so I went. You knew that because we were still in a weird limbo at the time. I made it to the bathhouse and the lady at the desk said that I would have to wait for a bath to open since we wanted a privet bath for the five of us. So she told me one would open up soon and I may have rushed in there. I got in there and I see a girl in there, red hair and her eyes were closed. I got in and since it was on my mind I talk to her. Listen, Shikamaru," Temari pauses, looking up from her hands, "I had been thinking about it for a long time, and I didn't want to hurt you. But I just didn't feel the same way as you did. I wanted the other man more. So I rejected your feelings I guess I was too scared to do it because I didn't want to hurt you. I mean, with your father and everything I didn't want to hurt you anymore than the world already had. So she told me to follow my heart, but she seemed to be saying the words automatically."

I look at Temari, so it is true. But, now that only leads to more questions. This is such a drag. But I know that it wasn't a lie.

"How long had you been thinking about it?" I question.

"A month I think, you gave me as much time as I needed to think about it," Temari replies right away.

"Quick answer," I state.

Temari smirks, "You are still too easy to read crybaby. I knew you would ask me a dumb question like that."

"Beside the point," I grumble, "Tooru gave you the push that you needed to go for this man and reject me. So why a letter?"

"Because it was easier. I didn't want to leave my friends here behind and I guess but I know I can always come and hang out," Temari shrugs.

I glare at her, "You know that you guys are always welcomed here. Once Kakashi took over that should have been clear as day."

"I know," Temari starts, "But it was still a fear."

I look at her, there is a blush across her face, "Are you happy?"

Temari looks at me surprised by my questions. After a moment she nods. I can feel my heart hurt but I know that this is for the better for the two of us. I know I still love her, but just maybe talking to her like this helped a lot. I need to wait for Tooru to come back and ask her about it.

I need to just talk to Tooru about my feelings. I don't know what is true and what isn't. But I know that I started to feel something before she left. I want to see where it goes.

"Then, that's all that matters here," I pause, "Now for the exams…"

 **XX**

Only, Tooru didn't come back when she was suppose to. So we had to rescue her. I look at Kiba, I can tell he is mad. I shrug, no point in thinking about the past now.

"Why do you defend her so much Shikamaru?" Kiba ask, Akamaru barks next to him.

I pause, "Because, I am trying to understand her. You guys don't have the privilege of knowing the information that I do about her. And my guess is being mad at her will not help anything right now. Besides, I defend you guys when I talk to her too."

Kiba snorts but keeps walking. I know he is mad. I would be too if I found out that the person we were talking to was withholding information about herself. Especially if she was able to tell me. And that Kakashi was able to start to tell us. But there are still rules that need to be followed.

And everything with Temari is history.

Speak of the devil. Temari turns the corner holding hands with the guy from the sand. I look at her and see how happy she is. I can't help but smile a little. I always wanted that look from her, but never got it. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. But over the past month or so I have come to terms with that.

Besides I heard Kiba got his ass kicked the other day by Temari in training. Not only that but her boyfriend also beat him. In the dream I think Tooru was talking with him about how to be stronger.

Temari spots us, "Kiba, and Pineapple head in one place someone pinch me. I must be dreaming."

Kiba looks away. I glance over at him, I know he is still butt hurt about her. But I shouldn't bring it up. So I won't.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Well, I do still have to help you, and Akio wanted to come a visit. So Kakashi is letting me show him around," Temari explains.

"Oh, you're Shikamaru. Temari has told me a lot about you. I am actually really sorry about everything that has happened," Akio turns to Kiba who is glaring at him.

Akio and Temari turn to me, I shrug, "No point, he still is hurt."

"Well crybaby, what do you have to finish?" Temari finally asks.

I pounder this for a moment, "Just the scoring and tweaking a few things that could cause any problems for the genin taking the test. Not to mention getting the approval from Gaara and Kakashi."

"Should we work on that now?" Temari chimes in.

I know that I should but I need to meet Tooru soon. And from meeting her earlier, she is back to when I first meet her. I need to be on time and ready to go. Nothing can change that fact for people.

Plus I think Kia wants a rematch. So We don't have time for both.

"No, I have to go and figure a few things out with Tooru," I say.

Temari stands up straight when I mention Tooru. I chuckle a little about it. Clearly people are blinded by not trusting her still. I don't blame them, she did basically come out of nowhere and began to talk to us. So the fact that Temari doesn't want to deal with her is fine by me.

"You still talk to her? Even after everything that has happened?" She asks.

I nod, "Well, I am helping her with a mission she has been working on for a long time. So, I have to go and help her or she will get her version of mad at me. Maybe tomorrow though,"

I can feel all of their eyes on me. Clearly confused by how I can still go and see Tooru. I look around, trying to figure out a way to explain it to them without sounding crazy. I don't even know if Temari and Kiba had dreams about Tooru.

As far as I know only a handful of us did have dreams about Tooru. And my reasoning is based off the girl I liked in my dream, and the one I began to like before she left for her mission. Besides it's been a few days since I found out and I have had a chance to look at it. Maybe I should go and ask Kakashi about it, which might clear a few things up about Tooru; since I can know everything about her. Should be easy enough, but I have to wait until after I met with her to get information out of Mako.

I sigh, man this is such a drag. I can't think of a way to explain this whole mess to them. But, I think I know Tooru well enough that she should be given a chance of becoming our friend, I am sure at least Naruto would agree with me on this point. But then again, I never know what that knucklehead is thinking, only a few times have I been able to get it right. So I guess till than I am on my own.

"Well Shikamaru?" Temari asks, bringing me out of my thoughts.

I look at her, "It's too hard to explain, besides I might need a few hours just to explain it to Kiba," I pause thinking, "But if you guys would understand one word would do it: Dreams."

There is a pause with Kiba and Temari. I watch as they look at each other and back at me. I guess they also has them. Great.

Did everyone in the village have dreams about her? I snicker, I don't know why I am getting mad about it. Maybe I thought that I was special? No, but Tooru and I did spend the most time together, so it would make sense, but everyone else is a mystery to me.

"I don't remember much," Kiba chimes in.

Temari takes in a deep breath, "I remember you finding out, but everything else is a blur."

I nod. I check the time. I have about five minutes to get to the holding cell for Mako. Great, I don't feel like making her any madder. I begin to turn, no more time to sit around and explain things to them.

"I should get going," I say.

I watch as Temari and Kiba are still looking at each other. I glance between the two of them before turning to Akio.

"Good to meet you," I say before walking away "Oh I think Kiba wants a rematch!"

I think I hear a response but I would rather not talk to the guy that Temari is in love with. Sure, I like someone else; but Temari was my first love and watching her with someone else is really hard to do. I want to yell and both Akio, asking him just how much he loves her. But I know that would be unfair. Besides, it would be too troublesome for me to do.

Yet, that doesn't mean that I didn't cry over Temari leaving me. In fact, I want to talk to Temari about it. But I know that I would not be able to talk at all. I would be too upset. Sure it has been a few months but everyone heals at different times. I just know that I want to still talk to Temari, but right now I have to keep it to a minimum. Talking to her would only hurt and seeing her with Akio in the village is hard, just knowing the person I love is with someone else…

I take in a breath.


	34. Chapter 34: Breaking Point

**Chapter 34: Breaking Point**

No point in moping over it now. All I can do is try my best to move on. But I just had to pick the most troublesome women in the whole village, and one that doesn't feel at that. I shake my head.

Maybe I should give up on Tooru, I mean she does not seem to want to be anything more than one mission friends with me. But… before she left, I watched as she began to melt that hard shell she has. Her feeling things was almost magical to watch. And the dreams… maybe that could be what she wants the most. To be accepted and actually have friends around her. But, I couldn't know that, and she hates people assuming. She rarely ever tries to assume in places.

So, did she assume I did not want to be her friend after this?

 **Tooru:**

He is late. I do not like people who are late. I look at the clock, he is one minute late, pushing two minutes. My face is neutral, but I know that I am mad. I even told the smart one what time and where. I can feel the emotion annoyed coming. It's not like I will ever act on it though. One thing about being me is that I have to not care about things. Emotions come in huge waves when something happens. So I bottle them up and forget to feel. But there are times when I can no longer hide behind the wall, and maybe today will be the day I burst. Although, I don't think that will happen.

I look around again, I spot something in the distance. I lean against the wall, something that I see people do all the time. I don't understand what it does, but it is kind of nice to do.

"Yo, sorry," Shikamaru says, walking up to me.

I push away from the wall, "I do not like people who are late. If this was outside of the village I could have died in the few minutes."

I watch as Shikamaru keeps an even look on his face. I feel like I want to narrow my eyes at him but I cannot bring myself too, it is trivial to do something like that. He should know that being late is the worst thing in the shinobi world. I only deal with it from lord sixth because I have to. Yet, Shikamaru grew up in a way that would not allow him to be late.

He puts a hand behind his head, "Wow, you really know how to make a guy feel bad for showing up late."

"You know you can't be late, someone as smart as you should know that," I reply.

Shikamaru puts his arm down and his face becomes serious, at least that's my guess. I hate trying to read people. I can't even tell what is going on with my own face. I turn around and walk inside, I don't want to speak to him about being late. I should be talking to Mako about his adventures with this group that I have been looking after. Hopefully, he can shed some light on the matter for me. More than anything, give me insight on their plans they have. I hear footsteps running to catch up to me.

"Wait up," I hear Shikamaru say, "You should tell me what we are even going to ask the guy."

"Isn't it clear?" I ask.

I look next to me and look up to Shikamaru. I see him working through the options. He should already know that Mako is connected to the group, therefore, we can use him to figure out the other people and more of what they want to do with these ninja. Even if I have to pull all the information out of him. And that would be a pain, but oddly fun. I shake my head, nothing can be fun for me in this world. I learned that through the dreams I had, having fun will lead to the destruction of the village.

"Information?" Shikamaru finally says.

"Yes," I pause, "Look, we need information and I can no longer spy. So this is the best plan of action."

"We don't know anything about this guy though. For all we know he is the newest member of the group and knows next to nothing. Therefore, he would be useless to us right now, maybe if he could possibly know more it would be fine. But we don't know how long he has been a member," Shikamaru counter.

I ponder this. True, but what other options do we have? The way I see it this is a great step for us. A ninja should always clue in anyone else that they are working with what the plan may be. If there is no time than brief them on the important points of the plan. We now have a primary source of information!

Shouldn't that be enough? For me it is a good starting point and we can learn about some of their codes that they used. That could lead us to more options than before. Having Mako will do more good than harm right now.

"Still, this is better than nothing. When you guys were fighting the Akatsuki you learned of each person as you went, yet they all knew who they were working with. So by reason this guy should know everyone he is working with. Even by code name if they do that. Besides, Mako is in the bingo book. I looked at faces, I just want to confirm it. So that should lead us to others in the bingo book as well," I explain.

"Fair, but we never asked them who they were working for though," Shikamaru interjects.

"And who's fault is that?" I counter, "Besides, if you guys hadn't killed all of them we could have gotten information out of them. So you getting rid of each member did some harm and not all good that you guys thought you did."

There is a pause, "Aren't you too smart for your own good?"

I look back at Shikamaru. I wouldn't think so. No one has ever called me smart or indicated that I am intelligent in anyway. Besides, how could I stand a chance against Shikamaru, the village's genius who can outsmart lord sixth any day? We reach the entrance.

I look at the guard.

"Tooru, I have special clearance from lord sixth," I flash my ANBU card.

"Any letter from him regarding why you are here Tooru?" The guard asks.

"To speak to our guest we have here today. If you call him I am sure he will give you the go ahead," I say.

The ninja narrows his eyes at me, glancing between Shikamaru and myself. I know that he is debating about if he should tell lord sixth or not. Either way, we don't have time for this. I need to be talking to Mako. I watch as the guard excuses himself to make a phone call.

"So what are you planning on asking him?" Shikamaru asks.

"Standard question. Name, rank and village. Then why he joined this group. What is the full name of this group? Stuff like that," I mindlessly reply.

"That is such a definite answer Tooru," Shikamaru says.

There is something different about the tone of voice that he has. I cannot tell what it is though, maybe it is an annoyance, or even anger at me. Either way I don't care. All I know that he has a different tone with me. I glance over and see him smirking about something.

I can't tell what though, this is a serious situation that we are in right now. Unlike I should care. This group is starting to cause trouble that no one needs at this point. I have to be better about this than I was before. Working with someone is either a good thing or a bad this. So far I cannot tell which it is though. Shikamaru is smart and good at looking at plans, seeing patterns and figuring out possible motives. But he is emotional and when something upsets him it impairs his judgements.

"Alright," the guard comes back in, "Everything is in order Tooru, Kakashi gave his go ahead for you to see Mako."

I give a slight nod as I wait for the doors to open. Even I am unable to sense or track where we are going at this point. But this also prevents anyone else from finding people. I would expect nothing less from an ANBU prison. We take a few turns and end up in an interrogation room. The guard who brought us down bows and leaves the room.

Now we wait for probably my favorite person in the whole world to show up.

"Tooru," Shikamaru begins. I turn to face him, "What are you planning."

I feel my lips tug upward, "To get some pay back."

I see Shikamaru's face change, my best guess would be shock, maybe. I can't help but snicker a little at his reaction. I can feel myself feeling something, only I cannot tell what it is. I don't care though, we need to talk to Mako. That is the whole reason why we are here, besides, lord sixth thought it would be a good idea for Shikamaru to hear the information first hand so he can also analysis it.

"What happened in that cave Tooru?" Shikamaru finally asks.

I look away, "Nothing that hasn't happened before Shikamaru."

There is a silence. A very long silence. Before I was captured I would have thought nothing about what Mako was trying to do in the cave, it had happened too many times before since I am small and when they were assassinations; so people took advantage of a small child who did not know any better. I stopped caring about it so much, but this time was different. I shake my head, all of this is trivial that I figured out a long time ago. It is all part of being a ninja.

 _Nothing in the ninja world is ever truly yours Tooru,_ I can hear lord thirds words ringing through my head.

It took me a long time to figure out what he had meant by that. But I know my life and body are not mine, they belong to the village. No ninja has free will; free will is only an illusion that was created so people would still enroll their children in the academy. People and bonds that are made are not mine. Nothing has ever belonged to me, I know for a fact that these interactions are forced by the village. All the things happening are just a strategy for lord sixth in a big shogi game. I am a pawn, nothing more and nothing less.

I know I have been defeated by the ninja world, and giving up is not my choice. And that choice will be made by the hokage or death.

"What does that mean Tooru?" Shikamaru doesn't sound calm.

I am confused, why is Shikamaru losing his composer? He is calm and can think things through. He should be able to come to the same conclusion that I have come to right? Shikamaru is smart, he should have seen through all of this a long time ago. I tilt my head, maybe the vile is stronger than I thought.

"What do you think Shikamaru?" I retort.

"So, you have been…" Shikamaru trails off.

"Isn't that the life of a ninja though?" I start, "We have nothing that we truly have. Lord Third taught me that when I was very young and questioned why I had nothing. After that, I gave up trying to find the full meaning to my life. I only serve and protect the village. Nothing more and nothing less. No one who is younger than myself even knows who I am. People only see me around the village, even then they never truly see me. I hide in the shadows and am a mystery, even to those who know about me. My life is not mine, my choices are not mine, and even my body is not mine. So I have no need to be vocal about what happened to me on missions, people buy ninjas and that includes their minds and bodies. None of this belongs to me, all of these things belong to the village. To the land of fire. What is the point of even thinking of myself when none of it is mine, I think of the village because I belong to the village."

I look up and see Shikamaru looking at me. I know he thinks that I am crazy, and maybe I am. I know my place, I was forced to learn it at a very young age. I didn't get the blindfold on my eyes. Shikamaru needs to understand all of this. Missions are not just about killing or protecting, there is deception involved in them, and that deception even has to be pulled over the ninja playing a part.

"Don't talk about yourself that way Tooru," Shikamaru comments.

"It is how everyone is Shikamaru," I reply.

"No," I begin to open my mouth but Shikamaru continues, "I have never felt that way, even during the war. We are our own people. We have a say in what we do. We cannot be mindless about the actions that happens to us, I know for a fact that you know how to feel. Show me that you know how to feel Tooru; show me that this isn't just because you were ordered but you want to protect people."

I shake my head. I am done with all of this. I have no reason to even be in here. I can't talk about this with Shikamaru, it doesn't matter how many other conversations we have had; the bottom line is Shikamaru will forget me after this whole mission is over. I know that it is better that way. No one in the village should know about me, so there is no point in me thinking about keeping bonds, some girl will come and take Shikamaru's heart and…

Why am I getting so… so… angry?

The door opens and the first thing I see is Mako. And suddenly, I feel the urge to kill him.

He is tied up and the guard ties him down to the chair. People know how I work and they also know that I will get any answers I want from people. I am standing in front of him with Shikamaru to the left. I lean against the wall, ready and trying to not let the emotions get the best of me.

"Well look at who it is," Mako begins, "The little girl I wanted to have fun with. And frankly still do."

I lean against the wall. I should be careful with showing him how much power I really have. But, he did try awful things. Nah, I want to have some fun for once. And, the urge to kill him and torment him is really strong.

"Well Mako, today I want you to answer a few questions for me," I finally reply.

I hear him snort. I look up and make eye contact with him. I refrain from using any eye powers I have, but I would love to. I tilt my head, should I be nice first and mean later or mean first and brutal later? I want answer now, but I wouldn't want to scare Shikamaru.

I pause, why should I care if I scare him? Shikamaru is a shinobi and should be able to take it.

I feel the sharingan open. I look Mako in the eyes again.

"What, where are we…" Mako says.

The landscape is black, a light is on Mako. Nothing else. I stand in the shadows. I go here first to push boundaries. Boundaries, those he tried to push with me.

"Answer my questions," I say.

A pause, "No"

I smirk, I know that this guy is going to be fun. I can already feel myself itching to play with his mind. But one thing at a time. I want to just get to the fun already, but I know that I need to wait a little while before the fun starts.

"Lets start with a name, you must have a clan," I taunt.

Mako looks around trying to pinpoint my location. I am ready to have some fun.


	35. Chapter 35: The Smile

**Chapter 35: The Smile**

Mako closed his eyes, man this little girl thinks she is so smart. I know how to get around this. This isn't the first time I have been through this. I just need to annoy her enough and be short with her.

"Mako," I reply.

I haven't talked yet and I don't think some little girl can get me either. Ikbi could not get me to say a word, and he is supposedly the best of the best to get information out of. Like this helpless little girl could do anything. She really is in way over her red hair. I would be cautious if I were her. I really hate little girls who don't know their place.

She thinks she is so smart with this. She doesn't know.

Useless.

Helpless.

"Helpless?" Her ghostly voice echoes, "Who said I was helpless?"

"Clearly you have no idea who you are dealing with," I snap.

How dare this girl think she can get the better of me right now! I should have her head. If I remember her name was Tooru, the one Kenaki could find nothing about. And here I am, having the ability to get the information that we need. I know the leader will praise me for doing such a good job.

"And you have no idea," Her voice it too innocent. It is haunting.

It sends a shiver down my spine. We know she is powerful, but we don't know how specifically. If I had to guess she is an illusions specialist. And illusions cannot hurt you as long as you don't fall into the casters trap. Which I never do, I have more power than she does in one hand. That was proven when she tried to escape from the cave. She had to have people come in a rescue her. She hides in the shadows and plays with peoples minds, which is why no one could find her. But now I know her trick. She cannot longer have any power over me. I will dominate her.

"But wasn't I at a lower level of chakra?" A voice asks from behind me.

I turn around and find that no one is behind me. I turn forward to find a sickening smile. I stare at it, I know I should look away but I can't. It is a sweet smile at first, but it turns blue. The teeth begin to rot. The smell even comes at me, as though I have chocolate and a kid with cavities is coming at me. The tongue sticks out and it has maggots coming out. The maggots fall onto the ground, beginning to burn holes through the floor.

 _It is all an illusion,_ I think to myself. There is no way a thing like this could happen in real life. Maggots don't do that.

"Just an illusion is it?" The mouth asks.

Another sickening smile. The mouth comes closer to me. There is foam forming at the corners of the smile. It bubbles and begins to boil. It drips on the floor, killing the maggots on the floor through flames.

"Tell me, do you always try to overpower a little girl? If so that is pathetic. You have no business being a shinobi," The mouth mutters.

The smell, I feel like I will throw up. I watch as it comes to my arm and bites down on it. I want to scream but I feel like I would eat the smell if I do. I look down and there are rotting teeth left on my arm. Black at the top and holes everywhere with maggots coming out.

I move away from the mouth. I look up and it is gone. I whip my head around, looking down at my arm, the teeth are still there. They are freezing my arm, and it is burning. I need to get out of here. No, snap of it!

There is no way this girl can be powerful. She is a teenager, no one can overpower me.

I feel like gagging. The mouth is gone but the smell is swirling around me.

There is ghastly laugh.

"Now, lets try this again, what is your name, really?" The girl asks.

Should I tell her? I shake my head. Hell no! She is only playing with my emotions. I need to get a grip, I need to tell her to get away, I am scared.

Wait…

No… I am not. Little girls terrify me.

"I'm waiting," She laughs.

"Makoto Yoshida," I blurt out.

I freeze, what did I just do? I just gave her important information. I can be traced back to my village. No, she cannot know any of these. After days with Ikbi I gave away my name the first five minutes I am talking to this pathetic little girl. Why is she scaring me so much? The illusion I am under! I need to break it.

I open my mouth but nothing comes out.

"Makoto Yoshida…" She pauses, "If I remember correctly you are suppose to be one of the luckiest fighters in the whole world. Your name is ironic though, truthful. You are lucky, lucky to have never been caught. Lucky Mako; ah that is your name in the bingo book. I personally think you have finally run out of luck here though. You come from the village hidden in the clouds"

She sounds so, bland. Almost like she doesn't care.

I need to get out of here. I look around, I cannot see past the vile of light she had granted in this world. I don't know where she is. Her voice seems to be coming from everywhere at once. I cover my ears. I close my eyes.

 **Shikamaru:**

I watch, slightly scared of Tooru.

She and Mako have been holding eye contact for three solid minutes now. I look between the two of them. I wonder what she is showing him. Her eyes are not purple anymore but a red that I have really only seen on Saskue. I know she could be showing him a great illusion, one I would never want to encounter in any life time.

I hear a scream and look over to Mako, he is no longer looking at Tooru. But he looks like he has seen the worst things ever. I watch as Tooru smiles that smile again. I want to even go into a corner and hide. But I know that I cannot. She is getting information, and I am making sure she doesn't kill Mako in the process. Only, I don't know how much of a fight I can put up against her. I am not sure who could even go toe to toe with her in a fight. She is smart and has a large chakra pool. Maybe Naruto and Saskue could, but even then, she is cleaver.

"What the hell…" Mako breathes out.

Tooru begin to take a few steps toward him. She tilts her head. Maybe thinking of what to do next. Her short hair falls to the left side. Covering her eyes, so I can't tell what she is thinking. Luckily I cannot see her expression because Mako is trying to bounce away in his chair. I can tell he is scared of her, and scared maybe isn't even the right word. There is a large change in Tooru, she seems mad about something. Only I have no idea what it is.

"What are you?" Mako whispers.

"Something you wish you never crossed," Tooru replies.

I tense up. This is not the Tooru I have gotten to know in the past few months. I want to run, my body is telling me to get the hell out of the room and watch from a safe distance. Only I know that I promised to stay in here. She needs to be snapped out of this. But, I don't want the anger turned to me.

Tooru is showing emotions, normally she is annoyed or emotionless. Right now though, I can feel a lot of negative emotions coming from her. I can't help but wonder what really goes on through her head. What does she hold in? Everything she is doing makes me question what she is planning.

She circles around Mako.

Tooru is right in front of Mako. And Mako is refusing to look at Tooru. I can understand why, from what I have been told from Kakashi and Saskue an illusion like that will mess a person up a lot.

And clearly it got to him. I was told how long it took to got just a name, but it looks like Tooru already broke him.

I never wanted to see her like this.

She is a monster like this. Is that what Lord Third wanted from Tooru? She doesn't seem to have a concept for anything, and that is what makes her so scary.

"Mako… Mako…. What game should we play next?" Tooru sings.

"No, I don't want to play…" Mako screams back at her.

Before I know it Mako is on the ground. He is coughing up blood. Tooru's sleeve is pulled up, her right fist lifted, lowering slowly. Her left now has a kunai in it. She is looking down at Mako. Her face is tilted away from me again, which is good. I need to stop her from killing Mako. But right now I need compose myself and think of a way so she won't turn on me.

I can feel my whole body is frozen though. I can't move. This power is awful.

"Mako, don't stall on a game. How I do hate people who are late," Tooru says.

I feel the daggers coming at me. Her hair moves away and I see her. Her purple eyes are angry and in a way, looks like she is having fun messing with this guy. Is this something that happens to people who don't know what love is? I have never known Tooru to get mad, but maybe me being late was the last straw to her.

Or everything that happened in the dream. She was feeling and now she is coming back to how she was before. Which means she doesn't know how to deal with emotions herself.

"Next question," Tooru couches in front of Mako, causing him to move backwards, "What lead you to working with the group?"

I watch as something snaps in Mako. He no longer looks afraid of Tooru, he just looks really mad at her.

But I don't know if he is trying to fake it or is truly not afraid of her.

"Like I would tell you," He spits right in Tooru's face.

Tooru moves her hand up and wipes the spit off of her face. Mako just dug his own grave by doing that to Tooru. And by the way she is laughing, Mako will die unless I step in and make sure Tooru doesn't go too far.

I need to step in. But this power she has, she hides it so much. She has such a small output. This is the extent of her power. And it is scary.

"I know what game we are going to play next," She smiles sweetly.

"Bring it on brat," Mako replies.

I wince, I know I am not getting beaten but I can feel Mako is about to get a lot of hurt coming at him. Tooru picks him back up. She dust him off even. Tooru walks around him. I think I hear her singing to herself. She pulls up her sleeve of her right arm again. I focus on all the burns she has, and the scars what are there.

I can't help but wonder how they all got there. They look like they have been there for a long time, longer than she would ever care to admit. I know for a fact that I will die if I ever make her mad. And I know she went through hell when she was younger, and now I know she has the scars to prove it.

I look her in the face, seeing that she might go too far. I watch as wind begins to play in the palm of her hand. I take in a breath. I need to say something. I need to stop. She won't get anything out of him. Not now.

She needs too clam down.

Soon, she aims it at Mako. Nothing seems to happen, but I take a closer look and see that his nose and ears are bleeding.

"Tooru stop," I finally say.

I look back to her and she doesn't even seem to have heard me.

"Tooru," I say again.

Mako looks over though.

 **Mako**

I forgot he was in here. What was his name? Eh I don't care. All I know is that I have a really bad headache from whatever she just did to me. It took me a minute to break fully from what she did before. But now she won't get anything out of me.

"Sounds like your boyfriend is trying to stop you," I taunt.

I watch as the brats eyes go wide. I think I may have finally hit a nerve in that little head of hers. I can turn this around for the better and survival of me. This little girl hasn't won this talk of ours yet. I will make it out of here alive and I will make sure that this Tooru girl is the first one we get rid of. I vow that will come true. If we leave her alive she will destroy us, and she could do it very quickly.

"Must really care for someone as crazy as you are," I continue, "Either that, or he must really hate you for forcing him to go out with you. I could see inside that little dream world of yours, you really stooped low to get the guy huh? No way would anyone in their right mind would go for you. He must be crazy, and as emotionally unstable as you are. I cannot imagine what your parents taught you. I mean…"

That's when I feel another fist come to my face. I hear a crack coming from my jaw.

Oh crap.

She has the look. The look that knows the person wants you dead, in a way that no matter how hard you try you can never fight your way out of it. I have truly made her truly mad. Any way that she could kill me she probably has had along with countless others. I grin, good, now she might slip up and I could get out of here, maybe killing the brats boy toy.

She doesn't know how to control her emotions. She doesn't know, a flaw for her. One flaw, and the fact she has no true ties to the village.

"Don't you dare," She whispers.

Another fist to the gut. I feel the blood and my lunch coming up. She moves out of the way, avoiding the puke. I wanted to hit her. I feel a healing hand to my jaw. I tense up.

What game is she playing? She is healing someone who is her enemy.

"Do you have a death wish Makoto? I will kill you where you sit, and I will do horrible things to your body when I get the pleasure of looking at all your secrets," She is in my ears.

I cringe. How the hell is she in both of my ears at once? This isn't an illusion though. He is still here. I glance back at him, even he looks scared of her. No way could this girl be this powerful! I can't even read her, yet I know she has the idea to poison me right here and right now.

"Now, tell me why you joined the group," She demands.

I close my eyes, there is no more pain in my jaw, but I don't think she healed me for the fun of it. She has to have fantastic chakra control to manage these many things. She puts chakra in her punches, but not enough to kill me like the pink haired girl. I know for a fact that I am in a lot of trouble if this goes on for any longer, but I should die with the secrets of the group hidden away.

Only, I know I cannot die here, the leader will be mad if I did. We have a plan and that plan involves every member to take part in.

Lying, I can lie my way out of this. And so far that is my only option.

"Oh you know, to gain power," I finally say.

She moves away from me. I follow her with my eyes. She is thinking. Just what about I have no idea. I know though that if she sees through my lie, I will get the root of all jokes coming. She will kill me and right now dying is not an option. I need to make it back to the clearing, I will be a rouge ninja but that will be fine.

"Tooru, take a breath," The guy says after a few minutes.

Tooru doesn't seem to hear him. I snicker, what kind of girl doesn't hear her boyfriend talking to her? This girl is really pissing me off. I need to get out of here. I feel how tight the ropes are, pretty tight, but I can be stronger. I can take them both on, she probably has wasted a lot of chakra already, and he doesn't seem to have a lot. I look back at her, her demeanor has gotten darker since I last looked. There is this weird smile playing across her face, one that I do not like.

"Tooru, you need to take a step back," The guy says again.

She stands frozen, looking against the wall. She heard him finally. Maybe I should rile her up again, she is bound to make a mistake then. Or I'll die, either way it would be better than talking to this girl. She needs to waste her chakra, more than she already has. These things require a lot of chakra, right now she will pay for doing all of this.

"Girl, your idiot of a boyfriend has been talking to you. Man, he truly is dumb. Why did you even bring him here? Force him like you probably with all of your friends? I know for a fact that they all hate you. Every single one of them wish you were dead, just like this guy here. You want to think you have everything don't you? These guys are all morons, clearly they are weak," I pause.

She is tensing up. I know here in a few seconds I am going to get punched, hard too. I push chakra into my muscles, ready to bust, she begins to turn.

 **Shikamaru:**

I want to face palm, Mako is an idiot. I look at Tooru, she has a smile coming across her face. One that I find very scary, and personally I know I need to stop this now. Mako really does have a death wish today.

She runs, I hear the rope breaking from the chair that Mako is sitting on. Looking over he is starting to stand up, I begin to think of a way to pin him again before he starts to hurt Tooru again.

Think, he is about two inches taller than me. Meaning he is about a foot taller than Tooru, therefore he would go after me first. I could get him in a shadow bind, get the time for someone to come in. We need to get someone to tie him back down.

I scarp my first plan that would never work. What I need to do is provide a distraction so Tooru can knock him out. After that would be a good time to calm her down, no way could I bind him and get her to relax. She has a lot of anger right now. Letting her punch him would be the best plan of action for right now. That may be the best plan, in a split second to save Tooru from Mako. I couch down and get ready to move.

But I am too slow. She gets on top of him and pins him though. I remain sitting as Tooru whispers something into Mako's ear. Tooru's left glove is above Mako now. I have no idea what she is planning to do, but I can feel like it is going to be bad. I watch as I begin to hear dripping coming from somewhere. I look everywhere to find it. It is not from above and the ANBU make sure there is nothing that could cause a leak, as a water user could use it or any good ninja could get out of here.

"Drip, drip… now to go insane," Tooru sings.

Tooru is dripping water from her fingertip. Right on Mako's forehead. I feel him go into a trance. The dripping is soothing at first, but soon that is all that is in the room. Things calm down, but then I hear a scream come from Mako.

I look over and see that the water is still dripping. I lean against the wall, I have no idea what is going through her head, but this is something I have never seen before.

Drip, drip, drip.

That is all that I hear. That and Mako whimpering. I move so I can look Tooru in the face.

Her face is so dark.

 **XX**

Drip.

I have control.

Drip.

I am a ninja.

Drip.

I will get the information out of Mako.

Drip.

I will not kill Mako.

Drip.

I watch as Mako's eyes go wide. I feel my lips tug up. I am enjoying myself way too much. But, why shouldn't I be enjoying myself? This man wanted to do something awful to me and he also got me in trouble with lord sixth. That is something I can never forgive. Even with everything that I have seen, this is upsetting me a lot. And I never want to…

I hate people who are late. Late is one of those things that I cannot stand.

Wait Shikamaru was late… he was late by two minutes at our appointed meeting time. That is hard.

But Mako is fun to play with. Mako's screams are music to my ears.

Late screams, late people, and a late life.

Maybe I should stop. But what fun would that be? I need to do this, something is overpowering me to want to harm Mako in the worst way that I can.

Another scream.

Drip.

Mako looks in pain.

Drip.

I tilt my head.

Drip.

Mako should talk.

Drip.

 **Shikamaru**

Standing there horrified by Tooru. Mako is screaming and Tooru is smiling. But it is a smile that tells me that she is not all there.

I need to think of a way to get her to calm down, but right now she is scaring me. I don't even know if there is any way to calm her down. But the question she just asked would go unanswered, and she would probably not be happy if that happened.

"I can't…" Mako mumbles.

"Oh? What can't you do Mako?" Tooru asks, her tone is too sweet.

"I joined because of power… and because it seemed like fun," Mako whimpers.

The dripping stops, "Go on," Tooru is still on top of him.

"I can't get away with things in my village, but I can in Hana Bakemono. Everything is free game, there is an order but it is so small that I forget that we have one," Mako rushes.

Tooru looks at e and grins, "Hana Bakemono, finally have a name," she turns back to Mako, "And what are the goals of Hana Bakemono?"

"I… I can't tell you…" Mako stammers.

Tooru holds up her hand and a flame ball appears, "This flame could or could not burn off your flesh, see how I have an option? Speak."

There is silence. Tooru starts to bring her fist closer to Mako's pelvis. She looks like she is having too much fun.

That's when it finally snaps about what might have happened in the cave. He tried didn't he? That is what she meant by something that has happened before. Though why is she so mad about this? Has something snapped within her?

"Okay, we want to start a village that rivals the five great nations!" Mako screams.

Tooru does not pull back from his pelvis though.

"Tooru, we have the information that we need," I say.

She doesn't seem to hear me. I run up and grab her arm, making sure to keep the flame away from me. She struggles against me and I decide that using my height against her is the best thing that I can do right now.

"Let go," She hisses.

I pull her against my chest and hold her there for a few minutes. But those few minutes don't come without punishment. She is punching and kick me as hard as she can. Which hurts a lot… she can pack a hit. Not splash hit but a very chakra focused in areas, all over my arms and legs. I know that I will have to get them looked at by Sakura.

But she calms down and I look down at her. I feel my chest becoming wet. Her shoulders are moving up and down.

"We will be back Mako and I too would like to ask you some questions," I say to him.

He nods, "Yes, whatever you say and I will answer anything that I can."

I scoop Tooru up into my arms, making sure to keep her face hidden. I give a nod to the guard as I leave with Tooru in my arms.

I walk to her house. She does not need to be in this kind of pain. I snicker at myself. Why did I let her go so far to where she snapped? There is still a lot about her that I do not understand. What happened with the punishment that Kakashi gave her? She became back to how I had first known her. I know for a fact that something like that is programmed into her brain.

I open the door and go inside. I walk her back to her room and lay her on her bed. She needs to sleep. But I know I should not leave her alone. I also know that I should go talk Kakashi to figure this out. Right now I am a burden to her and not helping her. But she may have not told me everything about her past. So Maybe Kakashi will if I ask.

I look down at Tooru, I need to tell her what happened.

I grab some paper and explain to her what happened with Mako. I don't go into great detail but I tell her enough. I turn to head out when I think of something. I grab a stick and focus. The shadows creep up my legs and arms before taking over the stick. Eventually it turns into a black rose, made of shadows. This was something I was planning on doing for Temari when she said yes but I could only manage one flower, but I think Tooru will like it. It will tell her that I am always here for her.

I get to her door and turn around to see her still asleep, I close the door and head out. I walk into the kitchen and find Yamato sitting down.

He looks up, "Oh, Shikamaru, sorry about being angry earlier."

"Don't worry about it," I reply, moving toward the door to leave.

I shove my hands in my pocket, and try to go into the shadows.

But of course that won't happen.

"Why were in Tooru's room?" Yamato asks, in a joyful tone.

I sigh, "She was freaking out and about to do something really stupid so I brought her back here, hoping he could get some sleep."

Yamato nods at this, "And where are you going now?"

"To Kakashi," I reply, "I need to ask him a few things."

There is a moment where neither one of up speak, but we understand that I have to go. I get to the door and put on my shoes. I walk out and Shield my eyes from the sun. Man, there are no clouds out today. This is a drag. But the girl I like is currently losing her mind, I know that I need to figure out a way to help her and get her into society. I don't think she was ever a part of it. I take a turn and head to Kakashi's office.


	36. Chapter 36: Understanding the Girl

**Chapter 36: Understanding the Girl**

I knock at the office door.

"Come in," I hear Kakashi say.

I open the door and see that he is standing up and looking out the window.

"Ah Shikamaru, how did things go with Mako?" Kakashi asks.

"Not good," I begin, "Tooru got this dark look in her eye and she seemed to lose control of herself. She was going to kill him if I did not do anything."

"That's what I was afraid of," Kakashi pauses, "She is unstable you can say. So putting her in punishment messes with the balance her brain has created and she is probably stressed about something else."

"Speaking of that, I want to know everything that has happened to her. I don't understand why she lashed out like that. Please," I ask.

"I don't know Shikamaru, its long. Plenty of information to be taken in and most of it still is hard for me to wrap my head around," Kakashi begins, "But here is everything."

I sit there for hours listening to him.

 **Kakashi:**

I knew once Shikamaru entered my office he would want answers. I even saw him coming up the stairs. An ANBU member came and told me what happened with Tooru.

"Come in," I say.

I hear the door open. I stay focused on the outside. I am not afraid to face him, but I know that the question will start soon.

"Ah Shikamaru, how did things go with Mako?" I question, already knowing the answer.

"Not good," Shikamaru begin, "Tooru got this dark look in her eye and she seemed to lose control of herself. She was going to kill him if I did not do anything."

"That's what I was afraid of," I pauses, "She is unstable you can say. So putting her in punishment messes with the balance her brain has created and she is probably stressed about something else."

This has to stop. Only, I have never been able to figure it out. I know that she is starting to hate the village for what Lord Third did to her. Something that we do not need to get through to her. I don't want to keep her like this.

"Speaking of that, I want to know everything that has happened to her. I don't understand why she lashed out like that. Please," Shikamaru asks.

"I don't know Shikamaru, its long. Plenty of information to be taken in and most of it still is hard for me to wrap my head around," I begin, "But here is everything."

I turn around a motion for him to sit down. I don't even know where to begin with this. When I talked to Tenzo about this, I was talking so easily. The words just formed. But this is Tooru's only comrade so far. I want more people to understand her, but these rules are preventing me from telling anyone. And I am even the Hokage!

I haven't been able to bend rules. I have started to bend them and breaking the seal a little. Only there is so much pain that Tooru is put through.

"Well, Kakashi," Shikamaru sits down.

"The problem with Tooru is that she has been through a lot, more than you can imagine," I pause, "There are many incidents I can recall with her being the center of them. Not to mention the punishments that she must go through when she messes up. The only problem is there are so many places that I can't decide where to start."

There is a silence. I sit down and place my head in my hands. I have no idea where this conversation will go.

But it is something I must tell. Maybe Shikamaru can break this. Maybe that whole group can. They all know her.

"Start at the beginning," Shikamaru finally speaks.

I sigh, "From her time with Orochimaru or when she became a shadow in the village?"

Shikamaru snickers and thinks. There are so many places, at least he didn't ask about my role in it. That would have been rough. Not to mention the clan leaders thoughts about Tooru when she went into the shadows.

Most were unhappy, but they had to follow Lord Third's wishes. She could have been taken again.

"Orochimaru," Shikamaru states.

"Very well. You see, Orochimaru always wanted to understand the Kato powers. They were once the strongest clan in the village, yet they only had about twelve members at a given time. They only wanted single children. So, Tooru was born into the family, her mother was excited to finally have the chance to teach history of their clan to her own kin. The Kato clan was open about their history. They liked to prove they came around from a tool for being a weapon to being okay. They hated their past but knew if they didn't have it they would not have been the clan they became. They welcomed anyone into their house and only would copy people with their consent," I say.

"Kakashi, what does this have to do with Tooru?" Shikamaru asks.

"Hold on," I state, "The Kato's were really never feared by anyone. I remember going over there because Naruto's mother, your mother and Saskue's mother would go over there to visit. I know that the grandfather would sit with me in the tree and wait for me to talk. Which I never did but I knew he was there. Tooru was born about a month after Naruto, so the village was still all over the place because of the nine tail attack. But the family only got a day of rest before Orochimaru snuck into the village and took the family. No one knew they were gone until about a week later. Lord Fourth would have a lot to say, but he went away as you know. No one could track them for almost two full years."

"Wait, that doesn't explain how the hell Tooru got out of there when she was two," Shikamaru comments.

I look Shikamaru right in the eyes, "I know. We have reason to believe that Orochimaru did something to her to force her to progress faster than any other child. But it made it to where she was proficient as a chunin at the age of two. When we found her she was defensive and already masters basic techniques, so lord third put her in early. She couldn't even read or write, and she was already becoming a ninja. So she went through and when she was four she graduated, which was much faster than Itachi and myself. Two of the village's most promising ninja being outdone by a four year old. So she gained ANBU by the age of six, right when you started actually learning to be a ninja. But after Itachi killed his clan Lord Third decided that maybe Tooru should be a secret. And only proved it when he saw how she ran away from kids her own age,"

Shikamaru sighs, "The day Choji shoved a chip in her mouth because he thought she would like one. Only she ran away from us."

"Right. I tried to talk him out of it but once I left he did something. And I found myself unable to bring her up anymore. And most other adults were the same, none of you guys really knew who she was. So, she became isolated. Nothing for her to do, and she became the perfect ninja. And Lord Third started her on her own missions at the age of seven. No way should a seven year old be able to perfectly do missions, yet she did them. Apparently Lord Third punished her a lot. First with her emotions, but as you have seen she lost contact with her emotions. No matter what I have tried she never seems to care. And the punishment has been passed down between the Hokage's. After the war Jyria was going to look at it for us, but he is no longer with us. I've been looking at the seal he used on her but I have never seen a seal like it," I finish, "Any questions?"

"What kind of punishments does she go through?" Shikamaru asks with no hesitation.

"Many," I answer. "She has had water dripped on her forehead before, many mind numbing questions. A cell that is way too small for her that physically take a toll on her. There is also people throwing things at her, and her being muzzled while someone just cuts her up. There are too many for me to tell you."

Shikamaru slowly nods. I lean back in my chair. I hate telling her story, but she refuses to tell people I allow her to talk to. Tenzo and Shikamaru have both had to come to me. Tooru needs to talk.

"So," Shikamaru begins, "She doesn't trust people?"

I shake my head. In all the time I have known Tooru, she never seems to trust anyone. She didn't even seem to trust any Hokage. Which I am offended by. No matter what we tried she never wanted anything to do with us other than getting orders from us. No matter how hard we tried we could not get her aware of us in a significant way.

"Any reason why?" Shikamaru presses.

"I have a theory," I start, "She was isolated at a young age. So, she has no idea how to trust people. People in the ANBU questions everything she did, and that isolated her even more. Every moment that she didn't have the ability to talk to anyone, the more she refused to want to talk."

Shikamaru gets a look in his eyes, "And what did everyone else think when she moved into the shadows?"

Now it is my turn to pause. Damn this kid. There is no way any one would ask a question like that. Plus, I was hoping that he wouldn't ask that. Just leave it bee.

Too many people were upset, but once they saw how food she was they stopped. She was the perfect ninja. Lord Third asked all of them to stop complaining.

Damn the Nara's and their ability to focus on small details, his father was the same way.

"I'm guessing by your lack of answer," Shikamaru crosses his arms in front of him, "You didn't want me to ask that."

"Correct," I reply, "But I told you I would tell you everything that there is too know about Tooru. The clan leaders at first were upset by this. But after a while they were happy to an extent. Every person seemed to agree with keeping her a secret, all except your father and Choji's father that is. They wanted to re-weaponize the Kato's ability. Something that had not been done in a very long time. Danzo was the one leading the charge, saying we needed the power to protect the village from Itachi, the nine tails and all the other villages. So, everyone agreed. Now only a few people knew about her, only the Hokage knows all about her powers and what the extent of that power she has."

There is a pause. We only look at each other. I watch Shikamaru work through the information and his processing speed is fast. I always knew that it was fast but it has only gotten faster from the last time I actually talked to him. Which, I mean is good and everything only at a time like this is can be annoying.

"And," Shikamaru continues, "I am guessing that one of the first people she copied was you since you know so many techniques. And that she might have been able to copy Itachi at times. Therefore, all the leaders had to agree about who she could copy and when. I mean she copied the Ino-Shika-Cho formation. She told me about her ability to do the formation a while now."

I look at Shikamaru. Danm him and his ability to put things together within a few moments. Shikamaru should not have been able to put it together that fast, yet he did. And knowing him Shikamaru will come up with a plan to help Tooru, just like in the dreams. He found a way, but it would be a very hard thing to actually achieve. I sit there, thinking. There should be no way for any of this to be happening. I don't care, but Shikamaru might be the key to finally figuring out how to bring Tooru out of the shadows for once and for all.

How do we achieve that though? That could take forever just for one other person to understand her. I know that not everyone will be as receptive as Shikamaru is. Not to mention that was one of the reasons I paired the two of them up. I knew that Shikamaru was a lot like his father, friends with anyone, no matter what the others said about them. He was a friends of Naruto and always looked out for him. That is what he did with Choji as well, he works well with people that aren't well known.

Which is why he had a harder time getting along with Sakura and Saskue, they were known in the whole village for their abilities to be cleaver. Yet, that never stopped him from becoming friends with them. No matter what, and his parents taught him that all.

"I do have a question Shikamaru," I finally say after a moment.

Shikamaru simply nods. He sits ready to hear anything I have to say.

I take in a breath, "What are your feelings towards Tooru?"

There is a long pause. Shikamaru's face slowly becomes red but he looks away from me before it gets any worse. I give a little chuckle.

"Her personality that great?" I push.

 **Naruto**

I need to talk to Kakashi. I found Kiba training by himself, which normally would not have been a problem, only he was destroying the field. And he was yelling, a lot. I don't know what about what it was getting a little too crazy for him along with myself. I tried to approach him but he was starting to throw rocks and Kiba and Akamaru were in full beast mode. And they almost attacked me.

I make it to the door.

"Her personality that great?" I believe that is Kakashi talking. I don't know to who.

There is a muffled chuckle, "I guess so. If not I would not be here would I?"

Is that Shikamaru? He sounds so, affectionate. What has gotten into him? He works with Temari, which I don't think that he should. Regardless, there is no way I would be okay if I ever gotten regeted by Hinata and had to work with her closely on something such as the Chunin exams.

"So, where do you go from here?" Kakashi asks.

Should I go in and tell him about what is going on? I want to know who they are talking about though.

"I don't know. I want to help her. I guess go and see if she has woken up?" Shikamaru says.

"Good idea," Kakashi replies.

There is shuffling and I decide that it is the best time to go into the office. I open the door and see Shikamaru right in front of the door.

"Kakashi we have a problem!" I shout.

Kakashi and Shikamaru both sigh, "What is it Naruto?"

"Kiba, he has gone crazy," I say.

Shikamaru raises an eyebrow to me and has me lead the way to where Kiba is.

 **XX**

We make it to the clearing to see that Kiba is pinned by Temari.

"… And that is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard in my whole life! Really what do you expect Kiba? Man up and move on. I hate dealing with you when you are throwing a tantrum like this!" Temari shouts.

"Naruto, looks like things have calmed down," Shikamaru tells me.

But Temari spots us and launches for Shikamaru.

"Hey, what is that for?" Shikamaru yelps.

"For being a crybaby!" Temari yells.

Then Temari and Shikamaru are fighting it out. I watch as Shikamaru ducks and easily reads Temari's moves. But Temari can also read Shikamaru's moves. That is the problem. They read each other like books.

I walk over to Kiba.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Nothing," Kiba wipes the blood form his mouth, "Temari is just pissed off."

I look back over, they are trying to outwit each other now. They look like they are almost dancing together. Something that is hard to get out of. They have to work at reading each other, which means a harder fight.


	37. Chapter 37: Feelings Begin

**A/N: So I want to try to post once a week. I will be slowing down since I am caught up to where I am in the story. Please follow and favorite though.**

 **Chapter 37: Feelings Begin**

I open my eyes.

I have a headache. A really bad one at that.

What happened to me?

Last thing I remember is Mako being brought in. What did I do to him?

Looking around I see that I am in my room. My room that I barely see anymore because of everything going on.

How did I get here?

Did Shikamaru bring me home?

Which leads me to wonder just how long have I been out?

I take in a deep breath. I have to go and talk to Lord Sixth now, which I know is going to be hard for me. There is a chance I will be punished for not remembering information that Mako told me about the group. I am ashamed of myself. I forgot information when I shouldn't have. I need to make this right, I need to tell Kakashi.

What chance do I have?

I mean it's not like I have a chance to be able to fix anything. I don't think that they will let me back in there right now. I get up and fix my bed, the bed that I rarely ever sleep in. I make sure that my room is in order and ready for me to come back and read later. I walk to the kitchen, maybe to eat something. No one is home. I make some rice.

This reminds me of… no nothing in that dream will happen. I do not panic.

I never felt those emotions. Nothing from that dream was real. What that was, what the dream was to keep me in a trance state, I never experienced those things. Not falling in love, not the panic attacks, not even the kisses that Shikamaru and I shared. None of it was real. Everything int that world was fake, like when we were all placed under and saw our perfect world, or a different reality of our world. Nothing in there was real.

What I did experience was punishment. I know that I was in the small cell. I was in a there and realized that I am the villages dog. They command and I do.

I don't disobey.

But, did Kakashi order me to be Shikamaru and Kiba's friend?

Did I get the order to be all of their friends?

No.

That all has to be from the dream. Anything that had to do with me going against the big three had to be in the dream. That's all. Making friends goes against the big three.

I pull out my rice and try to eat it. But I am so lost in thought that I am having a hard time focusing on the food.

Did it all have to be a dream?

I rub my eye.

Yes, I am nothing to the village. I am only here to protect. I am nothing more in the village and I am nothing less. I have my role and I have, my orders.

The rules.

I set my bowl down and run into my room. Part of the dream. They read my rules. They knew what I had to follow. And I hope that it isn't something they actually did. I look for my rules. I see them and take one out at a time.

 _Everyday Habits_

Habits for a balanced living. I glance at it and see that nothing has been messed with. I know that everything is in order. This is where I have to eat 3 times a day and train for two hours by myself. Keep the house clean. I put the scroll away.

 _Mission Habits_

How I should act on a mission. Doesn't matter is I am alone or not. I have to share information with the Hokage and anyone they want to pair me with. Which is rare. But I still must follow them.

 _Identity Habits_

Keep hidden. No one should know. All questions asked about me are blocked from me saying anything.

 _Big Three_

I breath a sigh of relief. No they didn't. I take another look through the one marked _Big Three_. The Three that Lord Third told me to never break. The three that would result in a large punishment if I were to break any of them. I know that I never wanted to find out what would happen. The three that sealed my faith in being the way I am now. The whole reason that Lord Third wanted to hide me away. He wanted someone completely at his mercy. Someone who could never say no or argue with him. Lord Third made me write down all the rules at one point as punishment.

I open it.

 _Rule number 1: Never remember where the key is_

Key? What key. Guess I am following that on really well.

 _Rule number 2: NEVER talk back to the Hokage. The Hokage is there for a reason. One should always stand at attention and never challenge the word of the Hokage. The Hokage knows all. If challenged you will be challenging the foundation that the village runs on, which could be seen as betrayal of the village._

I watch the other talk back It has caused nothing but trouble for them. Which they haven't been punished for. But they don't have to follow this rule. Which caused a lot of successful missions. The Hokage is the Hokage for a reason. They know what they are talking about.

 _Rule Number 3: Do not make friends. As a ninja it is important that you focus on you work, having friends will be a distraction and would not be able to have a successful mission. Nothing should come above this mission, friendship are unimportant._

As I open it further I see new marks. Questions on the bottom. They are about rule number three. The rule about having no friends.

 _Kakashi ordered the rule to be broken. Do I… No. I cannot question the Hokage._

So Kakashi forced me to break the rule. But that puts two rules against each other. I can't challenge the rules that Kakashi sets for me, but it is asking me to break one of the larges rules.

What key?

I don't remember anything about a key. They key to my file? No, that is the Hokage.

What key!

I close the scroll.

They didn't mess with the rules, but I did. I wrote in the scrolls that I promised myself I would never write in.

What is going on with me. I put the scroll back and walk into the kitchen. I stop. I need to clean it.

Quickly I clean up the rice and put it away for later. I don't have time for this.

I need to go talk with Kakashi. I need to figure out all of this. There is too much conflict between rules. Which is cause me to not focus. And I need to focus on everything, I can't miss anything.

Once I finish I go to the door and put on my shoes.

There is too much for me to think about. And I am not focusing on the group. Which is something I should be doing. Not worrying about the change of rules. Not the great amount of conflict that is going on in my head. This needs to be sorted out.

I turn the corner. I need to make sure that everything is on track for the group.

No.

The rules.

Why did he make conflicting orders? One goes against one of the largest rules for me but there is no way I can argue it.

I stop in my tracks.

I can't question him on it.

That goes against rule 2. I cannot challenge the Hokage. I must listen.

But this is causing me not to be able to focus. I don't know what is going on with me. I need to get this fixed. But I can't go against what the Hokage has asked of me. But I need to ask him.

But I have to listen.

I don't know what to do.

I see the building.

I need to update Kakashi about what I remember about Mako. I don't even know. I should remember. I mean, if there is a chance that there is anything I remember, only I can't. Which could mean another punishment. Something that I need.

I keep failing at everything I am doing. I should just stop while I am ahead.

I walk up to Kakashi's office.

But I see Shikamaru, Naruto and Kakashi running off.

I follow them. If Kakashi is leaving his office than something is wrong.

I follow them all the way to the training grounds. And I have no idea way is going on. Why is everything so messed up? Kiba is on the ground.

But Temari begins to attack Shikamaru. Why is she going after Shikamaru? Did he not listen to her?

Putting up my bubble I wait. I know Kakashi knows I am here. I feel something leaving the area around my bubble. I move after it. I don't know, I don't recognized the chakra at all. I feel Naruto following me. Fine by me. I could use the help.

I get to the board of the village and stop. They left the village. I don't feel the chakra anymore.

"Tooru, what's going on?" Naruto asks when he catches up to me.

"I don't know. Someone was watching you guys. How long has this been going on?" I ask.

Naruto thinks, "I don't know. Kiba came to train and just got upset. We tried to calm him down but I ran to get Kakashi. Tooru, I ask again, what's going on?"

I turn away and head back to the clearing.

Who was that watching them? Do they have anything to do with how Kiba and Temari are acting? If it does what connection can there be to the group? I don't even know if the information I have is correct. I am starting back at square 1. Nothing is making sense.

There are too many factors in what is going on.

The group knows about me. There is a good chance that they know about everyone in the village. Which won't be good. Meaning they can know how to counter us.

I make it to the clearing to see Temari and Kiba are laying down. I just down next to Kakashi.

"Report," Kakashi commands.

"Someone was watching. They ran away and vanished before I could get to them. I am sorry." I answer.

Kakashi breaths out. I stand at attention. I need to listen to him. Do not speak unless spoken to.

"Tooru, I need to talk with you in my office. Shikamaru and Naruto, take these two to the hospital." Kakashi states.

Shikamaru turns around, "If this is about the copy group I am helping Tooru, therefore I need to know anything that she knows."

"We will talk about the copy group once you get there. I must tell Tooru something though. And no one else can hear it." Kakashi states.

I hold my position. I know this is about me messing up. I know that I shouldn't have lost the man. I should have caught him. Now there is no chance for me to find him. They left no trace.

Kakashi begins walking and I follow him.

Kakashi doesn't talk to me.

Which means I need to think. I know my punishment could be really bad. I could be put back in the small cell or I could be tied down to a chair. Asked questions. The possibilities are endless. There is no way for me to know.

But I messed up.

I need to be punished for what I have done.

I lift my head and see we are at the door to the office. We walk inside and I wait.

Kakashi looks around his office and after a minute he sits down. I wait for the moment where I am told. The sooner the better. I already know what is going on.

"Tooru," Kakashi begins, "Look at me."

I look directly at Kakashi. I should be ready.

I can feel my eye stinging. I want to rub them but I can't. I cannot move from the position I am in. I have to keep my face even.

Why am I being like this? I need to figure out things about the group.

I can't be a disappointment to the village. I need to prove my worth. I cannot be acting like this in front of the Hokage. I need to be strong and show them that I am in this position for a reason.

I feel my eyes getting blurry.

"Tooru, did you see anything while you were out?" Kakashi asks.

I nod.

"Tell me," Kakashi commands.

I tell him. I tell him about the last spying mission. I tell him about the feeling I developed for Shikamaru, and how I wanted to stay with all of them. I tell Kakashi about the panic attack I had and how Shikamaru was always there. I tell him of the seal being broken. I tell him how I found out it was a trick.

Through it all though, my eyes sting. But I cannot stop talking. I was asked to speak and now I am speaking.

It takes me 30 minutes to tell him everything. I don't move but my eyes hurt and I feel water on my face.

Is this what tears really are?

"Tooru," Kakashi begins.

I can barely see Kakashi anymore. I don't know what to even do. I can't see, and I can't stop myself.

"Tooru, you need to focus on what I tell you." Kakashi pauses, "I want you to bring me all your rules, including the largest three once we talk about the group. I want to read all of the rules. This is an order."

I stand still.

I was told to never show the rules to anyone. Lord Third asked me.

But Kakashi just ordered it.

The key.

I am not supposed to know about the key. I don't even know anything about it. At some point I did, but right now I don't.

I have to listen to the Hokage.

There is a knock.

"Come in," Kakashi says.

"Is now a good time Kakashi?" I know that voice.

It's Shikamaru.

Kakashi wanted us to have a planning meeting.

 **Shikamaru:**

I could hear her telling Kakashi the story from the other side. She had a similar dream to mine. Only from her point of view. But she didn't leave anything out.

She even told Kakashi about the kiss. Everything she described is what I saw. Something are different but similar.

I walk in and stand next to her. I glance over and see her eyes are red.

She was crying while she was talking.

The dreams made her feel something. Something she never thought she would feel. I narrow my eyes at Kakashi. He looks over to me but doesn't give away he saw me.

"Now, Shikamaru reported to me while you were out Tooru." Kakashi begins. "And now there is someone spying on you. We need to figure out precautions for the village."


	38. Chapter 38: Rules and Games

**A/N: I am very excited to see people reading! I'm enjoying writing this story.**

 **Chapter 38: Rules and Games**

"Now, Shikamaru reported to me while you were out Tooru." Kakashi begins. "And now there is someone spying on you. We need to figure out precautions for the village."

"Yes Lord Kakashi," I answer.

I need to get myself together. I know there is no need for e to be crying. But telling Kakashi about the dreams was really intense. Much more than I expected. Everything I experienced in the dream was more real than I thought. And I guess those emotions stayed with me after I woke up, which they shouldn't have.

Once Shikamaru came in I should have stopped. But, it took me a few seconds.

I need to think of precautions for the village. I need to protect the village.

"With the Chunin exams about to have their last round in a few days I don't want the village to be attacked again," Kakashi pesters.

"We will come up with something Kakashi," Shikamaru states.

Kakashi waves his hands, "Give it a few hours, Tooru needs to bring me something very important."

I nod. The rules. All of them. So Kakashi can read them.

The key though. I don't know what it means. I have no idea what it could possibly mean either. But I know Kakashi gave me an order. Though I cannot argue with him, I don't know.

My feelings are conflicted. Should I be excited? Nerves? What is this other one? Maybe I can ask someone about it.

I glance over to Shikamaru. I see him working through things already, but I don't know what those things are.

I begin to turn to leave when a cough stops me. I stop in my spot. I know that was Kakashi.

"I forgot to mention one little thing Tooru, I want Shikamaru to help you bring those things," Kakashi says, "You are dismissed."

No.

I don't think anyone else but myself and the Hokage can touch the scrolls. I don't know what will happen if Shikamaru touches them. No one has ever bothered. I was told to keep them a secret, the only reason Kakashi knows about them is because he is the Hokage, I have to tell him everything about myself.

Which included the scrolls.

"Unless you have a problem with that Tooru…" Kakashi begins.

No.

I can't go against an order. I need to listen to Kakashi. I must listen.

But Lord Third made it very clear, it's even written down.

I cannot go against orders though. I have to listen to Kakashi. Nothing will change that. Orders are orders.

Do I oppose?

I should. I need to. I don't know how the scrolls could affect Shikamaru, hell, I don't even know if Kakashi can handle the scrolls. This is all new to me. I need to speak out against Shikamaru helping me.

I can't. Rule number 2: Don't question the Hokage.

If it was limited to just Lord Third I could question Kakashi, but it states the Hokage, since Lord Third knew he wouldn't be around forever. Lord Third knew I would be a secret passed down from Hokage to Hokage. No question about it. Lord Third hated dealing with these kinds of things, he hated people who didn't listen.

I was going to be his perfect ninja.

Shikamaru even being around me breaks rules. But I am also breaking everyday rules by being around Shikamaru and being cold to him. Anyone who comes over I need to offer food too.

I broke another rule.

No, I've broken multiple.

Shikamaru should have never learned about me. It is in personality. If I am right in my timeline, before I vanished I was opening up to Shikamaru. I wasn't giving him the cold exterior that everyone should see.

I also cried in front of Lord sixth. I am not supposed to do that.

I need to oppose this.

I can't.

"Tooru… okay?" I hear someone say.

I can't hear them. I haven't been following my rules. Is what Temari said in the dream true? She saw me being punished. No one should ever see me being punished. And someone saw me.

Another rule broken.

Is there glass shattering?

I cover my ears.

How many rules have I broken?

Too many.

I need to be punished. No. I can't punish myself. Only the Hokage may punish me.

I stand up and walk out of the room. I need to…

I don't even know what I need to do.

"Tooru!" I turn around.

Shikamaru is catching up to me. He didn't run or anything. I wait for him.

Do I tell him?

I shake my head, no.

That has to be the dumbest idea I have ever had. No way should I tell Shikamaru why I stopped. It was only for a second anyway. Besides, orders are orders.

Unless you don't follow the rules.

"Yes Shikamaru?" I ask.

Shikamaru pauses in front of me, I see he is narrowing his eyes at me.

"What happened? Are you okay?" Shikamaru questions.

"I'm fine Shikamaru. Just… processing I guess," I answer.

Processing what? What could I possibly be processing.

I need to follow orders.

That's it.

But what happens when I have to go against orders to follow new ones.

I look away from Shikamaru. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I need to focus on what I need to be doing. Getting the rules. The rules that I should be following. I need to look at one of them. Make sure nothing will happen if Shikamaru touches one.

I could test it.

No, Lord Sixth said all the rules.

"Processing? Does this have to do with something what you and Kakashi were talking about?" Shikamaru pushes.

I turn away and begin walking again. I have something I need to do. I don't have time to waste to be playing around. Kakashi told me to do something and I need to do those things.

I ignore Shikamaru and all attempts to talk to me. I don't need to be distracted.

I need to sort this out. I don't need to be distracted.

I see the front door to my house. I walk in. I take off my shoes and walk back to my room. I feel Shikamaru is behind me.

I go into my room and go to the bookshelf.

"Tooru," Shikamaru grabs my hand.

I turn around, "Shikamaru what."

"You keep ignoring me. Tell me what's wrong. You were crying when I walked into the office. What happened?" Shikamaru asks.

I shouldn't tell him. There is no way he would know. I can't live in that reality now. I have to get the group before they get me.

But I need to. I need Shikamaru to trust me.

"I was… I need to do this," I mumble.

"Do what? Tooru please," Shikamaru pauses, "I want to know as your friend."

Friend?

I need to listen to Kakashi. I was told to be their friend. I should tell him.

"I… I don't know if you can touch them…" I mumble.

"Touch what?" Shikamaru questions.

"The rules. No one else should touch them, only myself and maybe the Hokage. I don't even know what will happen to the scroll or you." I answer.

I turn away. I can't.

I told him about the scrolls. Something that I should have never told him. But I need to tell someone. I need to warn him.

I have something. I have a scroll of drawings I drew for Lord Third.

I think it should react how the rules will. It has a rough draft of a few of the rules in it.

"I think I might have a test scroll. I just need to find it." I go to my desk.

"What is it?" Shikamaru asks.

"An old scroll. It was made around the same time the rules were. So I think it will react the same if someone else touches it." I answer.

I look through the desk. I find it right away though. I have to know where everything is in my room. Everything has a specific place. A rule, always be clean, always know where everything is in your room. A rule I think I actually like to follow, everything is clean all the time.

"Since it is just old drawings, I don't care really what happens to it. Since it was done when I was very young. And It was done when I was allowed a break from writing the rules. So it should have similar properties to it." I tell him.

I turn back around only to find Shikamaru right behind me. Shikamaru raises his eye brow to me. I look down at my feet.

This is like one of the first times we meet. I hold the scroll close to my chest. I don't understand what is going on. Should I be excited? Nerves? I have no idea why I reacted like this. The first time I was cold and didn't want to be anywhere near him. But so many things happened from that time.

I can feel my face heating up. No I shouldn't be acting like this. That was only a dream.

I look back up at Shikamaru.

"Sorry," he mumbles.

He backs a step away. I study Shikamaru for a second. Why did he? It reminds me of the dream. I remember liking having him that close, finding comfort. I always wanted him near me. I guess I was glad when he was the only one who could calm me down from the nightmares. Where he was the only one.

How he had to stay with me. How much I wanted to be around him.

The heat of his lips against me. I wanted to feel it more and more. If I had stayed in the dream I wanted to be with Shikamaru.

I shake my head.

That has nothing to with the problems now. We need to test this out, it is to see if he can help me.

"Here," I extend the scroll to Shikamaru.

"Any clue what it could do?" Shikamaru asks.

I shake my head, "No. It could erase everything on that scroll, it could shock you, there are too many things that it can do. All of which could harm you. There is a chance that it could hurt me since it is my scroll."

Shikamaru looks between me and the scroll. There is a large chance anything can happen to me. These things I can't predict. Lord Third sealed them away, so I would always have them. I was punished a lot when I was first learning the rules. And now they are engrained.

I don't even know if other people touching the scrolls is a good idea. But this is one that should react the same.

"Are you going to take it?" I ask.

"Only if you answer a question." Shikamaru says.

I tilt my head, "But you already know what could happen when you take this scroll. What is the question?"

There is a pause. A very long pause. I have no idea what he could want to know.

"What happened in Kakashi's office?" Shikamaru finally asks.

I look away, "It has nothing to do with the mission."

"In a round about way it does though. As comrades we need to trust each other, and for a mission like this I need to know what you were telling Kakashi. Especially if it has anything to do with the copy group." Shikamaru argues.

Now it is my turn to pause.

Shikamaru just pointed out to me.

The thing I was placed under has to do with the group. Anything to do with the group I have to tell Shikamaru. Even if it is a dream. It reveals powers that they have. Which is important to us.

"I was under a geinjutsu, which is something we are glad to know. I was telling Kakashi about it, which means there are a lot of powerful ninja in that group. Kakashi wanted to know what I saw, so I told him." I answer.

"What did you see?" Shikamaru asks.

"You said a question. Maybe I'll answer it in time. But I need to know if anything will happen when you touch this scroll." I tell him.

Shikamaru raises an eyebrow. I look down at the scroll. I look back at the Shikamaru.

"Are you sure about this Tooru?" Shikamaru asks.

I nod, "Lord Sixth wants you to help me, so this is a way to make sure. If anything happens with this it will happen with the rest of them."

Shikamaru takes in a breath. I know he is unsure about this, but this is the only option that we have. If there is a chance that the rules get destroyed I am disobeying a direct order.

But I am still disobeying orders.

No, we need to make sure that everything is going well. I need to make sure these do not get destroyed. I have to make sure of that. Plan with Shikamaru than think about what has happened.

Shikamaru grabs the scroll. I slowly let go of it.

Since I was holding it nothing happened. But what happens when I have no connection with the scroll at all. That is what I don't know.

Shikamaru and I wait. I look between Shikamaru and the scroll. Making sure nothing happens.

"Throw the scroll up than catch it. If it loses contact than regains that contact the scroll could react," I say.

I watch Shikamaru nod. He throws the scroll up. It in in the air for a few seconds, up going to the ceiling. It lands back in Shikamaru's hands.

We wait.

But nothing happens.

"Open it up," I tell him.

Shikamaru slowly nods.

I watch him open that scroll up. But nothing happens. I walk over to Shikamaru and look, the drawings are faded slightly, but that could be due to how old they are. But I don't know for sure. I forgot to check before. If it faded due to Shikamaru's touch, then I don't know if I can trust him moving the others. I think I can carry the scrolls myself.

"I don't know if that was from before. I forgot to check before I handed the scroll to you." I say.

I look up.

Unfortunately, so does Shikamaru.

And we bump heads.

Hard.

But neither of us back away.

"Sorry," Shikamaru and I say at the same time.

I look at Shikamaru and see that he is smiling. A smile I was seeing a lot in the dream. But this isn't the dream, this is reality. A reality where I did not fall in love with Shikamaru.

Wait?

Love?

That isn't in my vocabulary. I shouldn't know what that even means.

I realize how close we are. I move away from Shikamaru.

"Well, let's get the rules. I mean I can get them. I need to take them to Lord Sixth." I say.

I move to my shelf. I grab the four scrolls. I guess Lord Sixth thought that I had a lot more rules. In _Everyday Habits, Mission Habits_ and _Identity Habits_ there are 25 to 50 rules that I have to follow. Some of them are eating, some are how to treat other people.

The only one that has less is the _Big Rules_ which is seen by the name. Only those rules, but also the note I made. I have no idea what it is about.

"I would have thought you had more rules." Shikamaru comments.

"There are a lot of rule in three of them." I answer.

"So you need to take these to Kakashi?" Shikamaru question.

I nod, "While we walk we can discuss precautions as well. That would be a good way to spend this time."

Shikamaru nods. I know that we should talk about it. Since Kakashi wants us to come up with protection for the village. I begin to walk out of my room.

"You know, Naruto has to take the chunin exams again," Shikamaru comments.

I stop, "What?"

I thought that Naruto was a jonin already. Not a genin.

I am so lost.

"Ya, Naruto is still a genin. You know the forever genin?" Shikamaru asks.

"Well yes. Every knows about him. He was good to take on missions since he knew a lot about the land already. He went on missions all the time when he was younger," I answer.

Shikamaru smirks, "Well, we don't want the future Hokage to just be a genin right?"

"I thought he already was a jonin! He is the most powerful ninja in the village. How is he still a genin?" I question.

Shikamaru walks past me. I can see him laughing a little bit.

How the hell is Naruto not higher. He should be!

"I mean, it's the same with Saskue, I don't think he has taken the test since the rookie 9 all took it." Shikamaru states.

"Two of the most powerful ninja in the world and they are only genin?!" I exclaim.

"Yes," Shikamaru begins, "They are taking it this year. Hopefully they can finally pass. Saskue can't use anything too powerful and neither can Naruto. There is a chance they will fail since they get carried away. But if they face each other they may go all out."

"Isn't there another way to let them move up to Chunin?" I question.

Shikamaru shakes his head. He sits down to put on his shoes and I follow him. I leave the scrolls in my lap and get my shoes on.

"Not really. Kakashi can if since now they are in the finals, but they can't use illegal moves when fighting." Shikamaru answers.

"But with both of them there we have a good chance of defending the village. Meaning that everyone else will be there." I say.

That is good. We have the man power for right by the arena. This is a great way to start making security. I can understand why Shikamaru began with this. He leads you into thinking he has no idea what he is talking about but than he comes up with something.

"Temari is also here with her boyfriend. So we have them as well in the stands." Shikamaru states.

"Is that why you told me this? Someone to watch the genin, people in the crowd. And you and I stationed somewhere?" I counter.

"Glad you caught on Tooru," Shikamaru comments.

He threw me off with Naruto and Saskue still being genin. I honestly thought that they were jonin by this point. The fact that Naruto is being looked at to be the Hokage and is still a genin. That doesn't make sense to me. How can the two most powerful ninja in the world be mere genin? That doesn't make sense to me. It should be different.

I thought Kakashi could do whatever he wanted. That's what Lord Third always did.

"I wasn't expecting Naruto and Saskue…" I begin.

"Don't worry, Naruto should be a jonin, I can see where the confusion is. Along with Saskue. They haven't formally passed the test yet. But the things they have done in the test show they are too powerful to be in the exams. So Temari and I planned for something harder for them in the second stage. Though, they barely managed since they were told they needed to let the genin that was put with them to participate as well. Which they have been doing really well at." Shikamaru explains.

I nod along, "I see. I didn't even know."

Shikamaru and I remain quiet for a moment.

That is really odd to think about.


	39. Chapter 39: Talking is Hard

**A/N: Another chapter! Wow! Thank you everyone for reading and please follow and favorite.**

 **Chapter 39: Talking is Hard**

That is really odd to think about. I wasn't thinking that the two of them were genin. But that makes sense I guess. Saskue hasn't taken the exam since the first time and Naruto didn't have enough control to move up. If he hadn't Lady Fifth would have made him a chunin.

But that also means that there will be protection for everyone in the village. We should figure out security details right away.

We can station Saukra and Lee together. Or keep the primary groups from earlier together. That would be good. Their stationed all through the arena. That would allow for max coverage over the area. Also, those groups are built to last long in fights and can protect each other. I should discuss it with Shikamaru right away.

Wait, I don't even know if Shikamaru knows those groups. Plus we won't have the sand siblings really. And that would mean everyone is in pairs. Pairs that would still work I think. Pairing them up to compliment each other. That is the best thing to do right now.

But what would the actual plan be? Sit and wait for an attack?

That would be the worst possible thing to do since we don't have a solid idea of what the enemy can do. We have no idea when they will attack.

Furthermore, we don't know what they want.

Unless we get something out of Mako. Which it sounded like he wasn't going to talk from what I remember. But if it is anything like the dream than he won't know much about who is following and why.

Which would explain a lot of the resistance when I was questioning him.

Oh wait, I don't remember questioning him at all.

I only know based on clues from conversations from others. That's the extent of my knowledge. Which forces me to assume things. Which I don't want to do. I hate that, it could mean I am making a life or death situations. When I was captured is proof that I should never assume anything.

"You seem to be in deep thought over there Tooru," Shikamaru says.

I look over to him, "Just planning in my head. Security detail is a pain to plan all the time."

"Hmm, what are you thinking in terms of security?" he asks.

I look away. I barely know what my thought are now. Let alone what a whole security detail should be. But Kakashi said to plan something with Shikamaru. So I have to follow what Kakashi says.

"Pairs. Stationed all over, with Saskue and Naruto being the ones watching the genin. But other than that we need to pick people based off of their power and get them to places they can protect the best." I finally answer.

"So you think that would be okay? I mean we are dealing with an enemy we know almost nothing about." Shikamaru says to me.

True, we don't know a whole lot about the enemy. Knowing this we should be able to make good pairs for them to fight against should something happen. We also need to let the other village know about what is happening, since this is concerning the whole ninja world.

So, there is Naruto and Saskue, easy pair since they are in the exams. Shikamaru and myself so plan. Maybe Neji and TenTen since they are good about covering each. One distance the other close combat. Hinata and maybe Shino would work the best in this next group. Lee and Kiba? No Kiba and Ino. Ino can stay back and Kiba would protect her body if anything were to happen. Lee and Sakura would still be a good combination. Maybe throw in Choji with Kiba and Ino. Not fully the Ino-Shika-Cho formation but can help.

Or Sai and Choji. Make them a pair. Sai is distance and Choji is good close combat. That would work better for the teams as a whole. I think those combinations would work for security detail. Make sure ANBU are placed around the Kages that are attending the final round.

The still leaves a large blank in what we are dealing with. Especially if there are tracker type of ninja in the group. Tracker ninja are the hardest to deal with, especially if that is what they have been trained to do.

Which reminds me.

I need to know if we did get anything out of Mako.

"Shikamaru," I start.

I stop walking holding the scrolls in my hands. Shikamaru stops a few feet away from me. I look up at Shikamaru, I need to know. But I don't know how to ask. Normally I don't get to ask questions, but this has to do with the group.

"What happened when we went to question Mako? All I remember is being annoyed you were late and than going into to cell with Mako in it. After that I am drawing a blank," I finally say.

Shikamaru looks away from me. He clicks his tongue. I don't know what happened. I remember Kakashi mentioning it, but after that I have no idea what happened. I need to know what happened, I need to know so I know how mad Kakashi will be at me.

I should never forget the information that I learn about. That is a rule, that I have broken.

"Well, Tooru, a lot happened. We got a group name and some information about Mako…" Shikamaru begins.

"Than why aren't we using that information?" I question.

"Let me finish." Shikamaru pauses, "Tooru, you tortured that man. In a way I have never seen someone torture another person. You dropped water on him, made him see something. I don't know fully, I just know that there was an intent to kill, or get him close to that. You broke Mako, he even said he will be willing to tell us anything."

I let this sink in.

I've tormented people before. But I always remember what I did and the steps that were taken to get the information pulled out of the person. I have no memory of interrogating Mako. I don't know what I did. I could have done any number of things.

Which is what scares me. What did Shikamaru see?

If Shikamaru saw more of my power that isn't a good thing. I know the extent of my powers, no one else should ever know the full extent of my power other than the Hokage. And I let Mako see power. That is another thing that should have never happened.

I don't know what any of them saw. I can't even think of what I did in that moment. I don't know how long the interrogation lasted.

I look down to the ground.

I really messed up this time. Not only did I forget the information that could help to make planning easier, I showed what I can do when interrogating people. Something that no one should be in the room for. For I am normally used as a last resort since most of the time the people I question try to kill themselves.

Which reminds me.

Did Mako even make it through our session? Is he even still alive?

"I did that?" I finally mumble.

"You really don't remember Tooru?" Shikamaru asks.

I shake my head. I don't remember. It's like when he first meet me. I never remembered anything other than the group. Those things needed to be priority in my mind.

But now I don't know what I need to, this is a change. I am looking at something from outside of my own body, I have no clue what happened. I don't know what to focus on.

What am I supposed to do?

Shikamaru takes a step towards me. I look up at him, I feel so lost. I don't know what is going on with me. I shouldn't be acting like this. I need to be the ninja to get through this. I don't know what is going to happen. I have no clue what will happen with these rules.

I look down at the rules.

What will happen to these?

"Tooru," Shikamaru says.

I slowly look up to Shikamaru. He is looking directly at me. I don't know what my breath pattern is or how I look. Most likely not composed. No,, I have to remain composed at all times.

"You need to calm down. We still have Mako, but you need to follow what Kakashi said right?" Shikamaru asks.

I nod my head.

"Lets get these scrolls to Kakashi and we can plan security okay?" Shikamaru asks.

I look up at Shikamaru. He is really okay with everything?

I'm not even sure if I am okay with everything going on in my life now. Too many things have happened in the past few months. I don't know what to even think at times like this.

I don't know how to process everything that has happened to me in the past few months I've known Shikamaru and Kiba.

"Shikamaru! Tooru!" we both turn.

As if on cue Kiba comes running up to us. I turn away from him and collect my emotions. I shouldn't be feeling like this.

"Hey Kiba." Shikamaru greets.

"Hi," I mumble.

"I wanted to ask you guys something." Kiba pauses, waiting for all the attention, "I was wondering if you guys wanted to train with a large group of us."

I look at Shikamaru and back at Kiba. Training?

I think back to the dream. Last time we trained together it ended badly. No way can I allow for that…

No.

This is reality.

Anything in the dream is not real.

"I mean sure. When are we planning this?" Shikamaru asks.

I look back at Shikamaru, he looks at me. I don't know if this is a good idea. But this is a different time. I just need to make sure it is okay. Kakashi has to know all my movements and what I am doing. Plus, if something is going to happen Kakashi has to know what is going on in my life.

I don't get a say with what I do or how I spend my time.

"In about two hours. We want everyone to come." Kiba pauses, "What about you Tooru?"

"I have to check to make sure I don't have anything else to do… but I'll let you know." I answer.

"I mean you can jut show up. Let everyone else know you're okay." Kiba says.

I look at Shikamaru and he shrugs.

"But if you guys can, come and join us. We don't know how we are training yet but I just know we are trying something new. Lee said something about a new game he wanted to try out." Kiba explains.

"Ya, we will see about it. We have to be going, Tooru needs to drop something off to Kakashi." Shikamaru says.

"See you later Kiba," I bow.

Kiba waves bye and Shikamaru and I keep walking to Kakashi's office.

We keep walking, in silence.

I want to ask Shikamaru about training, but I don't know.

I am worried since the dream ended badly. But this isn't a dream. Besides, in the dream I didn't ask Kakashi about the training. I need to ask him first.

I am only worried about the repercussions of what could happen if I train with them. Kakashi will tell me what I am allowed to use and what I am not allowed to use. That is important. No one should know what I can do fully.

"Yo Tooru," Shikamaru finally says.

"Yes?" I look over to Shikamaru.

I don't know what he is going to say. I hate this feeling of not knowing anything that is going on. But I don't know what I am even feeling.

"If you don't want to train with us you don't have to." Shikamaru says.

Shikamaru doesn't even look at me when he says this. I look down to the ground.

I don't…

UGH!

Why can't I understand what I am feeling?

"I… I don't know." I pause, "I guess I am a little wary of it."

"Why?" Shikamaru questions.

Before I can think my lips are moving, "Because no one has trained with me. No one has been allowed to. The Hokage determines everything about me. I have no say in what happens. I don't even know if Lord Sixth will allow for me to train with you guys. I don't know the full extent of any power I have, and I highly doubt that Lord Sixth does either. But I can't go against Lord Sixths words. I mean, aren't you scared of me Shikamaru? I… I am a… mystery to everyone. I don't even know who I am. I hate not knowing things. I want to know who I am. But I can't since the Hokage tells me who I am, and what I am doing every moment of the day. Which means I fall into a pattern. Right now I don't have a pattern, everything is so messed up in my head. I don't know what's wrong and what's right at this point. Why aren't you running away from me? Lord Third thought everyone would run away…"

I look up. I didn't realize that I stopped walking. I see Shikamaru is looking at me. He doesn't look shocked though. He looks very calm about what I have said.

But I am not calm about what I just said. If anything, I feel like I might break down. I mean I can't break down right at this moment. I need to stay in focus. But I can't stop the thoughts running through my head. I don't want Shikamaru to run away from me. I don't know if I can handle him running away.

But I know that he will.

Lord Third said that everyone would run away from me at some point. No way can I avoid it. I was told I would always be alone. That people will run away.

"Tooru," Shikamaru starts, "Why would I run away? Yes, you questioning Mako freaked me out. Yes, the fact that you ran away from Orochimaru at the age of two terrifies me because it shows me a lot of power."

But why is he still around? After the mission is over Kakashi will tell him to leave. I will be alone again. And I don't know if I ever want to be alone again. I've been shown what it's like to not be alone. I've had a taste of being friends with people.

I don't want to be alone. I want someone to be with me. But Lord Third isolated me. I don't know what I can do.

Shikamaru just admitted that he is terrified of me.

Why wouldn't he leave? People who are scared of me are removed. Once they admit it they always leave, I never see them again.

"That being said," Shikamaru continues, "I can see how alone you are. I saw it in Naruto, we all saw it in Gaara almost too late. And in Saskue. Now look at them, they are respected in the village. Lord Third was wrong, why would any one of us run away from you?"

I shake my head. I don't know why I am acting like this. I don't want to show weakness, but I don't think I should be keeping everything in. In the dream I felt better after talking about my problems. Less stressed about things because I knew I could talk to someone about what was bugging me.

Can I reach that again?

I was told to tell Shikamaru everything. But I haven't told him everything. I need to tell Shikamaru everything. No matter how hard it is.

"Lord Third wanted to keep me hidden Shikamaru. I was never meant to have friends, not even people to work with other than the Hokage." I tell him.

"That's selfish." Is all Shikamaru says.

I look over to him.

Selfish?

I was told to protect the village. I was told that everything the Hokage told me was for the village, nothing changed about it. This was the best thing for everyone in the village. That way I was spared the looks and was doing something. I was advance, no one knows what Orochimaru did to my people in the labs. No one has known, Lord Third said he would look into it once Orochimaru was captured for good.

Why don't I believe those words anymore?

"Lord Third made a choice for you. With Naruto he let him run wild, same with Saskue. Why are you different? Because of what happened to your clan?" Shikamaru asks.

"I don't know. I guess that he wanted someone by his side," I answer.

"Come on, Tooru. You and I both know he could have anyone by his side. He is the one who wanted all of us to work together, he did teach Lady Fifth. The woman set on team work. The team work that they all had. He just wanted a secret in the village." Shikamaru says.

He walks over to me and places a hand on my head.

"He… I don't know. Lord Third always said that I was too young to understand what was going on." I mumble.

I look into Shikamaru's eyes.


End file.
